Firewalker

by Josephine Angelini

  “And now he wants to go back and fight for his people with Alaric, but I can’t go with him,” Lily said, hiccupping as they pulled into a parking space at Salem High.

  “Why not?” Tristan asked, turning in his seat to face Lily.

  “Because that’s exactly what Lillian wants me to do,” Lily shouted, like Tristan should know that. “And he’d never let me, anyway. I almost died, like, every five minutes I was there. You think Rowan would ever let me go back? Or that I’d want to? Horrible things happened to me there, Tristan. I can’t go back. Ever.”

  Tristan reached out and pushed one of Lily’s wild curls away from her damp cheek. “I guess you’re stuck here with me, then,” he said quietly.

  “Oh, Tristan, it’s such a mess,” she said, fresh tears streaming down her face. “And the thing that’s just killing me is that I had no clue he was planning to leave. I thought I knew everything about him, but I never even suspected—”

  “I know,” Tristan said, pulling her into a hug. “It’s the secret that hurts the most.”

  “Yeah,” Lily whispered. She thought of how she was hiding the contact she’d had with Lillian from Rowan, and gnawing guilt swallowed what was left of her tears.

  They heard a tap on Tristan’s window, and jumped apart. Una and Breakfast looked in the window as Tristan rolled it down.

  “What’s up?” Breakfast asked, eyeing Lily’s tear-streaked face meaningfully.

  “It wasn’t me,” Tristan replied.

  “That’s a first,” Una said, smirking. She looked at Lily and her face pinched in sympathy. “What happened?”

  “We’re going to be late,” Lily said, gathering her things. “Let’s walk and talk.”

  As the day went on, Lily recounted the situation for Una and Breakfast. She spent more time fleshing out the dire situation the Outlanders were in, how they didn’t even have antibiotics to treat a fever, and the barbaric cruelty that Lillian exacted on anyone who even attempted to study science—even doctors who tried to heal sick children. The more Lily explained about Rowan’s world, the more she painted herself into a corner. By lunch, she wasn’t getting much sympathy from her mechanics.

  “Lillian hanged Rowan’s father,” Una said delicately as she opened her vintage My Little Pony lunchbox. “That would make anyone a little revenge-y.”

  “She’s also slaughtering what’s left of his tribe because they’re trying to make a better life for themselves,” Breakfast added, frowning down at his sandwich. “Damn, I’m not even from there, and I want to go fight.”

  “Aw,” Una said, like she was looking at a fluffy bunny. “He’s so cute when he wants to kill people.”

  Lily looked to Tristan for help. “I get where you’re coming from, Lily, and it sucks that he kept it from you, but come on,” he said, shrugging sheepishly. “Rowan’s going back to fight alongside his stone kin—one of whom happens to be another version of me. How against that can I be?”

  “So you all think I’m being selfish,” Lily said, frustrated. Silence. “Thanks, guys. I feel so much better after our little talk.”

  “Lily,” Una said through a laugh. “You have every right to feel hurt. Secrets destroy relationships.” Una’s face suddenly fell and she looked down at her hands. Lily saw a memory flash of a woman with Una’s black hair and fair skin. Lily guessed from the feelings of anger, blame, and love she felt that the woman was Una’s mother.

  “But you all think he’s doing the right thing,” Lily said, finishing Una’s thought for her. Her mechanics nodded in agreement. “And you’re right,” she said tiredly. “He is doing the right thing. I just wish he’d do the wrong thing in order to stay with me.”

  “No you don’t,” Tristan said bitterly. “When you lose respect for someone, Lily, you’re done. You’d stop loving him.”

  Like you stopped loving me, he added in mindspeak.

  Lily dropped her eyes and stared at her carrots. She’d gotten used to the Tristan in Rowan’s world—the one who didn’t know all of her faults and call her on them.

  The day lurched on for Lily, in the most torturous way imaginable until last period when Lily felt Rowan’s mind brushing against hers as she and Tristan walked to their last class.

  Make sure they come home with you after school. They need to train.

  I told them you were leaving. They think you’re doing the right thing.

