Everything I Want

by MacMillan, Jerica

  “Come with me to the wedding. You and Maddie.”

  I turn so I can look at him. “Really? Having Maddie there won’t be a problem?”

  “No,” he whispers against my shoulder. “Danny has a son who’s younger than Maddie. He’ll be there. This way they both have someone to play with. And you can meet everyone. I want you both with me. I don’t want to leave you before I have to.”

  “Okay,” I whisper back, resettling against him.

  His lips still skim my shoulder, his hips rocking against my ass, his dick nowhere near getting soft. With another groan, he brings his mouth back to my ear. “We’ll have to try again another time. Maybe when Maddie’s with her grandparents.”

  His teeth find their way to my neck, just a tiny scrape followed by a kiss, and I shiver in response. His lips curve against my skin, and I smile too.

  Whatever concerns or fears I might still have, it’s hard to say no when he so clearly wants me. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want him right back.

  While this might be madness, I guess we’re both jumping in head first.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Samantha

  “Samantha,” Kami’s voice singsongs from behind me as I leave a patient room to let the doctor know I’ve taken all her vitals and updated her medication.

  I let her catch up. “Hey, Kami.”

  “So? Do you have a babysitter lined up for tonight yet?”

  With a sigh, I shake my head. “My parents have plans and Aaron hasn’t answered my texts. I don’t think you’ll get your raincheck tonight.”

  Kami pokes out her lower lip in an exaggerated pout. “We haven’t gone out in forever.” She glances from side to side and leans in, her voice lowered dramatically. “And something tells me that you have some dishing to do. I need deets about the hot baby daddy, girl.”

  My cheeks heat, and I force out a huffy laugh. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Mmhmm. Suuuure you don’t.” She waits off to the side while I chat for a few seconds with Dr. Mallard before walking with me toward my desk and leaning against it when I sit down, a note of pleading entering her voice as she says, “Can you try Aaron again? I miss you.”

  “I know. I’m sorry I haven’t been around much lately. But he’ll be leaving on tour in a few weeks and …”

  “And that’s all the more reason we need to talk about this. Sooner rather than later. I can tell you’ve been bottling everything up. If you don’t let it out soon, you’ll explode. And it won’t be pretty.”

  “What won’t be pretty?” Kyle asks, obviously just catching the tail end of Kami’s speech.

  Kami lights up, turning to face him. “Samantha’s explosion if she doesn’t get a girls’ night out to relax and quit being so responsible all the time. She’s juggling single motherhood, a new visitation schedule, and a full time job. She hasn’t had a night out in ages, because I wasn’t available the last time she called me to do it. Tonight’s the night.”

  “Says you,” I put in.

  Kyle looks from Kami to me and back to Kami, a slight smile pulling at his lips. “Is Samantha being stubborn about going out with you? Do you need me to strongarm her into it?”

  “No no, that’s not the problem. Sam’s totally on board. But she’s having trouble finding someone to watch Maddie.”

  “Oh.” Kyle’s eyes track to me again. “Why can’t her dad watch her?” His lip curls on the reference to Aaron. It’s slight. So subtle that I might’ve missed it if I didn’t know him so well. But after working here and spending as much time with him, I know that lip curl.

  “I’ve texted him,” I say slowly, narrowing my eyes at Kyle, but he returns my look with his blandest face. “But he must be busy, because he hasn’t gotten back to me.

  Kyle grunts, that tiny sneer curling his lip again. What’s his problem with Aaron? They haven’t even met. And I’ve never said anything bad about him. Kyle knows that he didn’t abandon us. That the reason he’s been absent is because of me. I know Kyle loves Maddie. Shouldn’t he be happy that she’s getting to know her dad?

  I open my mouth, wanting to ask him what that face is about, but before I can, Dr. Mallard is back. Kyle and Maddie melt away while Dr. Mallard gives me instructions about a prescription and the need to have his last patient schedule a follow-up appointment.

