Unspoken Words

by Latoya Chandler

  In an attempt to have a romantic dinner and feeling comfortable with allowing Garrett to bed her after being married for six months, Desirae took a stab at preparing a steak dinner. Garrett was due home in a few hours, so Desirae scurried around getting herself and the rest of the dinner prepared. She’d already placed the frozen steaks in the oven in the morning shortly after Garrett had left for class. She knew they had to thaw out and turned the oven on and placed the meat inside after seasoning it with salt.

  While taking a shower, the sound of the smoke detector startled her, causing her to lose her balance in the shower. She was able to catch herself from falling and ran out to try to get things under control. Smoke smacked her in the face as the bathroom door opened. It blurred her vision so that she could not see much before her.

  “I know this boy didn’t leave this damn stove on!” a female screamed.

  “Who’s that?” Desirae asked.

  “This is my home. I’m the only one who should be asking questions. Where is my son, and did he leave you here to burn my house down?”

  “No, ma’am. I apologize. I was trying to surprise him with dinner. I’m sorry we had to finally meet like this, although I am glad to meet you finally.”

  “Who are you?”

  “I am Desirae. Garrett said you were ill, and he didn’t want to bombard you with meeting anyone new, but I’m his wife.”

  “His what? Girl, have you and my son have lost your minds? Wife? He can’t even take care of himself or his responsibilities.”

  “I’ve been looking for part-time work so I can help out. I apologize if we’ve been a burden, ma’am.”

  “So, you’re going to help with his child support payments and help get diapers for the boys?”

  “Child support? Diapers?”

  “Child, where is your mother? My son has some growing up to do, and so do you. Let me tell you something. Don’t ever get yourself tied up to no man, woman, or anything until you’ve taken the time to get to know them. But, first, you have to know yourself. You knew something wasn’t right. How long have you been here?”

  “We’ve been married six months, ma’am.”

  “And you were all right with being down here, knowing I was upstairs, and you never saw or spoke to me?”

  “I was trying to be submissive like Garrett asked me to be by respecting his wishes and doing things when he was ready.”

  “Baby, submissive and stupid are two different things. Is your mother still around?”

  “Yes, she is, ma’am.”

  “Call her and go home. You’re a beautiful girl and have some growing up to do. Don’t allow my son’s shit to have you walking around here stinking. I love my child, but he’s my problem, so don’t make him yours. I can’t afford to take care of another person either. Go home to your mother, baby.”

  * * *

  Rosalind had been sick to her stomach since Desirae left. She had no idea where she could be. She was with Garrett, of course, but where? Her initial thought was to go by Monica and Monique’s place, and when she did, neither of them had any idea where Desirae was. The last time they’d spoken to Dez was when Garrett proposed. Desirae had cut everyone off because she didn’t want anyone telling her what to do. She’d left her cell phone in her bedroom the night she disappeared with Garrett. The only thing Rosalind thought to do was what Pastor Patterson had taught her to do, which was to pray. She disliked his methods of discipline, but she admired them the same. Rosalind’s thoughts tormented her at a terrifying rate. With no one to turn to, it took her just about the six months during Dez’s absence to swallow her pride and call over to the Pattersons.

  After apologizing, Rosalind disclosed everything that had transpired with Desirae to Levi and Vera. Without a second thought, Pastor Patterson suggested they pray. He rebuked every assignment of attack that might be on Desirae’s life and told Rosalind to take God at His Word because her daughter would be back home. Pastor Patterson was on point with his words because two days after they’d spoken, Desirae called, crying.

  “Mom, I messed up. I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. Garrett is a liar. Can I come home, please?”

  “Of course, you can, baby girl. Where are you? I’ll come and get you right now.”

