Why We Fight (At First Sight Book 4)

by TJ Klune

  I set down the office phone in the cradle.

  I barely had time to process when there was a knock on the door and it opened. A skinny boy with scraggly facial hair and a bar through his eyebrow walked in. “Hey. I thought you were still here. Wanted to bring you this.”

  Diego walked over to my desk and handed me a file. He was interning with Phoenix House as part of his classwork. He’d grown up to be devilishly handsome, but even more so, one of the most kindhearted people I’d ever known. “What is it?”

  He shrugged. “Marina said you’d want to see it. It’s about one of the kids here. Seems like there was some issues at the school.” He looked troubled. “They’re enby, and it looks like they’re getting shit for it.”

  Ah. So that explained the look on his face. “Thanks. I’ll take a look at it.” I thought about letting it go, but I had to ask. “Heard from Kai lately?”

  He looked away. “A few weeks ago. They’re… doing good. They’ve got a life out in California. It’s working for them.”

  I nodded, carefully choosing my words. “Ever think about going out to visit?”

  He sighed. “Maybe. I don’t know. Things are different now, you know? They’ve got their own thing going on, and so do I. We’ve been broken up for four years, Kori. It’s not like I’m pissed about it anymore. They needed to do what they needed to do. And so did I.”

  I didn’t know if I believed that. You never forgot your first heartbreak. But it wasn’t for me to push any more than I already had. “All right. Well, next time you speak to them, let them know I said hello.”

  He nodded, looking relieved. “Will do. Marina told me to tell you if you were still here that it’s a Saturday and you need to leave. And she’s right. You work too much. That file can wait until Monday.”

  It probably could, but I already knew I was going to take it home with me. Part of the job.

  Diego said he’d see me later, which meant he was probably going to show up at Jack It for the show tonight. Ever since he’d turned twenty-one, he’d become a fixture at the bar. He’d even danced a time or two in nothing but a jockstrap on one of Mike’s twink nights, but Sandy and I had shut that down immediately. He’d been pissed at me for a few weeks, but I wouldn’t let Mike get his hands on him.

  My cell vibrated on the desk.

  A text message.

  Here. You ready?

  I smiled.

  Be right out.

  I grabbed the file and put it in my satchel along with my laptop before heading for the door.

  MARINA WAVED at me as I walked to the front of Phoenix House. She promised she’d be leaving soon too, and that she’d see me next week.

  I walked out into the hot sunshine.

  A yellow Jeep sat idling at the curb. I had my own car now, but it was in the shop, and he’d driven me in today.

  Jeremy looked up at me, already smiling. He lifted his sunglasses up off his face, setting them on top of his head. “Hey.”

  “Hey,” I said as I climbed into the Jeep.

  He leaned over and kissed me, long and sweet. “Good day?” he asked as he pulled back.

  “Long day,” I corrected. “How’s the backyard going?”

  “It’s a fucking mess,” he said with a scowl. “I can’t believe we didn’t know how shitty the soil was. The inspection should have found that out. But now we’re stuck with it.”

  We pulled away from the curb, and I let my hand hang on the outside of the Jeep. The radio was on, and the news was being announced. I heard them say Andrew Taylor’s last appeal had been denied and he had run out of options. The newscaster moved on to national news, saying former President Donald Trump had gone on a hunger strike and that officials in the prison he was in were considering their options. I reached over and switched off the radio. “We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

  He sighed. “I know. I just want it to be perfect. Dad said I was worrying too much about it.”

  “You probably were. If you just called in someone to do it—”

  “I can fix it—”

  “Because of course you have to be such a man about it—”

  “The best man,” he said, puffing out his chest. Forty-one looked good on Jeremy Olsen. It was giving me the idea that perhaps I would also look good on him.

  “The best man,” I said, leaning over and biting his earlobe. “What say I show you when we get home?”

  He laughed. “Dad’s over with Charlie. They wanted to see what I was doing before they decided what to do with their own backyard. Rain check? Specifically after the show tonight?”

