by Daniel Defoe
him; for, to be plain, with my circumstances I was in nocondition now to say No; I had no reason now to run any more suchhazards.
But while these thoughts ran round in my head, which was the work butof a few moments, I observed my landlord took him aside and whisperedto him, though not very softly neither, for so much I overheard: 'Sir,if you shall have occasion----' the rest I could not hear, but it seemsit was to this purpose: 'Sir, if you shall have occasion for aminister, I have a friend a little way off that will serve you, and beas private as you please.' My gentleman answered loud enough for me tohear, 'Very well, I believe I shall.'
I was no sooner come back to the inn but he fell upon me withirresistible words, that since he had had the good fortune to meet me,and everything concurred, it would be hastening his felicity if I wouldput an end to the matter just there. 'What do you mean?' says I,colouring a little. 'What, in an inn, and upon the road! Bless usall,' said I, as if I had been surprised, 'how can you talk so?' 'Oh,I can talk so very well,' says he, 'I came a-purpose to talk so, andI'll show you that I did'; and with that he pulls out a great bundle ofpapers. 'You fright me,' said I; 'what are all these?' 'Don't befrighted, my dear,' said he, and kissed me. This was the first timethat he had been so free to call me 'my dear'; then he repeated it,'Don't be frighted; you shall see what it is all'; then he laid themall abroad. There was first the deed or sentence of divorce from hiswife, and the full evidence of her playing the whore; then there werethe certificates of the minister and churchwardens of the parish whereshe lived, proving that she was buried, and intimating the manner ofher death; the copy of the coroner's warrant for a jury to sit uponher, and the verdict of the jury, who brought it in Non compos mentis.All this was indeed to the purpose, and to give me satisfaction,though, by the way, I was not so scrupulous, had he known all, but thatI might have taken him without it. However, I looked them all over aswell as I could, and told him that this was all very clear indeed, butthat he need not have given himself the trouble to have brought themout with him, for it was time enough. Well, he said, it might be timeenough for me, but no time but the present time was time enough for him.
There were other papers rolled up, and I asked him what they were.'Why, ay,' says he, 'that's the question I wanted to have you ask me';so he unrolls them and takes out a little shagreen case, and gives meout of it a very fine diamond ring. I could not refuse it, if I had amind to do so, for he put it upon my finger; so I made him a curtsy andaccepted it. Then he takes out another ring: 'And this,' says he, 'isfor another occasion,' so he puts that in his pocket. 'Well, but letme see it, though,' says I, and smiled; 'I guess what it is; I thinkyou are mad.' 'I should have been mad if I had done less,' says he, andstill he did not show me, and I had a great mind to see it; so I says,'Well, but let me see it.' 'Hold,' says he, 'first look here'; then hetook up the roll again and read it, and behold! it was a licence for usto be married. 'Why,' says I, 'are you distracted? Why, you werefully satisfied that I would comply and yield at first word, orresolved to take no denial.' 'The last is certainly the case,' saidhe. 'But you may be mistaken,' said I. 'No, no,' says he, 'how canyou think so? I must not be denied, I can't be denied'; and with thathe fell to kissing me so violently, I could not get rid of him.
There was a bed in the room, and we were walking to and again, eager inthe discourse; at last he takes me by surprise in his arms, and threwme on the bed and himself with me, and holding me fast in his arms, butwithout the least offer of any indecency, courted me to consent withsuch repeated entreaties and arguments, protesting his affection, andvowing he would not let me go till I had promised him, that at last Isaid, 'Why, you resolve not to be denied, indeed, I can't be denied.''Well, well,' said I, and giving him a slight kiss, 'then you shan't bedenied,' said I; 'let me get up.'
He was so transported with my consent, and the kind manner of it, thatI began to think once he took it for a marriage, and would not stay forthe form; but I wronged him, for he gave over kissing me, and thengiving me two or three kisses again, thanked me for my kind yielding tohim; and was so overcome with the satisfaction and joy of it, that Isaw tears stand in his eyes.
