by Meg Ripley
I didn’t think I was still capable of being shocked. I thought that because so much shit had happened, nothing would have phased me any longer. But that? The news rocked my world so hard, I actually stumbled. I made it to the couch and dropped down, taking a moment to replay her words in my mind.
“You’re pregnant?”
“I believe so, yes. I took a test and it was positive, but I haven’t been to see a doctor yet, so I suppose there’s a chance the test is wrong.”
“Does that happen often?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Okay. Well. I mean, obviously it’s mine, there’s no question there, right?”
“Of course.”
“Right,” I said. “I know that. I wasn’t questioning it. I’m sorry, I was just…I’m just trying to get my head around this.”
“I would guess that this isn’t quite as big of a shock as finding out that the father of your unborn child turns into a bear at will.”
“I guess not. I wouldn’t know; I was raised in this world. And I made a point of not letting people in who weren’t shifters know so that I never had to have that conversation.”
“Then that’s just one more thing you’ve messed up, isn’t it?”
Her words cut me. She never spoke like that to me. Never. Her judgment of me, of my failure, made it seem final and irrevocable. Not just a mistake, but a grave error that would scar me for life.
“I’m sorry, Jessie. I didn’t plan this. I didn’t plan to have my brother and his wife die. I didn’t plan to become a single father. You came to me, remember? You said you’d be Peyton’s nanny. I needed someone and your sister was friends with Alaina, so it made sense. But I didn’t think…”
“You didn’t think what?” She finally looked at me and began to sob.
“Just don’t do this, please. Let’s at least talk about this and think things through before you make a decision. I mean, that’s my baby, too. That’s my son or daughter growing inside you.”
As I said it, the words sunk in. My child. I had a child. Tiny, growing, inside the woman I loved but couldn’t tell.
Her body shook violently as she continued to cry. “But I’m—I’m so scared, Conner. How am I going to do this?”
My throat thickened. I needed to find the words to get through to her. “Jessie.” I slid down in front of her and took her hands in mine. I pressed her hand to my cheek and let the tears flow. “I love you. I know I’m not perfect; I’m not even close. But you make me better. You make me want to be better. This baby—” I dared to put my hand on her stomach and was relieved she didn’t push it away— “This baby is here now. It’s part of you and me. That means something. It’s a new life. In the middle of all this death, there’s something new. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never been in love, and I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to be a father. I’m failing Peyton every day. You know that better than anyone. But I want to be better. You can help me do that; you already have. I can be myself with you. I can let go and be free. I feel safe with you, and I haven’t felt that since I was a kid. And now… You said we all need to have a purpose. I haven’t had one. But I do now. This baby, our child, us…” I looked up at her, blinking through my tears to see her face. “You’re my purpose. Our family—you, me, Peyton, and this new little baby—you’re my purpose.”
She blinked back at me. I wanted her to say something. Anything. I pleaded with my eyes, but she just stared. And then, I had another thought: I would have to prove it to her.
“Jessie Miller. I need you more than I’ve ever needed anyone in my life. I love you. I want to be with you forever, and I want us to share a family and a life together. I want to raise this baby with you and be the man I know I should be; the man I can be with you by my side. I promise I will love you and sacrifice everything for our family. I will do whatever it takes. I’ll clean up and get more help. I’ll learn how to be a father. I’ll do better. I’ll be better. I’ll be whatever you need. Please. Stay with me. Love me. Marry me. Be mine forever.”
Her mouth popped open. “What?”
“Marry me. Please.”
She swallowed and licked her lips, then, very slowly and softly, responded. “I will.”
19
Jessie
He bowed at my feet and cried.
My fiancé.
I couldn’t make the word sound right. Had I just gotten engaged? Had he just proposed? I put my hand on his head. His crying became wracking sobs that shook his shoulders. I knew he needed this; he needed to let out so much pain he’d kept buried inside for so long.
I wondered if he could really do all he promised. Could he really stop drinking? Could he really learn become a good father? He seemed genuine, but I was still in shock from everything so much, that I didn’t know what to think.
He looked up at me, his eyes as red as mine had been earlier. “I’m sorry I don’t have a ring. I didn’t realize I’d be proposing today.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of been a crazy day.”
“To say the least. I have something else to tell you, too.”
I braced myself, not sure if I could handle much else. “Is everything okay?”
“More than okay. They found the bastard who killed Logan and Alaina.”
“Are you serious? That’s incredible!”
“It was a shifter who did it. A crocodile. We’ve been—”
“Crocodile? There are crocodile shifters?”
“In the Everglades, we have crocodiles, panthers, wolves, and of course, bears.”
Okay then. At some point, I’d stop being shocked by this. Just not yet. “Wow.”
“Yeah.” He pulled his mouth into a half smile. “Usually, we all get along. But the crocs don’t want other shifters in the area, so they’ve been causing problems. My clan leader, Owen, had to save his now-wife from being attacked by one. We just dealt with a huge panther attack, and now this. We have a conclave—a group of representatives from all different types of shifters—that’s like our judicial system. They’re going to come and decide what to do with him. He’ll likely be killed.”
