A Love So Wrong: A Forbidden Romance

by Katerina Winters

  "We've seen a lot of beautiful places too, though," she reminded him.

  "No doubt about it. Hell, I wasn't arguing that," he turned his head, and Jade could feel time slow as she watched the smile he only used on other women pull at the corners of his lips. "I see beauty every day."

  Jade's heart shuddered in her chest. Turning away from him, she forced herself to look back out her window. Little lights dotted the landscape beyond; porch lights, window lights, and a few car lights all signs of life huddling around the town. Jade tried to focus on those mundane details, anything to calm her beating heart. Each day it was getting harder and harder to deny the unnamed feeling lingering in the air. It was driving her crazy. With each flirtatious smile he gave her, with each soft, innocuous touch, Jade's heart twisted in her chest. She had no idea what to think anymore. Was she overreacting? Was she putting too much stock in the way his kisses to her forehead and cheeks have increased or the way his touches always seemed to land on spots that made her tremble? Doubt, shame, and fear were her constant companions now torturing her thoughts. She loved Gideon, she always had. But why now did it feel like her love was growing beyond the bounds she placed on it long ago? Why did everything inside of her hurt when she looked back at him now, and his smile was back to the normal familial smile he had given her since they were kids?

  Blinking, Jade looked down at her hands in her lap and searched her mind for another subject. Anything to push her thoughts away from focusing on him.

  "So umm, it was nice seeing Toby this morning, wasn't it?" not waiting for a reply, she rambled on. "It was pure luck. I decided to check my Facebook and saw his message."

  Leaning back in his seat Gideon grabbed his water bottle and took a healthy swig as he gave her a familiar wry look.

  "What? What's that face for?"

  Gideon snorted. "Yeah, a stroke of luck, my ass, that man has just taken his love for you up a notch to the stalking level."

  Jade gave him a bewildered look. "What?" she frowned, thinking back to Toby's sweet face. "I don't-"

  "Yes, he does," Gideon said dryly, cutting her off.

  Annoyed, Jade rolled her eyes. "Whatever, you think any guy old or young wants me. I don't know why you value me so highly. But let me tell you from the perspective of the person who is so-called being lusted after by so many men as you claim, I haven't sensed anything from anyone," she said a little bitterly.

  It was actually something that bothered her. Back in Stardust, it seemed like everyone she knew was highly sought after, whereas herself—not so much. Gideon with his all-star perfect boy wonder personality, Ebony with her killer good looks and serious stare, Gavin with his bad-boy vibes, heck, even Taylor with his sweet demeanor all the girls found utterly fascinating, everyone except for their mutual silent nerdy friend. It was disheartening to one's self-esteem, to say the least.

  Gideon let out a bark of laughter. "Like you could tell. You’re the worst Jade, when it comes to reading other dudes' clear and obvious signs, you are terrible."

  Jade opened her mouth to argue, but Gideon didn't give her a chance to speak.

  "You can't see that because you're stuck in your own head most of the time,” he informed her.

  "I'm not," she proclaimed. She hated how he made it sound as if she was just a dense, self-conscious idiot.

  "Trust me,” he muttered. “It would make my life a whole helluva lot easier if you started picking up on these things."

  "I'm so sorry I have been making your life miserable," she snapped hotly.

  "Are you actually angry with me right now?" he said, lifting one eyebrow, and she could feel the sparks of his own anger beginning to strike against hers.

  "Yes, Gideon, I am. How perceptive of you," she said, tartly not caring if this turned into a full-blown argument or not. She knew it looked silly, and she knew she probably sounded like she was overreacting, but she didn't care. He couldn't just make blanket statements like that about her. "You make it seem like I am some clueless dunce, and you expect me not to be offended."

  "How the fuck did you get that from that?" he demanded.

  Not trusting herself to say anything, she pressed her lips together and turned her head away from him, staring at her own reflection out the dark passenger window.

  "Jade," he said warningly.

  For a second, she briefly considered letting him stew in the silence he hated. Seeing that he was taking an exit, she used the opportunity of the slowing vehicle to unbuckle her seatbelt and get up.

  "I don't care, Gideon," she informed him with a shrug he couldn't see as she stepped into the bunk area and rummaged through her belongings, getting her bathing bag ready. With her back to him, she continued. "Tie me up, do whatever you threatened me with before," she said boldly, feeling the truck make the turn. "I honestly don’t want to talk to you anymore tonight."

  She could feel the truck sway in one more turn before she heard the double click of the gears being put in park. With barely a sound, Gideon stood up from his chair and walked towards her.

  Warily, she tilted her head back as he stopped only a pace away from her. If she inhaled too deeply, the tips of her breasts would touch his chest. Jade made sure to take tiny shallow breaths.

  Tilting his head, Gideon gave her a searching look before smiling softly. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, don't be mad at me. I'm just saying you are terrible at reading guys. The fact that you can't see that Toby is slightly obsessed with you is proof enough," he explained.

