Connected in Pain : A Motorcycle Club Romance Trilogy of Crow & Rylynn

by Ryan Michele

  Crow knifed up so I was sitting on his lap, his cock inside of me. “Eyes,” he told me, and I complied wrapping my limbs around him, my body screaming to release. Once we were connected, my orgasm hit with a vengeance as Crow’s arms tightened around me pulling me closer to him. His cock twitched inside of me telling me he released.

  We didn’t lose contact for a long while. We sat in that position, neither of us wanting to move and break this connection. I felt my heart tear like a rip in thin paper scoring all the way through. It was stupid and insane, but there it was burning inside of me knowing this was really and truly over.

  There would be no reason for our paths to cross again. It was by coincidence this time happened. And wasn’t that depressing as shit.

  He felt it too. I could tell looking deep into his eyes. This connection was beautiful and killed at the same time. Knowing we would never have it. I refused to cry even though it lodged in my throat.

  Crow had the control to break the moment by kissing my lips, pulling out and laying me next to him, tucking me close. He just held me trailing his fingertips over my hip. Each touch sent shocks down my frame so soft and tender coming from a man who was anything but. Something else to burn into my memory. This sated, content happy, yet unbelievable painful memory.

  We stayed like this until it was time we had to leave, neither of us speaking just allowing our bodies to do it for us. Both of us getting lost as the seconds ticked by.

  It sucked this had to be the end of the road, but life wasn’t fair and not everything worked out the way you’d hoped it would. Most of the time it never did. Life was a mean bitch and when she slapped you in the face, you felt the sting for a long damn time.

  We dressed and left the hotel. Each step we took was another toward losing each other forever.

  Crow pressed me against my Jeep and brought his lips down to mine. The kiss was bruising and hard turning me on all over again. It was also painful, not physically, but emotionally. A good-bye that never should happen, but it was.

  He never said a word about his comment about ‘me being on the back of his bike’ and I never brought it up in our time together, not wanting to bring anymore of the heavy into our time together. Since he never said anything either, it didn’t have the same meaning as I’d thought. Until that moment I hadn’t realized how much I wanted that for us so we could explore this and see what another day would bring.

  Alas, it wasn’t the right time for us. Maybe in another life or another way, but not in this one.

  We took the chance saying with our bodies what couldn’t be said with words. Neither one of us promised the other anything but a good time. It was uncomplicated, freeing, but I already regretted leaving him and he was right in front of me, in my space and that regret burned.

  This track of thinking wasn’t helping him or myself. I needed to let it go.

  He lifted his head from mine. “Phone.”

  I was in a fog from his kiss and only got out a whispered, “What?”

  “Give me your phone.”

  My head shook trying to gather my thoughts, my hair flying back and forth. “Why?”

  He held out his hand and I rolled my eyes, digging in my bag and pulling it out. He didn’t move a damn inch to help me out with this process. Instead, he stayed plastered to me, his cock hard against my belly. Lord. It was good we were going our different ways. He really was going to kill me by sex.

  Handing it over, he tried to open it, but it was locked. He lifted his brow at me, and I smiled. “What? Need something?”

  “Unlock it.”

  “You’re awfully demanding. Did someone piss in your Cheerios this morning?”

  He growled low, “You know damn well I ate you for breakfast.”

  A chuckle escaped me at remembering that meal right before we got dressed as I held out my hand. Hell if I knew what he was doing, but there was a small glimmer of hope that he wanted to stay connected to me.

  I pressed my index finger to the back of the phone, and it unlocked. Crow snatched it back right away looking down at it and swiping his finger this way and that.

  He punched in some numbers and a phone rang then stopped as he handed my phone back to me. “Now I have your number. You have mine. You call me when you get home.”

  “I don’t…” I began, wanting this but fearing it in the same breath. Would I love to hear his voice over the phone, yes. My concern though was would it be enough.

  He interrupted me by touching his nose with mine, his eyes boring into mine shutting my mouth. “Call me. If you don’t, I’m riding to Sumner.”

