Three balls went into the corner pockets, two striped and one solid. He called stripes. He stood up, proud of himself.
“I’m impressed, but don’t count me out.”
“Never.”
I let Josh chalk my cue stick too. I had him kiss it for good luck. He thought that was funny. Ryan and I took turns entertaining him between turns. I elicited Josh’s help in making lots of noise while it was his daddy’s turn, but that wasn’t working. Ryan was good, even better than my dad, who had some mad skills that he had passed on to me.
“Where did you learn how to play?” I asked him after his fifth ball went in flawlessly on the right-side pocket.
“Here in this basement.”
“Really?”
“It was cheaper than therapy.”
I looked between him and Josh, who sat on my lap. I felt very sorry for them both. I knew how it felt to have your world uprooted. “I’m sorry.”
Ryan stood up from his stance over the table and locked eyes with me. “I am sorry, Charlee. I’m not embarrassed to be with you. I know I have some things to get over, but I enjoy spending time with you. There’s something about you.”
“And what’s that?”
“For starters, you have this way of making everything and everybody come to life around you.” He gave me that charming smile of his. “Please come out with Josh and me?”
“Well, since it looks like I’m going to lose anyway . . . Apparently, my dad has been holding out on me.”
“I don’t know about that. I just needed a good friend at the time.”
“I can relate to that.” I squeezed Josh.
“So, I’m starving. Do you want to go?” He set down his stick.
I raised Josh’s arms up. “Daddy wins.”
“Yay!” Josh shouted.
We let Josh sit on the table and push all the balls into the pockets. I’m not sure if my dad would appreciate it, but it kept Josh occupied for a moment while his dad kissed me. “I missed you this weekend,” he whispered against my lips and held me close.
“You sound surprised.”
“As always, with you.”
Chapter Sixteen
Charlee and Ryan take two. So this was where we stood. It was interesting ground. My dad was right, dating a divorced dad was a little tricky. Ryan and Victoria had agreed that if ever they dated someone that they would be introducing Josh to, they would get approval from each other. I guess I was lucky woman number one, and from the sounds of it, Victoria wasn’t thrilled with the idea, which was odd since I had spent a lot of time with Josh before I started dating Ryan. In a way, I could understand. I didn’t mind that Ryan made her aware of me, she was the mom and I respected that. I didn’t appreciate when she called me and lectured me about how to treat her son, that he would never call me mom, and my favorite part, “I just assumed you were his babysitter from the way Josh and Ryan talked about you. I’m surprised that Ryan would even consider dating someone so young.”
I bit my tongue. I figured having words with her wasn’t going to help my cause any, besides, it wasn’t like we were planning on anything serious. We were only dating. She didn’t need to worry about Josh calling me mom, I was quite fond of Cherry.
I didn’t mention the call to Ryan. I assumed he knew it took place since he gave her my number, which I didn’t love him for, but I got it. I would be protective of my kid too, but I hoped that I would be a heck of a lot nicer than she was. I would hope I would try and be friends with the other woman. Hopefully, I would never be in that situation. I hated divorce, and I prayed I would never have one of my own, especially if there were children involved.
Ryan and I weren’t running around announcing that we were seeing each other, but in light of our first little blow-up, he avoided acting like he was embarrassed to be seen with me. Even at the office, if we would go out to lunch, he would come to my office and get me. He would even touch the small of my back as we walked out together. I knew we turned some heads, but it didn’t bother me at all.
I found a confidant in Felicity, who happened to be taking a lot of interest in me. I had Krissy and she would be forever my go to girl, but it was nice to have a more mature woman’s perspective. Felicity and I started having standing lunch dates on Tuesdays. It was perfect timing since Victoria had called the night before, and I was still trying to process the whole conversation, which was basically one sided. All I could think of to say at the end was that I loved Josh and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt him and that I would do whatever I could to protect him. She pretty much scoffed at it and hung up.
“So what do you think?” I asked Felicity after regurgitating the whole conversation with Victoria.
Her ice blue eyes peered at me in a maternal sort of way. She contemplated what to say. “I’m trying to leave my bias for both you and Ryan out of this,” she began. “She didn’t win a lot of points with me. Her behavior and attitude toward Ryan over the years when she would come in was anything but impressive. But I will give her this, she loves that little boy of hers.”
“I know, and I respect her for that, but I don’t want her to feel like she can walk all over me.”
“She most certainly doesn’t have the right to do that. What does Ryan think?”
“I didn’t tell him about it. He’s still trying to come to terms with me, and I didn’t want to add any more doubts.”
“What you mean, come to terms with you? He looks pretty smitten from where I stand.”
“I wouldn’t call him smitten, more like he has moments of Charlee appreciation.”
She laughed at me. “I like that, Charlee appreciation.”
“I would prefer Charlee infatuation, but maybe we’ll work our way up to it.”
She patted my hand on the table. “I’m pretty sure you’re already there. If you could see the way he looks at you when you walk by or come to talk to your dad, he gets lost in you.”