  Still, Jade said nothing. Averting her gaze from his, she tried to look beyond him to the parking lot outside. What if he gave her another one of those devastatingly chaste kisses again? Weren't they in a position just like this the last time he did that? Dear God, she hoped not. She would not survive another.

  "Don't be mad, talk to me," he said thickly as he lifted his hand to the side of her face, gently pushing her curls over her shoulder. She wondered, could he see the tremble that shook through her from that action? Could he see her pulse at her neck thrumming wildly? "Toby even gave me some of his coupon credit he earned for a free shower in the big stall they have," Gideon coaxed. "He said you told him how we are trying to save every dollar we can," he explained.

  Needing to get out from this close proximity to him, Jade nodded and smiled. It wasn't worth trying to maintain her anger if she had to endure this too. Satisfied at her acquiescence, Gideon grabbed his own things. Inside the truck-stop's storefront, Gideon made his way to the cash register while she rummaged around in their books and magazines aisle. After a few minutes, Gideon walked back over to her catching her eye.

  "What?" she asked, putting the glossy magazine back onto the rack.

  Gideon held out his hand. "Let me have your driver's license. They need to scan it for security purposes."

  Pulling her backpack around from her back, she fished into the front pocket and pulled out her wallet. Slipping out the license, she put it in his hand.

  "Ok great, be right back," he called out as he walked back to the register.

  A few minutes later, he was back and waving to her to follow him through the bustle of people in the station. Going up to a set of double glass doors, Gideon swiped a key card on the black card-reader against the door. With a beep and a small flash of green light, the door unlocked, allowing them to step through. Inside it was quiet, unlike the storefront. Nodding to the security guard, who sat sleepily at his desk watching TV, Gideon led her down the narrow hallway of doors. Each door was numbered, and she knew beyond each was a private shower stall. Leading her to the very back of the hallway, they stopped at the last door on the left, and Gideon flashed his card again on the reader.

  Jade paused as he began to step inside and gave him a confused look.

  Gideon gave her a sheepish grin as he scratched the back of his head. "Well…technically Toby gave us two coupons. One for half off a regular shower and another for half off a big shower stall. And I figured we could save money with the big stall," seeing her eyes wid
en in shock, Gideon rushed to finish. "Not only are we saving money, but we have a three-hour time limit, unlike the hour time limit given on the single stalls."

  Putting it together quickly in her mind, she gave him a narrowed look. "And that's why you wanted my license?"

  Turning his grin to the floor, he looked up at her through his curly lashes with a guilty smile. "Umm yeah, I had to tell them that we were married, you know, because of security and all."

  Yeah, more like prostitution and disgusting truckers using the bigger shower stall as a "meeting" place.

  "So, once she saw our same last names, she approved it," he finished and made another step through the door before turning and grabbing her stiff arm and pulling her in. "Come on."

  The door shut behind her.

  "Gideon," she whined as she reluctantly turned the corner and stepped into the large bathroom. "Just how in the world are we going to do this?"

  The bathroom was big and spacious, but it still meant they would be showering practically together. On the right side of the wall was a large bathtub, which was directly across from the vanity and sink on the other side of the room. In the back of the room was an open doorway that led to a shower tucked on the right and just an open bench tucked on the left. Even if she stood right where she was standing, only able to see the open doorway to the shower, she or Gideon could still see the other person walk across the open doorway from the shower to the dry bench that would hold their clothes. This just wasn't going to work!

  Jade was about to tell Gideon just that, but he seemed to read her mind.

  He pointed to the tub. "Look, while you shower, I will sit in the tub with my back towards the showers, problem solved."

  Jade looked to the tub and frowned. She supposed that could work, but it still didn't do a thing for the pure fact that he would still be in the same room as her while she showered. But what choice did they have, though? He already paid for the shower, and saving money was a top priority. With a sigh of defeat, she nodded, but she pointed to the bathtub in silent command.

  Giving her a mocking salute, Gideon climbed into the dry tub and made himself comfortable as she marched to the shower stall.

  Though they had plenty of time, Jade didn't linger. Washing her hair and herself, she dashed over to the other side of the shower, hoping she was nothing but a blur going across the opening. She couldn't imagine having Gideon see her naked. She knew the type of girls he dated and undoubtedly seen undressed, there was no comparison between her and them.

  After dressing into a loose, comfortable tracksuit, Jade emerged from the shower area, assuming Gideon would hurry in after her—he did not. Still lounging the tub as if it were a plush chaise and not a hard porcelain tub, Gideon played with his phone and looked up at her with a grin.

  "Honestly, this isn’t half bad," he answered as if reading her mind.

  Tension eased out of her shoulders, and she felt her earlier self-conscious worries fade. Laughing at him, she turned to the vanity and began pulling things out of her bag. She could use this time to pluck her eyebrows, she mused. The truck was certainly no place for the task. At night she never did seem to have enough light in the cab, and during the day, while the truck was moving was a sure-fire way to pluck out an eye. Hopping onto the long sturdy counter, she crossed her legs and faced the mirror directly, and got to work on her bushy brows.

