by Robin Baker
In the same way that female dogs are more likely to have nocturnals when on heat, women are more likely to have nocturnals during, or at least at the beginning of, their fertile phase. The most likely time is about a week before ovulation – precisely when all of the benefits of nocturnal and masturbatory orgasms are greatest. This peak more or less coincides with the timing of the peak urge to masturbate, but is more clear-cut for nocturnals. Women who use the contraceptive pill show no such peak in the menstrual cycle for either type of orgasm. This indicates that nocturnals and the urge to masturbate are largely under hormonal control.
A consequence of this link between ovulation and the timing of nocturnals and masturbation is that these two types of orgasm have a seasonal peak. As we have already seen, because women are more likely to ovulate in some months of the year than others, humans are more likely to be born in some months than others (Scene 15). As nocturnals and masturbation are more likely to occur in the week or so before a woman ovulates, they also are both more likely to occur in some months than others. For example, in Britain there are peaks of birth in February/ March and September, peaks of ovulation in May/June and December, and peaks of nocturnals and masturbation in April/ May and again in November. And as in the menstrual cycle, the peaks are more pronounced for nocturnals than for masturbation.
Although there are no major physiological differences in the function of nocturnal and masturbatory orgasms, there are some minor strategic differences. Most of these derive from the relative ease with which a woman can keep the two types of orgasm a secret from her partner.
In Scene 14 we concluded that the number of wet dreams decreases as a male ages and obtains a partner, because wet dreams are more difficult to hide from a partner than masturbation. The opposite is probably true for women – nocturnals are less difficult to hide from a partner than masturbation. In Scene 23, the woman’s partner was asleep when she climaxed. But even if he had been awake, he still could not have been certain that she was having an orgasm rather than simply dreaming. In contrast, he could scarcely have misinterpreted her intentions had he caught her with her hand between her legs and a banana in her vagina!
It is probably because nocturnals are more cryptic than masturbation that they are also more closely linked to the menstrual cycle. Given that both types of orgasm are advantageous if they occur at the beginning of the fertile phase, nocturnals are probably the better option – being less likely to betray the woman’s fertile phase to her partner. It is probably also because nocturnals are cryptic that women, unlike men, are more likely to have them as they age and obtain a partner, not less.
Many women have both types of orgasm, but differ in whether they have more masturbatory orgasms than nocturnals or vice versa. Although the triggers and urges for both types are to a large extent under hormonal control, they are also influenced by external situations – one of which is potential infidelity (Scenes 6 and 17), as we shall soon discuss (Scene 26). Together, the two types of orgasm help a woman’s body to give an advantage to the man it would most like to win sperm warfare. Her body’s potential to influence that warfare, however, does not end with masturbation and nocturnals.
When she is next inseminated, a woman still has a variety of options. Everything now depends on whether she has an orgasm during intercourse (Scenes 24 and 25).
SCENE 24
Another Successful Failure
‘Did you come?’ the man asked, panting, as, propped on his arms, he held himself above her body.
‘Nearly,’ she replied, kindly. ‘I thought I was going to, but then it just went and I couldn’t get it back.’
The man slowly withdrew, then more or less collapsed by her side. ‘I thought you did, just before I came,’ he panted, his intonation a mixture of disappointment and irritation.
‘No, not really. But I did enjoy it. It was nice to feel so close.’
The couple relaxed in their usual post-coital embrace and sank back into their own thoughts. He couldn’t see what the problem was. This time, he had really gone for it. He had taken his time over foreplay and there was no doubt that she had become excited. Maybe she wasn’t as wet as she could have been, but she was flushed. A few more seconds playing with her clitoris and she would have come, he knew she would. It had been putting in his penis that had stopped her. As he had climbed on top and pushed himself in, she had visibly lost interest – her excitement level had immediately dropped about twenty notches. Even then, he had done his best to get her back. He had thrust as long and as considerately as he could – not too hard, not too slow. He had delayed as long as he could. Really, though, he had known they weren’t getting anywhere. He could sense that she was becoming bored and impatient rather than excited. In the end, he had given up and just concentrated on making himself ejaculate. It was wishful thinking rather than a lack of awareness that had made him suggest she had come just before he ejaculated. Or had he been giving her an opportunity to lie?
As far as he could see, it had to be his partner who had the problem. A year or so ago he had had a brief affair with a younger girl. She had come nearly every time. As long as he had given her a bit of foreplay and as long as he didn’t ejaculate too quickly, she would come. It was as easy as that. His partner, however, rarely came while he was inside her. Once or twice a month, perhaps – if he was lucky. But, try as he might, he had totally failed to find any magic formula. Last time they had had sex, a week ago, just before her period, she had come. And he had done exactly what he had done tonight. He had got her excited during foreplay, almost to the point of coming, entered her quickly, thrust a few times, and she had come. Tonight, it had failed. Yet, sometimes, he could virtually miss out foreplay altogether, and she would come. At other times, if he tried to bypass foreplay, she would complain.