  Alina had brought Desirae upstairs to call and wait for Rosalind to pick her up. While upstairs, Desirae had the chance to see Garrett’s twin boys, Ethan and Allen. They were miniature versions of Garrett. Their mom wanted nothing to do with them or Garrett and had dropped them at Alina’s doorstep when they were 8 days old. Alina had been caring for them ever since. Because they had her DNA, she refused to allow anything to happen to her grandchildren. A mother knows her child, and Alina knew Garrett was extremely immature to care for the boys, so she took on the responsibility. Alina took her son to court so that his child support was taken out of his paycheck. If he quit his job or fell behind on his obligation, she warned Garrett she’d take him back to court until they revoked his license and arrested him if it came down to it. Alina knew the only way to get through to her son was through the courts, so she’d done just that, hoping to teach him how to take care of someone other than himself. His dad wasn’t in the picture after conception, so Alina had done the best she could with what she had in raising her son.

  Desirae left before Garrett came back home, and the only time they spoke after that was for the annulment of their marriage. When she returned home, Rosalind had a surprise waiting for her. Rosalind would never understand how or why Desirae jumped and got married. She did understand Monica and Monique had a strong influence on the transformation of Dez. When Rosalind went searching for Dez, Omar and Latrine directed her to the G-room to see if Desirae was down there. Then everything made sense to her. Rosalind’s stomach surged in her spine when she saw the alcohol and the stench of marijuana that infiltrated her nostrils as soon as they opened the door for her.

  Rosalind was a firm believer you are the company you keep. To help her daughter out and to reach a place she knew she could not reach, Rosalind asked Naomi-Ruth to come by and be at the house when Desirae got there. Desirae, on the other hand, sobbed the entire way home. She tried apologizing, but her words lodged in her throat on each attempt. Rosalind pitied her daughter and cried alongside her.

  As Rosalind and Dez made their way to the door, Desirae screeched as if she’d been struck.

  “Nomi, is that really you?” Desirae collapsed in Naomi-Ruth’s arms.

  “Yes, it’s me. I’ve missed you so much,” she cried.

  The girls stayed up most of the night, catching up between crying and apologizing. They picked up where they’d left off without skipping a beat. Naomi-Ruth invited Desirae to help her with her boutique between classes. Desirae was honored and happy at the same time. It was what she needed to get her mind off of Garrett. Since finding out about his children and the other women, Desirae was beating herself up for running off into the night without a plan but primarily for rushing into this situation and not getting to know Garrett. She felt she only knew him in an impaired state. When they married, she hadn’t touched alcohol or smoked weed. While in a sober state, the last thing she wanted was for Garrett to touch her. She didn’t even find him as attractive as she had upon meeting him, which is why it was so difficult for her to give herself to him.

  Desirae was thankful for her mother allowing her to come home and her being there.

  Chapter Thirteen

  My Dad’s Clone . . .

  Naomi-Ruth felt she was forever indebted to Desirae and Rosalind. Because of them, she was able to get through the passing of her parents. Desirae took on things at N&D’s Boutique, making sure everything ran smoothly in Naomi-Ruth’s absence. Rosalind kept her apprised of everything that was going on at the church. Since Desirae had returned home, Rosalind found her way back to the house of God and dedicated the majority of her time there.

  When Pastor Patterson was too ill, he invited several preachers to host revivals at the church. One of the guest s
peakers reminded him of himself when he was younger, so he asked him to fill in as the interim pastor until he was well enough to shepherd his flock again. Shortly thereafter, Pastor Patterson’s health took a turn for the worse, leaving the church without a head pastor. Levi left everything to Naomi-Ruth in the event something that something were to happen to him and Vera. She knew she wasn’t in any position to pastor, so she adhered to her father’s wishes with his replacement.

  Dexter Lewis had come highly recommended by Levi’s good friend, Bishop Livingston. Pastor Patterson was leery in the beginning learning Dexter’s age, but because Bishop had vouched for Pastor Lewis, he overlooked his age. The saints took to Pastor Lewis as if he were Levi. He too preached the unadulterated Word of God. Like Pastor Patterson, Dexter stood firm on the Word of God. He preached holiness or hell.

  Some of the single women in the congregation went out of their way to throw themselves at Pastor Lewis. They’d bring breakfast, lunch, and on most occasions, dinner to him. Sunday mornings, they scheduled counseling sessions and went out of their way to have a conversation with him after each service. He’d ignore their advances. Naomi-Ruth is who he had his eye on from the first time they met. When she left her father’s office at the time of their meeting, Dexter asked Pastor Patterson for his blessing to marry Naomi-Ruth in the near future.