  While she poked and prodded, turning her head from one angle to another to make sure the subtle arches she gave each brow matched perfectly, Gideon slowly ambled over to the shower. The sound of music drew her attention. Looking in the mirror's reflection, she could see that Gideon's phone still lay on the bathtub's rim, and it played soothing notes of old jazz. Jade felt her mind rush back to the pleasant memories of her and Gideon sitting together in the den recounting their day, listening to the same songs. Even during those dark times after dad's death, her memories with Gideon were still precious.

  Without thinking, her eyes drifted along the mirror's shining reflection towards the billows of steam in the corner of the room. An invisible fist wrapped itself around her throat and another around her heart as she watched Gavin's naked backside come into view. Jade couldn't move. Her eyes stayed glued to the spot as she watched his tall, muscular figure step back from the hot spray and lather his body. Grooves, indentations, and swells of muscles rippled beneath the caramel skin of his back as water and soap suds sluiced off of him. The striations of muscles were like an unholy dance, a spell cast to her eyes and thoughts keeping them riveted to the scene while her hand still holding the tweezers midway to her face was frozen in place. Jade's mouth ran dry as she watched helplessly as the firm muscles in his butt pulled in, creating a twin concave effect as he shifted and grabbed for something beyond her sight.

  Move. Turn away, she begged herself. But Jade did not move as she watched in horrified rapture as Gideon slowly turned. With his arms raised above, lathering the shampoo into his hair, Gideon's eyes were closed, and his head tilted back towards the spray.

  Her heart was going to explode. She had to look away, but her eyes did not obey. Like an asp, her eyes slithered from his taut, powerful chest and down each groove of his defined abs, following the sprinkling trail of dark brown hair until it led to a thatch of curls that made her blood burn in her veins. Subconsciously, she licked her dry lips as she watched the gentle sway of his shaft as he moved.

  Finally, she found the strength to pull her gaze away. Staring down at the reflection of her lap, she clasped both hands around the pair of tweezers and tried to take deep breaths. How could she do that? She made such a big deal about him possibly being able to see her naked, and the first thing she did was ogle him like her life depended on it. Images of his nude form kept flashing in her mind, and Jade let out a groan. Lord, he looked so good it physically hurt.

  Keeping her head down, Jade turned her crossed legs until they faced outward and unfolded them to step back onto the floor. The sound of the water shutting off automatically stole her attention like a knee-jerk reaction. Unbiddenly, she looked up to see Gideon step out of the shower's corner and walk proudly across to the dry section unconcerned of his exposure. And just like before, time seemed to stretch and slow as his dark amber eyes found hers, the smile on his face knowing and wicked before disappearing behind the other wall.

  Jade was pretty much useless after that. Her hands would not stop shaking, and her gut would not stop twisting in shame. Drying her hair with the provided blow dryer, she stood at the far edge of the counter near the wall when Gideon emerged, wearing a pair of jeans and a dark green t-shirt. Jade could not bring herself to look at him. Her neck, ears, and cheeks felt hot as her body burned in embarrassment. Putting down the dryer just as Gideon slung his own bag over his shoulder, the room was filled in a sudden awkward silence. Pulling her own bag from the counter, Jade forced herself to turn and look at Gideon. He was already looking at her with a smirk that made her want to die.

  Averting her gaze, she swallowed thickly. "I…I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to-"

  Gideon laughed and stepped forward, throwing an arm around her shoulders. "It's ok, trust me, I do not care if you see me naked."

  Stiffly, Jade followed him back to the truck, but her mind was reeling. She knew he was just trying to reassure her, but Jade couldn't seem to make herself take it that way. He didn't care the same way she would have if the situation had been reversed. Gideon didn't look at her the way she looked at him, she knew that for certain now. His protective and sometimes possessive nature for her was not the same secret unnamed feeling she had for him. Staring up at the roof of her bunk that night, Jade closed her eyes tight as tears threatened to spill. She needed to get real and let go of this silly dream she let herself concoct at some point in their journey. They would always be siblings. Gideon wasn't one day going to wake up in their future home together and come to her room and admit that he loved her. There would be no smiles and kisses over a sunny breakfast table, nor children with sandy-brown cur
ls running in the yard. That was just a secret, hopeful illusion, and that's all it would ever be.

  ~*~

  Something was off. Gideon couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he knew in his bones something was definitely off.

  They were about an hour outside of Las Vegas right now. The sun was up, and it was beautiful out. He had woken up feeling like a million dollars. Last night in the shower, he had caught glimpses of Jade's frozen expression as she watched him bathe. It felt as if it took God himself to keep his dick from rising to the attention, but somehow, he managed it. Gideon felt like a god under her gaze. All the hard work on his body, in his opinion, finally paid off in that one moment. Her flustered attitude felt like cool water to a dying man as Gideon soaked it all in.