  When he’s done, Kyle steps back into my space. “I can watch Maddie for you if you want to go out with Kami.”

  I spin in my chair, looking at his face, examining him for any of his earlier sneering. But he’s just giving me a gentle smile.

  “She’s right,” he says. “You do need time out. I’d come with you, but I’ll have to wait for another time, since someone has to watch Maddie. We’ve barely talked since Maddie’s dad entered the picture. We should get dinner soon.”

  “Thank you. That would be amazing. Both you watching Maddie now and dinner soon. You have to let me pay, though. As a thank you for babysitting.”

  He laughs, showing off his even white teeth and shaking his head. “We can argue about who pays later. Finish up your end of day work, and I’ll meet you at your house later so you can go out with Kami.”

  Turning back to my work, I can’t wipe the smile off my face. “Thanks, Kyle,” I call after him as he heads to his workspace.

  He holds up a hand to wave off my gratitude. “Don’t mention it.”

  Kami lasts until we’re seated at a high top table at our favorite restaurant and the waitress has left with our orders before pinning me with a laser-focused stare. “Okay. I’ve been incredibly patient. Now you have to tell me. Everything.”

  I raise my eyebrows. “What do you mean by everything?”

  She rolls her eyes. “Everything everything. Everything.” She bounces in her seat. “Are you together? Is he as amazing as you remember? Was he always that hot? Is he better in bed now?”

  With a self conscious laugh, I shake my head, using my straw to stir the ice in my tall glass of water. “Umm … I guess so? About being together.” I slide my eyes to the side, still unable to look my friend in the face. I’ve kept Aaron a secret for so long that it’s hard to share anything now. “We’re … figuring things out. Taking it slow.” Sooo slow. Painfully slow. Which I’m fully aware is one hundred percent my fault. But when things started moving faster than fast the other night and Maddie interrupted us, it was a bucket of ice water.

  She’s starting to sleep in her own bed longer. Or she had been before Aaron entered the picture. And while she loves him and is taking his presence in stride, it’s not without consequences. When he’s not around, she’s a little more volatile. And she’s usually in my bed before midnight, rather than waiting till sometime between two and five like she’d been doing before Christmas.

  Which doesn’t leave a lot of time for adult activities. And we haven’t had time for just him and me.

  “Taking it slow, huh?” Kami’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts, bringing my eyes back to her.

  Nodding, I sip my water.

  “Does that mean you don’t have answers to my other questions? Specifically the one about being better in bed.”

  I cough, my water going down wrong. She just gives me an expectant look as she sips her own water, fully aware and unrepentant that she’s making me blush and choke on my water.

  “No,” I croak, coughing again. “No, I don’t have an answer to that question.” Though I can speculate, based on the things we’ve done with our clothes on. But I haven’t let myself speculate, because that kind of speculation leads to the realization that he’s had more practice, and I don’t have the right to be upset about him being with other women while we were apart. I don’t, I remind myself firmly.

  Kami’s eyes sparkle at me. “Okay, I’ll accept that. You have a busy four-year-old, so it’s not like you can just get it on whenever you want. So you’re taking it slow. What about my other questions?”

  I set my glass of water away from me and fold my arms
on the table, screwing up my face like I’m deep in thought. “What were they again?”

  Unfazed, she holds up a finger. “Has he always been that hot?” A second finger. “Is he as amazing as you remember?”

  “Yes, definitely on the second.” I sigh. “He was so mad at me at first, and I do not blame him one bit. If the situation were somehow reversed in some sort of alternate universe where women can be unaware of having a child, I’d be furious. But …” I bite my lip, shaking my head.

  “But?” Kami prompts.

  “But he never took it out on Maddie. He hasn’t been vindictive. And he forgave me when I apologized.” Looking down, I fiddle with my napkin, needing something to do with my hands. “I still feel like he shouldn’t have gotten over being mad that quickly. But I’m glad he did.”