  “After the show,” I agreed. “Maybe I can even find that toy again and we can make the night even more egg-citing.”

  He tilted his head back and laughed.

  JACK IT was crowded as usual by the time we arrived. We avoided most of the people by immediately heading for the stairs to the Queen’s Lair. Jeremy smacked my ass as he followed me. I growled playfully over my shoulder.

  “And I don’t know why you think this is a good idea,” Paul was saying when we reached the top of the stairs. “Jesus, Helena. There are public indecency laws. I can almost see your asshole in that outfit.”

  Helena rolled her eyes as Darren finished lacing up her boots. Paul wasn’t wrong. Helena’s ass was hanging out, barely covered by anything. It was a good ass but more than I’d ever seen her put on display. “I’m getting older, Paul. One day all of this majestic beauty will start to fall apart and I’ll be left with nothing but sagging skin and an undeserved sense of accomplishment that makes everyone around me uncomfortable. Since I still have it, I am going to flaunt it.”

  “Children,” Charlie muttered to Robert. “No self-awareness whatsoever.”

  “Youth is wasted on the young,” Robert agreed. “But we should let them have their moment. I like our sagging skin. It makes us look distinguished.”

  “You don’t complain when I wear a jockstrap and nothing else,” Vince said to Paul. “Isn’t this pretty much the same thing?”

  Paul threw up his hands. “No, because I don’t want to stick my dick in Sandy.”

  “Oh,” Vince said. “That’s good. Because I wouldn’t like it if you did that either. You can stick it in me when we go home. I can wear that cowboy hat you like.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Save a horse, ride a Paul.”

  “Gross,” Helena, Darren, and I said at the same time.

  “You’re late,” Helena snapped at me, staring at me in the reflection of the mirror as she put the finishing touches on her makeup. “You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago.”

  “We would have been,” Jeremy said, “but Kori got distracted by work stuff.”

  Helena’s expression softened. “All right?”

  I nodded before kissing Vince on the cheek. “It’s fine. Just looking over some files. Nothing to worry about.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “I am.”

  “Good,” Helena said. “Especially since I’m done being altruistic for the evening. Everyone, tell me I look beautiful and that there has never been a queen such as me.”

  We did, but only because it was true.

  She preened at the praise like a show dog in makeup and sequins.

  Darren gave me a quick side hug and nodded at Jeremy before he followed Helena down the stairs. “Looking good, Kori,” he called over his shoulder.

  God bless the Homo Jock King.

  AFTER THE show, Charlie decided it was time for him and Robert to get home. “We’re not getting any younger,” he muttered as he hugged me. “I might have to start training someone else to work the cameras at some point.”

  “Nah,” I said as he pulled away. “You still got this, Daddy.”

  He snorted. “Girlie, my aches have aches. You’ll find out one day. Still on for lunch tomorrow?”

  Jeremy had had a harder time than his father had when they’d moved out of the house, Robert with Charlie and Jeremy with me into our new house. But Robert had told hi
m it was time he moved on with his own life and let Robert live his. An agreement had been made for Sunday lunches with just the four of us. At Charlie’s diner, of course. “Still on. We’ll pick you up.”

  He turned to say good night to the others as Robert came over to me. He moved a little slower than he had when I first met him, but both he and Charlie were in good health. “When are you going to make an honest man out of my son?” he whispered.

  “Soon,” I promised him. “He doesn’t know, does he?”

  Robert shook his head. “Hasn’t said anything to me.”

  “Gonna wait until after Ty’s wedding. I don’t want to take away from that.”

  “I’m going to hold you to it,” he said before kissing my forehead. “I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I grinned at him. “Love you too, Dad.”

  “What are you two gossiping about?” Jeremy asked, a frown on his face.

  “None of your business,” Robert said, tapping the end of his cane against Jeremy’s hip. “Nosy. Just like when you were a child. One would think you would have grown out of that. We weren’t even talking about you.” Robert winked at me.

