Trust Me, I’m a Personal Trainer

by Sam Derbyshire

  “What and marry you?” laughed Steve. “She must be mad. Does Callum know?”

  “He does now,” came a voice from the cubicles and, as the door slowly opened, Myles and Steve froze. Callum looked stunned.

  “You bastard,” he hissed, staring at Myles. “I knew you had zero morals, but this is a new low.”

  Myles held his tongue and neither of them moved. Steve looked from one to the other and, as Callum clenched his fists, Steve realised that he was going to need reinforcements. Thankfully, the door opened and Myles, sensing a good time for an exit, pushed past his best mate Simon into what he hoped would be the sanctuary of a crowded bar. Taking one look at Callum and then Steve, Simon realised immediately what was going on. As Callum followed Myles, Simon and Steve both made a grab for him and held him beside the door.

  “Fuck off, get off of me!” hissed Callum. “He’s not getting away with it, I fucking hate that bastard.”

  “Callum wait, calm down,” said Steve, not letting go of his arm. “You need to listen, it’s not that simple.”

  “Don’t tell me to calm down,” hissed Callum, almost spitting in Steve’s face. “You bastards knew about it, didn’t you? Did everyone know about it? Am I the only one who didn’t know about it?”

  “Only Steve and I knew about it.” said Simon calmly. “No one else.”

  “Well apart from Lucy and Christie,” said Steve, “and probably Rachael.”

  Simon glared at him and shook his head.

  For a brief moment, Callum remained silent then, with a sudden yell of anger, he released himself from Steve’s grip and headed for the bar in search of Myles.

  “Where is he?” growled Callum as he found Rex. “Where did he go?”

  “Who?” asked Rex. “Christ, man, what’s the matter with you?”

  “Myles!” hissed Callum. “Where is he? I’m going to kill that bastard.”

  “He just left,” said Rex. “Why, what’s going on?”

  “He’s been shagging my wife! That’s who Maggie’s been having an affair with, fucking Myles.”

  “Bloody hell,” said Rex, trying to take it in. “Are you sure?”

  “Course I’m sure, he’s just told Steve in the toilets, didn’t know I was in there. How could she? Him of all people.”

  Callum scanned the crowded bar and, as he saw Myles heading for the door, he set off in pursuit. As he tried to push his way through the revellers, Steve, Rex and Simon caught up with him again.

  “Just wait!” shouted Steve. “Don’t start brawling in here, you’ll get us all arrested. You need to calm down.”

  Callum stopped and looked towards the exit. Myles had reached the door and, as he looked back over his shoulder, Callum caught his eye. Callum glared at him and as Myles hesitated for a brief moment, the bouncers, opening the door, asked him to wait. Glancing over his shoulder once again, Myles stood patiently aside as new punters walked in. Gently, Simon put his hand on Callum’s shoulder.

  “Let him go, mate,” he said. “This isn’t the place, the last thing you need is trouble with the police.” But Callum wasn’t listening, he was too busy watching the crowd coming through the door. It was Jess that he noticed first; he recognised her red coat. She was laughing as Thor put his arm protectively around her shoulders. Callum couldn’t believe it. It was the training night out. Breathing heavily, Callum waited, his eyes fixed upon the door. Eventually, as he’d anticipated, Maggie finally arrived.

  “Oh fuck,” sighed Rex. “Now Maggie and Rachael are here, that’s all we need.”

  Furious, Callum watched as Myles grabbed Maggie’s arm and after a brief conversation, she looked towards Callum. Seeing Callum surrounded by Rex, Steve and Simon, Maggie realised instantly what was going on. It didn’t take much to work out Callum’s state of mind, the concern on Simon’s face said it all.

  As she grabbed Rachael, Maggie was shaking.

  “What’s up, pet?” asked Rachael. “Are you OK?” But by the look of fear on Maggie’s face, she could tell that something was wrong.

  “Callum’s here,” she shouted in Rachael’s ear, “and so is Myles, and Callum’s just found out we’re having an affair. I need to go. Oh, good God, he’s coming over, quick! Grab Thor, we need to stop him. Myles!” she shouted at him, “just go, I’ll deal with this.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” replied Myles, “I’m not leaving you, we’ll deal with this outside.”

  Rachael, seeing immediately where this was heading, shouted to Thor to stop and as he turned around, Rachael signalled to him to come back. As he caught up with her, he could tell that something was wrong.

  “Callum Dunbar is here,” she shouted.

  “Great, where he is he?” replied Thor. “Is Rex here too?”

  “No, listen!” shouted Rachael. “Callum’s here and so is Myles, Maggie’s boyfriend. I think there’s going to be a fight. Maggie might need some help.”

  “Oh Christ,” sighed Thor, “I knew it.” And shouting to Kyle to follow him, Gemma and Jess looked on in confusion, as they both took off after Rachael.

  CHAPTER 67

  By the time Thor, Rachael and Kyle reached Maggie and Myles, Callum had arrived on the scene and, flanked by Simon, Steve and Rex, the atmosphere was tense. Standing outside, the bouncers had moved them on; if they were going to fight, they’d said, they didn’t want to have to deal with it. They had the reputation of the bar to think about, they didn’t want the police involved.

