Faithless Dreams

by C. R. Jane

  “Wow girl...where did you go just then? And I noticed that you didn’t deny that you’re good in bed,” she says with a wink.

  I laugh, and it’s a real laugh that feels amazing. I give her a watery smile as my laugh turns a bit teary. “I’ve missed you,” I say, immediately regretting the words the second that they come out of my mouth.

  She looks confused. “I thought you said that we were best friends?”

  “We’ve had a rough patch lately. We have a shared history too.”

  “I knew it. You were really my girlfriend, weren’t you? I always knew that I would have a hot girlfriend if I swung that way.”

  I just stare at her. “ No, Lexi. I was not your girlfriend.”

  She looks disappointed. “Guess I won’t be able to check that off my list,” she says distractedly, as if she was actually going through her list right that minute. She stuffs a bite of chicken in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

  “We need to come up with a plan. How are we going to get you some alone time with those boys? You’ve got the looks, and assuming you aren’t a psycho crazy with this story...I’m sure you have the personality too. We just need time.”

  I love her use of “we.” It was so much better than the thought of doing this all alone.

  “Maybe I can get Selena to break her leg during cheerleading practice this week,” she muses, a diabolical twinkle in her eye. “Of course, that could just lead to her needing Damon to help her out every second, so that won’t work.”

  Cheerleading practice. Just another thing that I would lose out on in this new world of mine. I guess I could always try out again, but seeing Damon meet up with Selena after practice would probably be too much for me. I would probably drop her during practice and end up killing her.

  I should probably try to not do that.

  “I lost you again,” Lexi says impatiently, throwing her chopsticks wildly as she talks, pelting me with grains of oily rice.

  I pick one off my face. “Do you have any ideas? Mason is currently touring in Europe, Beckham is busy shooting a movie here this next week, and Damon is shacking up with Selena. There’s not a lot to work with.”

  “I’ll cover the Beckham part of the plan and you work on Damon. Try to get him alone as much as possible. Hopefully something will happen with Mason to give you an in.”

  “Okay,” I answer, feeling resolute. I will get them back if it’s the last thing I do.

  "What did he do to you today?" Tristan asks in a pained voice. He’s desperate to help me. He looks at me as if I’m the only thing that exists in this world, the only possible destination for his heart. It’s a heady feeling, having the person you actually care about feel that way about you.

  The door opens and Aiden strides in, ignoring Tristan’s presence and coming to sit next to me at the table where we are about to eat dinner.

  There was tension practically steaming from him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tristan fade into the shadows where the servants were supposed to stand.

  Despite my feelings for Tristan, I hated to see Aiden upset. He was all I had ever known, and I would always feel a sense of obligation to him as he was basically the Master of my creation.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked hesitantly, touching his hand. My touch seemed to soothe him. Instantly his shoulders relaxed and the tension on his face faded a bit. He grabbed my hand so that he was holding it with both of his hands as if it was his lifeline.

  “You would fight to stay with me, wouldn’t you?” he asks, coming so close to me that our noses are practically touching.

  “Fight to stay with you?” I asked, not understanding his question.

  “There could come a time where you would have to go somewhere else, be someone else temporarily. Would you go willingly, or would you want to stay with me?”

  It’s an intriguing question. There was a time that I would have wanted to stay with Aiden, but now...the only person I want to stay with is Tristan. I would follow him anywhere.

  “Eva,” barked Aiden impatiently. And I realized that I’d taken too long to answer.

  “Of course,” I stuttered out. My hand is bound so tightly in his hands that I’m afraid he’s going to break it.

  My answer seemed to satisfy him, even if it sounded disingenuous to me. “Creature,” Aiden suddenly barked. Tristan melted out of the shadows and strode towards us. I can’t help but admire how beautiful he is as he walks towards us in the flickering candlelight.

  “Yes,” Tristan says calmly.

  Aiden glares at him. “Aren’t you missing something in that answer,” he asked coldly.

  A vein in Tristan’s forehead twitches. I can see him struggling to give Aiden what he wants.

  “I’m waiting,” Aiden said, sitting back in his chair and pulling my arm towards him. He starts to slowly lay kisses up my arm. Tristan’s eyes are locked on my arm and now it’s not just his forehead that is tense. His whole body is radiating tension and I can see that his hands are shaking with the effort of holding himself back.

  Tristan’s eyes flick to me. He’s hurt and angry and miserable watching this scene play out. I’m at a loss at what to do. Aiden had been becoming progressively shorter-tempered over the last few weeks. I had seen him slice off a servant’s head just for bringing him too hot of coffee. I would go mad if a similar fate happened to Tristan.

  I cast him a pleading glance.

  He took a deep breath and gave a small bow. “My apologies, my Master,” he said. “Can I begin to bring dinner in for you?”

  Aiden seemed annoyed that Tristan caved in to him. It seemed he wanted a toy to play with this evening.

  “Hurry up,” he ordered Tristan and I watched as Tristan trotted to the doors that led to the kitchen.

  “See something you like, darling?” Aiden asked in a menacing voice. My stomach dropped. I’ve spent too much time looking at Tristan and Aiden spends too much time looking at me.

