A Love So Wrong: A Forbidden Romance

by Katerina Winters

  "I'm talking about the secondary account, my spending account I get monthly," she explained exasperatedly.

  Jade stiffened. God, how she wished the phone would ring and save her from having to tell her. Looking to the pair of waiting blue eyes, Jade dropped her chin to her chest with a slight groan. Not looking up, she tiredly reminded her mother of her recent shopping foray online. "Last week, you spent the rest of this month's allowance on sixteen rolls of that expensive alpaca yarn."

  "But…" The stark realization seemed to evaporate her words as her eyes widened, revealing the whites of her eyes. Shaking her head, Sandra stood up and began looking for something around her chair and on the table.

  Before Jade could ask what she was looking for, Sandra spoke as she fervently picked up and tossed aside patterns and scraps of fabric. "This is nonsense," she snapped. "I'm a grown woman, and I will not be treated like a child in my own house. I'm calling Gideon right now to…"

  Jade was up and out of her seat when she saw her mother's hand enclose around her phone. Putting her hand over the phone's surface, Jade gave her mother a hard glare. "No," her tone so deep and so final it froze the older woman in place. Ignoring her mother's shock, Jade pulled the phone from her loosened grip and sat it back on the table. "Gideon is at work right now, driving a tanker truck full of propane to Dallas and back, he does not need to deal with this."

  As if she had been slapped, Sandra stumbled back to her seat and looked at Jade with pure and utter shock. "You don't care about me at all, do you?!" she shrieked, slapping a hand on the armrest.

  Stunned, Jade couldn't say anything.

  "Gideon this and Gideon that," Sandra nearly growled, little flecks of spit soaring through the air with each angry word. "It’s always Gideon with you. You always take Gideon's side over mine. You don't love me," she accused her in a howl of tears.

  Guilt pierced at Jade's heart. Instinctively, she wanted to kneel down beside her and draw the woman into her arms and tell her she was wrong and to convince her of her love. But wasn't that how they got in this position in the first place? Gideon always warned her about spoiling their mother, even dad had hinted to her a few times that coddling Sandra was his job, and he didn't want her starting that habit he himself should have never started. But Jade didn't listen. She loved her mother, and she only ever wanted to see her joyful smile.

  Sitting down on the couch next to her, Jade pressed her lips together in an effort to resist apologizing. She did nothing wrong, she reminded herself. Putting a hand on her mother's shaking back, Jade listened as the woman's cries grew louder while her mind drifted back to her accusing words. Of course, Jade always turned to Gideon's side, she always would. Gideon was there for her from the beginning when she barely knew him.

  ~

  It was her second week at the foster home when she had seen the new boy being brought in and introduced to the others. Gideon was quiet; he stood there, clutching the straps to his black backpack as his hard eyes surveyed everyone and everything in the room. Those razor-sharp, amber-brown eyes scared her, and she could still remember her stomach dropping at the knowledge that there was now another scary boy to add to the other two that were already there in the house. She had told herself to stay out of his way then and there. Maybe if he didn't notice her, he wouldn't pick on her as the other boys did.

  It seemed from the moment she entered the house, Jade was targeted by Jimmy and Devon. Both older than her by four years, the twelve-year-old boys took great pleasure in messing with the "mute." On the third day, Mrs. Cade had sat down and had a word with the boys, and Jade naively thought that would be the end of it, but her heart sank, and her stomach burned with betrayal as Mrs. Cade sat her down in the kitchen too and told her that being silent wouldn't do her any favors and that Jade needed to speak up and stand up for herself. It was as if it was just as much Jade's fault that her hair was being pulled or she was being pushed into walls every time Devon walked past her in the hallway. Jade couldn’t say anything, she simply nodded at the exasperated woman.

