Aria's Christmas Wish

by Victorine E. Lieske

  “Mommy! Come look!” Aria called from the other room.

  Kendra jumped back from Jacob, her lungs pulling in the air she desperately needed. Her heart beat out a staccato rhythm. “Okay,” she said, when she thought her voice wouldn’t fail her. “Coming.”

  Jacob ducked his head, running a hand over his hair.

  “Are you okay?” she asked quietly.

  He nodded. “Go to her. I’m fine.”

  Her knees wobbled as she walked into the other room. Kissing Jacob had awakened her memories. All the old feelings had come back, only this time they felt magnified. She loved Jacob, with all her being. She needed him in her life.

  As she entered the living room, Aria turned to her. “Come see, I finished the puzzle!”

  Sitting on the coffee table next to her puzzle was Aria’s Dora radio. She’d turned on her favorite station, and Jacob’s low voice crooned from the speakers. Kendra sucked in a breath.

  She loved Jacob. Needed him. But he was a famous country music star. His life was not in Highland Falls. It never would be. He was leaving to go on tour after Christmas. He had fans to sing to, albums to create, and no time to be with her.

  She forced herself to smile at Aria. “Very good, sweetie. You did a great job.”

  Aria began ripping apart the puzzle. “I’m going to do it again.”

  “Okay. That’s a good idea.”

  Kendra slowly walked back into the kitchen, her heart in her throat. Jacob was back to pacing the floor. When she entered, he stopped and turned toward her. “I have to go. I need to take care of some things. Will you be all right for a couple of days? Do you need any money?”

  Kendra stared at him, a cold feeling spreading through her stomach. This was it. This is what she had been dreading all this week. “You’re leaving?”

  “Just for a couple of days.” He pulled out his wallet and took out some bills. He extended them to her. “Please take this.”

  He was disappearing. Again. That figured. That’s what he was good at. She took a step back. “I don’t want your money, Jacob. I’m not one of your employees.” She spat the words.

  “It’s not like that.” He put the money back, looking like maybe he realized it had been insulting. “I’ll be back before Christmas.”

  Frustration and anger burned in Kendra’s throat. If she welcomed him back, he’d just leave her again. And again. She was not going to be so stupid this time. She wasn’t going to sit around and wait for Jacob Mitchell to come back into her life. She was done staring out the window, waiting. She had a chance to start fresh. A new job. A new life.

  And she needed to let Jacob go.

  “I don’t want you to come back.” Kendra swallowed, a sick feeling sticking in her gut.

  “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  He shoved his wallet back into his pocket. “I heard you, but I don’t understand. I just need to take care of a few things. I’m coming back.”

  Kendra stiffened. “But then you’re leaving again.”

  “Maybe not. I need to go see how much it would cost me to cancel my tour.”

  The words shocked Kendra, but she swallowed back the hope that he was telling her the truth. The reality was, he would always be leaving her. “If it’s not this tour, it will be another one.”

  His eyes grew wide. “What do you want me to do? Quit my job? Stop making albums? That’s crazy, Kendra. I can’t do that.”

  Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she sounded like a lunatic, but she couldn’t help it. Jacob hadn’t cared enough about her six years ago to come find her and figure out what had happened. She didn’t want to follow him to Nashville, only to be left on the curb when someone else came along. “And I can’t sit around here, waiting for you.”

  “Two days! I’m going to be gone for two stinkin’ days. And you’re saying you can’t handle that?”

  She sighed and folded her arms across her chest. “No. I’m saying I can’t handle being unimportant in your life.”

  Saying it out loud, hearing the words confessed in the open air, made it more real somehow. That was the real reason she couldn’t fall back in love with Jacob. Because he hadn’t loved her enough to come looking for her. Tears sprang to her eyes and she ran from the room, locking herself in her bedroom.

  She threw herself onto her bed, the tears blurring her vision. The front door opened and slammed shut, and she heard Jacob’s boots crunch the snow. Then his car started and he took off. Out of her life for good.