  “That’s stupid, Crow. I’m a big girl…”

  He cut me off again. “Know that, but that doesn’t mean I have to like this shit. You get home, you call me.”

  I nipped the tip of his nose. “Fine. You really need to take a Xanax.”

  “No, what I need is to lock you up in my room and not let you out.”

  This made my body tingle. “Yum… That sounds like a great idea. Promise?”

  He shook his head probably trying not to throttle me so I just smiled at him, loving this back and forth. He challenged me, tempted me, and tore at me, each one I loved. That push and pull was something to seriously get off on.

  “Rylynn, I have to go and meet my brothers. You need to get home.” He leaned down kissing me hard, once again stealing my breath. He released me all too soon and took a step back. That one step becoming miles between us. “Get in and go.”

  Immediately my mind said, no, just stay, get on the back of his bike and ride. My body was on the same page with my mind, but he didn’t ask me to do that. Crow wasn’t and would never be mine to stay with and be with. He had a life as did I. We were too far apart. Our time together was fun, and as much as it killed I needed to leave it at that and be done.

  What in the hell was wrong with me? This was fun, Rylynn. Nothing else. No matter what you felt at the time, it needed to be washed away.

  “Bye, Crow.” The croak in my throat made me give a slight cough and the damn tears I’d been able to hold back threatened to come back full force. Damn emotions. They always seemed to make their presence known at the most inopportune times.

  Opening the door and using every bit of strength ingrained in me over the years, I got in to hear him say, “Later, Pixie.”

  Later. Later was going to be a long fucking time. More like forever. As I pulled away and headed home, I’d realized part of me left with Crow that day and was now traveling away from me. A part that was for now and would always be only his.

  When my mother told me the stories of her and my father, I knew one day it would hit me like it hit my father. I’d see the one and it would smack me in the face. Not everyone got their one, though. Guess it was my time to let go of one and find two. If there was one. I could hear my grandpa’s voice in my head. “No man is good enough for my little girl.” He’d then rub the top of my head. Too bad that would never be.

  Why everything had to be so damn difficult, I’d never know. Day by day. Minute by minute. Second by second. My mom was right—living with regret was harsh, but when the feelings weren’t mutual, it killed.

  The pain of the knife to the heart was cut the deepest and was felt the most.

  15

  Crow

  “You look way too fuckin’ happy,” Phoenix groused as I pulled up to the Chattanooga River cutting my engine, unable to stop grinning.

  Being with Rylynn was a high no drug or ride on my bike could compare to. For a brief time, my mind was able to shut off. The contingency plans, different case scenarios, my kids, their mothers, my father—all of it I was able to shut down and just be with her in that moment. Be with her and actually feel. Something I hadn’t done since Sophia back in high school. Rylynn was a fantastic lay. Never had better. Ever. No one even compared to her, but it wasn’t just the sex. It wasn’t. I knew it then and still knew it now.

  “Yep,” was all I answered.

  “Where is she?” Brewe
r asked, standing next to me as we walked down the way to where we were picking up the shipment. Tall trees covered around a path large enough for our box truck to fit through to pick up the cargo. The shade helped stave off the heat.

  “On her way home.”

  “You do realize her father will cut your balls off.”

  This came to my mind several times when Ry talked about her parents. They were good people, and there was no doubt in my mind her father would have a problem with us together considering how old I was to his little girl.

  Knowing how her father was though, and the type of man I’d become, we’d figure it out. Fuck. I’d never be able to find out though if my theory was correct. She went her way, and I went mine. Didn’t mean it felt good.

  I stopped walking and turned my head just a touch to him. “He and I speak the same language.”

  Brewer’s eyebrows rose as he crossed his hands over his chest. “Is it done?”

  “What are you, my counselor now? Giving relationship advice?”

  “Nope, just give a fuck.”