  From then on, Jimmy and Devon's assaults only increased. With no tolerance for her silence, the other girls in the house kept to themselves and ignored Jade. She had no one to rely on but herself. Using the rules of the house to her advantage, Jade had stayed in the girl's room for all her spare time. When it was time to do her assigned chores, she kept a wide berth from the boys and made sure to stay near Mrs. Cade whenever possible. In the morning, Jade waited in the back of the group at the bus stop for school, using others as a human screen to separate herself from them. Jade quickly realized that both Jimmy and Devon only really liked to mess with her when she was separated from others and caught alone, so she did everything she could to stop that from happening.

  Or at least she tried.

  It had been nearly two weeks since the new boy arrived and a month since she had been dropped off at the home by the social worker. That week the last remaining girl in the house was picked up by a distant relative. Watching the smiling relative hug the girl and usher her into their car made Jade's chest feel as if it was being hollowed out. Why did her mother leave her? Why was she left all alone? Every day felt like she was gasping for air that she could never seem to get enough of. Each morning when she opened her eyes to see the wooden slats of the bunk bed above hers, Jade felt like crying.

  That night, alone in the girl's room, she listened to the sounds of the house settle down to nothing. Doors closed, lights went out and talking eventually ceased as everyone fell asleep. She had begun drifting off into sleep when the rough hand closed over mouth. Panic seized her chest as she opened her eyes wide and screamed into the palm over her lips. Standing over her bunk bed, she could see the shadowed faces of Devon and Jimmy staring down at her. Jimmy's face was twisted in evil excitement as he began pulling at her pants with his free hand. Jade let out a scream, but the sound was trapped and muffled, and she knew no one beyond this room could hear her.

  "Hold her still!" Jimmy hissed at Devon, who was trying to capture her frantically kicking legs.

  Tears fell down the sides of her face and into her hairline when she felt the cold air of the room on her bottom as her night pants were ripped away from her.

  She tried to claw at the cruel face hovering above her in a desperate attempt to get him off, but he was too tall, and her fingers barely grazed his face.

  She could feel the disgusting warmth of a hand forcefully reach between her legs and Jade choked out a sob behind the hand pressing painfully into her face. A shadow appeared suddenly behind the two boys. One moment Jimmy was sneering excitedly at her, and the next she watched as his head bounced in a sickeningly loud crack against the top bunk's wooden frame. Dropping like a stone, his hands fell away from her, and she watched as the shadow grabbed the second stunned boy. Pulling Devon back further into the shadows of the room, Jade couldn't make out the dark shape or what was happening, but she could hear the boy's shout and the deep thuds of fists making contact with flesh. After a few moments, the dark shape stepped back to her, and she finally saw the worried face of Gideon staring back at her.

  Gideon had saved her that night in more ways than he could ever know. Since that day, they had been the family the other desperately needed. Together they were friends and confidants to each other’s secrets. He was the one she whispered to in times of sadness, recounting the day she found her mother's dead body and a note of apology. She told him how she spent days in their apartment with her mother's body in the bedroom before she called the police. Gideon had been the one to assure her that her mother's death wasn't her fault. Over time he convinced her to let go of her guilt in hesitating to call the police, he explained to her from the details of her mother's body that she was beyond any help when Jade had found her and that her catatonic fear that day was normal.

  Gideon was there for her when she needed him most, so of course, she would choose Gideon first. Jade could only hope that Sandra would someday understand that.

  ~*
~

  Pulling down the dark private road, Gideon unknowingly let out a breath of tired relief. Fuck, that day had been long. Classes had been boring but annoyingly necessary since he had two tests coming up, and work was just as long and tedious. It was only the thought of coming home and experiencing the best part of his day that got him through the better part of the day. Turning the truck into the wide entrance to their driveway, the bright headlights of his truck flashed across the darkened house and the girl sitting on the front step.

  Fuck.

  Not bothering to take the truck the rest of the way down the drive to the steel garage, Gideon stopped it and quickly hopped out.

  "What is it?" he called out, taking long determined strides to the girl. "Is mom ok? What's wrong?"

  The stricken look on Jade's face felt like a vise on his heart, clamping down around it in painful worry.