I liked the sound of that, but his actions didn’t quite translate. I mean, sometimes I felt like that. Like that morning after we were done with our run and walking toward my gate, he reached for my hand and pulled me to him and kissed me ever so sweetly. Enough to get the blood flowing again, but as always, he cut it short. Just as I felt like we were getting to the good part, you know, the part where I sink into him and for a moment we only existed for each other. Every time I would get to that place, he would abruptly part from my lips and release me from his hold. It was frustrating.
“So what about you, Felicity? Do you mind me asking if you date?”
She sat up straighter and smiled nervously.
“I’m sorry. Did I overstep my bounds?”
“Not at all. It’s just, there is somebody and it’s complicated.”
I held up my Diet Coke. “Well, here’s to figuring it all out.”
She held up her lemonade and clinked glasses with me. “Amen.”
Ryan and I spent a rare evening alone at his house that night curled up on his couch watching the Rockies. And unfortunately, we were watching the game. I could think of better ways to employ our time alone, but I tried my best to enjoy being in his arms and yelling at the umps to get glasses or a new job.
“Wow, you’re feisty,” Ryan commented.
“Sorry, bad refs of any kind are a huge pet peeve of mine, but I come by it honestly. My dad has been kicked out of a couple of my games before.”
He kissed the side of my head. “Just remind me not to get on your bad side.”
“I don’t have a bad side,” I teased.
“True. All of your sides look good to me.”
I turned and smiled at him. “Flattery will get you everywhere.”
“Really? Is that all it takes with you?”
“No, not really.”
“That’s what I thought.” He leaned in and barely brushed my lips. Did he know how frustrating that was for me? It was like he was teasing me, but it reminded me of my conversation with Felicity earlier.
“
Hey, do you know who Felicity dates?”
His look asked if I was joking.
“Yeah, I know, odd change of subject, but she mentioned she was seeing someone today, but that it was a complicated situation.”
“I don’t know. I try to stay out of the employee’s personal lives.”
I arched my eyebrows. “Is that so?”
“With the exception of a couple of people.”
“Really? Are you seeing someone else there I should know about?”
He rolled his gorgeous green eyes at me. “I meant your dad.”
“He’s all right, I guess.”
“I’m kind of partial to his daughter.”
“Well, what a coincidence, she’s kind of partial to you.” This time I took matters into my own hands and leaned in and kissed him. He hesitated, as if he had to think about it for a moment when I pressed my lips against his. I had never had a guy behave like him. I was about to ask him if he had an aversion to kissing me, but it was like something finally clicked. He reached up and placed his hands behind my head. His lips pressed firmly against mine. I sank into him and my lips parted. He responded by working his strong hands up and through my hair, in turn drawing me closer to him. Finally, I thought, but just as I thought it, his lips released my own. His hands found their way to my arms where he held me in place. He stared at me as though he was troubled.
“Is everything okay?” I was so confused. Maybe he thought I was a horrible kisser or maybe I had bad breath. I was pretty sure the latter wasn’t the case, I brushed, flossed, and OD’d on breath mints, but I couldn’t judge on whether I was a good kisser or not. I hadn’t had any complaints, but who knew.
“Everything’s great.”
“Okay …” I turned from him. He resumed putting his arm back around me. I settled against him. Unease hung in the air.
That phrase pretty much described our relationship, uneasy. I wasn’t sure why it was. We got along great. When we were together, our time was full of great conversations and lots of fun, but there was always this unseen barrier. I felt like he didn’t want to let me in all the way, and I couldn’t let him in because he was so unsure with me. That was how we rounded out July and the first half of August.
In the midst of my uncertain relationship with Ryan, I was contemplating my future plans. I decided to apply to both CU and CSU’s Master of Psychology programs for a winter term start. I wrote the most amazing essays explaining why I would be a fabulous candidate. It was a little bit of a sob story, but I really, really wanted to get in. I also took the third part of the CPA exam and, not to be modest, I passed with flying colors. I was also looking at apartments online and during my lunch hours. I was saving up as much money as I could living at home, in hopes of being able to move closer to whichever school chose me, if either did. I still hadn’t broached the subject with my dad. He was happy with the way things were. In fact, he was ridiculously happy, as of late. I kept asking him why, and he would always point to me, but I got the feeling it wasn’t only me.
My relationship with Ryan, though, consumed a lot of my thoughts, and as much as I liked him and wanted to be with him, I was beginning to feel like it would be best if we took a step back. Again, we had a great time together, but I always felt like he was uneasy with me. I had just about decided that’s what I was going to do, but then he threw me for a loop.
We had just finished a 10k before work because we were still training for the race in September. It had been a rough one for me. Ryan was a better runner, and he pushed me, which was good, but some mornings I wanted to give up. It had been one of those mornings.
We stopped when we came to his house. I was out of breath, but he was almost back to normal breathing patterns. How he did it, I didn’t know. I was stretching out my muscles and trying to regulate my breathing when he approached me. He took my reddened face in his hands. “Have I mentioned lately how beautiful I think you are?”
“No, and I’m not sure that when I’m a hot mess is the right moment.”
