Where the Mountains Meet the Sea

by A. R. Breck

  I slide my other slipper off, seeing my other foot in a similar condition to the first one. My toes are bruised, cracked and bleeding. My entire body aches in places that have never ached before, but I also have a feeling of absolution. There's this feeling inside of me the moment I put on my leotard. Like this is exactly where I'm meant to be.

  Being with Roman completes that.

  Grabbing my slippers, I walk barefoot to the back of my dressing room, putting as much weight as I can on my heels. I slide into the bathroom, slipping out of my leotard and into my clothes. I slide on my jacket, zipping it up to the neck. I haven't been exposed to the cold weather since I left home. New York doesn't get as bad as Wisconsin, but this winter has been a long one, as if it knew I was coming back from a long, warm adventure.

  Sliding my leotard and slippers into my bag, I head out, locking the door behind me. The sidewalk is slushy as I walk onto it, the most recent snowstorm not staying long with the fluctuating temps. It makes for a sloppy city, full of brown snow mixed with puddles of ice and water.

  I raise my hand, and within minutes a yellow taxi pulls up to the curb. Snow sprays from behind the tires, and I step away from the edge so I don't get splashed. I slide into the taxi, giving him the address to Roman's apartment.

  All I can think about, at this moment, is a nice bath. I need to soak my muscles in hot water. I need to ice them, too. But warm water curling around my skin is the only thing on my mind.

  It doesn't take long for the taxi to pull up outside of Roman's apartment. I hand him some money from my purse and grab my bag, then hobble to the elevator. I lean against the railing, taking as much weight off my feet as I can.

  I've been practicing religiously. I'm so dedicated to getting this scholarship, I'll do anything I can. If that means a bleeding and bruised body, well, I say it's worth it.

  I pull the key out of my purse, unlocking the door and seeing the apartment empty. Roman is busy at work a lot. The population in New York makes for a lot of after-hours emergency phone calls. He doesn't really have a schedule either. If he gets a call, he has to go right away. Doesn't matter the day or the hour.

  He seems tired a lot, the long, unstable schedule seeming to get the best of him. But there's also a confidence in him, like doing something that helps people brings him a satisfaction that playing music didn't.

  Music will always be a part of him, I think. He still has his guitar, tucked away in his closet. I have yet to see him take it out, but I will get him to. Someday. I don't think he's ready yet, but it will happen. I’ll make sure of it.

  I drop my bag just inside the door and walk straight to the bathroom, stripping my clothes off on the way. Bending down, I put the stopper in the drain and turn the knob all the way to hot. I grab the two bottles from the side of the top, pouring a generous amount of bubbles and lavender into the water.

  I wait until it's filled to the brim, and push the clear knob in, turning the water off. Dipping my toes in first, I hiss through my teeth when the soap seeps beneath my cuts, causing an intense burn on my foot. I bite on my lip, pressing my hand against the cool tile on the wall as I step the rest of the way in, sinking into the hot water until my butt hits the ground.

  Then I breathe.

  The water hits the top of my chest, lapping at my neck in small waves. I close my eyes, leaning the back of my head against the back of the tub. My muscles loosen by the second, crying out in relief from rest.

  I don't know how much time has passed. I think I've even fallen asleep, but the front door unlocking has my eyes cracking open. A sheen of sweat covers my skin. I wipe the top of my lip, the footsteps coming toward me warming my skin even more.

  Roman.

  He's so much more than I ever imagined him to be. My heart has always beat with his. We've always been in sync, from the moment we met it's never been a question. But over time, our love, our need for each other has only grown stronger. Being an adult now, it's unlike anything I could ever imagine. Our love didn't fade from our time apart. His love has ingrained itself deeper within me. He can read my every emotion just as I can read his.

  What we have is so much more than love. It's so much deeper. It's almost painful, how much we love each other. There isn't anything like it. I don't think anyone in the history of the universe has experienced our type of love. We're one in a million, him and I.

  "Luna?" His voice rasps, his footsteps growing closer.