  Standing up to meet him, Jade looked up at him with overly bright eyes as if tears were ready to fall at any moment. "He called Gideon, he called her while I was out. When I got home, she told me that she invited him back home."

  The clamp around his heart hardened until every vein in his body felt like stone. There was no need to clarify who “he” was, Gideon knew.

  Looking over her head towards the darkened windows of the house, Gideon could imagine his mother sleeping happily in her bed. Did she even know what she just did? Did she even care to know?

  Dropping his gaze back down, worried hazel eyes met his. She was waiting for him, waiting for him to tell her what they were going to do, waiting for him to assure her. But dear God, he had nothing. Normally, he would have turned to Henry. Henry was the one who had years and years of experience and wisdom. Henry was the one who never let his anger take over when things went bad, he would just calmly access the situation and handle it. But now Henry was gone, and for the first time in a long time, Gideon felt a brief moment of doubt. Was he even half the man Henry was?

  Soft and warm, the pressure of a familiar hand wrapping around his pulled him from his thoughts. Looking down, he stared at the slim hand closing around his and immediately felt his confidence pump through his bloodstream once again. Pulling her hand until she leaned closer, Gideon wrapped his arms around Jade and held her tightly.

  "Don't worry, we'll figure it out."

  ~*~

  Ron arrived just as Henry predicted. Stepping out of a sky-blue van that had certainly seen better days, Ron looked nothing like Jade had expected. As he walked into the house, Jade had watched as his eyes, the same grayish-blue as his mother’s, scanned the rooms and halls. She expected his face to be like his father's, kind and round, or that he would have the gentle demeanor of their mother. He had none of those things. A narrow-faced man with a greasy mop of hair that parted down the middle and hung shaggily around his ears, Ron seemed to be made up with the worst features of the wrong parent. With barely concealed contempt, Ron's sharp eyes darted around the house Jade had painstakingly straightened and cleaned, as if everything was out of place from how he left it years ago, and seeing it now out of place only angered him. Lagging behind him was the woman he introduced as his girlfriend, Marie. Pale blotchy skin, the woman reminded Jade of a wilted sun-bleached daisy. There was a hardened fatigue around the woman, a kind of permanent tiredness that only the constant rigors of life could cause.

  Gideon and Jade sat awkwardly in the kitchen that day as Sandra cooed and fussed over her estranged son in the living room, as if he had merely been out of town for a month and not kicked out of his home and family years ago. Sitting at the kitchen table, Jade tried to discreetly examine the man's narrow stooping back as he conversed and caught up with his mother. Jade tried to imagine that maybe it was all just a big misunderstanding, and maybe just maybe Henry had made a mistake about his son. But as she looked down at Gideon's clenched fist lying on the table next to her and his bright amber eyes watching the man with suspicious alertness she had never seen before, she turned her eyes back to Ron and reconsidered.

  Unfortunately, Ron and his girlfriend didn't leave when the evening arrived, and the sun faded behind the trees. With little to no choice, Jade found herself setting down extra plates around their dining room table as Gideon begrudgingly carried an extra chair over to the table. Sitting down in her usual spots between her mother and Gideon, Jade did her best to ignore the feeling of repulsion as Ron sat in Henry's empty chair.

  "Goddamn, this looks good," Ron exclaimed, his eyes going wide over the full plate of food before him. Grabbing his fork and knife, he didn't bother with grace as he began cutting into the tender pork chop. "See Marie, this is why you need to learn to cook. I told you my momma was the best cook around."

  Marie didn't say anything as she took a huge bite of her macaroni.

  "Actually," Sandra began proudly. “Your sister, Jade, cooked all of this."

  The forced reminder of the family title seemed to draw all the sound out of the room, leaving it awkward and stark before Ron finally grinned with a mouth full of food.

  Wiping his mouth with a napkin he rested one arm on his thigh and tilted his head to the side as he gave Jade a slow considering look that made her skin crawl. "Did she now?" Ron said slowly. "I have to say, little sis, you did one helluva job."

