Sweet Temptation

by Cora Reilly

  As if to remind me of that irrefutable fact, Simona’s cry blared through the baby monitor, destroying any hope of falling asleep soon.

  Giulia stirred beside me, a soft groan slipping out of those sweet lips. I turned the lights on and sat up. Another sleepless night.

  Giulia blinked against the brightness, obviously disoriented. “What’s going on?”

  “Simona wants the bottle.”

  Giulia nodded slowly and slipped out of bed. I stood as well.

  “You can sleep. I can handle it. I know you have to work tomorrow.”

  I paused, watching as she slipped out of our bedroom. After a moment, I followed. Giulia didn’t have experience with children as had become apparent last night. I wasn’t sure she could handle Simona. Especially at night, my daughter was demanding and her cries absolutely nerve-racking. Had Giulia the necessary calm to handle her?

  I didn’t think she’d ever hurt my children, she didn’t seem the type, but she was young. Feeling overwhelmed could be dangerous.

  Simona’s cries didn’t stop, but they lessened in intensity. I hovered in the doorway to her room, stunned by what I saw. Giulia had bought a sort of baby sling that allowed her to carry Simona against her chest and was currently trying to close it in her back. It was obviously the first time she tried to do it. I walked toward her and helped her. I’d never seen such a thing, so it took us a couple of tries to close it.

  “Thank you,” Giulia said. “I bought this today. The saleslady told me that it helps calm babies, so I thought I’d give it a try. It allows the child to feel connected to their mother…” She trailed off.

  Simona peered up at me, her head resting against Giulia’s chest.

  “Let’s get you something to eat, all right?” Giulia said softly and stroked Simona’s head. Then she smiled at me. “You can go back to sleep. My hands are free to prepare the bottle. See?” She raised her hands.

  I nodded slowly. Giulia pressed her palm against Simona’s butt and headed into the corridor, all the while talking quietly to my daughter whose cries became less frequent. I kept following them downstairs. The dog trotted after us into the kitchen and sat down beside Giulia when she began preparing the bottle. She swayed gently from side to side, humming, which seemed to have a calming effect on Simona, even if she still whined occasionally.

  Giulia threw a glance over her shoulder at me. “You don’t trust me to handle it yet, right?” She didn’t sound angry, only resigned.

  “It’s not a matter of trust.” But it was. I’d never been very trusting, and now my capacity for it was almost completely exploited.

  Giulia’s smile was sad. “It’s okay. They are your whole world. You want to protect them.” She tested the temperature of the milk then opened one strap of the sling so she could give the bottle to Simona who latched onto it at once. “I’m going to do my best to take care of them.”

  I believed her.

  Together, we walked back upstairs. I noticed the open door to Gaia’s old bedroom. Giulia followed my gaze. “Simona and I are fine, really.”

  I headed to the bedroom. As expected, Daniele lay curled up on the covers of the bed in a new pajama set with Superman signs all over it. My heart felt heavy seeing his small form. Whenever I looked at this bed, all I saw was blood, but he sought comfort here. I picked him up. He snuggled against my warmth, and I held him tighter. I wished he’d allow this closeness when he was awake too, like he used to do in the past. I took him to bed before I went to Simona’s nursery once more. Giulia sat in the rocking chair and fed Simona.

  Her expression became stern when she spotted me in the doorway. “Go to bed, Cassio. I mean it. I can handle this.”

  I retreated slowly and went to bed. It didn’t take long before I fell asleep. I only woke briefly when Giulia crept back into bed later, but I wasn’t sure what time it was. She lay down so close to me that I could feel her warmth, but I didn’t mind. I was already drifting off again when her fingertips lightly brushed my hand.

  Simona had woken one more time, but Giulia insisted I stay in bed as she took care of it.

  Maybe that was why I felt more relaxed this morning than I’d felt in a long time. Despite her lack of sleep, Giulia got up once I was done in the bathroom and slipped in herself.