  Reaching over, Kami lays her hand on my arm. “I’m glad he did too. I’d have to hate him if he were torturing you, and I love Cataclysm, so that’d be really hard for me.”

  Laughing, I toss my straw wrapper at her. She shrugs and grins at me.

  “As for your second question,” I continue, leaning back in my chair. “He was always cute, but he’s definitely gotten hotter. Before he had this little boy sweetness. There are glimpses of it still sometimes. Like when he smiles. Or the way he plays with Maddie. But he’s definitely not a boy anymore.”

  “No, ma’am. He is alllll man,” Kami agrees.

  “Hands off.” I point a finger at her, narrowing my eyes. “He’s mine.”

  She holds up her hands, laughing. “I’m not trying to make a move. Just making an observation.”

  Conversation moves to more general topics. She fills me in on some of her recent forays into online dating—which are all awful enough to make me glad I don’t feel the need to do that. She shrugs, munching on her nachos, and assumes a philosophical air. “Hey, at least I got a dinner out of it. And I have another red flag to add to my list.”

  “That’s one way to look at it,” I agree as I reach for my phone, which has alerted with several texts while Kami told me about her latest date. I always have it face down on the table when I go out, in case there’s a problem with Maddie. But it’s not Kyle texting me. It’s Aaron.

  “Who is it? From the look on your face, I’m guessing it’s not Kyle texting about Maddie.”

  I glance up at Kami. “Why do you say that?”

  She examines me thoughtfully, her chin resting on her hand. “You’ve never gotten that look on your face when Kyle texts you. Poor guy. That’s all he’s wanted from you since you started, you know.”

  “What? What has he wanted from me since I started?”

  She just waves her confusing comment away and tilts her chin at my phone. “Is it Aaron?”

  I can’t keep the smile off my face. “It is. He apologized for not getting back to me sooner. He was working on some new songs and had his phone off. He asked if I still want him to watch Maddie.”

  “Awww. He sounds like a keeper. Tell him no, you got it covered and to meet you here.”

  I widen my eyes. “But this is supposed to be our girls’ night.”

  She shrugs, scooping up another nacho. “And you’ve had zero time alone with your man. I got what I needed from you. It’s time for you to get what you need.”

  “Are you sure you’re not just angling to meet him?”

  She flutters her eyelashes, giving me her most innocent look and placing her hand over her chest. “Me? What? Why would you even think that?” We both laugh, and she rests her chin in her hand, looking me over with a smile on her face. “I’m not gonna lie, I do want to meet him, and if I didn’t love you so much, I’d be pissed you haven’t introduced me already. I realize none of this meets anyone’s definition of normal, and your time together is already limited, so I don’t blame you for keeping him all to yourself. But when the opportunity falls in my lap like this? Of course I’m going to jump on it.”

  “Thank you for your selflessness and understanding.”

  “Ha. You’re welcome, even though I know that was super sarcastic. Seriously, though. You two need time together. I might not have kids, but even I know that parents need kid-free time to make their relationship work.” She nods at my phone. “Text him back. Tell him to meet you here. Don’t worry, I won’t leave you high and dry.” Her cheshire smile never leaves her face.

  With an eye roll at her antics, I do what she says, holding my breath until Aaron texts back, Be there in 10.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Aaron

  “Table for one?” the hostess asks as I step inside the restaurant Sam texted me she was at. “Or are you waiting for the rest of your party?”

  “I’m meeting someone here,” I say as I scan the bar, squinting in the dim light, hoping for one of the hanging lamps to illuminate her face or light up the golden strands of her hair. The hostess says something, and I absently nod, not paying attention, and then I see Sam on the other side of the room, her face turning my way, obviously looking for me. We lock eyes, and a smile blooms on her face as I navigate the tables filled with people.