  Standing opposite Callum, Myles stood protectively in front of Maggie and as Rachael stood beside her, Thor and Kyle stood ready to intervene.

  “Who are those guys with Maggie?” whispered Steve to Rex.

  “The one with Maggie’s a personal trainer, don’t know who the other guy is,” replied Rex.

  “Maggie’s got a personal trainer?” asked Steve.

  “Yeah, Rachael, me and Callum, we all go,” said Rex.

  “Poor bastard,” replied Steve. “He must have the patience of a saint.”

  Callum made the first move.

  “How could you?” Callum hissed at Maggie. “With him? He’s got the morals of Caligula, you know that. How long’s it been going on for?”

  Maggie sighed. She might as well get it all out now; if she was going to take a lashing, she might as well confess all.

  “Since Portugal,” she whispered.

  “Portugal?” gasped Callum as he realised just what she was saying. “This all started in Portugal? How the hell did you manage that? You were only there for a couple of days.”

  Rex, who was now standing beside Rachael, was confused.

  “What was Maggie doing in Portugal?” he whispered. “I never saw her.”

  “Shh!” hissed Rachael. “I’m trying to listen.”

  Callum looked at Myles.

  “Where did it happen?”

  “It doesn’t matter, does it?” replied Myles.

  “You callous bastard,” Callum growled at Myles. “Of course it matters, because obviously as I was lying in my bed, you were casually fucking my wife.”

  “Callum, please. It wasn’t like that, it wasn’t his fault. I started it,” said Maggie. “I knew you didn’t love me anymore and I needed some attention. I was upset, you weren’t speaking to me, and Myles happened to be on hand.”

  “Yeah I bet he was!” snarled Callum. “He’d have been right in there like a fucking vulture.”

  “I’ve just told you, I started it, I seduced him,” said Maggie, exasperated.

  “But I bet he didn’t put up much of a fight, did he?” spat Callum.

  No one spoke. They were all trying to visualise Maggie seducing Myles Cavendish.

  “And were you two together last night? You were, weren’t you? Bloody Melanie from the book group, my arse?”

  Rex snorted. “Melanie?” he laughed. “Oh that’s fucking priceless, you’re never going to live that one down, pal.” Rex had no idea what was going on, but it was getting more and more interesting by the second. He w
as loving every minute of it. In comparison, he now looked like the Angel Gabriel.

  “Anyway, you’ve been having an affair, so what’s the difference? You stayed out on Saturday and you didn’t even have the courtesy to let me know,” said Maggie. “I know all about Emma Balfour, I even know what she looks like and I know you want a divorce so I don’t see what the problem is.”

  “Have you?” said Rex, looking at Callum. “I knew it. Unbelievable. You bloody liar, how long’s that been going on for? I told you,” he said to Steve. Steve signalled to him to zip it.

  “Shut up,” hissed Rachael, as she elbowed him. “This is nothing to do with you.”

  Callum stared at Maggie. “Well you’ve obviously been snooping and I think you’ll find it is different. Emma’s not one of your mates, for a start,” he replied.

  “Well I don’t think there is a difference, Callum,” interrupted Rachael. “One affair’s not better than another, they’re both bloody affairs for God’s sake.”

  “And I’m not your mate, you hate my guts, you always have done,” said Myles, finally putting up a fight. “And, if it’s any consolation, I never set out to seduce Maggie, it just happened. And I’ve fallen in love with her. If you had loved her, you wouldn’t be wanting a divorce. You haven’t loved her for years. She deserves better than that.”

  “Oh, that’s so romantic,” whispered Jess to Gemma, who had quietly arrived on the scene. “But poor Callum, I work with him, he’s a nice guy.”

  “Do you think this is what happens when you’ve been married a while?” whispered Gemma in reply.

  “God knows,” said Jess. She was totally enthralled. It was better than TV.

  “Oh, and you’re going to offer her a better life, are you?” continued Callum. “A fucking leopard doesn’t change its spots overnight, Myles, you prick. You’ll soon get bored.”

  “I want to marry her,” continued Myles.

  Jess nudged Gemma. They were both loving this.

  “Over my dead body,” snarled Callum. “I won’t let my girls anywhere near you. Christ, they’re about the same age as your last wife. If she marries you, she won’t see the girls, or the dogs. She’s not getting the house, she’s not getting anything.”

  “Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Callum,” sighed Maggie. “You’re sounding deranged now, just calm down.” Maggie couldn’t believe it, she’d ended up in a fight on the girls’ weekend and now here she was again, standing out in the street, trying to break up another one. It was becoming a habit. Post office Mavis would just love this.

  “I’m not deranged!” shouted Callum. “You’re the one that’s deranged, sleeping with him!”

  “Right, that it,” said Myles, lunging forward and taking a swing at Callum who –incredibly – had managed to duck. “Fucking take that back.”

  “No chance,” hissed Callum, taking a counter swing and completely missing.

  “Oh my God, stop them!” shouted Maggie as they grappled with each other. “Stop it, Myles, it’s not worth it. Callum, stop, you’ll get hurt or arrested, just stop it, both of you.”