“Ah. That shifter justice system you mentioned before.”
“Right.”
“Wait, so is Peyton in danger? Are you? Am I?” My hand went to my stomach instinctively. I still worried about giving birth to a bear, but knowing Conner’s commitment of being with me through it all made it easier to handle.
“Not that I know of specifically. The crocs are somewhat of a threat to shifters in general, but that’s what we’re fighting to stop. And so far, it’s been just them. And once we find out why, we can end it. A lot of us want to ban the crocs from the ‘Glades altogether.”
I nodded. “I think I like that plan.”
He flashed me a grin. “Are you okay with all this?” he asked. “You must be tired, if nothing else. It’s nearly morning, and it’s been a long night.”
“I’m exhausted.”
“Can we just go to sleep and talk more in the morning?”
“Where’s Peyton?”
“At Owen and Addie’s.” He stood and held out his hand. I put mine in his and let him help me up, then lead me to the bedroom. “I can’t wait to introduce you to my clan. You’ll love Addie and Hailey. Ezra’s girl, Britt, is a panther, so she’s not part of our clan in the same way, but she’s still considered a member and is always around. She’s cool. We’re all like family.”
“They’re all shifters?”
“In our clan, yes.” He gave me an apologetic smile. “Does that make it weird?”
“What’s weird about hanging out with a bunch of people who turn into animals?” I laughed.
“Right. Well, they’re all very welcoming.” Once we reached the bedroom, he pulled his shirt off. “Do you want something to sleep in?”
I shook my head as I unhooked my bra and slid it out from under my shirt, then stepped out of my pants. He kicked off his shorts and slid into bed in his boxers. Seeing him again—all
of him—gave me that same thrill I’d felt before. His hard, muscular body, adorned with tattoos, all there for me to see. And I was going to have that by my side forever? I couldn’t believe it.
“I hope our child looks like you.” I slid in under the covers and snuggled close to him.
“Are you kidding me? I hope he or she is even half as gorgeous as you are.”
He pulled me close and I melted a little. I’d wanted this so badly. As freaked out as I’d been, as angry and confused and distraught I’d been all night, what I really wanted was to be able to be close to him again. I hadn’t thought it would have happened. And there I was. Not only with him, but soon to be his wife.
“Are we really engaged?” I asked. “Are you really going to marry me?”
“Are you already having doubts?”
“Yes.”
I felt him stiffen.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” I continued. “I’m doubting all sorts of reality today.”
“So, does that mean you don’t know if you want to be my wife?”
“I do. More than anything. I love you, Conner. I’ve loved you for a while now.”
“You have?” His voice wavered.
“I should have told you sooner.”
“You should have. You know, no one has ever said that to me before.”
“I’m sure your parents did,” I corrected.
“You know what I mean. Not in the romantic sense.”
“Not to me, either.”
“First loves never die, isn’t that what they say?”
“Who’s this they?” I asked. “They also say there’s no such thing as werewolves and vampires. I don’t trust they one bit.” I laughed. “Conner?”
“Yes, love?”
The pet name washed over me like a warm shower. I smiled. “Is it true that there’s no way to become a shifter? Like by being bitten or something?”
“It’s true. You’re either born a shifter or you’re not.”
“Am I going to give birth to a cub?”
He sucked in a breath. “Well, there’s no chance at all that the baby will born in bear form. But there’s a 50/50 chance that he or she will be a shifter.”
“Huh?”
“When shifter women give birth, if they’re in their animal form, the baby is born in animal form. If they’re in their human form, the baby is born in human form. If both parents are shifters, like in Peyton’s case, it’s a 100% chance that the baby will be a shifter.”
“Yeah, Nikki told me about Peyton. I still can’t believe that tiny little thing is capable of morphing into a bear.”
“Huh. She knows?”
“She said Alaina told her.”
“I wonder why. Did she tell you about us outright?”
“No, she happened to come up behind me when I was researching shifters on my laptop, and she asked me a lot of questions until I admitted that you’d told me a secret related to my search, and then she put two and two together…”
“Okay. She knows it’s an important secret, though, right?”
“Definitely.”
“Okay, then. Let’s sleep now.”
“Conner?”
He let out a sigh. “Yes, honey?”
“Will you make love to me first?”
He chuckled. “Are you kidding?” He nuzzled his nose into my neck and started to kiss me. “Tonight, tomorrow, and every night for the rest of our lives.”
“Mmm,” I moaned as he sent chills over my skin. “I like that arrangement.”
He kissed down to my nipples and sucked on one and I reveled in the sensation. They were even more sensitive those days; I wondered if anything else would feel different because of the pregnancy.
“How do you like this arrangement?” he asked, yanking my panties off and making his way down to the apex of my thighs with his mouth.
“Oh god,” I moaned as he teased my sensitive bundle of nerves with the tip of his tongue. “I love when you do that.”