The woman lay on her side with her back to her partner, feeling disappointed. She hadn’t really expected him to want sex tonight and now she wished he hadn’t. As much as anything, she felt let down by the way, having made the overtures, he had misjudged what she wanted. There were times when she really wanted a penis inside her and wasn’t particularly bothered about having an orgasm. And there were times when she really wanted both. Tonight, what she had really wanted was an orgasm. Surely he could have sensed that? She would have been quite happy to have intercourse as well, but what she really wanted was climax and relief – and she had been so nearly there. A few more seconds of foreplay and she would have come. Why couldn’t he have waited just that bit longer before entering her? If he had just been considerate enough to concentrate on her until she had come, she would have been quite happy to have him inside her. But no, all he had wanted was to feel himself inside her, with no thought for her at all. She knew the second he stopped stimulating her and began to move into position that she would lose it. And by the time his penis had started to go in, she had. That fragile focus on her own sensations, which she needed if she was to climax, had simply evaporated. All excitement had gone and his interminable thrusting had killed it stone-dead.
She envied the women, and she was sure there were many, who needed only a few thrusts of a penis inside them to send them into multiple screaming, clawing climaxes. Sometimes she found herself looking at women in supermarkets, wondering what their climaxes were like. This morning there had been a short, dark-haired, wild-eyed woman in front of her at the check-out. As she had waited patiently for her own turn to pay she had had this image of the woman, naked on a bed, hair streaming about her shoulders, having energetic intercourse and screaming in ecstasy. For her, though, intercourse was almost always a disappointment. If she did climax during intercourse itself, which happened once a month if she was lucky, it was always a fairly tame affair; nowhere near as powerful as those during foreplay or those she gave herself.
The truth was, she wasn’t particularly bothered about trying to come during intercourse. If it happened, it was a mildly pleasant bonus, but not really worth agonising and making a big effort over. Especially as most
attempts were doomed to failure and mild recrimination. She would much prefer her partner to give her an orgasm when she felt like it, then satisfy himself inside her. What she needed was a partner who was sensitive enough to her needs to be able to judge what she wanted and when she wanted it. Should she really have to tell him every time? The man next to her really wasn’t measuring up too well at the moment.
Women differ considerably in their response to intercourse. Some nearly always climax during intercourse; some never do. These differences are an important part of the overall picture of human sexuality, and we shall explore them in Scene 36. Taking women as a whole, it is more common to fail to climax with a penis in the vagina than to succeed. On average, only just over 60 per cent of routine sex episodes (from the beginning of foreplay to ejection of the flowback) involve the woman having an orgasm. Even when they do, she usually climaxes during foreplay (35 per cent) or post-play (15 per cent), not during intercourse itself. In fact, only 10-20 per cent of routine sex episodes involve the average woman climaxing while the penis is in her vagina.
There are several elements of interest in the scene we have just witnessed. The man’s confusion is one, particularly his confusion over why an approach that stimulates his partner to orgasm on one occasion fails miserably on the next. Another is his observation that during his affair, his lover climaxed during intercourse much more easily than his partner. Yet another is why the man would have preferred his partner to climax during intercourse, not during foreplay. But these elements are the subjects of later scenes; for the moment, the main issue is the common lack of female climax during intercourse. Does it reflect some sort of failure? Or is it instead a successful part of a woman’s subconscious strategy – yet another aspect of sexuality that actually increases her reproductive success?
When foreplay first begins, a woman’s body will have carried out at least some advance preparation. The nature of this preparation has just been discussed (Scenes 22 and 23) in connection with nocturnal and masturbatory orgasms. Having these orgasms prepares her cervical filter in one way; not having them prepares it another way. Whichever option her body has taken, we know that she will settle down to intercourse with a certain level of protection against disease, a certain level of vaginal lubricant, a certain strength of cervical filter, and a certain population from nought to millions of sperm in her oviducts, womb and cervical crypts. If she has anticipated her situation correctly, these different levels will mean the state of her cervical filter is as ideal as possible, and she will get maximum benefit from the intercourse that is about to begin. Precisely what state of cervical filter is ideal varies according to her circumstances.
For example, the ideal filter will vary according to the stage of her menstrual cycle (Scenes 22 and 23). It will also vary according to whether or not she is contemplating infidelity (Scene 26). The ideal filter is different yet again if she is about to be inseminated by a man who is not her regular partner. In particular, it differs according to whether she wants the inseminator to have an advantage or disadvantage in any sperm war that might be about to take place (Scene 26). No matter what the ideal cervical filter may be for any given woman in any given circumstance, though, the general principle we are about to discuss remains the same. So in order to illustrate this principle, let’s concentrate on the woman in Scene 24.
This woman had just finished menstruating. Ovulation (if it was going to occur this cycle – Scene 15) was therefore between seven and twenty days away, and the intercourse that had just finished would not make her pregnant. Nevertheless, the sperm from this intercourse could influence sperm retention at her next intercourse, which in its turn could make her pregnant (Scene 7). As far as we know, infidelity during her next fertile phase was unlikely – but, as always, was not impossible. So even though this current intercourse was during her infertile phase, it was important to her to retain an optimum number of sperm – for all she knew these sperm might suddenly, albeit indirectly, play a role in influencing the paternity of her next child.