  I lift my head up, leaning to the side as I grab a bar of soap. "In here."

  The door creaks open, and there he stands. He looks so sure, so certain. My neck tilts up to look at him. He's tall, well over six feet. His hair has alternated over the years from long to short. Now it sits mid-length. A little long, a little messy, so Roman.

  Since he's become a firefighter, there's a build in him that he's never had before. A definition in his chest and arms that's grown over the months. He's always been strong, able to lift me like I weigh nothing, but it's so much more now. Everything about him is just… So. Much. More.

  "How was practice?" he asks, walking into the bathroom. He lowers the toilet lid, taking a seat on top of it.

  I left my leg, showing him my sudsy foot. It's covered in bubbles, but my toes poke through, bruised, faded with bloody wounds.

  He frowns, kneeling down on the ground so he can take a better look. He grabs my foot, his fingers digging into my skin as he pulls it closer to him. "Luna," he winces, "This looks terrible."

  "It doesn't feel much better," I mumble.

  His finger presses on the cracked toenail, the blackish purple turning a sickly shade of white. "This can fall right off." He turns his head toward me, worry and sadness on his face.

  I shake my head. "I'm just going to tape it."

  He sighs, settling my foot back into the water. Grabbing the bar of soap, he lathers it in his hand and starts running it along my leg. "I don't like that you're getting injured like this. You're pushing yourself too hard."

  I lean up, my wet fingers going to the back of his hair. "It's only temporary. I just need to get through the audition in a few months. Whether I get in or not, it won't be this bad afterward."

  "You'll get in," he says with such certainty. Like there is nothing he’s more sure of in this world.

  "I don't know." I frown. "Sometimes I wonder if it's too late. If I'm getting too old for this." I don't know why I'm telling him now, after I've been keeping it inside, but it's like the moment he's around, all my insecurities, all my worries, just bleed out of me.

  He rubs the soap down my shins, along the soles of my aching feet. He spends extra time there, massaging the curve of my foot, the pads of his fingers pressing roughly. I let out a small moan.

  "Anyone would be a fucking idiot to not give you a scholarship. Not only are you talented as hell, but your dedication to proving it to them says so damn much. I don't think I could ever try this hard or work as hard as you have just to prove them, and yourself, wrong."

  I shrug, watching his hands as he moves to my other foot. "I don't know. I guess I just don't have as much hope as I used to. Dancing used to be so easy, no pain, nothing at all. It was effortless. Now I feel like there is a difficulty in my dancing. There's a pain." I shake my head. "Maybe I'm being stupid."

  He drops my foot, moving up to my thighs and massaging them, then moving his hands over my waist. "I don't think you're being stupid. I think you're being human."

  "I don't like being human." I pout.

  He chuckles. "Well, I think I've got some news that you might enjoy."

  This perks me up. "What is it?"

  His hand trails up my side, his fingers dancing along the outside of my breasts. My nipples tighten into peaks, barely noticeable through the soapy water. But Roman zones in on them, his tongue peeking out slightly to lick his lips.

  "It's a surprise," he whispers, dragging his fingers along my breasts, pinching my nipple ever so slightly. I arch my back, the water lapping against the side of the tub with
my movements.

  "Please," I whimper, needing him. He holds out on me, keeping a distance sexually while all I want is him. He knows this, too. He knows how desperate I am to hold him against me. I need him. I need every bit of him, but he won't take that extra step. It's frightening, torturous, painful.

  His hand slides down my stomach, swirling the soap along my body beneath the water. His finger dips into my belly button, pressing gently, then he rolls the soap back up, sliding between my breasts and up to my neck. "What do you say? Will you let me surprise you?"

  "How can I agree to something when I don't know what it is?" I moan, inching toward his hand, needing any kind of relief from the burn building low in my belly.

  "Because you trust me. Because you love me."

  "If you love me, will you help me?"

  His eyes slide to mine, the dark brown turning black with want. "What do you need, Luna?"

