Bang Lords Box Set (4 Book Series includes All Bonus Chapters)

by Dani Stowe

  I immediately turn towards the way we came in because I have every intention of marching right out.

  “Whoa!” cries Jaxon wrapping his arms around me. “This isn’t what you think.”

  Bullshit. “This is exactly what I think! I think you boys are bunch of... bunch of...”

  Oh fuck, I can’t breathe. I feel weak. I’m about to tip over.

  “She’s hyperventilating. Her anxiety is kicking in. She’s about to pass out. Let’s go ahead and lay her on the bed,” stresses Don.

  No! Not the bed!

  Jaxon picks me up and lays me at the center of the mattress then fluffs a pillow under my head. My chest is heaving. I’m beginning to see stars. I’m so weak.

  I am hyperventilating! Stop it, Ursula. Who knows what sacrificial plans these gods have for you!

  Don continues, “Listen to me, Sue. I know what you fear, but no harm is going to come to you in this room. We have, however, already agreed to get aggressive in your treatment, so we need to expose you to a few of your triggers and eventually, perhaps the source of your fear. The closer you get to facing your fear, the closer you’re likely to have a breakthrough, come to terms with it, and then get over it. I’ve given Jaxon the instructions for this exercise so I’m going to leave the two of you to it. If you decide you no longer want to undergo anymore treatment, all you have to do is say so. Just say ‘stop’ and the exercise will come to a halt and all future treatment will cease, at which point you and Jaxon can go on living separate lives. I need for you to reply that you consent and understand the use of the word ‘stop.’”

  My breathing is still rapid but it’s starting to slow. It’s very strange having Jaxon act as a spectator—relatively quiet throughout the line of questioning this morning, and Don, who I’ve quickly come to trust with his doctorial demeanor, is about to hand the reigns over to Jaxon to take charge, which I’m unsure about.

  “Sue, most psychotherapy exercises are about trust,” Don continues, “but in your case, I need you to also ask yourself how bad you want to build something meaningful with Jaxon. He needs to hear you consent so he knows it’s okay to proceed.”

  Jaxon removes his shirt, tossing it to the end of the bed, revealing firm pecks, beautiful biceps, and ripped abs.

  “Okay,” I say—the words just fall out of my mouth.

  “Good,” smiles Don, walking over to the wall and pulling off a pair of handcuffs. He tosses the cuffs plus some rope to Jaxon, who catches them without even looking. “Then, let’s build some trust, shall we?”

  Chapter 12

  Jaxon

  “This is it?” she asks, breaking the deafening silence.

  “This is it,” I confirm, hovering.

  “So, you were just supposed to cuff me with my arms over my head, tie my legs together, and do a plank over me without touching me?”

  “Yep,” I say, shifting my weight. Despite the firm mattress, my knees and back are getting sore and I’m beginning to sweat. I look at the timer on the stand next to the bed.

  Sue lifts her head, attempting a peek at the countdown as well. “How long has it been?”

  “Fifty minutes.”

  “Rrr,” she growls. “Ten more minutes to go.”

  We make eye contact again and a few threads of her hair brush over my thumb. I twiddle it between my fingers.

  “You’re not supposed to touch me,” she scolds.

  I move my elbows and palms farther out. “Sorry. We’re not supposed to talk either.” I glower at her.

  We’re just supposed to look at each other for a whole hour without doing anything else.

  She sighs, her warm breath rises into my mouth. I look at her soft lips. I want to kiss her.

  “What do you think is the point of this exercise?” she asks.

  “Hmm.” My brow raises. “Trust building?”

  “I think it’s more than that.”

  “Oh, do you?”

  “I do.”

  “Tell me smarty pants, what’s the point of this exercise?”

  “To force us to talk even though we’re not supposed to.”

  “Hmm, reverse psychology. It seems to be working then.” I smile and she coyly bats her eyes before looking down her nose.

  I think she’s checking me out.

  “Jaxon,” she mutters, “why do you like me so much? Why are you trying so hard?”

  “How do you mean?”