  Chapter 19

  Jacob walked into his manager’s office, his nerves tied up. He clenched his hands as Rick turned around in his office chair, his eyebrows high on his forehead, like they were chasing his receding hairline. He was sharp and had a great eye for the music business. “Jacob. I thought you were visiting your mother.”

  “I am. I was, I mean. I came back because I’ve had a family emergency and I need to know how much it would cost me to cancel these two upcoming tours.”

  Rick’s mouth fell open as he shuffled papers around on his desk. “Cancel them? What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

  “No. But a family member is. How much?”

  Silence suffocated the room for a moment while Rick stared at the ceiling, doing some mental calculations. “Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Maybe as much as eight-hundred thousand.” He gave Jacob a hard stare. “I wouldn’t advise it. Not unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

  Jacob let out a breath as he sat in the chair opposite Rick’s desk. Hundreds of thousands, but not millions. He could afford to lose that. “Let’s cancel them.”

  “What’s going on?” Rick pressed.

  “I met my estranged father. He’s dying. Only has three months to live.”

  Rick swore and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Geez, Jacob. I’m sorry.”

  “I need to take time off. I don’t want to do this to you, but I need more than the three months. Can we push back the next album release?”

  Rick eyed him. “Yes.”

  “How far?”

  “We can push it back a month. Maybe two. What else has come up?”

  How much did he want to tell Rick? Jacob trusted him, but he wasn’t sure how much Rick would understand. He shifted his weight and gripped the arm rests. “I have to right some wrongs.”

  “Regarding your father?”

  “No. This is about a woman.”

  Rick got a funny expression on his face. “This wouldn’t happen to be the woman with chocolate brown eyes and a laugh that’s so musical you know the notes by heart?”

  Having his own lyrics thrown at him made Jacob stiffen. “It might be.”

  Rick smiled. “All right. Take the time off. But I hope I’m not making a huge mistake.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I hope when you’re done you aren’t out of inspiration for creating new hit songs.” Rick gave him a knowing look.

  Jacob shook his head. “Believe me, when I’m through winning her back, there will be a wealth of inspiration.”

  Rick chuckled under his breath. “Good luck.”

  “I’ll need it.”

  Jacob left Rick’s office. The sun glared and he slipped on his sunglasses. He’d left Kendra yesterday, angrier than he’d been in a long time. But the longer he stewed about it, the more he realized Kendra wasn’t acting out of anger. She was hurt. And he’d been the one to hurt her.

  He’d told himself for years that it was her fault they’d broken up. She was the one who wouldn’t talk to him. But deep down he knew he was just as guilty. He’d left Highland Falls, angry at her for whatever stupid fight they’d had. It had been so long, he didn’t even remember what it was. And part of him expected her to be the one to make the move. To call and apologize to him.

  And when that didn’t happen, he’d been stubborn enough to let things die. He knew from watching too many stupid rom coms that women expected men to make a grand gesture. When she didn’t call, he should have hopped on a pla
ne and sought her out.

  Well, he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. He was not going to let Kendra walk out of his life without doing everything in his power to win her back. He was going to bend over backwards and give her the grandest gesture he could think up.

  He pulled out of the parking lot and headed to his home to start packing and making arrangements. He was going to need a place to rent in Denver, so he could be close to his father.

  And he needed to go ring shopping.

  Chapter 20

  Kendra paid the clerk and picked up the red and white stripped shopping bag. “Have a Merry Christmas,” the girl said, a bright smile on her face.

  Unlikely. It was Christmas Eve, and Kendra felt about as merry as a soggy piece of toast. There was nothing to be merry about. Jacob was gone, and she was jobless and if she didn’t manage to find work soon, she’d be moving back in with her mother. She loved her mother, but that was the last thing she wanted to do.

  She managed to nod as Aria tugged on the hem of her coat. “Can we go to the fountain?”