  “Right,” Jeremy said slowly. “You’re both up to something. Don’t think I don’t see it.” He shook his head. “I’m going to walk Dad and Charlie out to their car. Be back in a minute.”

  I nodded as they headed for the door.

  And just like that, it was the three of us: Helena (in the process of becoming Sandy again), Paul, and me. Vince and Darren were downstairs. They’d come up in a little while and we’d all go home. We didn’t stay out as late as we used to. Being in public was exhausting. I was already thinking about the couch at home.

  But for now, all was well.

  “It’s weird, right?” I asked suddenly.

  “What is?” Paul asked as Sandy handed him the wig.

  “This. Everything.”

  “That’s… vague,” Sandy said. “What do you mean, baby doll?”

  I didn’t know exactly, but I followed the thread as best I could. “That we’re where we are now and all still together. How many people can say that?”

  “We do have it pretty good,” Paul agreed. “Charlie reminded me the other day about when we met him and Vaguyna the first time. Lulu Deerdancer.”

  Sandy laughed. “Holy shit. I forgot about that! What the hell were we thinking?”

  “I was thinking it was a bad idea,” Paul snapped. “But you made me wear that goddamn mustache.”

  “Oh Christ! And then you sneezed it on his face.” Sandy wiped the tears from his eyes. “God, I thought he was going to murder you right then and there.”

  “I don’t know how we survived this long,” Paul muttered.

  “Why the introspection, baby doll?” Sandy asked me. He was watching Paul with a fond expression on his face.

  I shrugged. “Just… I don’t know. We’ve been through so much shit, and yet we’re happy, you know? It doesn’t feel real, sometimes.”

  “I get it,” Paul said. “I think that sometimes too. But Vince tells me that it is, and then I remember that I deserve this. We all do. We get to be happy just like everyone else. Some people might not agree, but they can fuck off. I’m not here for them. I’m here for Vince. And for all of you.”

  “You think we’re always going to be together?” I asked.

  “Come here, Kori.”

  I went. I didn’t even try and fight it when Sandy pulled me down on his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist. He pressed his nose against the side of my head and breathed in. Paul came to stand behind us, putting his hands on our shoulders. “This,” Sandy said as the music thrummed on the dance floor, “this is always going to be real. Us. And Vince. And Darren and Jeremy. Nana and Charlie and Robert and Matty and Larry. No matter where we go, no matter what we do, this is always going to be real.”

  “It’s not like we can go make friends with other people,” Paul said. “I hate most everyone and am too lazy to try and change that now.”

  I laughed as I tilted my head back, resting it on Sandy’s shoulder. “I love you guys.”

  “And we love you,” Sandy said. “Always. And I can’t wait to see what our future brings. I have a feeling that there’s going to be a whole shitload to celebrate in the coming months. I can’t wait.”

  I hadn’t told them yet about my plans for Jeremy, but I thought they already knew.

  This life… it wasn’t one I expected to have. It wasn’t one that I’d gone looking for. It’d found me in a thrift store when I’d least expected it. And while there had been ups and downs, those peaks and valleys that felt almost manic, I wouldn’t change it for anything.

  I wished I could go back and talk to that seventeen-year-old kid. To tell them that one day, everything would be okay. That they would figure everything out, and the world could be such a bright and wonderful place if you surrounded yourself with the right people.

  And I’d done just that.

  I had my best friends.

  I had my family.

  I had the love of my life.

  I fought for this. Every piece. Every part.

  I thought seventeen-year-old me would be proud of the person I’d become.

  WE STOOD out on the sidewalk in front of Jack It. Paul was with Vince, and Sandy was with Darren. Jeremy held my hand. I wondered how it’d feel with a ring on it. I’d find out soon enough.

  We lingered for only a little while. Jeremy was talking with Vince and Darren about something sports, so naturally Paul and Sandy and I were ignoring them. I was trying to convince Paul that when we went to Seafare, it was best if he never was left in a room alone with Bear, and Sandy was telling me about the suit he wanted me to wear for the ceremony.

