Damaged & Off Limits Books 5--6

by C. C. Piper

  “Never have I ever done any of that.”

  Still smiling, I asked, “Any of what?”

  “What we just did, goofy. I’m a virgin, but I think I just took several steps up the experience ladder.”

  I felt the muscles in my face go slack, draining the smile right off it. Alaina’s hazel eyes were clear and honest, her expression sated and unconcerned. Yet, I felt… I didn’t know what I felt. Stunned. Bewildered. Worried.

  “But you had a boyfriend for two years.”

  “Yes. But I wouldn’t allow him to do much past kissing and a little…well, fondling. Nothing like what you and I just did to each other, though.”

  I knew that Alaina hated her ex – I hated him, too, for hurting her – but I couldn’t seem to accept what she was telling me. “Okay, let me get this straight. You spent all that time with whatever his name is-”

  “Auggie,” she supplied.

  “Yeah. Yet you two never engaged in…more?”

  “No.”

  “I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything, Alaina, but unless a dude’s a monk or priest or something, it’s difficult to picture him waiting like that.”

  She grimaced. “As you might recall, he didn’t wait.”

  “Right.”

  “I mean, hindsight is twenty-twenty and all that, and I was so upset when I first got back here. But now, I’m glad everything rippled out the way it did. He wasn’t loyal or faithful to me, and if I married him, I’m sure he would’ve cheated on me constantly. I feel like I dodged this gigantic bullet.”

  “I get all that,” I said, in absolute agreement with that part. “What I don’t get is why you’re willing to go so far with me.” What if I’d deflowered her and hadn’t been made aware of it until after the fact? Shouldn’t such a crucial fact be given full disclosure? Bestowing your virginity on someone was a big deal for a woman, wasn’t it?

  I watched her complexion become a bright shade of pink, which was pretty ironic considering what we’d done to one another not fifteen minutes ago.

  “I…I thought you knew.”

  “Knew what?”

  “Well,” her skin darkened even more. “Back when I was in high school, I had this crush on you.” Did she? I hadn’t realized it. Though I did remember her blushing a lot, kind of like she was now. “That was a long time ago, of course. But since our weird blind date, I kept thinking about you. There for a while we were interacting all the time.”

  Until I quit showing up at her house.

  “I feel like there’s something magnetic between us,” she explained, grabbing my cheek and swiping her thumb against my scruff. “Something special. You’ve joked around with me and been there for me, and I don’t know. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I trust you. And I like you. And I’d like to do more of what we just did together.”

  Her words made my heart do a somersault in my chest. I wanted to be with her so much, especially now, and discovering she felt the same way lit me up. But we had some barriers in our path that others didn’t have.

  “I like you, too,” I said. Way too much. “But as much as I’d love a repeat – or a bunch of repeats – of you on my desk, I doubt Andy or your father would condone such a thing. That’s why I haven’t been over to your place much lately. I want you, and I have a hard time not showing it.” Often, it was a literal hard time.

  Alaina nodded, even as she frowned. “You’re right. They love you, but they’re overprotective of me.” She still had her hand on my cheek, so I grabbed a hold of it and kissed her palm. The tender look she gave me for that one tiny gesture made me feel something I hadn’t since before I lost Sophia. But Alaina and I weren’t ready for that. And neither were Bryant or my best friend. Then, as I watched, her head tilted to the side as if contemplating something. “But they don’t have to know.”

  “What?”

  “Andy and Daddy. They don’t have to know what’s going on between us. It’s none of their business anyway, really.”

  “So you’re saying you want to continue this, but more…covertly?”

  “Why not? You’re always going to be a part of our family, Mason. But this thing between you and me… We’re still figuring it out. We can date and see where this goes without them being privy to it. Then, if it doesn’t work out, we’ll just go back to being friends.”

  I didn’t mention what might happen if we did work out. I didn’t want to jinx things, but I also didn’t know the answer. But maybe this was safer, not only where her family was concerned but overall. I couldn’t get what had happened to my other loved ones out of my head. And keeping this thing going without labeling it meant I might be able to keep it casual. Just a fun meeting of the minds – and bodies.

  No scary stuff required.

  11

  Alaina

  Maybe this was wrong of me but thinking about sneaking around with Mason was like an aphrodisiac. My life had lacked excitement for so long and making these secret arrangements to meet up with him felt as if I was some kind of spy. To placate Mom – and to spend more time with me – Mason came back to our family dinners. This gave us the opportunity to steal kisses when my family’s backs were turned, and to wink at each other when no one else was looking.

  It was dangerous, reckless.

  It was such a blast.

  Granted, our timing could’ve been better. Thanksgiving Day had been extraordinarily awkward. I kept remembering what Mason had done to me the day before, and every single time I felt like there was a spotlight on me. Look at Alaina. She had a crazy sexual experience with Mason yesterday. I was sure one of the members of my family would be able to read what had happened right off my face.

  I’d never been so glad when Thanksgiving was over in my life.

  Christmas and New Years had passed, and now January was nearly over. And somewhere along the way, I stopped feeling like the unwilling center of attention and started to delight in the thrill of it all.