Given her situation, all the woman needed from her intercourse was a small number of young sperm to store in her cervical crypts (Scene 4). Having such a reservoir would give her maximum flexibility over the next few days. When, sometime during those next few days, her body decided what cervical filter would be ideal for her next anticipated insemination, she would have all the raw materials necessary. (Without sperm in her cervical crypts, her options would be much more limited (Scene 22).) Moreover, the younger the sperm she could collect now, the longer her flexibility of choice would last. Of course, at the same time as collecting the sperm which would give her this flexibility, she needed as always to minimise the risk of disease.
Before intercourse, her cervical filter was strong because of the presence of menstrual debris (Scene 3). Most of the sperm from her last intercourse, a week earlier, had been carried from her body by her menstrual flow. A few infertile sperm might still have been in her oviducts and a few of her cervical crypts might still have contained a number of, albeit fairly geriatric, sperm. Although this set-up constituted an adequate filter, it would benefit from some ‘tidying-up’. It is at this stage of the menstrual cycle that many women would either masturbate or have a nocturnal orgasm (Scenes 22 and 23), thereby helping to rid their cervical mucus of the last of the menstrual debris, top up their vaginal lubricant, and empty their cervical crypts of geriatric sperm. Such an orgasm would facilitate lubrication at their next intercourse. It would also, on balance, slightly strengthen their cervical filter – in particular, it would give them extra protection against invasion by any disease organisms carried in the next inseminate. But it would also minimise their retention of sperm, particularly old, less motile ones.
The woman in Scene 24 might have been due for a nocturnal, perhaps even later on in the night in question. If she had had one, it would have produced the ideal cervical filter for her circumstances. But an unexpected intercourse intervened before this could happen, and when her partner initiated foreplay, her cervical filter was not ideal for the inseminate she was about to receive. She could, of course, have resisted his sexual overtures and waited until her body had prepared her cervical filter properly. However, she did have another option, and this was the one she pursued. Having failed to prepare for this unexpected intercourse by having a nocturnal or masturbatory orgasm, her body instead tried to engineer an orgasm during foreplay.
A ‘foreplay orgasm’ performs all of the functions of a nocturnal or masturbatory orgasm, and for the woman in Scene 24 would have been a perfectly adequate last-minute substitute. The problem she faced in pursuing this option was that her strategy required cooperation from her partner. In part she needed him to provide stimulation. More importantly, she also needed him to give her time to climax. But he did not.
We shall discuss why he did not in Scene 25. The simple answer, is that he would benefit most from his partner climaxing during intercourse, not during foreplay. On this occasion, male and female interests were not mutual. This is often the case, which means that a woman cannot always rely on a man’s cooperation when her body opts to have an orgasm during foreplay. The woman in Scene 24 nearly managed to engineer the foreplay orgasm her body needed to create the ideal scenario for insemination, but just failed. Having failed, her next best response was not to climax at all. And that is what happened.
When a woman has no orgasm during intercourse, then the number and types of sperm she retains are dictated by the cervical filter in place before the intercourse began (as is her resistance to invasion by disease organisms). If her body has anticipated events correctly, this filter will be just right to retain the best number and types of sperm for the next few days of her reproductive life. By not having an orgasm during intercourse, therefore, a woman’s body is in effect saying: ‘Don’t change a thing. The situation in your cervix is as good as it can be. Just let him inseminate you and your cervical filter will do the rest.’
In the scene, the situation in t
he woman’s cervix was not ideal when her partner ejaculated. When her best strategy was thwarted, her body, by avoiding an orgasm during intercourse, did the next best thing. Her failure to climax represented a success. (Precisely why will be made clear in the next scene.) We are about to watch the couple for just a little longer.
SCENE 25
Correcting Mistakes
They both found it difficult to relax. Their post-coital sleep was fitful, and after thirty minutes or so both were wide awake again. Suddenly, for no obvious reason, the man’s penis began to stir and within minutes it was hard against his partner’s back. There was no mistaking this feeling in his loins. He wanted sex again.
The woman had felt his penis rise and then harden, and wondered whether he would make any overtures. She found herself hoping he would, assuming her interest was because she had failed to climax during their recent foreplay. To her surprise, however, she realised that what she really felt like was having his penis inside her again. So clear were her feelings that when her partner hesitantly put his hand between her buttocks to stroke her genitals, she forestalled him by turning over to face him. After they had kissed a few times, she gently took hold of his penis and guided it into position so that he would be in no doubt as to what she wanted him to do.
As he slipped in, she was so wet from their previous intercourse he felt almost as if he wasn’t touching the sides. When he first began his slow thrusting, it got worse. There was hardly any sensation on his penis except wetness. He was a long way from ejaculation.