  I went into Daniele’s room. He was awake, as usual at this time, already bent over his tablet. In the beginning I’d hide it from him, but when he played with that thing, it was the only time he looked even remotely happy, so I always gave it back to him. He didn’t look up when I entered, but his little shoulders hunched. I got down on my haunches beside his bed to be eye level with him. Still nothing.

  “Daniele, come on. Put that aside.” No reaction. I took it away, and he started screaming, but I put it up on a shelf. I picked him up despite his struggling. His refusal to be close to me cut worse than those whips had many years ago.

  I swallowed and put him down on the changing table. It was our ritual that I woke him. It had been like this since he was very small. He always loved our morning time… not anymore.

  His teary eyes slanted to something behind me. I turned, finding Giulia in the doorway, her eyes full of emotion and the dog on her arm.

  She came inside. “Loulou heard you crying and came up to check on you.”

  Daniele quieted, regarding the dog with big eyes.

  Giulia stopped beside the changing table so the dog could look down at Daniele and Daniele up at it. I undressed him and for once he didn’t fight. His wide eyes were fixated on the dog as I changed his diaper. Giulia took clothes out of the wardrobe and put them down beside me. Jeans, socks that looked like sneakers, and a sweater with the words “Big brother.”

  “You get to wear your big brother shirt today,” she said, grinning.

  Daniele’s mouth trembled into a small smile, and I had to look away for a moment. Clearing my throat, I said, “You are a good big brother. Simona needs you at her side.”

  Daniele nodded slowly and let me put the clothes on. He could dress himself, more or less, but as with so many other things, he refused to do it since his mother’s death. I lifted him off the table but didn’t put him down so he could walk as I usually would have done. I pressed him to my body. His eyes remained on Loulou, but at least he didn’t try to squirm away from me.

  “Let’s check on Simona,” I said.

  We headed into Simona’s room together, and Giulia set Loulou down so she could pick up Simona. The dog trotted out of the room to do whatever it had in mind, probably pee on the expensive rugs. The moment it was out of sight, Daniele became restless. I lowered him to the floor before he could start to cry. He immediately walked away, probably to go in search of his tablet. Giulia held Simona but looked at me. The compassion in her expression didn’t infuriate me this morning. It only made me feel wistful. With Simona on her arm, she came over to me and touched my chest. “He’ll come around. Give it time. It takes time to heal.”

  Would she be as optimistic if she knew what had happened?

  I glanced down at my watch. “I need to go now.” Then, and I wasn’t sure why I cupped her cheek and pressed a light kiss to her mouth. “I appreciate your efforts.”

  Surprise crossed her face. The same surprise I felt since minute one of our marriage. She wasn’t anything like I expected. She could have given in to teenage hysterics, but instead she tried to handle the tasks of her new life.

  She handled them in a kind and lovely way. She seemed too good to be true.

  I pulled back and went downstairs. Elia waited for me in front of my car to get further instructions. Remembering last night and this morning, a hint of reluctance filled me when I thought about my arrangement with Elia, but it wasn’t enough to make me abandon the matter. Giulia had done nothing to deserve this, but I needed certainty before her loveliness had me wrapped around her finger and made me blind to a hurtful truth.

  My kids wouldn’t survive a repeat performance of their mother’s demise.

  My chest
ached thinking of Cassio’s morning encounter with Daniele. I could tell that Cassio hurt because of his son’s reaction to him. I needed to help somehow, but first I needed to figure out why Daniele acted the way he did. For some reason, I couldn’t imagine that Cassio had hurt his son in any way. Cassio was certainly capable of the most depraved acts imaginable. The rumors of his business practices had reached even my ears in Baltimore, but the way he looked at his children, it was clear he loved them. No, it was something else between them. I had a feeling it had something to do with Gaia, which was a problem because Cassio refused to talk about her. Daniele didn’t speak at all, and I wasn’t sure if it was wise to mention his mother around him. I made my way into the kitchen with Simona in my arms and Daniele tiptoeing after me. His face was tear-stained because he couldn’t find his tablet. I’d seen it up on the shelf in his room, but decided not to give it to him. He needed to learn to be without that thing. It wasn’t healthy how fixated he was on technology.