  Jade could feel the tension swirling and coalescing next to her. Not brave enough to turn and look, she could feel Gideon's anger lap against every surface in the room. Hardly touching his food, Gideon sat next to her like a stoic giant. Already taller than everyone in the room, Gideon sat ramrod straight in his chair, towering over everyone as if at any moment he was ready to leap out of his seat and attack.

  As if sensing the tension, Ron took another huge bite of food and turned his slippery dark gaze to the source, the determination to play with fire evident in his expression.

  "So, I hear you’re just boy-wonder of Stardust, huh?" Ron asked glibly before turning his gaze to her. "And you're like a genius or something?"

  "No, I'm just a regular student," she said carefully, painfully aware of Gideon's rising tension.

  Before Ron could reply, Gideon leaned forward and placed one elbow onto the table's edge with crafted casualness. "And where would you hear that from, exactly?" Gideon asked, mirroring the same flippant tone Ron had used. "Since you know, you don’t live here and all."

  Anger flashed in Ron's eyes. "I got friends everywhere."

  Gideon nodded with a smile that only made Jade's stomach drop. "I'm sure you do. In high and low places."

  The sound of Ron's fist slamming against the dinner table caused all the women to jump as the silverware jangled from the force. "Ok, let's just get this out and done with," Ron growled. "Do you have something to say, pretty boy? You don't like me, is that it? Did Henry fill your heads with how fucking terrible a son I was?"

  "Yeah, I got a problem with you," Gideon said, standing up from the table and leaning both fists onto the table's hard surface.

  Covering one of his fists with her hand, Jade squeezed it as she looked up to him, trying to pull his attention back to her. "Gideon, please."

  Gideon ignored her. "You show up the moment dad dies with fake concern over mom. You have been MIA for years, and now you show up,” Gideon gestured with his hand and gave a knowing smirk. “I'm just waiting for the excuse, the reason you’re going to tell mom why you think you should stay here. How are you going to weasel back in—"

  Now it was Ron who was getting up from his chair. "You haven't heard from me because my bastard father kicked me out on the streets," he yelled. "You haven't heard from me because while he replaced me for you,” he spat viciously, pain and resentment coating his words. “I was out struggling to survive."

  "Boys, please," Sandra cried out, looking frantically at both men who were circling the table towards each other.

  Standing directly in front of Ron now, Gideon crossed his arms, which made his huge frame against the thin, shorter man all the more imposing, and he smiled evilly. "More like an upgrade, don't y
ou think?"

  Standing from her seat now, Jade watched in terror as Ron seemed to vibrate with anger. His beady dark eyes shot from Gideon to her and narrowed maliciously.

  "Oh, I see," Ron's voice dripped with venom as he boldly closed the gap between him and Gideon. "I know what this is. Mr. Perfect All-American football star doesn’t want me around because you're afraid I'll confirm the whole goddamn town’s suspicions on how you want to fuck your own-"

  It only took one blink of an eye, one inhalation of breath, and it was all over. The words never made it beyond Ron's lips before Gideon's fist connected with sickening force, sending the older, shorter man nearly into the wall behind him.

  The red and blue lights from the sheriff's car strobed around the front of their property, flashing against their house in the dark. Standing in the middle of the yard, Jade blinked as she looked at the scene around her. Standing in front of the open doors of the paramedic truck, Ron yelled and complained to anyone who would listen about the assault he just endured while his ever-silent girlfriend meekly nodded and attempted to comfort him. Gideon stood surrounded by four officers and Sheriff Grayson who kept his hand tightly clasped to Gideon's large shoulder as Gideon explained his side of events while never removing his murderous glare from Ron. Turning her head, Jade cast another glance at her mother, who was crying into the shoulder of the fifth officer standing with her on the front step. Jade felt numb. It was as if she was losing segments of time every time she blinked. One moment they had been eating, then arguing, and then this. She could hardly recall anything in between. This moment felt bizarre and dreamlike—no, nightmarish she corrected. It all felt like some terrible nightmare had descended on them, all because of one person.