“How about this?” He slid a finger inside me. A wave of pleasure ran over me as he moved it in and out and continued to flick me with his tongue.
I answered him with a moan. I could feel my wetness as he moved his finger around, plunging it in deeper. But his finger wasn’t enough. I wanted more of him.
He kept working me until I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t want to come just yet, I wanted to draw it out; to wait until I couldn’t hold back any longer.
When I got too close, I gently tugged on his hair and he crawled up my body, kissing me along my neck to my jaw. He pulled my lip into his mouth and sucked gently.
“My turn,” I said.
He raised an eyebrow. “Okay…”
“Lie down.”
He obeyed. His cock stood at full-mast, thick, rock-hard and begging for attention. I took it in my hand, feeling its smoothness as I stroked it. I watched his face; I liked the way he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw at the pleasure of my touch.
I leaned forward and slid my lips over his member, stroking its base while I sucked him, moving my mouth up and down along with my hand. I took him as deep as I could, opening the back of my throat a bit to accommodate his length.
“Oh god,” he moaned. “Yes.”
He put his hand on my head, running his fingers through my hair. “Damn,” he pulled back suddenly and gave a half chuckle. “You’re a little too good at that. I don’t want to come just yet. Why don’t you come over here?”
I gave him a satisfied smile and climbed on top of him, my breasts pressed flat against his chest. I rubbed against him, letting his shaft get wet between my aching folds, driving myself mad in the process. He reached down and positioned himself at my opening and I sat up slightly, letting him slip inside me before I began to grind against his cock.
Grabbing my hips, he pulled me down harder, driving himself even deeper. I liked being on top; it gave me more control. As I rode him, every time our eyes met, his stare thrilled me.
He pulled me down close to him and grabbed my behind. “I love this ass.”
I answered with a moan.
“I want to see you touch yourself,” he said.
“Yeah?” I kissed him and began to buck my hips against him even faster.
I stuck my fingers in my mouth, then dragged them down my torso, reaching for my pleasure pearl. He gave a wicked smile as I started to rub myself in circles—slowly, at first, but then picking up speed to match the rhythm of his thrusts. Feeling tiny jolts of electricity beginning to tingle in my extremities, I added another finger and worked myself even harder, knowing my climax was just moments away. As I moaned out, constricting more and more tightly around his shaft, he pounded into me even faster. The sensation rushed through me so hard, it sent me over the edge, crying out loudly as he grabbed my hips, thrusting into me with full force. Seconds later, I felt his dick throbbing with his heartbeat as he reached his peak, filling me with his essence.
I lay flat on his chest, breathing fast.
“Did you like that?”
“Are you kidding?” I breathed.
He chuckled. “Good. I just want to make you feel good. Forever.”
“I want to let you.”
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but when I felt him slip out of me, it seemed like hours had passed and the day had grown light. I nuzzled into him and drifted back to sleep.
20
Jessie
“You have nothing at all to worry about,” Conner said for the tenth time.
“But there’s just so many of them,” I said.
Peyton bounced in the backseat. “Clan time, clan time,” she sang.
“See? Even Peyton loves them.”
I glanced back at her, her pigtails bouncing as she moved from side to side.
“Yeah, but I think she’s actually just on a sugar high.”
In the months since I moved in with Conner and Peyton and had left my awful job, Peyton seemed to have become a different person. She was t
hrilled to see me again, just as much as I was to see her. We’d had a tearful reunion, followed by a long talk where Conner apologized and shared his feelings with her more than he ever had. He asked her if she wanted me to come back as her nanny. She gave him an emphatic yes and jumped into my arms.
When he asked her what she thought of me moving in, she squealed with joy. And then, when she found out we were going to have a baby and get married, she ran around the room in circles, cheering.
Conner had looked at me with wide eyes. “I haven’t seen her like this in months.”
We still had plenty of sad moments, and Logan and Alaina would always be sorely missed. We talked about them as much as we could. By then, I felt like I knew them in a way, from everything Conner and Peyton had told me about them and all the photos and videos I had seen. It seemed to help Peyton to sit with Conner and me and reminisce about their family trips and times together. She would always cry at some point and we would hug her; often, we cried along with her. Conner, especially, had gotten much better about letting his grief out and allowing Peyton to see him cry. The first time it happened, Peyton had looked at him and gave him such a sweet hug, it brought tears to my eyes—not that it took much those days, with all the extra hormones circulating around my body.
We were on our way over to Owen and Addie’s house. I’d met them briefly a few times, but that day, I’d be meeting the entire clan, spending time getting to know them. It was both an engagement party and pregnancy celebration, they said. Addie had promised that we’d also have a baby shower when the time grew closer, where we could kick the men outside and oooh and ahh at the tiny baby clothes to our hearts’ content.
Addie had emphatically told me I was not allowed to bring anything—so, I’d baked cupcakes. Once they found out that the color of the filling inside would reveal the baby’s gender, I figured she couldn’t complain too much.
When we pulled in, the sight of the decorations and lights and so many people made me feel even more overwhelmed.