  “It’s the middle of the day, sweetheart. It’s won’t be all lit up until tonight.”

  “I don’t care. I want to put my wish in one more time.” Her blue eyes stared up at Kendra, and she couldn’t refuse. “All right.”

  Aria clapped her hands. “Yay!”

  “But hold my hand as we cross the street, okay?”

  Aria nodded. “Okay, Mommy.”

  Kendra pushed open the door and led her daughter down the sidewalk. Temperatures had actually gotten into the forties the last few days, and most of the snow had melted. Aria skipped along beside her as they neared the corner.

  “Can I have a penny?”

  “After we get to the fountain.”

  Aria was content with that answer and hummed a song as they crossed the street together. As soon as they stepped onto the other sidewalk, she took off for the fountain. Kendra chuckled under her breath, despite her dark mood. Her daughter had a way of making her laugh. At least she had Aria in her life. No matter how depressing things got, she had the sunshine of a little girl who loved her.

  “Hurry, Mommy.” Aria danced on her tip toes as Kendra came up the walkway. She gave her daughter a penny, and Aria took a good thirty seconds concentrating on her wish. Then, she tossed it into the fountain.

  Kendra swallowed, knowing what her daughter was wishing for. She had to get over whatever it was that blocked her. She had to sing to her daughter.

  The problem was, after having had Jacob back in her life for a few days, she’d fallen for him. And her heart was breaking all over again. But this time, it was worse.

  His songs. His music. It had weaved itself into her heart, and now that he was gone she was left with large, gaping holes missing. She was a ghost of a person again. Shattered, and lifeless.

  After she’d confessed that she felt like he didn’t think she was important in his life, she’d almost expected him to come after her. To knock on her bedroom door and reject that notion. She had hoped he would deny it.

  But no. He’d left. Just like he had so many years ago. And that’s what hurt the worst. But over these last few days she’d been thinking about how stupid she’d acted. Childish. She’d been unreasonable with him, and it was her fault that he was gone.

  “Open the door, Mommy.” Aria danced around the car, and Kendra snapped out of her thoughts. Had she really been standing there staring at her car keys?

  “Sorry.” Kendra got her daughter into the car and then slipped into the driver’s seat.

  “Turn on the radio.”

  Kendra didn’t want to turn on the radio. The last thing she wanted was to hear another one of Jacob’s hit songs playing. But she couldn’t keep her daughter from the magic of music. Not when it ran through her soul, like it had Jacob’s. “Okay.”

  She flipped on the country music station but then pressed the button to change to the one playing Christmas music. Aria clapped when Jingle Bell Rock came on. It was one of her favorites.

  This was it. This was the perfect opportunity to give her daughter what she wanted. Kendra just had to suck it up and sing along with the radio. She checked her rearview mirror, then pulled out into traffic.

  As the song played on the radio, Kendra worked up her courage and started singing along with the second verse. Aria joined in, and Kendra sang louder. They continued as the next song came on, Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

  Aria squealed as the song ended and a commercial came on. “You sang the songs, Mommy!”

  Kendra blinked back her emotions. “I did.”

  “That was my wish! My secret Christmas wish. And it happened!”

  Kendra faked a gasp. “It was?”

  “Yes. And it came early. One day before Christmas.”

  “Well,” she said, trying not to get emotional. “I’m glad it did.”

  “Me, too. I want you to sing and be happy.”

  Kendra gripped the steering wheel as she pulled into their driveway, her daughter’s words ringing in her ears. Be happy. That was impossible. She couldn’t be happy without Jacob.

  She bit her cheek as she realized what she’d just admitted to herself. He made her happy. She loved Jacob, and she was only half a person without him.

  Memories of their fight came to her again, like they’d plagued her for the last three days. She had acted so terrible to him. Just as she had years ago when they’d had a fight before she left for Europe. History had repeated itself. And now she was alone, just like last time.