  Sybil was already making waffles. The kitchen smelled of vanilla and warm dough.

  Elia and Domenico weren’t there yet, but I knew they were somewhere in the house or Cassio wouldn’t have left. Loulou slipped under the table, probably hoping for a repeat performance, but sweets definitely weren’t good for a dog. I approached Sybil as Daniele knelt in front of the table to watch Loulou. “Let her come to you, Daniele. She’s shy. Eventually, she’ll come. Give her time, okay?”

  He nodded absentmindedly, but didn’t move otherwise.

  “Can you cook some bacon as well?”

  “For the dog?” Sybil guessed.

  “I don’t want to force him to eat. Not when he doesn’t trust me yet. This is the only way he’ll have breakfast.”

  She nodded. She still didn’t look as if she approved, but she took bacon from the fridge.

  “Thank you.”

  Elia soon joined us, but Domenico stayed away. To my surprise, he sat down beside me. Like yesterday, his smile was quick, his eye contact a bit too intimate, and his arm brushed mine twice “by accident.”

  I wasn’t the only one who noticed because Sybil sent him a sharp look.

  I ignored it, unsure what else to do. My plan to get Daniele to eat worked like it had yesterday. Loulou got a tiny piece of bacon for every bite of waffle and banana that Daniele ate. It was a win-win situation as far as I was concerned, and Loulou definitely agreed.

  “I thought we could all go for a walk together, so Loulou gets to see something new?” I said to Daniele. His nod was quick and his obvious excitement kindled my own.

  “That sounds good. The weather is nice and it’s not too cold. I know a nice park not too far away,” Elia said.

  “Great.” I got up. “Why don’t you go ahead and prepare everything while I have a word with Sybil.”

  Elia glanced between Sybil and me before he rose and left.

  Taking the dishes to the sink where Sybil was scrubbing the pan, I said, “You worked here from day one of Cassio’s marriage to Gaia, right?” I said in a low voice so the children wouldn’t hear me. I didn’t know it for a fact, but the look on Sybil’s face confirmed my assumption.

  “I did.”

  She avoided my eyes by putting the dishes into the dishwasher.

  “How was she?”

  My parents had met her at official functions, of course. She’d been a lady, always perfectly styled, but that didn’t mean anything. Outward appearances and what went on behind closed doors were two very different things. “I only worked for her. I didn’t know her.”

  I gave her a disbelieving look. “How can you work for someone for years and not know them?”

  Sybil closed the dishwasher then busied herself with wiping the counters. “She kept her distance. She never had breakfast in the kitchen. She preferred me to get my tasks done as quickly as possible so I could leave.” She shook her head. “If you want to know more, you’ll have to talk to the master. But I don’t think you should.”

  With Simona strapped to my front and Daniele in his buggy, we strolled through the park toward a fenced-in dog area. Domenico kept his distance, pretending he was a casual walker, but Elia stayed at my side. For an outsider, it looked as if we were a couple. Elia definitely played that card, considering how close he walked beside me. Loulou dashed off the moment I unleashed her and soon chased around with other dogs.

  “Must be strange,” Elia began, sitting down beside me on the bench. “To live in a foreign city with a man you hardly know.”

  Daniele followed the playing dogs with his eyes. That fascinated look usually only managed to appear on his face when he stared at the screen. Simona, too, watched with big eyes.

  “I’ve been prepared for that kind of life since I was a little girl. The rules in our world have been the same for a long time.”

  “They are, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy to stick to them.”

  I turned to Elia. The way he looked at me, like he wanted to see what it would take to get a rise out of me, raised my protective walls. “Do you make a habit of breaking the rules?”

  He smiled as if he was going to tell me a secret. “It can be freeing.”

  He was flirting with me. Loulou yelped then squeaked. My head jerked around. A bigger dog was trying to mount her. “Can you help her?”

