by Robin Baker
For a week after that conversation, she had attempted to emulate her friend and masturbated every night. However, two nights in a row seemed to be her limit. Even then, the second night was hard work. Quickly, she had reverted to the once a week or so that came naturally.
When her partner returned from his night out, she was curled up on the settee, watching television. They exchanged pleasantries and after a while began to prepare for bed. As they lay down, she felt like intercourse. The thought of a penis inside her was mildly appealing. She tried a half-hearted flirtation but her partner responded with that edge of irritability which by now she knew meant ‘no chance’. Mentally shrugging, she turned away from him and within minutes was asleep.
Of all aspects of human sexuality, the female orgasm has probably been the most enigmatic. Women differ considerably in their experiences (Scene 36). Some never have an orgasm. Others have orgasms but never during intercourse. Yet others have an orgasm nearly every time they have intercourse. Although clearly a sexual phenomenon, the female orgasm (unlike male ejaculation) is not necessary for conception. Women who never orgasm readily conceive.
Variability is one of the major problems in discussing the female orgasm. Every orgasm is a bit like every other orgasm, a bit like most other orgasms, and a bit like no other orgasm. Moreover, no two women have precisely the same range, frequency and pattern of orgasm. Women differ far more than men over when, how and how often they climax.
The five scenes in this chapter explore the ways in which orgasm and – equally importantly – the avoidance of orgasm can enhance a woman’s reproductive success. Each scene illustrates a situation which will be very familiar to some women, and totally beyond the experience of others. In each situation, the function of orgasm will be the same for all women who orgasm in that particular situation. But when and how often they make use of that function will differ from woman to woman – for very good reason. These differences between women are extremely interesting and in Scene 36 we shall discuss them in their own right. In these five scenes, though, we are concerned primarily with the way that orgasm has a different influence on a woman’s reproductive success depending on the situation in which it occurs.
In some ways, it is difficult to see any function in a piece of behaviour that is so variable and unpredictable – which is why many people have concluded that there is no function to orgasm other than that of giving pleasure. But as we have already seen, pleasure is not in itself a function (Scene 10), but a by-product of function. Basically, whenever the body is intent upon a particular course of action, it generates an urge to perform that action. As that urge is gratified, the sensation generated is pleasure. The female orgasm is pleasurable because it has a function. A woman feels like an orgasm whenever her body judges it will enhance her reproductive success. When her body judges it will reduce her reproductive success, she feels no such urge. We begin, perhaps surprisingly, not with orgasms associated with intercourse (Scenes 24 to 26) but with orgasms generated by masturbation.
Nearly 80 per cent of women masturbate to orgasm at some stage in their lives and for most, like the woman in the scene, it is a routine but not very frequent activity. The average rate of masturbation is just under once per week – slightly higher in the week or so before ovulation, slightly lower at other times. A woman is also more likely to masturbate, and to masturbate more often, as she gets older, at least up to the age of forty.
The commonest method of female masturbation is to stimulate the clitoris, usually with just the fingers. Sometimes fingers are pushed into the vagina but this is most often a complement to clitoral stimulation, not a replacement. On occasion, a penis substitute may be inserted in the vagina – again, as a complement to clitoral massage. In different cultures, objects as diverse as reindeer muscle, fruit, vegetables and commercial vibrators may be used as masturbation aids. Women have even been known to recruit a cat or dog to lick their genitals during masturbation. Even more rarely, a woman may allow a dog or some other animal to have intercourse, again as a form of masturbation.
Because of the confusion that has surrounded the function of the female orgasm, similar confusion has surrounded the role of the clitoris. This organ develops in the female foetus from the same cells as does the penis in the male foetus. All female mammals have a clitoris, the tip (or ‘bulb’) of which contains many nerve endings and is very sensitive – more sensitive, in fact, than the tip of the penis.
In some monkeys, mainly those from South America, the clitoris is as large if not larger than the penis. Often, it is also grooved and carries urine away from the female’s body during urination, much as the penis does in males. Such large clitorises could play an active role in intercourse. They are not stimulated directly as a male thrusts, because the rear-entry position usual for primates means that the clitoris is forward of the point where the penis enters the vagina. Nevertheless, because of its size, the clitoris is relatively easy for both the male and the female to find and handle during intercourse. This is very different from the situation in most other monkeys, as well as in apes and humans, in which the clitoris is much smaller than the penis and is often concealed in folds of skin.
Inevitably, a small clitoris is even less likely to be stimulated during rear-entry intercourse. Even species which sometimes couple frontally (some monkeys, orang-utans, chimpanzees, gorillas and of course humans) do not necessarily stimulate the clitoris during intercourse. In fact, in such species the clitoris is so cunningly positioned that it actually seems designed not to be automatically stimulated by intercourse. Moreover, small, semi-or totally concealed clitorises are difficult for a male to find. The overriding impression, therefore, is that a small, concealed clitoris like that of a woman is primarily a push-button for self-masturbation – not an organ for automatic involvement in intercourse (Scene 25).