“I know I should say it more. You are beautiful and . . . hot.” He rubbed his thumbs across my cheeks. His eyes looked inviting, but I had been fooled before, so I stuck to gazing into them.
“Thanks, Ryan.”
He narrowed his eyes at my lack of enthusiasm. “Charlee,” he whispered. He leaned his face toward mine and rested his sweaty forehead against my own. “I hope you haven’t made any plans for this weekend because I want to monopolize all of your time.”
“I guess I’ll have to cancel all my other dates.”
He groaned before his lips melded briefly with mine. “I would say that’s funny, but I don’t find it comical at all.”
“I thought it was hilarious.”
He kissed me once more. “So, I’ll pick you up after I get Josh.”
“Uh huh,” I whispered.
“I can’t wait.” He headed toward his opened gate.
I walked off, shaking my head. I wasn’t sure what to make of him. Did he know I was thinking about taking a step back to reevaluate? Or did he really want to be with me? Sometimes it was hard to tell with him.
At work I was even more surprised when a bouquet of white roses was delivered to me. The card read simply, See you tonight, beautiful. I sighed and held the card to my chest. I looked up the meaning of white roses. They are meant to express hope in the future. I liked that . . . a lot.
I instant messaged Ryan through our office’s messaging system. I got the flowers, they’re beautiful, and so are you. Thank you.
He replied right back, You’re welcome. Prepare yourself for a weekend of fun.
I’m more than ready.
Perfect. I’ll see you soon.
My hopes about our relationship soared in a way that they hadn’t previously. Maybe there was some hope for us after all.
Ryan was true to his word, he had planned a super fun weekend. Friday night was laser tag, which Josh found to be amazing. I had more fun watching him trying to shoot his daddy than playing myself. I found that I missed Josh during the week. I couldn’t even imagine how Ryan felt. I knew Krissy thought it was weird that a lot of our dates included Josh, but I liked it.
That night Josh asked if I would put him to bed. I was pleased and honored, but I looked to Ryan for approval. Ryan nodded and smiled. Josh took me by the hand and pulled me toward his room. I grabbed onto Ryan’s hand. “I think your dad should help.”
Ryan smiled, got up, and followed us.
I didn’t want to take away one of his nights. He only had a few every week.
Ryan took one side of his bed, and I took the other. I pulled Josh’s light blanket over him and read his favorite book about fire trucks to him. When the book was over, Josh requested that I sing for him.
Ryan looked surprised. It wasn’t the first time I had put Josh to bed, but it was the first time with his dad there. I had watched him a couple of times when my dad and Ryan had late night business meetings with clients or potential clients, and then there was that time I babysat when he’d had a date.
I brushed Josh’s brow gently with my hand. He had the softest skin. I loved his curly red hair and those eyes that looked just like his dad’s. “What do you want me to sing?”
“Close your eyes,” he requested. Not quite the title, but close enough.
I sang softly, and Josh closed his eyes. I snuck a glance at his dad who was looking at me tenderly. I finished and kissed Josh’s forehead.
He opened his big eyes. “I love you, Cherry.” He had never said that before.
My heart melted into a big pile of goo. “I love you, too.” I kissed his forehead once more. “Sleep tight.”
I looked over to find Ryan looking unsure. He turned to his son and hugged and kissed him goodnight.
We walked out quietly together. As soon as we were in the living room, I pulled him to me until we were face to face. “Did it bother you that Josh said he loved me?”
His gaze was thoughtful. “No, I just worry.”
“For starters, what his mom will think. This isn’t easy for her. I think she feels threatened by you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re young, beautiful, and fun. I think Josh talks about you quite a bit.”
I couldn’t help but smile about that fact. I was touched he talked about me. “I’m not trying to replace his mother. And from what I remember, she’s young and beautiful, too.”
“She’s older than me.”
“Really? So you like older women?”
“It’s usually who I’ve dated in the past.”
“Oh.”
He let go of my hand and placed his on the small of my back, pulling me toward him. He smiled seductively. “But, I’m thinking of turning over a new leaf.” He kissed me. Our lips matched so perfectly together, but I let him be the guide, and as always, the tour was sweet, but short.
I didn’t want to be done with him. I embraced him and let my head fall on his shoulder. I had this desire to be close to him, and not just physically. I was happy when he reciprocated and drew me as close as he could. I felt the lightest of kisses on the top of my head. I wanted to stay like that forever. But this wash of warmth hit me like a tidal wave. I felt more than I should for him, at least at this point in our relationship. It scared me, for more reasons than one. I was the one to back away this time.
It was his turn to look confused. “Are you okay?”
I nodded and gave him a small smile. I tried to shake off the feeling and the temporary insanity of it, but it wasn’t going anywhere as I looked at him. I wasn’t sure where it was all coming from. This was new to me. I was grateful for the early day we planned on having the next day; it gave me a great excuse to leave. I wasn’t ready for such feelings for him, especially since I knew they weren’t shared. I told myself to relax—no one had to know but me.
Trouble in Loveland (The Loveland Series Book 1) Page 20