  Elia didn’t hesitate. He jumped up and jogged toward the two dogs. The owner of the other dog, a young man with glasses and a hipster beard did the same. They managed to separate the dogs. To my surprise, they began to chat.

  Elia smiled the same smile he’d given me all day, but this was less expectant, less challenging. It was naturally flirtatious, one he didn’t have to force. The hipster guy laughed, still holding his small bulldog by the collar. Elia grinned, but then he noticed my gaze and his demeanor shifted. He said something else then hurried back to me with Loulou on his arm.

  I searched his face. For a moment, back there, he’d looked like I’d caught him. Maybe Elia was breaking the rules, but not in a way he’d insinuated to me. Now it made sense why Cassio had chosen such an attractive man to guard me. Elia wasn’t a danger in his eyes. I could probably parade around naked all day and Elia wouldn’t care in the slightest.

  We returned home much earlier than planned because Simona had a never-ending crying fit. She wouldn’t let me calm her no matter what I did. Daniele, too, got cranky because of it, but Loulou’s presence prevented his meltdown at least. When I finally managed to have Simona settle down for a nap after what felt like hours, I felt drained. I’d considered calling Cassio to ask for his help because unlike Daniele, Simona quieted as soon as her dad was close. Now I was glad that I managed without calling him.

  I didn’t want him to think I couldn’t handle the situation. My clothes were drenched with sweat when I sank down on the sofa minutes after Simona had fallen asleep. Daniele sat on the floor, his tablet on his lap. I’d given in and returned it to him. If he also had started wailing like Simona, I would have started crying too.

  Elia came toward me, carrying two cups. “You look like you need a coffee.”

  “I need a drink and a shower.” Despite my lack of experience with alcohol, I suddenly got why people craved a drink after days like this.

  He laughed then handed me the cup. “Coffee is a start, don’t you think?”

  He sat down beside me, again closer than was appropriate. This time it didn’t bother me because now I knew the truth. I took a sip of the black coffee. Usually I drank mine with milk and sugar, but this felt good now. I regarded Elia openly, not even bothering to hide my attention. He wore a tight white shirt that accentuated his muscles and a black gun holster over it. I wondered if he was good with weapons, if that was at least part of the reason why Cassio had chosen him—or maybe his presence was only as a trap.

  Cassio had set Elia up to do this. I had no doubt about it. Cassio was jealous. He had admitted it himself, and Faro and Mansueto had confirmed it too. I hadn’t expected him to be jealous enough to trick me lik
e that, though. It infuriated me, but beyond that, it made me really sad. If Cassio trusted me this little, we had a long way to go for this marriage to work.

  I set the cup down on the table then faced Elia. I leaned closer, gauging his reaction. “I’ve been asking myself a question…”

  His eyes shifted to caution, but the smile remained plastered on his face

  “Does Cassio know?” I murmured.

  His smile became less honest. “Know what?”

  “That you like men.”

  For an instant, Elia’s expression slipped before he could control it again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh yeah?” I said. “I saw how you checked out that guy in the dog park. You were flirting with him like you’ve been pretending to flirt with me. I’m not blind. Maybe the men in our world don’t notice because they prefer to see what they want to see, but I don’t care if you like men or women. Love is love.”

  Elia shook his head. “I didn’t check anyone out. You can’t go around saying something like that. You know what would happen to me if those rumors spread.”

  “I have absolutely no intention of telling anyone. It’s your personal business,” I said. Officially, there weren’t any gay Made Men. It was ridiculous. Boys learned to hide it if they liked other boys or they got killed. That was the only reason why there weren’t any gay men in our circles. “But Cassio knows.”

  I could practically see Elia’s thoughts racing as he tried to get me off track. “If he thought I was gay, he’d kill me. The mafia doesn’t tolerate fags.”

  I smiled. The insult was a nice touch. It didn’t work. “No, unless you don’t make it public. And sometimes it comes in handy to have gay soldiers, especially if someone’s as jealous as Cassio seems to be.”

  Elia didn’t say anything. I could see that he was completely thrown off. “This is—”