by TJ Klune
And I was on my way to having a terrifically terrifying orgasm in front of people I considered to be my family.
I stood abruptly, barely in control of my hips. I gasped as the vibrations continued. Jeremy looked slowly up at me, the horror on his face increasing until I thought he was going to pass out right then and there.
“It won’t turn off,” I hissed at him. “What did you do?”
“What! I didn’t do anything! This is all your fault. You put it up there—” His eyes widened as he coughed roughly. “I mean, I have no idea what we’re talking about.”
“Oh darn,” Nana said. “I was about to win the game.”
I looked around in a panic, trying to find an escape route. For a second I thought about going over the balcony, but I would probably end up only getting halfway over before I started rutting against the railing.
It was then my savior came for me, swift and true.
A hand closed tightly around my arm, pulling me toward the door. “Paul,” Helena snapped over her shoulder, feathers trailing behind her. “Come with us. Now.”
Paul didn’t even question it. He followed us as we reached the door. I heard Jeremy start to follow, but Helena shot him a look that told him it would be in his best interest if he stayed right where he was if he wanted to live a long and fruitful life. Apparently he seemed to decide to take the chance, but Vince stopped him.
I was groaning in pleasure as Helena led me down the stairs.
“What the hell is happening to him?” Paul said from behind us.
“Not now,” Helena said.
She burst through the door into the bar. The bouncer looked at her questioningly. She ignored him as she snarled at people to get the hell out of her way. The crowd parted immediately, and I wanted to tell her she was a gay Moses, but the egg felt like it was right near my damn prostate, and all that came out of my mouth was a long moan that sounded like I was either dying or getting royally fucked.
It felt like both.
“Oh my god,” Paul said, sounding scandalized. “I never want to hear you make that sound again. What the hell is wrong with you!”
I glared at him over my shoulder and was ready to tell him off, but all that came out was “Yessssssss, Paul.”
He paled. “Oh no,” he whispered. “Sex face.”
We went out the back door of the bar to the patio, Helena shouting at everyone to get the fuck out of her way. I didn’t know what they thought was happening. There was a furious drag queen screaming at them, dragging someone who looked like they were having a seizure, followed by a man who seemed to want to be anywhere else.
All in all, not one of my better nights.
We were off the patio and out the back of Jack It. Sandy went to the small trailer sitting behind the bar and threw open the door, pulling me up inside.
Mike, the oily owner of Jack It, looked up at us in surprise from behind his desk. To make matters worse, there was a twink on his knees in front of him, and Mike didn’t seem to be wearing pants.
And I was still turned on.
“Helena,” Mike said angrily as the twink fled, lips swollen for reasons I never wanted to think about again. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Pull up your pants and get the fuck out,” Helena growled at him. “You have five seconds.”
“Now see here—”
“Four seconds.”
“I don’t—”
“Three seconds.”
Mike pulled up his pants, and I tried to keep from groaning, but I couldn’t stop.
“Is he all right?” Mike asked as he buckled his belt.
“Get out!” Helena roared.
Mike meeped and followed his twink du jour, slamming the door behind him.
“What is happening to him?” Paul demanded as Helena stepped back.
“He needs to lay an egg,” Helena said, shoving me around the desk. Behind it, because Mike was a kitschy bitch, was a cheap dressing screen with printed flowers on it.
“What.”
“Stupid child,” Helena muttered at me. “We’re going to have some words, you can trust me on that. But first, get that thing out your butt. Lay your damn egg!”
“What!” Paul screamed.
I could relate; I too felt like screaming.
It was close, that race to the finish. Helena left me behind the screen just as I dropped my jeans to the floor. There was a wet spot on my underwear, my dick straining through the fabric. I almost chose to let myself finish, but Paul was still making noises like I was, and I made the split-second decision that we weren’t that kind of friends.
I did the only thing I could.
For lack of a better phrase (oh, how crass I could be!), I laid the egg.
I pulled on the strap as hard as I could, and the vibrations ceased almost immediately.
“Nooo,” Paul was moaning. “Oh god, I heard that. Why? Whyyyy?”
I gasped in relief as I dropped the egg onto the floor. I still felt like I was buzzing, even though the egg was gone, and I bit into my lip to try to distract myself.
The egg vibrated along the floor, rattling against one of the legs of the desk before it died a welcome death.
Silence filled the trailer.
I waited as I struggled to breathe, hoping they would just leave and we would never speak about this again.
They didn’t.
“So,” I finally said as my dick started to wilt. “What are the chances that no one asks any questions and we go back and try to enjoy our night?”
“Slim to none,” Helena said in that tone of voice that told me I was adorable for even trying.
“Yeah,” I mumbled. “I figured.”
“The sooner you come out here, the sooner we can deal with this.”
“I’d rather not, if it’s all the same to you.”
“I’m with Corey,” Paul said, sounding traumatized. “I don’t want to deal with any of this.”
“Pull up your pants, baby doll, and get out here.”
I sighed as I did just that. I fastened my jeans and walked out around the screen, refusing to look at them.
“Speak,” Helena demanded.