  I started walking once again moving to a small clearing. Our load should be coming down the river in twenty minutes, and playing a thousand questions about what happened with Rylynn wasn’t on the top of my agenda to spend the time. It was no one’s business but ours. “Preciate that, but don’t need that shit and you know it.”

  “Always got your back, brother.”

  I nodded because he always would. “Enough of that shit. Talk to me.”

  He didn’t hesitate as we climbed up an old picnic table sitting our asses down. It wasn’t big enough so some stood around us. “Got a call this morning they were on their way. Load was full and ready for the truck. Drop off point has been scoped out, Ethan and Jimmy are there keeping tabs. Checked in with them when we got here, and everything was a go. The ride’s about two and a half hours to the drop off; we’re all gassed up and ready to roll.”

  Placing my elbows on the table, I asked, “No bad feelings about these guys?”

  “Everything else pans out.”

  This was good. We needed this shit to go smooth for both of our ends. We needed to be able to trust Xavier and Marcus, and they needed to trust us. This world we lived in could be tipped at any time. All it would take was a single wrong move for everything to topple over. We’d gotten along well so far, but with the question of change I had my doubts, but that was my job. To be one step ahead. They paid us a shit load of cake for this run; hopefully it all worked out.

  “Brief me on everything.” In the hotel room, Rylynn didn’t say a word when my phone rang and I had to take calls. Once she even went into the bathroom until I got off. Another time, she actually fell asleep. She was made for this life, cut from the same cloth. My head needed to not be on her and on the situations with the club.

  The recaps over our phone calls were short though, only relaying bits and pieces to me. Therefore, I needed the full story before the shipment came in.

  Tex started first. “Stephanie’s healin’ up. Bear had a chat with Goldi. Said it wasn’t pretty, but she gets it. Goldilocks is even going as far as to run more checks on the clients we already have in the database just to make sure. She and I have talked to the girls, and they’re good. One fucked up time didn’t break their faith in us. Business is as usual.”

  “Berry?” I asked.

  “Nothing with the cash. In looking through the credit card shit you took pictures of, there was only one place that stood out. The Purple Pride,” Wrong Way started. “Before leaving his wife, he was there several times, but the charges weren’t much. More like drinks or food. When we get back, we need to look into it.”

  “Good. Top of the list.” I nodded to Wrong Way then turned to Lemon. “Lemon, what do you have for me?” He didn’t exactly fidget, but there was a splash of uncertainty and I didn’t fucking like that. His shit was slowly unraveling. The fucked up part of it was all he had to do was say he needed help and the club would do everything in our power to help. Instead, he continued to drown himself each and every day. He wasn’t going to like the consequences of this.

  “Did what you said about Jenny and her man. He’s in to drugs and gambling. She’s just doin’ the drugs. No jobs to speak of, but they’re in debt up to his eyeballs with Ebony.”

  “How deep?”

  “Forty-seven thousand two hundred and twenty-two dollars.”

  A low whistle came from my lips because all that shit was now on Jenny’s head. “And the house?”

  “If Ebony has it or thinks she has it, I have no clue. Tried getting into her computer system, but it’s tied tight.” Fuck, he needed to be able to hack. With that option out, I turned to Phoenix.

  “Phoenix, call Ebony and find out all you can about this shit. I want to know if the morons put the house up and for how much. She doesn’t tell you, see if you can fuck it out of her.”

  Phoenix said nothing, just pulled out his phone taking a few steps off to the side. My gut was telling me this wouldn’t be as easy as telling her the house was ours. “Next.”

  “Nothin’ on who’s tailin’ us. I’d be surprised if there really is one at this point,” Wrong Way said. “Even watchin’ everything we do, nothin’. Jimmy went through all the tapes and saw nothin’ out of the ordinary. Do you really think this is happening?”

  “We do until we don’t. Someone added those cameras. Step ahead, my man.”

  He nodded and looked to Lemon. “Can you get into the street cameras?”

  “I can try.”

  “Try? Are you fuckin’ shittin’ me?” I barked.