Women are not the only female mammals to masturbate. Many other primates have been seen stimulating their clitorises, either with their hands or by rubbing their vulvas on the ground or on branches. Chimpanzees have been seen inserting leafy twigs in their vaginas, then brushing them against vertical objects, causing vibration. Nor is female masturbation only found in primates. Female porcupines have been seen to stand astride a stick then run, causing the stick to vibrate and so stimulate the clitoris.
Anecdotes apart, we know relatively little about female masturbation and orgasm in species other than humans, though we do know that a female chimp will climax if someone massages her clitoris. Moreover, once the chimp has discovered this substitute for masturbation, she will periodically solicit clitoral massage by presenting her rear-end to the person’s hand. A cow also will climax if someone massages her clitoris. A few minutes after massage begins, the cow’s cervix is seen to gape open and move.
The same cervical movements are seen following clitoral stimulation in humans. Film taken by a tiny camera placed inside the vagina of a masturbating woman shows that when she climaxes, her cervix also gapes, dipping into the vagina at the same time. This gaping and dipping is sometimes called ‘tenting’ and may happen several times during the course of a single climax. Orgasmic tenting of the cervix, combined with climactic events inside the cervix itself, are the key to the function of masturbation, for they have three main consequences.
First, masturbation (via orgasmic tenting and so on) temporarily increases the flow of mucus from the cervix into the vagina. Mucus flows slowly from the cervix all the time, but orgasm speeds it up – almost equivalent to the difference between a ‘runny’ nose and sneezing. When a woman becomes sexually aroused during masturbation, glands at the top of her cervix increase their rate of mucus production, particularly if she climaxes. This quickly increases the size of the mucus ‘glacier’ flowing through her cervix (Scene 3). At first, this is accommodated by the tenting cervix. Then, when tenting ceases, a part of the older section of the enlarged glacier is squeezed into the vagina, like toothpaste out of a tube. This flood of mucus lines her vaginal walls, laying dow
n a thick film of lubricant ready for her next intercourse (Scene 3). This shedding of mucus, however, does more than simply enhance vaginal lubrication. Because it is the oldest section of mucus that is ejected, it carries with it much of the cervical debris, including old blocker sperm and disease organisms. This is an effective way of fighting infection. In Scene 22 the woman’s friend was driven to masturbate nightly during an episode of urinogenital infection.
Secondly, masturbation increases the acidity of the cervical mucus. When a woman’s cervix tents, the mucus inside stretches sideways. New channels form through the mucus and at the same time material from the top of the vagina is effectively ‘sucked’ into the tip of the ‘elephant’s trunk’ of the cervix (Scene 3). The fluids at the top of the vagina are very acidic, and as the cervix tents several times during the course of the climax, acid spreads through the mucus channels making the older portion of the cervical glacier more acidic than it was before. When the climax ends, part of this acidic mucus (plus any disease organisms it contains) will be ejected back into the vagina as described above, but some will remain in the cervix. Neither sperm nor bacteria function properly in acidic mucus. For a while after masturbation, therefore, and maybe even for days, sperm are less able to swim through the mucus channels and disease organisms are less able to invade and multiply.
Thirdly, masturbation changes the strength of a woman’s cervical filter – most often strengthening it. This is due not only to the increase in acidity we have just discussed but also to orgasm triggering about half of the cervical crypts (Scene 4) to void their load of sperm from the last insemination. This strengthens the filter because these sperm, on re-entering the mucus, block new mucus channels. Moreover, because many of these new blockers are high up in the cervix, their influence may last for days – persisting until the cervical glacier carries them down into the vagina. Sometimes, masturbation does not increase the strength of the filter. The critical factor seems to be how many of her cervical crypts still contain sperm.
The more crypts that contain sperm when a woman climaxes, the more are injected into the mucus channels and the stronger her resulting filter. Consequently, masturbation twenty-four hours after intercourse, when many crypts contain sperm, strengthens the filter more than masturbation forty-eight hours after intercourse, when fewer crypts contain sperm, and so on. As long as enough crypts still contain sperm, a second masturbation a day or so after the first strengthens the filter still further, but a third or fourth usually has no additional effect. Presumably, after the second masturbation, few if any crypts contain sperm. Similarly, if the crypts are empty of sperm for other reasons (because, for example, it is more than eight days since last intercourse or the couple used a cap or condom at the previous intercourse), masturbation again does not strengthen the cervical filter.
We have already noted the tendency for a woman to feel like masturbating more often during the fertile phase of her cycle than at other times. This now makes sense – this is precisely the time when she has most to gain from preparing her vaginal lubricant and cervical filter for intercourse. All the same, she may still feel the urge to masturbate at other times. Of course, even during infertile phases she still needs to combat disease, prepare her vagina for intercourse and adjust her cervical filter. She also still needs to confuse her partner (Scenes 23 and 26).
Masturbation is not the only way a woman can combat disease and prepare for her next insemination via orgasm. There is another way, not as common as masturbation, but experienced by a number of women. This source of orgasms is the subject of Scene 23.