  “Why are we here—after all this time? How did I end up cuffed and tied in this bed completely vulnerable beneath you? Don’t you think this is all a little silly, needing the help of a sex therapist and we’re not even in a real relationship let alone having sex?”

  “That’s the thing though, Sue. I want to be in a real relationship with you, and—” I pause to capture her gaze and when I do, I stare her straight in the eyes. “I want to have sex with you. I want a do over.”

  Sue looks away again. “That still doesn’t explain why you like me so much.”

  “I don’t know,” I shrug, “because I feel broken every time I think about you. It crushes me more knowing what happened between us years ago has caused you so much heartache. If I had known—” I choke.

  “If you had known what?” she digs.

  “If I had known, I would’ve intervened a lot sooner and not waited until the—” I stop myself.

  “Until the Bang was ready,” she finishes.

  I break a sweat, nodding.

  “So, you thought this drug would help you to get a second chance with me?”

  “Mhm,” I groan in embarrassment.

  “That’s a little strange, don’t you think, Jax? Developing a drug to help someone fall faster in love with you? Have you been in love with me this entire time? That’s a little obsessive, don’t you think? I thought my phobia was a problem, but your issues seem to be just as bad.”

  “Fuck,” escapes my mouth out of embarrassment. I am obsessive and she thinks it’s lame, like I’m still a geek. I come up on my knees and look at the timer. Two more minutes. I look back to Sue. “Are you saying you’re not interested?”

  She laughs, “Of course, I’m interested. I let you cuff me and tie me up. I’m just—” She bites her quivering lip.

  “Scared?”

  “Scared.”

  I fall back down on my elbows to hover over her again, my face in her face. “We’ll go slow then.”

  Her mouth takes a few seconds but the corners finally curls upward, “Okay. Slow. Honestly, Jax, I’m nowhere near ready for intercourse yet.”

  “No, I know you’re not, there’s plenty of other things to start with, so you just tell me to stop if you think we’re about to go too far.”

  I look at the timer and unbutton my jeans, which makes her pant.

  “Right now?” she blurts, her eyes widening. “You want to start right now?”

  She wiggles under me, yanking at the cuffs.

  Fuck I’m so turned on.

  “Yeah, right now.”

  Twenty more seconds.

  “Jax,” she says. She’s breathing like a dog in heat. “I feel like we’re about to go too far.”

  Nine more seconds.

  I lift up her skirt. “Don’t worry, baby girl. I’m not going to go too far, but you are.”

  Chapter 13

  Ursula

  At eighteen years old, I thought Jaxon was going to break me. He gripped my shoulder in the shower to get even deeper and, although I didn’t ask him to stop out of shame he would know I had lied about having had sex before, I did ask him to hurry.

  “I’m almost there,” Jaxon called out and he slammed into my backside even harder.

  With one final thrust, he finally came in me as tears poured out. I didn’t know if I was crying because of the aching in my gut or out of relief that sex was over or that I had lost my virginity.

  But I was relieved when Jaxon pulled out—until he spoke, a quibble in his voice. “Hey Sue, are you on your period?”

  No, I wasn’t! I didn
’t answer. I just turned around and that’s when I saw it—his prick, still long, still hard between tight folds of what was left of a torn condom. He had not only shred through me, but he annihilated our protection as well.

  “Listen,” he said, pulling the condom off like it was no big deal and tossing it into the corner. He kissed my neck again before he turned around to flip up the handles on the wall and rinse himself under the shower head.

  “Nick gave me a wad of cash,” he gurgled. “I’m serious about us being together. I want to take you out to breakfast... and maybe lunch... and dinner. I have an internship I’m leaving for in two days, but I want to spend as much time with you as possible. I’ll try to come back on the weekends to see you. Okay, Sue? I want you to be my girlfriend. Okay?”

  Okay?! For some reason, I was not oh-kay.

  Jaxon kept talking and talking. All I wanted to do was curl up into a ball, which I did after we both got out of the tub. I let him spoon me in my bed, hoping his arms would relieve the gnawing ache in my gut, which it did a little, and we both fell asleep.