  What had she done? Had she ruined her chance for happiness? She’d pushed Jacob away because she worried he was going to abandon her again. So, she’d made sure she was the one who walked. The one who shoved him away first.

  But it hadn’t protected her heart. It had shattered it.

  “Get out, Mommy,” Aria said from the back seat.

  “Oh.” Kendra realized she’d parked the car and was sitting there, the car running. She turned off the ignition and climbed out. Aria happily jaunted up the walkway with her.

  “What time is Santa coming tonight?”

  “Late. After you go to sleep.” Kendra opened the door.

  “And can we sing Christmas songs tonight?”

  Kendra slowly nodded. “All right, sweetheart.”

  Aria jumped up and down. “Yay! Can I watch Dora?”

  “Why don’t you get out your flannel board? We can decorate your Christmas tree. We’ve had enough screen time this morning.”

  Her shoulders slumped but she said, “Okay.”

  A noise came from the other room. It sounded like her phone, but she’d thought it was with her, in her purse. Had she left it at home again? She shook her head at herself and walked into the kitchen. Her phone buzzed with another text.

  Turn on the radio.

  Where are you? Turn on the radio NOW.

  Wow, what was she talking about? Something crazy must have happened. Maybe Janet won something from the radio. Kendra pressed to call Janet and waited for her to pick up.

  “Are you home? Do you have the radio on?”

  “Hello to you, too.” Kendra rolled her eyes, but her lips curled up in a smile. Janet was always such a drama queen.

  “Oh my gosh, there’s no time for that. Are you listening to the radio?”

  “No.”

  “Go turn it on. KLCD. Hurry!” Kendra could picture Janet waving her hands around like she was trying to blow her nails dry.

  “All right. Geesh. Just a second.” Kendra walked into the living room and grabbed Aria’s little Dora the Explorer radio. Aria didn’t notice, she was too busy playing with her felt shapes.

  Kendra brought it into her bedroom and shut the door. Then she flipped on the radio. It was already tuned to the country station. It was Aria’s favorite.

  The popular DJ Chad Anderson spoke, and it took a second for Kendra to realize what he was saying.

  “…have in our station with us a special surprise. Someone has
come in this morning, asking to get on the radio. Now, we don’t normally do this, folks, but this is someone you are all familiar with on this radio station, so we were apt to grant him this wish.”

  “Thank you so much, Chad.” Jacob’s voice was unmistakable, and Kendra sat down and gripped her bedspread.

  “Now, I’m going to tell you, when Jacob Mitchell entered my little sound booth, I was a bit star struck. It’s not every day that this small station in Colorado gets a visit like this. But enough about me. Jacob has something he’d like to say.”

  “Yes, I do, Chad. I’ve recently had some things come up in my personal life that have forced me to cancel my upcoming tour, and I’m deeply sorry about this. Don’t worry, all your tickets will be refunded. And in case you’re wondering, I’m fine, but a family member has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and I’m taking some time off from things.”

  Kendra drew in a shaky breath. He really did cancel his tour? Her mind spun with what that would mean for Jacob, financially, and for his relationship with his father.

  Jacob continued. “But that’s now why I’m here today.”

  “It’s not?” Chad asked.

  “No. Today, I need your help in correcting a mistake I made several years ago. I let someone slip away from me. Someone I shouldn’t have let go. And recently we’ve reconnected, but like an idiot I did something that upset her and I want to fix things between us.”

  “What can we do, Jacob?”

  “As I was flying back, I had this song come to me, so I wrote it down. I’ve never played it before, but I was wondering, would you let me sing it for the first time, on air?”

  “We’d be honored.”

  There were a few moments of silence, then the strum of a guitar, and Kendra’s heart lodged in her throat as she heard Jacob start to sing.

  My life was once so full and free,

  I had love, and love had me,

  But I walked away and never could see

  That you were the one who completed me.

  I love you, Kendra, I’m asking on bended knee,

  Will you marry me?