I turned from him, for it filled my eyes with tears too, and I askedhim leave to retire a little to my chamber. If ever I had a grain oftrue repentance for a vicious and abominable life for twenty-four yearspast, it was then. On, what a felicity is it to mankind, said I tomyself, that they cannot see into the hearts of one another! How happyhad it been for me if I had been wife to a man of so much honesty, andso much affection from the beginning!
Then it occurred to me, 'What an abominable creature am I! and how isthis innocent gentleman going to be abused by me! How little does hethink, that having divorced a whore, he is throwing himself into thearms of another! that he is going to marry one that has lain with twobrothers, and has had three children by her own brother! one that wasborn in Newgate, whose mother was a whore, and is now a transportedthief! one that has lain with thirteen men, and has had a child sincehe saw me! Poor gentleman!' said I, 'what is he going to do?' Afterthis reproaching myself was over, it following thus: 'Well, if I mustbe his wife, if it please God to give me grace, I'll be a true wife tohim, and love him suitably to the strange excess of his passion for me;I will make him amends if possible, by what he shall see, for thecheats and abuses I put upon him, which he does not see.'
He was impatient for my coming out of my chamber, but finding me long,he went downstairs and talked with my landlord about the parson.
My landlord, an officious though well-meaning fellow, had sent away forthe neighbouring clergyman; and when my gentleman began to speak of itto him, and talk of sending for him, 'Sir,' says he to him, 'my friendis in the house'; so without any more words he brought them together.When he came to the minister, he asked him if he would venture to marrya couple of strangers that were both willing. The parson said that Mr.---- had said something to him of it; that he hoped it was noclandestine business; that he seemed to be a grave gentleman, and hesupposed madam was not a girl, so that the consent of friends should bewanted. 'To put you out of doubt of that,' says my gentleman, 'readthis paper'; and out he pulls the license. 'I am satisfied,' says theminister; 'where is the lady?' 'You shall see her presently,' says mygentleman.
When he had said thus he comes upstairs, and I was by that time comeout of my room; so he tells me the minister was below, and that he hadtalked with him, and that upon showing him the license, he was free tomarry us with all his heart, 'but he asks to see you'; so he asked if Iwould let him come up.
''Tis time enough,' said I, 'in the morning, is it not?' 'Why,' saidhe, 'my dear, he seemed to scruple whether it was not some young girlstolen from her parents, and I assured him we were both of age tocommand our own consent; and that made him ask to see you.' 'Well,'said I, 'do as you please'; so up they brings the parson, and a merry,good sort of gentleman he was. He had been told, it seems, that we hadmet there by accident, that I came in the Chester coach, and mygentleman in his own coach to meet me; that we were to have met lastnight at Stony-Stratford, but that he could not reach so far. 'Well,sir,' says the parson, 'every ill turn has some good in it. Thedisappointment, sir,' says he to my gentleman, 'was yours, and the goodturn is mine, for if you had met at Stony-Stratford I had not had thehonour to marry you. Landlord, have you a Common Prayer Book?'
I started as if I had been frightened. 'Lord, sir,' says I, 'what doyou mean? What, to marry in an inn, and at night too?' 'Madam,' saysthe minister, 'if you will have it be in the church, you shall; but Iassure you your marriage will be as firm here as in the church; we arenot tied by the canons to marry nowhere but in the church; and if youwill have it in the church, it will be a public as a county fair; andas for the time of day, it does not at all weigh in this case; ourprinces are married in their chambers, and at eight or ten o'clock atnight.'
I was a great while before I could be persuaded, and pretended not tobe willing at all to be married but in the church. But it was allg
rimace; so I seemed at last to be prevailed on, and my landlord andhis wife and daughter were called up. My landlord was father and clerkand all together, and we were married, and very merry we were; though Iconfess the self-reproaches which I had upon me before lay close to me,and extorted every now and then a deep sigh from me, which mybridegroom took notice of, and endeavoured to encourage me, thinking,poor man, that I had some little