  What about you?

  I know you’re doing the right thing. I don’t have to like it, though.

  “Lily!” someone called out urgently. Lily turned around and saw Scot making his way toward her through the crowd. She stopped and waited, surprised.

  Who’s that? Rowan asked in mindspeak.

  A friend of Tristan’s who put something in my drink and tried to jump me at a party the night before I disappeared.

  He did what?

  Easy. I can handle him.

  Careful. He’s got the potential to be a mechanic.

  Huh. You’re right.

  He’ll chase you.

  I can handle him.

  Lily shoved Rowan out of her mind before he could get too worked up.

  “I told you to stay away from her,” Tristan said angrily. Scot recoiled slightly, but gathered his courage. Lily noticed a red scar on Scot’s cheek that hadn’t been there before she disappeared.

  Lily put her hand on Tristan’s arm. “It’s okay, Tristan. I have a feeling he just wants to apologize.” She turned to Scot and met his eyes. “Don’t you, Scot?”

  “Yeah,” Scot said, swallowing hard. “I didn’t know a little vodka would do that to you. I just wanted to—” He broke off suddenly, looking at Lily desperately.

  “You wanted to get me drunk and take advantage of me,” Lily said plainly. He grimaced like he was in pain, shifting from foot to foot. “Here’s the thing, Scot. We’re not going to be friends. We’re not going to hang out. And if I ever hear even a whisper that you’ve tried that crap on some other girl, I’m going to come after you. Get it?”

  Scot nodded slowly, his face frozen.

  “Good.” Lily turned and continued on to her class.

  “I think you made him pee a little,” Tristan said.

  “He’s lucky I didn’t—” Lily stopped herself. Didn’t what? Have him thrown in a dungeon? Hanged? Lily’s insides chilled at how easily her thoughts had turned draconian. She remembered when she first met Alaric—how he’d made her meet his gaze and how he’d known without a doubt that she wasn’t Lillian. He’d said there was no death in her eyes. Lily wondered what he would find inside them now. She looked at Tristan, laughed nervously, and pretended to brush it off. “I should have kicked Scot in the ding-ding.”

  Tristan smiled, relaxing a little, but the tense set of his mouth told her that he hadn’t totally let it go, either.

  “That’s quite a scar he’s got,” Lily said quietly as they settled into their lab table.

  “I hit him harder than I meant to,” Tristan replied, his tone heavy with regret. “I was so angry, and not just because of what he did to you, but because you were right. I left you with him at that party so I could cheat on you. I wanted to blame him for what I did.”

  “Sorry I got you arrested.” Lily smiled at him, thinking how much he’d grown up since she’d left.

  “No, that’s on me, not you.” Tristan sighed. “His parents were right to press charges. I sent him to the hospital.”

  “So you’ve forgiven me?” she whispered as Mr. Carnello swept into the room to start class.

  “Of course,” Tristan whispered back. “I forgave you the second you got back, but I had to make you suffer a little.”

  After school Rowan allowed only a short homework break for the other mechanics before diving into their training, starting with teaching them about burns and how to heal them.

  “What’s the big deal with burns, anyway?” Una said, frazzled. Lily could tell that she’d been standing over the hot cauldron inhaling fumes for a bit too long.

&nb
sp; “Lily, would you show them?” Rowan said.

  Lily walked to the fireplace and stuck her hand in the flames. Una pushed Lily back reflexively.

  “Are you crazy?” Una scolded angrily.

  “It’s okay, Una,” Lily replied. “Look.” She held up her hand to show that it was uninjured. “The best way for a witch to gather energy is for her to go into the flames.”

  “It’s called firewalking,” Rowan said, breaking the tense silence. “It’s extremely dangerous and very few survive it. Even those who can survive it, like Lily, are often injured.”

  “But in order to generate enough energy to get Rowan back to his world, you’ll have to burn me,” Lily finished quietly.

  It took a moment for someone to respond. Tristan crossed to Rowan and shoved him to the floor. “You bastard,” he said, standing over Rowan.

  “Tristan,” Lily began, taking a step forward to intervene.