  Eventually we went our separate ways.

  But it was okay.

  It wouldn’t be for long.

  “Ready?” Jeremy asked as he lifted my hand to kiss the back of it.

  I nodded as I watched the others walk in the opposite direction. I thought my heart was going to burst.

  There are moments in this life that stick with us for the rest of our days. They are profound and sharp, both good and bad. It’s the people we meet, the experiences we have. Finding out that your parents gave you up because they couldn’t deal is one. Staring in a mirror and realizing it was fractured though no one else could see it is another. Meeting a drag queen who can both threaten and love in a single breath is a third.

  I saw a boy on a college campus who looked like he couldn’t breathe, and I sat with him until he realized I would never leave him again.

  I made the decision to leave a place where I’d made something of myself to return to a desert that had caused me so much pain.

  I watched as a Queen found her Homo Jock King, even though they were both fucking idiots about it and went about it in a way that should have blown up in their faces but somehow managed to work. I don’t even know.

  I stood witness as two men vowed to love each other for the rest of their days, and then one of them tackled the other one and started macking in front of everyone with an inordinate amount of tongues and teeth that was both hot and disgusting at the same time. Seriously. It was still something I tried not to think about.

  And now, here, was another moment.

  So sharp. So profound.

  An ending.

  My ending.

  I grinned at Jeremy. “Yeah. I’m ready. Let’s go home.”

  More from TJ Klune

  Do you believe in love at first sight?

  Paul Auster doesn’t. Paul doesn’t believe in much at all. He’s thirty, slightly overweight, and his best features are his acerbic wit and the color commentary he provides as life passes him by. His closest friends are a two-legged dog named Wheels and a quasibipolar drag queen named Helena Handbasket. He works a dead-end job in a soul-sucking cubicle, and if his grandmother’s homophobic parrot insults him one more time, Paul is going to wring its stupid neck.

  Enter
Vince Taylor.

  Vince is everything Paul isn’t: sexy, confident, and dumber than the proverbial box of rocks. And for some reason, Vince pursues Paul relentlessly. Vince must be messing with him, because there is no way Vince could want someone like Paul.

  But when Paul hits Vince with his car—in a completely unintentional if-he-died-it’d-only-be-manslaughter kind of way—he’s forced to see Vince in a whole new light. The only thing stopping Paul from believing in Vince is himself—and that is one obstacle Paul can’t quite seem to overcome. But when tragedy strikes Vince’s family, Paul must put aside any notions he has about himself and stand next to the man who thinks he’s perfect the way he is.

  Sequel to Tell Me It’s Real

  Do you believe in love at first sight?

  Sanford Stewart sure doesn’t. In fact, he pretty much believes in the exact opposite, thanks to the Homo Jock King. It seems Darren Mayne lives for nothing more than to create chaos in Sandy’s perfectly ordered life, just for the hell of it. Sandy despises him, and nothing will ever change his mind.

  Or so he tells himself.

  It’s not until the owner of Jack It—the club where Sandy performs as drag queen Helena Handbasket—comes to him with a desperate proposition that Sandy realizes he might have to put his feelings about Darren aside. Because Jack It will close unless someone can convince Andrew Taylor, the mayor of Tucson, to keep it open.

  Someone like Darren, the mayor’s illegitimate son.

  The foolproof plan is this: seduce Darren and push him to convince his father to renew Jack It’s contract with the city.

  Simple, right?

  Wrong.

  Sequel to The Queen & the Homo Jock King

  Together with their families and friends

  Paul Auster

  and

  Vincent Taylor

  request the honor of your company at the celebration of their marriage.

  Gustavo Tiberius is not normal. He knows this. Everyone in his small town of Abby, Oregon, knows this. He reads encyclopedias every night before bed. He has a pet ferret called Harry S. Truman. He owns a video rental store that no one goes to. His closest friends are a lady named Lottie with drag queen hair and a trio of elderly Vespa riders known as the We Three Queens.