  “Of course not,” I try to say snootily. “I was just wondering why he didn’t address you correctly in the first place.”

  Aiden seems to like that answer even if I feel sick saying it. I wonder if he expects me to act like that because of the effects of the snake’s venom.

  Tristan appears a moment later, leading a small line of servants who are all laden with tonight’s meal.

  I know that Aiden could snap his fingers and food could just appear on the table, but he seems to find delight in people serving him.

  It’s funny all the little things that I had been noticing about Aiden lately, all the little licks of cruelty that made up his personality.

  My thoughts are interrupted when a servant appears through another door. “The Goddess is here,” says the servant anxiously, wringing his hands as he probably wonders how Aiden will react.

  Aiden’s face curls up in a snarl. “Bring her in,” he says reluctantly.

  I’m surprised at his malfeasance towards her. He had never seemed like that towards her before.

  A minute later she walked in, the whole room brightening with her shiny countenance.

  “Oh good, you’re eating. I’m starving,” she says with a laugh that sounds like wind chimes. She sits down before anyone can invite her to join us.

  The servants resumed placing dishes on the table that’s much too big for three people.

  The Goddess coolly assesses both of us. There’s a strange glimmer in her eye as she turns her attention towards me.

  I feel like wilting under her stare. She goes out of her way to ignore me. Having the full weight of her attention now has me out of sorts. I can see Tristan on alert nearby as he places a roasted chicken down on the table.

  “So, Eva, are you looking forward to your upcoming adventure?” she asks casually.

  Aiden stiffens in his chair next to me. “Watch yourself,” he spits at her.

  She calmly grabs a roll and begins to fill her plate with the different dishes.

  “I know Aiden is dreading it, but I’m sure he wi
ll be fine without you for a thousand years or so,” she says with a giggle.

  I drop my fork onto my plate. The clatter echoes around the room.

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I answer, looking worriedly over at Aiden who is practically vibrating next to me.

  “I said to shut up,” he says to her, the menace in his voice undeniable.

  She looks at him chastisingly. “You can’t just spring it on the poor girl. She needs to start preparing herself.”

  I look over at Aiden. “What is she talking about?”

  He doesn’t answer me, just continues with the war the two of them seem to be waging silently between them.

  She opens her mouth to say something and Aiden all of a sudden throws his knife right at her throat. She barely stops it in time.

  Her eyes are shocked, and the room is filled with tearful gasps at Aiden’s action.

  “Don’t make me warn you again,” he says, leaning towards her over the table.

  She stands up, grasping the knife in her hand like she wants to throw it back at him. After a few deep breaths however, she looks as unruffled as ever. “You can’t keep this from her, Aiden. A promise was made, and I will make sure that it is kept.”

  “You do that,” he said darkly. A dark cloud seemed to descend over the room as the Goddess raced out.

  I reached out to touch Aiden’s shoulder. “What...” I begin, when suddenly he backhands me, sending me tumbling out of my chair.

  "I didn’t give you permission to talk,” he snarls at me before striding out of the room without a look back to where he’s left me shaking on the floor.

  Tristan is at my side in a second, his face torn with indecision about whether to race after Aiden or to take care of me.

  I’m so embarrassed about what just happened. I pulled on his sleeve to get him to stay.

  I stood shakily up and brushed myself off, trying to look dignified. As much as I want to fall into Tristan’s arms, I don’t want to give the servants any quarter to start rumors. I leave the room quickly, not looking back.

  Later that night Tristan slips into my room. Aiden hasn’t come to apologize, and I haven’t left my room, not wanting to run into any of the servants who saw what had happened at dinner.

  He gave me a soft smile as he crawls onto the bed with me. “Did I tell you that you could be in my room?” I snarled at him.

  He sees right through my attitude and doesn’t let it affect him. This is how I go nowadays, striking out irrationally towards him depending on what the day has brought. I’m ashamed of myself. My eyes trail down his naked chest, my fingers itching to touch it. I wanted desperately to know whether his skin felt as perfect as it looked.

  "When it's just us, you don't have to hide. You never have to hide from me," he said gently. He gently stroked the side of my face. His hand was shaking, and I knew he was trying to hold himself back. The last thing we could afford was to get out of control.

  Looking at the gentleness that he possessed, I pondered the difference between Tristan and Aiden. Tristan’s emotions seemed so warm, while Aiden’s seemed so cold.

  “I needed to check on you,” he said softly, brushing a kiss onto my already bruising cheek. How long could I keep up this act that I didn’t care for him. How long could I continue to please Aiden. And what had the Goddess been talking about at dinner?

  “Do you think Aiden’s sending me away?” I asked him. But before Tristan could say a word, he darted a look behind him. His wings shot out and he was back in the shadows before I could take another breath.

  Aiden appeared in the doorway, looking heartbreakingly beautiful. He’s as familiar to me as my own hand, but I find myself cringing against my pillows. Looking at him, I mused at the fact that some of the most beautiful things that existed in the world were also the most dangerous.

  A piece of hair falls into his face, giving him a carefree look that went against the devilish twinkle in his eye. He devoured me with his eyes as he always did. Again, like nothing had happened tonight.