  “No, Lily. I thought Rowan was doing this big noble thing by going home, but you didn’t say anything about us having to burn you to get him there,” Tristan shouted.

  “Yeah, I have to agree with Tristan on this,” Breakfast said hesitantly. “I mean—what do we do? Tie you to a stake?”

  “Yes,” Lily answered. Breakfast’s smile dissolved. “It’s pretty intense.”

  “Okay, time out,” Una said, pulling on Tristan’s arm until he moved back enough to allow Rowan to stand. “I’m sure Rowan would never do anything to endanger Lily’s life, so why don’t you tell us what level of damage we’re talking about here. Bad-day-at-the-beach kind of burn, or meltdown-at-the-power-plant kind of burn?”

  “She’ll be okay if you three are properly trained,” Rowan answered calmly. “Look, this isn’t going to happen tomorrow. Lily still needs to find my world.”

  “Don’t worry about that,” Lily replied, looking away. She knew Lillian would guide her if she decided to worldjump. In fact, there was little chance Lily would be able to ignore Lillian once she entered the spirit world.

  “How are you going to find Rowan’s world?” Breakfast asked.

  “It’s called spirit walking. Your spirit leaves your body and you send it into parallel universes. It’s a talent that runs in certain families,” Lily answered, looking at Breakfast meaningfully. “My mom and your uncle do it all the time without even trying.”

  Breakfast put a hand to his head. “Oh, no way,” he said slowly as understanding dawned on him. “My uncle’s actually in another world?”

  “His spirit is,” Lily replied.

  “Sweet,” Breakfast said appreciatively.

  Rowan regarded Breakfast through calculating eyes for a moment, and then looked out the window. “The sun’s almost down,” he said. “As soon as Juliet gets here we can go to the beach and get back to combat training.” Something caught his eye. He went to the window and moved the curtain. “There’s someone sitting in the car parked across the street.”

  Tristan was by Rowan’s side in a moment. “That’s Scot’s car,” he said. “I’ll handle him.”

  Una’s arm shot out and she stopped Tristan. “Breakfast. Why don’t you go out and have a chat with dear old Scot?”

  Breakfast hurried outside and crouched over the driver’s-side window. After a few minutes, the car drove off and he returned with a troubled look on his face.

  “What’d he say?” Lily asked.

  “He really wanted to talk to you, Lily. He looked pretty strung out,” Breakfast replied.

  “He’s not going to stop,” Rowan said darkly. “The farther you push him away, the more desperate he’ll become.”

  “Well, what can I do about it?” Lily asked, frustrated. “Let him sit with us at lunch?”

  “Claim him,” Rowan replied.

  A short, surprised laugh burst out of her. “You’re joking.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Do you have any idea what he tried to do to Lily?” Tristan asked angrily.

  Rowan glared at Tristan, silencing him, and then looked at Lily. “Unclaimed, Scot’s a wild card. Claimed, you can do whatever you want with him.”

  Lily stared at Rowan with her mouth open. “That’s why she claimed Carrick,” she whispered.

  Rowan nodded slowly. “And Gideon before him,” he added. “You have to start thinking tactically, Lily. Claiming isn’t just about surrounding yourself with loving people who adore you. It’s about keeping your enemies in check. You need to claim Scot as soon as possible. Today.”

  Lily’s stomach turned at the thought of being inside Scot’s mind. “I can’t, Rowan.”

  Rowan backed off, but he looked at Tristan. Lily was miffed to see understanding pass between the two of them. Somehow, Rowan always seemed to end up with Tristan on his side.

  Juliet arrived, shedding books and winter layers as she made her way from the garage to the living room. She paused when she sensed the tense atmosphere. “What’d I miss?” she asked.

  While her mechanics explained the whole sordid mess with Scot to Juliet over dinner, Lily and Rowan stayed quiet. She could feel Rowan’s mind constantly brushing against hers, asking for entry, until she snapped.

  Stop it, Rowan. I don’t want you in my head right now.

  Show me what happened between you and Scot. I saw a fragment of that memory when you claimed me, but not the whole thing.