  Quickly Thor and Kyle both grabbed Myles and held him back while Steve and Simon grabbed Callum. Gemma and Jess looked on at their heroes adoringly.

  “Leave it, mate,” whispered Thor to Myles. “He’s hurting enough, you can see that, don’t make it any worse. You’ve already got the girl. Just leave it.”

  Myles took a deep breath and, feeling him relax, Thor loosened his grip but as Myles took a step back, Maggie watched in disbelief as Callum extricated himself from his captors and flung himself again at Myles. Maggie shrieked and as she threw herself selflessly in between them, she connected beautifully with Callum’s fist. In unison, Rachael, Gemma and Jess let out a collective gasp and as Maggie swayed under a multitude of stars and angels, everyone watched in horror as she slowly keeled over and hit the deck.

  CHAPTER 68

  Sunday

  Thor Thorogood added courgetti to the boiling water and, picking up his phone, checked his diary. Two newbies this week. Two fresh lambs to the slaughter. Jason, a young lad desperate to get into the Marines, and Angela, a friend of Marnie’s, recently divorced and wanting to get fit enough to climb a mountain. She didn’t know which mountain yet but she’d asked her guardian angel for guidance and she was positive that he would send a sign soon. Thor was really looking forward to this one. He doubted whether any friend of Marnie’s would be sane. It would be interesting to see which mountain her angel came up with.

  Out of the blue, Savannah had also made contact and he was looking forward to seeing her again. She’d messaged him on Friday, apologising for cancelling and had asked for a new appointment. He’d booked her in for early Wednesday morning. He wouldn’t hold his breath.

  Stirring the courgetti, Thor Thorogood also shook the smoothie that he’d just made and, sniffing it, took a cautious mouthful. Kyle and Gemma had made up a new recipe which they’d asked him to try. Thankfully, it was surprisingly good. For two people who hadn’t liked vegetables, it was actually pretty impressive. Kyle had said that he’d also managed to cut an avocado without slitting his palms. Things were definitely looking up.

  Taking another mouthful, Thor’s thoughts strayed to Maggie and Callum and he grinned as he thought about the night out. He’d been right, it had definitely been eventful but he hadn’t bargained on Maggie ending up in accident and emergency; the last place any of them wanted to be on a Saturday night. Fortunately, she was just bruised and, stoically refusing any form of strong medication, Maggie had left the hospital in the care of Myles. She’d been more worried about the dogs than herself; someone had to let them out, after all. Thor wondered how they’d managed to work it all out. Maggie was pretty capable, she’d have managed it somehow. Thankfully, after the battle, Callum had calmed down and Steve had offered him a bed for the night. He hadn’t wanted to contact Emma as he wasn’t sure whether her husband was home. Emma didn’t need to know what had happened anyway, he’d said. The hypocrisy hadn’t been wasted on Rachael, and Thor had loved the way she’d managed to get a few digs in. Maggie might have been having a fling with one of his friends, she’d told Callum, but it was just as well that she was, because otherwise she’d have been on her own, wouldn’t she, after he’d left her for Emma. Callum hadn’t put up a fight; but he’d been totally humiliated by the unexpected revelations and Thor wondered whether they would ever be able to move on together as friends. One day in the future, maybe, but he doubted that Myles Cavendish would be on the next golf tour; the Portugal trip had probably been his last.

  With Maggie heading home and Callum in secure detention at Steve’s house, Thor, Jess, Gemma and Kyle had shared a post-fight-night analysis in a coffee bar with Rachael and Rex. Thor actually really liked Rex. Yes, he was a bit of a lad but he was very funny and Thor had noticed that Rachael was starting to find him amusing again too. Time spent together was proving to be a good healer. Jess had said to him that she hoped, when she’d been married a long time, her relationship would be like Rex and Rachael’s. Thor had tried not to laugh. No one ever really knew what went on behind closed doors. He hadn’t had the heart to tell her the truth and he couldn’t, of course, break his clients confidence. He also wondered whether Rex had managed to make it through the bedroom door that night. He was looking forward to teasing it out of Rachael tomorrow. She was so easy to wind up.

  He was also looking forward to working with Jason. If he was planning the Marines, he could push him hard. The lad needed to know what he was letting himself in for. It was also a relief that Jason was more interested in getting into the Marines than into someone’s bed and, by the look of his Facebook profile, he didn’t seem to have any issues in the dating department. For that, Thor was grateful; if he’d had another Kyle on his hands, he’d probably have just sent him to the fresh veg section at the supermarket. Thor just wanted to get people fit. He’d had enough of other people’s relationships for a while. The only relationship he wanted to concent
rate on from now on, was his own. He and Jess had managed the whole weekend without any hassle but he was still to be convinced that she could change her mind about him so easily. She’d got on with Gemma though; he’d like to give her one more chance.

  Turning off the courgetti, Thor turned off his phone. It was time to eat, switch off and chill. The emotional offloading had been off the charts this week, but neither Callum, Maggie, Rex nor Rachael had cancelled their sessions. He still had the fallout of the fight to deal with. Thor sighed. It was certainly going to be interesting. He would definitely write a book about it one day.

  THE END

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