SCENE 23
Dark Secret
The purple haze hanging in the air seemed quite natural, as the woman walked around the supermarket. She was alone. Ahead of her, stretching for miles into the distance, the meat aisle was completely empty of people. She went slowly past the beef, then even more slowly past the chicken, idly wondering what to cook that evening. Just beyond the bacon she stopped by a big display of grinning pigs’ heads. This section was refrigerated and should be ice cold. So why was she so hot?
For a while she stood with her legs apart, trying to let cool air reach her hot, tingling groin. No sooner had she thought of taking off her knickers than it was done, and they were hanging over the front of her trolley. An attractive woman in shop assistant’s uniform suddenly appeared in front of her. Picking the underwear off the trolley, the assistant held them in the air.
‘Why did you take these out of their pack?’ she asked.
‘I didn’t, they’re mine. I was hot, so I took them off.’
The assistant looked at the knickers, then pressed them to her face. ‘Mmm, I like the smell,’ she said, her beautiful eyes peering at the woman over the flimsy garment which she still held over her nose and mouth.
‘If they’re yours, you won’t be wearing anything under that skirt, will you?’ she said. She breathed deeply through the woman’s knickers a few more times, then continued, ‘And you will smell just like this.’ She dropped the knickers. ‘Let me see if they’re yours. Lift your dress and let me smell you.’
The woman refused and backed away. As if from nowhere, a crowd gathered. Standing in a semicircle with the assistant at the front, they began to hem her in. She tried to back away still further, but found herself against a wall. A man in the crowd came forward, pushed himself behind her and pinned her arms so that she couldn’t move. Her heart was beginning to race and she was having difficulty breathing. She tried to speak, but the man put his hand on her throat.
The assistant began to undress, handing first her uniform then, one by one, her other garments to someone in the crowd. Her still beautiful but now demonic gaze never strayed from the woman’s eyes as she gradually revealed more and more of her body. The woman startled and the crowd gasped as she took off the last of her clothes. Her top half was that of a beautiful woman, with perfect breasts. But her bottom half was that of a man – a very excited man.
The naked hermaphrodite stepped towards her. As it did so, the crowd began to chant, ‘Rape her!’ The woman tried to struggle but the man still held her tightly. In one movement, the hermaphrodite tore off the woman’s dress and pressed itself against her – breasts against breasts, penis against groin. The beautiful female face began to kiss her passionately as the crowd’s chants grew louder. The woman tried to struggle, rocking from side to side. Every so often a tiny noise escaped her throat as she tried to scream. She was going to be raped.
After kissing her hard on the lips, the face moved down and began to bite her nipples. More sounds escaped as the woman struggled still harder. Her heart felt as though it was going to jump out of her body. The face left her nipples and began to lick its way over her belly towards her groin. Then, just as it was about to give her oral sex, she climaxed. In the middle of her contractions, she woke up.
As she surfaced from her sleep, the woman briefly registered what had happened. It was a month since she had last climaxed at night. In fact, it was probably a month since she had last climaxed on her own at all. This had been a good one – 9 out of 10, she thought. She looked sideways at her snoring partner, then turned over. As her body made its descent back to normal, she drifted back into sleep.
We have already discussed the ways in which ‘wet dreams’ are important in a man’s battle for reproductive success (Scene 14). Here, we consider whether nocturnal orgasms are equally important for women.
Although all women have sex dreams, not all women have nocturnal orgasms. By the age of twenty, only about 10 per cent have ever experienced a ‘nocturnal’. Some may have their first as late as the age of forty. The majority of women, however, never experience (or at least remember) such an orgasm. Over a lifetime, only about 40 per cent will ever share the experience of the woman in the scene, but for those who do, nocturnal orgasms will be an important part of their sexuality. In fact, for the women who have them, nocturnals usually produce the strongest climaxes of all. Sometimes, though, the momentary waking up ju
st at climax can prevent them from being as satisfying as a masturbatory orgasm can be.
Nocturnal orgasms are nearly always associated with dreams, although these dreams are not always sexual. Even when they are, the sexual element sometimes makes only a last-minute entrance into the dream. Often it seems that the impending orgasm triggers the sex dream, rather than the other way round. In the dream just recounted, the woman was sexually aroused even before she met the shop assistant. The climax was already on its way and the dream was manufactured by her brain simply to accompany her body’s build-up. It is unusual to dream of hermaphrodites. Most often, people dream of situations that reflect their own usual sexual activity, though lesbian scenes for women who have never had a lesbian relationship are relatively common – more common than homosexual scenes for heterosexual men.
Women are not the only female mammals that climax spontaneously in their sleep, though information for other species is scarce. The clearest observations are of female dogs. When bitches on heat are asleep, they occasionally become very agitated, presumably dreaming. On some of these occasions, mucus wets their vaginas and they have rhythmic contractions of their genitals, just like women.
The functions of nocturnal orgasms seem to be identical to those of masturbatory ones. Both types help a woman’s body in its battle against infection. Both prepare her vagina for its next intercourse by depositing lubricant. And both strengthen her cervical filter, as long as there are sperm in her cervical crypts. In fact, no physiological differences can be detected between the two types of orgasm. Not surprisingly, therefore, nocturnals show a link with the menstrual cycle similar to that shown by masturbatory orgasms.