  When morning came, his hard prick was at my back and I had to kick him out. I lied to him, mentioning my parents were coming home, so he left saying he would come back to pick me up to take me out to eat.

  I didn’t give him the chance. I called my boyfriend, spent the day with him and when my boyfriend put the moves on me, I freaked and broke up with him. I broke up with boys and men in general after that, though I never really got over Jaxon.

  My first time. My first crush. My first true love. My first pain.

  The timer buzzes and Jaxon climbs over me and off the bed. He fumbles with the timer in an attempt to get it to stop buzzing, which doesn’t quit so he slams it with his fist. He zips down his fly and I look up to the ceiling before I can see him drop his pants.

  “Jax, the exercise is over. What are we doing?”

  “Exposure therapy,” he says, yanking my underwear down to my knees and climbing on top of me. His skin brushes mine as he positions himself to settle heavily, straddled over my thighs. As if I could be any more trapped.

  I keep my eyes closed. “What kind of exposure are we talking about here?”

  I feel a kiss on my belly, then another, and another. With each gentle press, I want more. Jaxon plants kisses at each side of my waist, around my navel, up to the edge of my rib cage, and down my center until he finally kisses the mound of hair above my slit.

  Oh damn! I didn’t shave.

  Jaxon’s makes an attempt to slip his hand between my thighs clamped together. “Loosen up, baby. Your cunt is glistening. I can see it’s wet between the folds.”

  I take a big breath. “You didn’t answer my question, Jax. What kind of exposure are we talking about?”

  “Just enough to get you off. You liked that in the taxi, didn’t you?’

  I did like it. I exhale, loosening my muscles.

  Jaxon digs his hand to cut between my thighs and jerks it up to my center where he glides the edge of his hand up and down between my folds. Oh jeez, I am wet. He smears my wetness with his hand and I get more slick when leans down to dig his tongue between my folds until he finds my clit

  Oh God. Why didn’t we do this our first time?

  A gush of more fluid comes pouring out of me, soaking his hand, and he slips his fingers into me. “Oh baby, you’re so wet.”

  Oh baby, you make me feel so good! I moan. My back uncontrollably arches.

  Jaxon pumps his fingers in me a few times and withdraws himself—everything from his fingers to his tongue are just gone!

  I tilt my head up to peep at him. He’s stroking himself!

  I squeeze my eyes shut and let the back of my head fall to the pillow. Jaxon’s hand covers my mound and he rubs it up and down, like he’s preparing it and I figure I should be scared, but I’m not. He can’t enter me. My legs are bound shut together from my knees down.

  Two fingers spread open my soaked lips and Jaxon blows softly over my clitoris.

  Holy shit. The small area chilled and spread wide open makes me feel so exposed!

  A hard, warm ball of firm pressure covers the space, heating it. The ball moves back and forth, side to side, over my clit and my body trembles with the overwhelming and amazing sensation.

  I open my eyes, tilt my head back up, and see Jaxon, the bulbous head of his cock, stroking my little nub, my little David against his huge Goliath.

  Exposure therapy.

  “Relax, baby,” he says, “I’m not going to fuck you today, just your clit. This doesn’t scare you does it?”

  I shake my head—no.

  “You like it slow like this?’

  I nod my head—yes.

  “I want you to look at me, Sue.”

  I look at him and he quickly pops a pill under his tongue.

  Dirty bastard! He just popped the Bang.

  I close my eyes as I feel something happening...

  Something stirs within me. My breasts feel like they need to come free of my bra while my skin wants to be free of my dress. I even become more aware of my ass, which feels like it needs to be rubbed...

  No, gripped!

  No, spanked!

  I tug at the cuffs, making a clamor. My wrists and my hands are dying to be free of their binds so I can beat Jaxon to a pulp, but not before I face plant him straight between my legs to feed him to my pussy because—oh God! My pussy aches.

  It’s throbbing. It wants to be more than eaten.

  It’s pulsing. It wants to be more than penetrated.

  It’s aching! I think it wants to be pounded but...

  I’m still afraid.