  “Pastor, can I ask you a question?” Dexter inquired.

  “Sure, son, what is it?”

  “The Bible states that he who finds a wife finds a good thing. I believe I’ve found my good thing.”

  “Is that so, son?”

  “Tell me about her.”

  “Tell you about my Naomi-Ruth, is that right?” Levi caught on.

  “Yes, Pastor Patterson. Your Naomi-Ruth is my wife. I apologize if I am out of line, but God showed me her in a dream. I just never met her in person until today. So, what I am asking is for your blessing to marry her one day.”

  “Son, when that day comes, ask me again, and I’ll give you an answer. Right now, you’re on an assignment to preach, not mate.”

  Naomi-Ruth was oblivious to the conversation Dexter had with her father as well as his feelings toward her. She thought he was a very attractive young man and a well-versed preacher like her dad. However, her respect for him wouldn’t allow her mind to wander too far. Naomi-Ruth had the same admiration for Pastor Lewis as she did her father. Although Levi was her dad, when it was time for church, he was Pastor Patterson, which is how she trained her mind to view Dexter. He was her pastor.

  Desirae and Naomi-Ruth were the Singles’ Ministry leaders. They organized outings, workshops, and conferences for the singles to gather. Without thinking about it, Naomi-Ruth invited Pastor Lewis to join one of the ministry’s outings.

  “Hey, Pastor Lewis, are you busy?” She peeked her head into his office.

  “I’m not busy at all, Naomi-Ruth. Come on in.”

  “I don’t mean to bother you, but we are having a volley ball tournament tonight. It’ll be the men against the women. If you’re not too busy, you should join us.”

  “I saw the flyer. This is for the Singles’ Ministry, correct?”

  “Yes, it is. If I’m out of line, I apologize. It’s just I didn’t ever see a ring on your finger or a spouse around. Other than Mother Diane, there haven’t been any other women around you. I know she still wears a wedding band and has no husband. I’m going on and on. Please forgive me. I have no place inviting you.”

  “No apology necessary. I think I’m the one that owes you an apology. I’m sorry that I gave off signs that I am not married. I’m not sure when or how, but I lost my ring some time ago, and my wife has been out of the country on business.”

  “Oh my goodness. I had no idea. Everyone said you were single. Again, Pastor, please forgive me. I will never jump to conclusions and judge a book by its cover again or listen to someone else. Wow, I am so sorry.”

  Unable to conceal his laughter any longer, Dexter burst out laughing. Holding his chest, he confessed, “If you could see the look on your face, you’d be laughing too. I was joking, Naomi-Ruth. I am not married yet. I am as single as you’d like me to be,” he flirted.

  Naomi-Ruth’s face burned with embarrassment as she turned to leave. Before closing the door behind her, she popped her head back in and said, “I guess I will see you then.”

  She had heard what Pastor Lewis said. It was just hard for her to digest. Pastor Lewis had blatantly flirted with her, and this time, she hadn’t imagined things. On occasion, Naomi-Ruth thought she’d spotted him staring at her, then breaking eye contact and looking away when she caught him. However, she dismissed it, thinking she’d imagined things. At this moment, there was no denying it. Pastor Dexter Lewis was toying with her. And every occasion they were around each other alone and periodically in group settings, he’d use that same charismatic charm to cause butterflies to swirl in her stomach. The first text from him blew Naomi-Ruth’s mind.

  Hey, Sister Naomi, I was wondering if you knew what the weather would be.

  Why would he ask me about the weather when he has a television and a phone? Oh my goodness, he’s flirting with me, she assumed to herself.

  Naomi-Ruth didn’t reply and waited until she saw Pastor Lewis at the auxiliary meeting in the afternoon. Even though it was evident what was going on, she nevertheless had a hard time wrapping her mind around it all. Asking what the weather would be had her shaking her head every time she thought about it. She always arrived early to prepare the agenda for the meetings, and when she got there this time, Pastor Lewis was sitting in her office.