  I felt like I was experiencing a phase of life that most girls went through during high school, the whole climbing out the window to meet the boyfriend thing. Not that Mason was my boyfriend, but the rules still applied. Every time we pulled off another clandestine meeting under my family’s noses gave me such a rush of adrenaline. It felt like being intoxicated without any of the nasty aftereffects.

  For two months now, we’d been carrying on like this. I’d come by his office to “work” with him on the legal documents for my business. A business that didn’t exist except for a few scraps of leather, some sketches, and my imagination. Well, and the documents Mason had drafted for me. That part was legit.

  We had some exceedingly memorable moments there at that law firm, but while we lavished open-mouthed kisses all over each other and offered a great deal of pleasure to one another, Mason never breached that last boundary of mine.

  I didn’t know why. Was it about preserving my virtue? Was he keeping the threat of pregnancy out of the equation? Or was it because this was an enjoyable little experiment and nothing more?

  Supposedly.

  For the longest time, it felt like fun and games. We sexted back and forth daily. We sent dirty pictures and jokes to each other. It was like one continuous flirting session, and I reveled in the feeling of finding joy and satisfaction so frequently. I could’ve added a fresh entry in the Never Have I Ever category, even if I had to change the wording a bit.

  Never had I ever felt so fantastically carefree.

  The main drawback to this kind of “friends with benefits” arrangement was that we didn’t get to do everything we wanted to. While I was more than willing to offer Mason my virginity, there was no time for anything but speedy races to the finish line. The way we tormented and teased one another served as a more than efficient form of foreplay, but there was no cuddling after. And I wanted that so desperately.

  There was no going over to his townhouse and sleeping all night in his bed, nor could he come over and sleep in mine. My family surrounded both our homes
, making overnight hookups in either location impossible. As time passed, this began to bother me more and more.

  I didn’t know if it was the change from our damp Pacific Northwest autumn to cold winter or what, but I craved having his body next to mine. I would dream that his broad muscular frame was tucked in warmly beside me only to wake up to the bitter reality that he wasn’t there.

  So a few weeks into this lovely arrangement, our romps had started to feel a little less gleeful and more like something must have been lacking. Not that Mason wasn’t a caring and tender lover. He was. He so was. In his arms I felt more alive than I ever had, and I had our naughty antics to thank for it.

  Yet, I hadn’t truly seen him naked. This byproduct came as the result of our get-togethers. Typically, we shared a frenzy of touching, kissing, licking and sucking. Then, to avoid detection, it would be over. We never ever stripped off all our clothing because of the risk that posed.

  We had this narrow window of time, no more than thirty minutes to an hour, after the day staff left and the night cleaning crew came in. So our opportunities remained limited. I took to perpetually wearing dresses and skirts due to the convenience factor. While I’d been given the exquisite delight of seeing and tasting one particular part of his masculinity – my favorite part, to be sure – most of him remained a mystery.

  And what drove me so up the wall about this was that I knew he must look incredible under those suits of his. During our make-outs, I would feel the ropey muscles of his arms, and the wide expanse of his strong back. I could see the cords of his neck and feel the outlines of defined pecs and abdominals. But I hadn’t witnessed him in all his bare glory, and this frustrated me.

  Mainly because the more time I spent with him, the more it hurt to break away.

  I told him this one February night, the night after Valentine’s Day, in fact. I’d been feeling bummed because we hadn’t gone out for the holiday. Such an outing was impossible, and I knew that. It would’ve meant tempting fate, but I couldn’t stop the disappointment that’d settled over me all the same.

  All Mason knew when I’d dashed into his office was that I was down, so he’d grinned mischievously, grabbed my hand, and led me to the single stall restroom on the bottom floor of the law firm. We’d just climaxed together on the vanity – it had been the perfect height for his oral um…inspection of me as I stroked him to completion with my hand – when I finally spoke what was in my heart.

  “I want more,” I panted as he lovingly but briskly straightened my clothing before zipping up his pants.

  He glanced at his watch and aimed a wolfish grin in my direction.

  “We only have five minutes before Delores and her scrubbing minions show up, B.C.. But if you’re up for the quickest of secondary quickies, I’m game.” B.C. was his abbreviation of my nickname buttercup. I’d told him I wasn’t too keen on him calling me what Andy did, so he shortened it. And I couldn’t say why exactly, but I found him whispering “B.C.” as I had my mouth around him to be quite the turn-on.

  I seized his lapels and planted my forehead against the silk tie on his chest. “That’s not what I mean. I want to have more than just a few stolen minutes here and there. I want to take our time and be on an actual mattress. I want to lay around afterwards and either do it again or just talk while you hold me. I want to connect in a way that requires a condom.”

  I’d spoken all this to his sternum because it was difficult to say. He might have been intimately familiar with the space between my legs but what I was asking had more to do with my heart. I was exposing myself in an entirely different fashion. I didn’t look up at him, and when he hesitated, my hopes sunk to the ground. He was going to reject the idea out of hand even though I’d just placed my soul at his feet.