  Why? You’re leaving. I’m done sharing myself with you.

  She felt the sting in Rowan’s chest as keenly as he did. Worse, even. Lily realized that the problem with loving someone more than she loved herself was that when she hurt him, she was the one who was hurt the most.

  When it was dark, the group went down to the beach and built a bonfire. They trained until dawn. Rowan barely let any of them sit for a moment to rest.

  “Dude. We have school in the morning,” Breakfast complained, panting.

  “When you get to school, you can take energy from Lily,” he replied unsympathetically. “With a witch to fuel you, you can go days without sleeping or eating.”

  “And what about me?” Lily asked.

  Rowan wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I have herbs that will keep you energized. You’ll be fine.”

  You want them trained as soon as possible so you can leave as soon as possible, right?

  He didn’t answer her, but she could feel that sting in his chest again. Hurting him hurt her, but she couldn’t seem to stop doing it.

  When Rowan finally said they were finished for the night, Lily and Juliet trudged up from the beach alongside each other with the rest of the group several paces behind.

  “I’m actually okay with the no sleeping thing,” Juliet said, yawning. “Been having horrible nightmares, anyway.”

  Lily’s skin pricked. “About what?” she asked in a low voice.

  “Dad. He was getting—”

  “Tortured,” Lily finished for her. The sisters looked at each other, their faces mirroring the other’s dread. They both broke into a run at the same time.

  “Lily, wait,” Rowan yelled.

  They didn’t stop. Lily and Juliet ran side by side, their fear entangled. “Please, no. Please make it have been a dream,” the sisters chanted under their breath.

  When they were still a block away, the sisters could see a police cruiser and an unmarked car parked outside their house. Their legs got rubbery and heavy as they stumbled across their front yard. They saw their mother standing at the door in a tatty old bathrobe, surrounded by officers and Agent Simms. Samantha’s hair was a ball of angry red tangles and her eyes swam with confusion that bordered on hysteria.

  “Girls!” she called out, the pitch of her voice sliding up to a shriek. “It’s your father!”

  Lily and Juliet stopped running at the same time. They knew instinctively that running wouldn’t help anyway. Their father was already dead.

  CHAPTER

  8

  The police were there for hours. Tristan and Rowan got questioned first. Rowan, because he didn’t have any form of identificat
ion he could give to the police, and Tristan, because the authorities had gotten accustomed to suspecting him of foul play where the Proctor family was concerned. Rowan handled the questions calmly. Tristan was defensive and confrontational, especially with Simms.

  At some point, the police turned their attention to Lily. They told her that they knew about the bonfires on the beach. They’d also heard that odd things were happening down there. Strange, howling noises had been reported, and eerie, pulsing lights had been seen from a distance.

  Lily could barely discern their muffled questions through the monotonous hum that had taken over her mind. She saw their lips moving, but it took time for her to string their words together. In her thoughts she played the “nightmare” she’d had about her dad over and over.

  The beating he’d taken had been real. The blood. The begging. Carrick’s face looming above—watching the pain he inflicted with such hungry interest. And she had ignored it. She could have found him, saved him, but she hadn’t believed it could be real. She hadn’t believed Lillian would ever go that far. Her father had never understood why he was being hurt, but Lily understood. Now she did, anyway.

  “Miss Proctor? Lily?” an officer asked.

  “She’s in shock,” someone else answered.

  Lily realized they were talking about her and sat up straighter. “Bonfire,” she repeated. She looked at the faces of the officers and realized that she was alone with them. They’d separated her from the rest of the group.

  Rowan?

  There you are! You fell so deeply into yourself I couldn’t reach you. You really scared me. Don’t give them any information, Lily.

  I don’t even understand what they’re saying.

  Good. Say that to them. Say you don’t understand what’s going on. Say we were on the beach for fun.

  “I don’t understand what’s going on,” Lily parroted numbly.

  The officers exchanged looks. Simms sat down opposite Lily, and the look on her face was of real concern. “The nature of your father’s death points to certain ritualistic practices,” she said carefully.