  It had been the first time that he had ever hit me. I couldn’t believe how little he seemed to care.

  "Eva," he said prettily, his mood a complete 360 from his mood at dinner. There was something off about him, something unhinged. Something that felt hazardous.

  "Come darling,” he said, gesturing for me to hurry to him. I hesitated for a brief second and I saw his mouth curl in displeasure. I quickly corrected it by running to his side. He put his arms around me, pulling me flush against his body.

  He ran soft kisses down my back. While usually his affection made me uncomfortable, tonight it was intolerable. What made it worse was that I could feel Tristan’s eyes on me, burning into my back. I could feel the anger and resentment gnawing at him.

  "It's time for one more session, my darling," Aiden said to me. And this time the shiver that went down my spine was one of fear.

  "But I just had one yesterday," I said, the words squeaking out of my mouth before I could hold them back.

  "You’ll do what I say, Eva. Because you’re mine, aren't you?" he snapped.

  There wasn't a day that went by that I was not reminded that my creation had been for him. I seemed to have no other purpose. I wondered if that was what Tristan felt like, if that’s why I felt such a bond to him because we were both the same.

  Nothing.

  Aiden led me down the hallway, into the room where his serpent was kept. I shivered at the sight of the black satin pillow laying on the table. Aiden beamed at the creature reclining on top of the pillow as if it was a puppy instead of the spawn of Satan himself. The snake lifted his head and hissed at us as we walked closer, seemingly delighted to see his food source once again so quickly.

  “It will be all over in a moment,” said Aiden.

  Looking at him, I wondered if it would ever be over.

  Chapter 8

  "You’re five minutes late," Lexi barks at me frantically the next morning when I show up at her door. I give her a quizzical look. This is coming from the girl who’s never been on time for the entire time that I’ve known her. I hadn’t slept well, not with the latest vision. I had woken up with my cheek throbbing...as if I had been hit.

  "We can still make it there on time if we hurry. The notes should tell us exactly where to go,” she says, grabbing a folder off a stack of clothes on her bed.

  "What is this?" I ask, opening the folder to examine its contents.

  "I figured out how to get you some time with Beckham. Evidently, I’m really the best friend ever," she announces proudly.

  "What did you do?" I ask, a flicker of excitement rising up inside of me. One thing about Lexi, she was always doing the unexpected. I never knew what was going to happen or what she was going to say next. It reminded me of how good she had been at hiding secrets from me. Looking at her, I tried to gauge if I could see any kind of secrets in her eyes right now.

  There was nothing there.

  "I kind of feel bad because based on everything you told me about the guys, I knew that Beckham would be the easiest to crack first and I still chose him as my task. There’s obviously some kind of history between the two of you that can’t just be erased. I’m confident that we can get his attention. We just need to try and jog his memory a little."

  I pull out a document entitled “Schedule.”

  I was still confused. "What is this?" I ask.

  “You said that Beckham is shooting a brand-new movie in Brooklyn for the next couple of weeks. I had a friend of a friend of mine who happened to know one of the Producers on set. I gave him a picture of you. And we were set. You my dear, are going to be an extra in Beckham’s movie."

  I look at her, impressed with her brilliance. I haven't come up with a way of trying to speak to Beckham that didn't involve me being dragged away in a police car because everyone thought I was a stalker.

  I had been his stalker lately. I had been scouring gossip sites, trying to see where he had been s
potted. He hadn’t been making it very easy because besides shooting his movie, he hadn’t been doing anything else. I hadn’t even thought it was a possibility to get on set to see him. I had figured they were hard to get on to.

  "You're a goddess," I exclaim. The title stays with me. I look at her as she sits beside me fiddling on her phone, and I wonder if what I said jogged anything in her brain.

  But she doesn’t look any different. She is either an amazing actress, or she really doesn’t remember even the things that she had known before she met me.

  She glances at her watch and gives a little screech. "You're going to be fired before you even start if we don't get you there soon. It will take at least 50 minutes to get to Brooklyn," she says, beginning to push me out the door. I look down at what I’m wearing. Just a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized light purple sweater with some black boots. I wasn't sure it was fancy enough for a movie set, but what did I know? Beckham and I really hadn’t talked much about his job.

  I reflected on why that was? Was I so selfish that conversation only revolves around my life?

  I made a vow that if I got the chance again, I would change that, and make sure that he knew that everything that was important to him, was important to me as well.

  Lexi’s driver Max was waiting outside the school gates for us. Looking between them, I thought I would be able to see a change since they were hooking up now, but Lexi didn’t look any more excited to see him than she usually did.

  I half-heartedly look at him, gauging to see if he would recognize me. I’m not even sure why I’m still trying. He shows no signs of recognition. His eyes slide down my body as if he’s checking me out, but he doesn’t seem to be interested. I was glad for that. I wanted Max and Lexi to end up together. The old Max had been head over heels in love with Lexi. I didn't want that to change in this new reality that had been created. I was still rooting for them.

  I’m quiet as we drive, even while Lexi chatters aimlessly about every topic that pops in her head. Butterflies flit around in my stomach. It’s only been a few days since I last saw him, but it feels like an eternity.