I threw up my hands. “It’s your fault! You bought it for me!”
“I did,” Helena agreed. “But I thought you were going to use it in private.”
“What is happening!” Paul yelled.
Helena rolled her eyes. “I bought Corey a sex toy that he shoved up his ass in public.”
“You what?”
“It’s okay,” Helena said. “I have Amazon Prime, so I got free shipping.”
“That doesn’t mean anything!” Paul shouted at her.
Yes. Paul was on my side, though he didn’t know it. With our powers combined, we could take on the Queen. It was the last level. The final boss fight. We had this. “Yeah! That doesn’t mean anything. And it’s not my fault that I came up with the idea to use it in public! Jeremy was supposed to be in control of it on my phone, but he gave it to Nana instead!”
Paul stopped yelling.
They both turned slowly to look at me.
I frowned. “What’s going on? What’s happening here? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Baby doll,” Helena purred, tapping her nails on the desk in front of her. “Can you say that one more time?”
I squinted at her. “It doesn’t mean anything? And it’s not my fault? Because Jeremy was supposed to be… in control… of… oh no.”
“Yes,” Helena said, eyes glittering. “Oh no indeed.”
Paul looked shocked. “Why the hell would Jeremy be in control of—wait. Hold up a minute. Jeremy was in control of your sex toy? Which means he knew about it. Which means you talked about it.” He gasped dramatically. “You two are fucking!”
I panicked. “No we’re not! There’s been no fucking! There has been no insertion of any body parts ever!”
Helena was on the hunt. She leaned forward, pressing her hands flat against the desk. She bared
her teeth at me. “Really. You expect me to believe that?”
She was trying to hypnotize me. Well, too bad! It wouldn’t work! She wasn’t going to get my secrets. “We haven’t. The only thing we’ve done is kissed once and then dirty talked to each other while we sat on opposite sides of his office door as we jerked off!” I inhaled sharply as I extended a trembling figure toward her. “Witch! You are trying to enchant me!”
“Holy sweat balls,” Paul breathed. “You were right.”
“I know voodoo! And Krav Maga! I will fight you both until you die and—” I stopped in the middle of my very serious threats as I replayed Paul’s words in my mind. “What did he mean you were right?”
Helena stood upright, the top of her head almost hitting the ceiling. She shrugged. “I thought you and Jeremy were already fucking but trying to keep it a secret because he’s your boss and it’s a stupid thing to be doing.”
I groaned as I put my face in my hands. “How the hell did you figure that out? We were so careful.”
“Really,” Helena said dryly. “That’s what you’re going with. Careful. After denying it directly to our faces for so long. How precious you are.”
My throat started to constrict, and my eyes burned. I dropped my hands and looked away from them, trying to regain control. I didn’t know why this was affecting me as much as it was. But all I could hear in my head was her words repeating: it’s a stupid thing to be doing.
“Oh hey, no,” Helena said, dropping the act. She came around the desk and wrapped her arms around me. I buried my face against her bosom as she stroked the back of my neck. “Corey. Come on. We were just playing. I’m sorry if we took it too far. It’s okay, I promise.”
I nodded against her chest, breathing heavily.
Paul came around the other side of the desk so that he stood behind me. He rubbed a hand up and down my back. “Yeah, I’m sorry too. I mean, I’m not sorry for freaking out about the whole laying an egg thing, but the other stuff? Sure.”
“It’s a stupid thing to be doing,” I managed to say.
“Yeah,” Helena said gently. “It is. If it’s just fucking around. Because that could backfire, and I would hate to see that if it happened. You’ve worked so hard to get this far.”
“And if it’s not just fucking around?” I whispered.
“Talking about if it’s more than that?” Paul asked. “Like, feelings and junk?”
Leave it to Paul to cut to the heart of the matter with feelings and junk. “Yeah.”
“Is it?” Helena asked.
I shrugged. But they knew what I meant.
“And is it reciprocated?”
I shrugged again before nodding.
Helena sighed as she squeezed the back of my neck. “Of course it is. Because you’re you, and he would be the luckiest guy in the world.”
I sniffed as I lifted my head, looking up her. She loosened her arms and pulled back to cup my face, thumbs brushing against my wet cheeks. “This was just… dumb.”
Paul snorted from behind me. “That’s an understatement.”
“But he likes me. He says… he says it’s real for him.”
Paul sighed. “Dammit. Now I love him too.”
I needed them to understand. “And we haven’t… we’re not doing anything. Yet. Because of Phoenix House.”
“Just jerking off with each other and putting sex toys up your ass,” Helena said.
“Yeah. There is that.”
“When did it start?”
I looked away from them. “Nothing happened until the dinner with the Super Gays.”
“What?” Helena asked. “That recent? Shit. I thought it was going on all summer.”
I laughed hollowly. “I think it was building toward that. But he said….” I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. I just don’t want to fuck this up. And I think I did.”
“Nah,” Paul said. “It’s just going to be one of those stories. Like when Vince ran into my car.”
Helena smiled. “Or when Darren and I faked sex in order to convince people in the bar we were fucking.”