  “Hh . . . Hey, Pastor. Can I help you with something? Is everything all right?”

  “Well, I have a leather jacket on, and it is 80 degrees out. I have been waiting for you to get back to me on the weather forecast for today.”

  “Pastor, it is 2:00 in the afternoon. You mean to tell me you never thought about turning on the television or looking in your phone for it?”

  “What if I told you I didn’t have a television, and my phone only works on Wi-Fi, and I don’t have that either.”

  “There I go putting my foot in my mouth again. I apologize, Pastor. Do you want me to look now for you? Wait a minute. You just said it was 80 out, so you know.”

  “I got you again.” He roared with laughter.

  “You know, maybe you missed your calling. You’re a comedian,” she chuckled.

  After that, practically all of their conversations started and ended with a joke. Naomi-Ruth enjoyed Dexter’s sense of humor. Her dad had been the same way with Vera. He was the complete opposite of who he was in the pulpit. Her parents used to stay up until the wee hours of the morning, laughing and cracking jokes. Naomi-Ruth admired their bond and yearned for it for herself.

  When Pastor Lewis asked for her hand in marriage, Naomi-Ruth presumed she was getting the type of love from a man as her mom had enjoyed in her dad. On her mini-moon, Dexter had reminded Naomi-Ruth that her parents hadn’t courted the traditional way. They had busied themselves with the work of the Lord, and it had strengthened their bond in becoming man and wife. Dexter had said that was the best courtship there was, and it would be the foundation of their marriage. It had slipped Naomi-Ruth’s mind, but she did follow in Vera’s footsteps.

  Did I marry my dad’s clone? Her lips quivered.

  However, she didn’t recall her father dictating what her mom wore or preventing her from having a job. The more Naomi-Ruth thought about it, the more it dawned her that her mom had always worn dresses and never had a job. And up until her rape, Naomi-Ruth had only been allowed to wear dresses. Levi and Vera had finally granted her permission to include pants in her wardrobe after Naomi-Ruth had fussed that skirts might cause more problems.

  What have I done?

  Chapter Fourteen

  Pray Until Something Happens . . .

  Naomi-Ruth’s mind swirled with confusion. She couldn’t seem to grasp one thought before another took its place. Heading to Desira
e and Rosalind’s home, she hoped her friend could give her some clarity. They hadn’t spoken since Dez had left Naomi-Ruth’s wedding in tears. Nothing was adding up to her, and it caused Naomi-Ruth to question herself and what God wanted for her life. She knew that every marriage had its difficulties. However, they hadn’t gotten up or out of bed fully after getting to know each other intimately before things had turned.

  The way Dexter had catered to her body, kissing and caressing her, was how Naomi-Ruth had envisioned it would be like when she gave herself to a husband for the first time. She’d had no real contact with a man before or after the rape. Naomi-Ruth had vowed to save herself for marriage. Nothing was making sense to her. The more she reflected on it, the harder she pushed the gas pedal. Before she realized it, she was in front of Desirae and Rosalind’s complex. It was the same place that Naomi-Ruth had restored her friendship with Dez. They had remained in that home since moving from next door to the Pattersons. Desirae had purchased the condo for Rosalind for her sixty-fifth birthday. Rosalind said she would only accept it if Desirae agreed to stay there with her until she started her own family.

  Naomi-Ruth jumped out of the car and rushed to the door. As the door opened, she lost it.

  “Dez, I don’t know what to do. He . . . He wants me to end it all,” she bawled.

  “Nomi, you are not making sense. Please try to catch your breath. Who wants you to do what?”

  “Dexter does. He was a whole other person this morning. I don’t know who the man I woke up to this morning is.”

  “Nomi, real talk, you didn’t know the man you married or went to bed with either. I am sorry, but I have to be honest.”

  “That’s not true, Dez. From the wedding until the honeymoon, he was the same as he had always been with me. He was cracking jokes and making me blush. He made me feel like I was the only woman in the world. And that was just by the way he looked at me.”