  I sit up, the water splashing as I slide against the bottom of the tub, until I'm right next to him, me on one side of the porcelain and him on the other. The water splashes, and I lean forward, my lips only inches from his. Water drips from my hair and onto his arm, but he doesn't flinch. He doesn't move.

  "I want you. Please. I'm ready." My hand falls over the tub, and I press against the zipper of his jeans, feeling the bulge growing between his legs. "I know you want me, too."

  He stares at me, his breaths heavy but even. I watch his jaw tick, once, twice, three times. "Tell me yes to your surprise, and I'll help you."

  "Yes," I say before he can even finish his sentence. It's been years since I've been with him, and I need him. Whatever part of him I can get, I'm greedy enough to take.

  His hand goes above my breasts, his fingers large as they splay against my chest. He pushes me back, and I slide down, my back hitting the foot of the tub. It's cool against my skin, even though the water is still warm. His hand slips beneath the water, his fingers dragging along my leg. From my knee, he trails up, sliding his fingers along the inside of my thigh. My leg twitches, need and anticipation firing up my insides.

  My hands go up, my fingers clutching the edges of the tub. It's slippery, and I'm barely able to hang on. As his hand rests against my sex, pulsing with a desperate need, my hands slide off the sides, splashing into the water. I press them against the tub beneath me, raising my hips as they seek his fingers.

  Roman chuckles, his other hand sliding into the water against my lower stomach. He presses down, lowering my hips back down to the tub. "Be patient, Luna."

  "How can I be patient when you've been holding out on me for so long? You know how badly I want you, and you continue to torture me," I whine.

  I can feel his finger slide between my folds. Poking through the top, he presses against my slit before sliding down, sinking knuckle-deep into my sex. My hip bucks, and Roman's hand goes back down, pushing me down to stay still. "I torture you because when I have you, it's going to be all of you. I don't want a piece, or a fucking sliver, I want every bit of you, Luna." His fingers curl inside of me, making me see stars. He pulls out until only the tip of his finger is still inside of me, then slides back in. So slowly, so torturously.

  I release a guttural moan. It tears through my throat, echoing off the small bathroom walls.

  "I'm ready," I moan.

  "You're not," he mumbles, continuing his torturous fingering. He adds a second finger, and I curl my toes. They ache from the movement, but the ache between my legs is so much more painful at this point. I lift my foot, pressing it against the faucet, spreading my legs wide for him. I look over at Roman, seeing his eyes darken further at my positioning.

  "When I have you, Luna, I'm never going to let you go. I'm going to have every. Fucking. Inch." He plunges in with each word, lifting me higher and higher toward my orgasm. I can feel the tingling in my body, starting at my toes and working toward my head. I start to feel lightheaded, the heat of the water and Roman's ministrations making my sight begin to blur.

  His two fingers slide against that spot. That spot that makes my body thump with every touch. I can't take it, and I reach forward, grabbing onto his forearm and digging my nails in. They score his skin, creating small pink lines.

  "I'm going to…" I breathe, my voice escaping my chest.

  "Come for me, Luna. Let go. Let go of everything." His words alone make me unravel. My entire body turns to lava, liquefying me. I come apart under his hand, melting into the water as a tortured moan ricochets from my chest. Tears spring to my eyes, pain and love mixing together and streaming down my cheeks. I can't take it, and I close my eyes, everything that is Roman healing me. His healing hurts, though, as he puts me back together. My scars run deep, and Roman knows this, piecing me together in exactly the way he knows how.

  Roman is the only one who could piece me back together.

  My eyes slide open, and I'm here again. I look down, seeing the leotard I bought for my audition at Julliard. The black one with the black tutu. My slippers are even on, the ribbons laced up my ankles.

  My cliff.

  It's mine, I realize. The one cliff I've been coming to since I was a child. The one that has repeatedly taken me through the same cycle. Every time. The outcome is always the same.

  Why am I here?