  He shook his head, his back straightening. “I’ll get it.” My faith in him was waning. Men were prideful, and I got that more than most. But if a man couldn’t do his job, it was his balls to pick up off the floor and speak up for it.

  “Wrong Way, work on this.”

  Wrong Way lifted his chin in response. Lemon was working my last fucking nerve. “Been training Ethan on the computer.” This had my head lifting to Wrong Way. “He’s fuckin’ good. Smart. Knows new shit that’s out there. You want him on this with me?”

  “He’s not patched.”

  “He needs to be,” Wrong Way replied. A ringing endorsement from the man who didn’t give those out freely. It was time to bring the man into the fold.

  “Next church we’ll vote. Now. Need you on it.”

  “Got it,” Wrong Way replied as I looked over to Lemon. His face was red with fury. Good, maybe that would get the stick out of his ass and get him working harder. Sometimes a man needed a kick in the ass to get his act together. Other times, he failed. I hoped to Christ Lemon could pull his head out.

  A few moments later a very large boat was spotted coming down the river as we all came to attention, guns coming out and at our sides.

  The boat had two floors and looked like it should be in the ocean with some rich muckety-mucks laying on top of it out in the sun. It absolutely did not look like a boat that should be riding down the Chattanooga River for a stroll. This was a huge red flag to anyone around us.

  Stupid. These fuckers were stupid.

  I hated stupid people, and these motherfuckers were getting off on the wrong foot straightaway. It only took one time for them to fuck up to a point we’d cut them off. This might just be that time.

  The boat slowly pulled up to the dock. A man with a shaved head lifted his chin at us as he docked the boat. It wasn’t an actual dock, just a concrete pole that was used to tie off boats. It had been there for years, but was strong as hell.

  Bald guy did it quickly and efficiently, like he’d done this several times before. Something positive.

  “Word,” Brewer said, moving up to the guy.

  The bald man didn’t hesitate or flinch that Brewer had his gun out ready to put a bullet in his head. “Dick sucker.” We always had a code word or phrase to make sure we were getting what we needed to and when. My father used to do it before me as well. It had never steered us wrong. For this one
several of my brothers chuckled. Lately the code words were becoming a form of entertainment.

  “You got it?” Brewer asked.

  Dick sucker guy nodded. “Yeah. Need help gettin’ it out.”

  “Phoenix, Rooster, and Hornet, go check it out.” They broke off, boarding the boat while dick sucker didn’t even flinch, keeping his stare on me. It only took moments and the guys were back up from the bottom of the boat.

  “It’s there.”

  I nodded over to Wrong Way and he took off to get the truck, backing it up for easy transfer. The place we did this we knew well. Had been using it for years, but not every time. We rotated never letting anyone know for sure where we’d be. It was the way of the world, keeping everyone under radar. Being on radar was never a good thing.

  We loaded and hauled ass out of there starting the trek to get this shit done with and get paid.

  The ride wasn’t too long, and we had no difficulties with the trip.

  Pulling up to the warehouse, two cars were in the parking lot along with a large mini-van. Other than that, it was empty, not a single person in sight. Only sporadic trees and shrubbery. Veering off to the side with a roll-up door, Wrong Way parked the truck in a position that all he’d have to do was back up to unload.

  Parking, we killed our engines and my mind went through all the different scenarios that could happen. The contingency plans that I had rolling through my head just in case.

  If they started shooting when we entered, how we’d fan out to stop it.

  If they waited until we got into the building then attacked, how I’d protect my brothers.

  Looking at the different escape routes.

  Looking for windows, camera, and paths.

  Calculating the time it took from point A to point B.

  Going over the alternate routes in and out of this warehouse.

  Remembering the aerial that Lemon pulled up giving a view of the lay of the land.

  All of this filtered through my head as we walked up to the building, Phoenix at the lead, gun at the ready as he opened the door. We followed him, and I was ready for anything. One bullet was all it took, and today wasn’t any of my brothers day to bite it.