  “God, I want that, too, B.C. So much,” he said, nuzzling my temple, and every part of me soared. Heart, soul, mind and body. I shuddered out a breath, trembling all over with relief. “What if we come up with a strategy to get out of Seattle together?” he suggested. “I bet we can both dream up a legitimate-sounding reason to be gone for a night or two.”

  “Your birthday’s coming up.” I sat up enough to gaze into those chocolate brown eyes of his. “How about then? I’d love to be your present.”

  He embraced me, and everything became right in my world. “I’d love that, too. It’s a date.”

  I had trouble tuning in to my professors all day long. Tonight was the night. The big night. His birthday. And we were going to spend not only this night but the entire weekend broadening our horizons. Since it was Friday, neither of us needed to be anywhere until the following Monday. We were going to Tacoma, Washington, thirty-two miles southwest of here. Our hotel would be right on Puget Sound, overlooking the waters there.

  It was going to be forty-eight hours of sweaty bliss.

  We each had a cover story. I would be flying down to Pasadena to the CSULB BFA Graphic Design show, which was an actual conference being held this weekend. It featured over ninety speakers who would discuss various aspects of design, and if I hadn’t been planning to be with Mason instead, I would’ve liked to go for real.

  Mason was supposedly due to speak to Stanford University Law students about intellectual property rights, which was one of the things he was helping me with. Again, the conference was authentic, but he wouldn’t be there. It felt yucky to trick my family, but it felt even yuckier to not be together. Mason and I needed this. We needed some time where we could enjoy one another’s company without fear of being discovered.

  My classes went by with the speed of refrigerated molasses. No, forget refrigerated, the stuff was a freaking molasses popsicle. At one point I stared up at the round clock sitting above my professor’s whiteboard and I could swear that the hands didn’t move for a solid hour. When the end of my classes finally came, I glanced at my reflection as I trotted by some reflective windows looking for gray hair. At last, my life-altering weekend was here.

  I’d put everything in place for Tacoma. I’d made reservations at a five-star lodge. The location was both rustic and opulent and had glorious views of Puget Sound. It reminded me of an upscale cabin, and since Mason had spent several childhood vacations in such locales, I thought this might prove to be just the ticket.

  Not that I personally cared one way or the other. I was more consumed with the bed than anything else.

  While in London, I’d learned to be more frugal than not, and since I didn’t want to depend on my parents’ money in the future, I used my own personal credit card for the venture – one I’d applied for. I still had the card my dad had given me back when I was a teenager, but he had access to the bills. The last thing I needed was for my dad or our family’s accountant to call me up and ask where these charges in Tacoma came from.

  I’d chosen a package for our stay that would mean chilled champagne would be awaiting us once we arrived, along with a selection of veggies, fruits, and finger sandwiches. At the moment, my stomach was too jumpy to be hungry. I would encourage Mason to unwrap his present, which would then hopefully make him respond so enthusiastically that we’d build up an appetite for the food.

  Now, I had to tread carefully. Once I made it back to my family’s estate, I packed up all the necessary supplies for a trip to a design conference. It was imperative that nothing seem awry or the least bit off, but my hands had chosen this less-than-opportune time to shake. I was full of anticipation but also anxiety. I’d hate to get this far only for everything to fall to pieces at this last, most critical juncture.

  The chef was already in the kitchen which meant whatever she was cooking would need lots of prep time. My dad was still at work, and my mom should have been busy with something on her social calendar. That calendar was usually filled to the brim on Fridays. I was nearly home free when my mother drove her Lexus into the garage beside me.

  Shit.

  “Where are you going, Alaina?” Why did her inquiries of me always sound like accusations?

  “To Pas
adena, remember? I told you a few days ago.” She stared at me blankly. “For the design conference? I’ll learn more about which kind of designs are popular and selling in the fashion world.”

  “Is this about your silly little purse thing?” she asked me, her tone ten percent flippant and ninety percent dismissive.

  My silly little purse thing. That was how she referred to my dream and possible livelihood. Even though I should’ve just backed out and away from her, I didn’t. I was too taken aback by her attitude. Which was ridiculous when I considered it. I was her throwaway child. Her perpetual disappointment no matter how hard I tried. The garage went blurry, and I realized I was on the verge of tears.

  But, no. I wouldn’t allow her to do that to me. Her disregard for me hurt, but I had to pretend it didn’t matter. I closed my eyes in an attempt to shore up my control. I had to let it roll off me like water off a duck’s back. If I kept feeling the barb of every arrow she slung at me, I’d never get anywhere.

  “It’s about the business I’ll be beginning this summer, Mom. The one Mason’s been working with me on.”

  After that final sentence slipped out, I inwardly winced. Would mentioning his name be too much of a giveaway? Did I look guilty right now? Would she ask about what he was up to this weekend? Would she somehow ferret out the truth about us?

  “Oh, that’s right. Your brother mentioned something about that. Mason’s so generous to do that for you.”

  Maybe I should’ve been annoyed that she was so willing to heap praise on everyone but me, but I saw this as my chance to escape. And escape, I did.

  “Gotta go, Mom. Don’t want to miss my plane.” I gunned the engine as she opened her mouth, purposely obliterating whatever response she was making.

  And then, thank the Lord, I was out of there.

  12