  I tilt my head up, seeing the clear sky. No clouds. No nighttime stars. Only the open sky, as blue as the water below me. No wind today, either. There's a silence in the air, in the sky, and below me. I hear the waves, but their lapping is calmer than usual. It's like everything is in a lull.

  "Hello?" I ask, and I'm not sure why. It's not like anyone has ever responded to me. No one is ever here, it's like this place is abandoned. No one ever visits, except for me.

  No one answers this time either.

  I spin around, looking out into the distance. The water is dark, nearly black. So much mystery underneath those waves, so much unknown that I can't see.

  There is no wind, and there is no sand. No soft grains hitting my skin, wrapping around my legs like desperate fingers.

  What am I supposed to do?

  I walk to the edge, the tip of my slippers curling around the edge of the cliff. I look down, feeling like I’m looking into a funhouse mirror as the waves crash against the side of the cliff. It's like it grows closer and further away at the same time, making my stomach turn with nausea. I step back, not liking that feeling at all.

  With a breath, I turn around, hoping I can travel the other way. Once I turn, though, I come face to face with a gust of wind. It's filled with sand, shaped in the form of a body. The gust whips me off my feet, pushing me back and off the cliff with one huge, aggressive push.

  I shoot up in bed, fear lodging a scream in the back of my throat. My hands go to my neck, heaving breaths punching out of me as my heart pounds in my ears.

  The bed shifts, and Roman sits up beside me, instantly pulling me into his lap. "I was wondering if you still had those dreams."

  I nod. "Always," I breathe. The aggression in which I plummeted over the side of the cliff scared me. Shocked me. I feel a little whiplashed from it. A shiver breaks out along my spine, and Roman pulls me close, holding me tight.

  Tears flood my eyes, tumbling down my cheeks in rapid rivers. "Why do you think I keep having this dream? It has to mean something, right? I just don't understand." I wipe my face with my sleeves, feeling confused. I don't get it. I don't get any of it. "What does it mean?" I cry.

  He turns my face toward him, kissing along my river of tears, licking the saltiness from his lips afterward. "It's just a dream. That's all it is."

  I feel like it's not, but I curl into him anyway, seeking his comfort. He lies back in the bed, keeping me on top of him. His arms suction around me, pinning me against his body. I curl into his neck, the scruff from his beard tickling the top of his nose.

  I close my eyes, hoping my dream doesn't take me back to the cliff. I have a feeling it's not just a dream. I hope Roman's right. I hope that no matter what, he'll keep me safe. Tha
t he'll protect me from everything and anything.

  I hope, I hope, I hope.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  LUNA

  The moment the taxi drops us off at the airport, I turn to Roman. "Where are we going?"

  He has a nervous but excited look on his face. "I told you, it's a surprise."

  I think of all the places he may take me; of all the things we could do. A part of me wonders if we're going home. I bite my lip, a bit of excitement filling me.

  It's been a few days since he told me about our trip. I packed last night, thinking we might go to a fancy hotel or something. Head further upstate and go to a bed and breakfast. This, I wasn't expecting. Not at all.

  He opens the door, grabbing the bags with one hand and my hand with the other before pulling me out of the cab. "Come on, you took long enough to get out of bed this morning. I don't want to miss our flight." He tosses the cabbie some cash and pulls me along. I can barely catch up, his large steps making me trip over myself.

  I huff, racing after him.

  Check-in is relatively quick. It's early in the morning, the sun barely cresting over the tall buildings. The line is short, and it doesn’t take long for us to get through security. I look around for any type of indication of where we're going. My heart stops when we pass the sitting area for Hawaii. I'm not ready to go back there, and a part of me is worried I never will be. It's a beautiful place, with such beautiful people and beautiful scenery, but it's been tainted for me.

  We walk past the area where Roman and I met again after all this time. The moment where our lives connected again. My eyes water as we walk past, and Roman gives my hand a squeeze. I look up at him, knowing he remembers too. The place where our hearts met for the second time in our lives. The moment I saw him, it was the moment in my life where everything settled into place.