I groaned. “That makes things worse. I don’t want to be like you guys!”
She snorted inelegantly. “Too late, baby doll. You have your very own I can’t believe I just did that story. And Paul, you are a fucking liar. You hit Vince with your car, don’t even front.”
Paul threw up his hands. “I don’t even know why I try anymore.”
“It’s real, though?” Helena asked me.
I nodded.
“Maybe even a little more than that?”
I hesitated before nodding again. It was stunning to think about, how something could sneak up on me like that. But there it was. The idea that Jeremy could… that we could be something more—
“I can’t believe we’re talking about love stuff after Corey laid an egg,” Paul said. “Our lives are terrible.”
“Maybe,” Helena said. “But I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”
And because we couldn’t not, Paul and I hugged her as hard as we could.
She laughed as she wrapped her arms around us. “That’s the good stuff right there.”
Paul turned his head toward me so our noses were almost touching. “And just so you stop freaking out, Helena and I are the only ones who know.”
I blinked. “You didn’t tell Vince or Darren?”
He shook his head. “Seemed like a good idea that we keep it to ourselves. We figured if we were right, it’d be better if it came from you. And we didn’t know if it was just fucking or whatever. We didn’t want to mess it up for you.”
“I love you guys.”
“Us too, baby doll,” Helena said into the top of my head. “More than you could possibly know.”
We didn’t hear the door opening. We didn’t know how long he’d been standing there. But when Jeremy said, “Can I steal Corey for a second?” we all jumped apart.
He stood in the doorway to the trailer looking concerned. He only had eyes for me.
Helena cupped my face. “Is that all right?”
I nodded.
She leaned forward and left a sticky kiss on my cheek. She winked at me before turning around and walking toward the door. She stopped in front of Jeremy, hands on her hips. She was towering over him, and Jeremy swallowed thickly. “I cherish you,” Helena purred.
“Oh. Um. Thank you?”
“Oh, you’re so welcome,” Helena said. “Just thought you should know.” He stepped back to allow her and Paul to leave. I wasn’t surprised when she stopped. “Oh, and Jeremy?”
He looked back at her.
“You fuck this up and there will be nowhere you can run that I won’t find you. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. You will know only fear for the rest of your days.” She smacked his ass as she cackled wildly.
“Yeah,” Paul said, and I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve these people. “What she said.” He jerked his entire body toward Jeremy and seemed pleased when he recoiled slightly. “Also, you’re pretty cool or whatever.”
“What the fuck?” Jeremy asked faintly as they headed back into the bar.
“They’re a little… much.” I shook my head. “How much did you hear?”
Jeremy turned back to me. He took a deep breath before he climbed into the trailer and shut the door behind him. “Enough.”
I shuffled my feet against the floor. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“So… any chance we can just forget all of this?”
“Slim to none.”
“Great,” I muttered.
“Look, Corey….”
I snapped my head up, because I didn’t like the sound of that. His brow was furrowed, and he ran a hand over his beard. “Oh. I mean, I’m sorry? I know it’s a lot, and maybe I should have—”
He held up a hand, and I fell silent. “It’s not… that.”
Ugh. If he was going to break my heart, I’d rather not be in a trailer where a twink had just bee
n sucking off Mike. I hated everything. “Okay. Then what is it?”
“It’s a lot. You’re a lot.”
I tried to hide how much that stung. I didn’t think I was very successful. “I don’t mean to be,” I said in a small voice.
His eyes widened. “No. That’s not what I—argh. I’m doing this all wrong. Okay. I want you to listen to me. Hear everything I’m saying. Let me finish. Deal?”
“Deal.”
He looked relieved. “I’ve never really had… this. Before. Someone like you. It’s just never worked out for me like that. And it’s wonderful. And terrifying. You’re so fucking young, and part of me wants to step back and let you live your life.”
“But—”
“Not finished yet,” he said, not unkindly. “Because there is a bigger part of me that doesn’t give a shit about that, and I don’t feel as guilty about it as I probably should. I told you that this was real for me. And I meant every word. You… you’re one of the greatest things that’s ever happened to me. You’re the better part of my every day. And I can’t imagine a life anymore where you’re not in it, in one capacity or another. You’re fierce. And strong. And you make my world a better place.”
“Same,” I said awkwardly. “I mean, you know. You for me. And stuff.”
He snorted. “Gee. Thanks. The and stuff part really cemented that.”
I glared at him.
“I need you to know that this is a big deal for me,” he said. “And while maybe we could have forgone the whole egg thing, I wouldn’t change any part of it.”
“You’re telling me,” I mumbled. “I just had to pull it out of my ass in front of Paul and Helena.”
He coughed roughly. “That’s… I don’t know what that is.”
“It’s fucked-up.”
“Yeah. A little.” He shook his head. “You’re making me lose track of what I’m trying to say.” He moved until he was in front of me. He took my hands in his, squeezing gently. It was the first time we’d really touched since that night in his office. It felt good. It felt… right. “So here’s the deal. I care about you. And that’s probably an understatement. More than you could possibly know.”