  “What are you afraid of?” asks Jaxon, speeding up the flick of his warm blunt head across my clit.

  I want to say it. I think I know what it is. I also think I’m about to come.

  “Sue,” he yells this time, trying to pull my fear out of me. “What are you afraid of?”

  I look down at Jaxon’s cock, staring at me, with its one eye, as it works me.

  It wants to invade me. It wants to fuck me. It wants to pain me.

  And for some sick, twisted reason, the thought excites me, because I can feel his erection also wants to give me...

  Pleasure!

  Oh, I’m coming.

  Bursts of ecstasy shoot from my center with each stroke of Jaxon’s thick head weaving its friction against my slick clit—antagonizing my body to produce spark after spark. I could never have guessed his cock could make me feel this good.

  Jaxon keeps antagonizing me until there is absolutely no spark left and he reaches over me to free me from the cuffs.

  I rub my wrists as he undoes the ties at my legs. He lays naked beside me. Pulling my leg around his waist, he nudges his hips forward until I feel his still hard member press into my belly.

  More exposure therapy.

  “I think the exercise went fairly well,” he says, brushing my hair out of my face and kissing my neck.

  “Oh, do you?” I smirk.

  “I do.”

  “But you cheated.”

  “How so?”

  “You took the Bang.”

  “That was after the exercise.”

  “It still isn’t fair.”

  “No,” he groans, rolling on top of me, “what’s not fair is you won’t admit to what you’re afraid of because I think you know what it is and you’re denying me a second chance to correct it.”

  He can’t correct it. “What do you think I’m afraid of?”

  “Sex.”

  I laugh, “That’s not it.”

  He cocks his head. “Then, tell me what it is so I can fix it. Don says you’re not a phallophobe and I know you just figured it out. So, if you’re not afraid of dick and you’re not afraid of sex, then what are you afraid of?”

  “It’s not something you can fix, Jax, and it’s not something exposure therapy will be able to help with either.”

  The idea of being continuously exposed to the source of my fe
ar, my phobia...

  I don’t even want to think about it.

  Jaxon grabs my jaw firmly, wrapping his fingers across my cheek bones and my chest tightens. “What is it? What are you afraid of?” he grits and I sigh.

  “Pain.”

  Chapter 14

  Ursula

  We enter a diner with a fifties motif—black and white checkerboard tiled floor with high-back fire engine red colored booths and white tables lined with chrome trim fill the interior. I head to the restroom. I need a break. A break from Jaxon. I need to think.

  The second we left NIM in his car, he wouldn’t stop talking about sex:

  It’s not going to hurt.

  It’s going to feel good.

  I’m not going to hurt you.

  You’ve already lost your virginity.

  Let’s take it easy and not try to make it a big deal.

  You just have to trust me.

  Jaxon is beginning to sound like every other boy that wanted to get into my panties back in high school, but that’s not the worst of my problems. There are days I’m haunted by images of shower tiles and worse days when I’m haunted by images of Charlotte’s house on fire. But today, I’m haunted by images of the room we just left—Nick’s room, the room where Jaxon fucked my clit with the blunt tip of his dickhead, the room that looks like a sex dungeon.

  I feel dirty but worse than that, I can’t help escape the feeling Jaxon is too familiar with that room, a room designed to add to the ambience of pain.

  Algophobia, confirmed by Don, is the name of the condition I have. It sounds like I have a fear of alligators rather than pain.

  As I wash my hands, my stomach churns and I find myself short of breath. I figure I’d better find Jax, hoping he’s found a table and sit down.

  Emerging from the restroom, I see Jaxon has been seated and he’s laughing with a young waitress—a pretty, strawberry blonde, dressed in a pink and white uniform. Another waitress comes up. She’s also young and pretty, but with black hair—as black as the thick winged liner and full fake lashes on her eyelids. Both waitresses have their hair pinned up, but it doesn’t stop them from twiddling with the few tendrils that hang down every time Jaxon speaks. As if they’re really listening. Lid-liner girl even goes as far as to put her knee on the seat across from him, on my seat, like she intends to sit down.