  “Hey!” A hand catches my arm, stopping my progress, and I stop to disentangle myself, irritated at the stranger keeping me from getting to Sam. “Don’t I know you?” Backwards hat, frat boy look, one beer in hand and an empty pitcher in the middle of the table, the guy seems to have had a few, enough to make him ignore the typical rules of not grabbing people as they walk past your table.

  I shrug, and shake my head. “Sorry, man. Don’t think so.”

  But he grabs my arm again, shaking his head. “No no, you look super familiar. Who are you? Are you famous?”

  “Nope. Just have one of those faces I guess.” Turning away, I move out of reach before he can grab me again, ignoring him calling after me that he thinks we went to high school together.

  Which, to be fair, is entirely possible. But I’m not in the mood to take a trip down memory lane with a drunk guy accosting me in a restaurant. Not when Sam’s waiting for me. Not when I can have an uninterrupted dinner out with her for the first time in … I don’t even know how long it’s been. We didn’t eat out much in high school, since we were both broke teenagers.

  But when I get to the table, I frown at the other woman sitting across from Sam.

  “Hey.” Sam’s voice, sounding a little breathless, draws my attention to her.

  My frown melts away. “Hey.” I lean down and kiss her lips. “Were your parents able to watch Maddie?”

  She shakes her head. “No. My friend Kyle’s watching her at my place. Kami insisted we have a girls’ night.” She gestures at the other woman.

  That frown makes a reappearance at the mention of some random dude watching my kid, but before I can say anything, the perky brunette across from Sam sticks out her hand and smiles at me, her eyes glowing with adoration. “I’m Kami.”

  My lips twist to the side as I shake her hand. “You’re a fan, I take it?” I don’t need to ask the question. I already know the answer.

  But she nods, her smile never faltering. “In more ways than one.”

  I’m expecting her to shove a napkin at me to ask for an autograph. Or maybe yank her top to the side to ask me to sign her bra strap. But she surprises me by hopping off her stool. “Well, you two kids have a nice night.” She pats my shoulder and leans in to give Sam a kiss on the cheek.

  “Wait,” Sam says. “You’re leaving? I thought …”

  Kami’s smile morphs from fangirl to indulgent friend. “I told you already. We’re good.” She tilts her head toward me. “But you need something that I can’t give you. I don’t have the right equipment.”

  I can’t help laughing as a blush creeps up Sam’s neck and cheeks.

  “See you at work!” Kami drops some cash on the table and waves as she saunters away, leaving Sam and me alone.

  Sam watches her go, shaking her head, but she doesn’t seem upset. I pull the seat Kami vacated around next to Sam and prop myself up on it, leaning in to kiss
her neck, drawing her attention.

  She gives a gratifying shiver, her hand going to my knee and hanging on. “Hey,” she says softly.

  “Hey to you too. I thought we already exchanged heys.”

  Her eyes sparkle under the lamplight. “So we did. I was excited when Kami told me to invite you to join us, because I feel like I haven’t seen you in way too long. But I thought we were going to hang out all together for a while. I didn’t expect her to bail immediately.”

  “Are you upset?”

  Her lips curve up, and she shakes her head. “Not even a little bit.”

  I kiss her mouth, unable to stop myself. “Good. Me either.”

  “Are you hungry? I can flag down the waitress so you can get something.”

  Ravenous. But not for food. I can’t say that, though. Not here. Instead I clear my throat. “Not really. I was eating when I finally checked my phone and saw your texts. But we can stay for you to finish.”

  She holds my eyes as she reaches for her drink and drains it, the straw slurping when there’s only ice and a millimeter of liquid left in the glass. It makes a thunk when she sets it on the table. “Done.”

  My eyebrows wing up, but I don’t hesitate to dig out my wallet, adding cash to what Kami already left, more than enough to cover whatever they’ve eaten plus a generous tip. Threading my fingers through Sam’s, I tug her off the stool and lead her to the door.

  She stumbles after me, laughing her surprise at my sudden movement, her free hand grabbing onto my wrist for balance as she catches up, getting her feet under her. “Where are we going?”

  I cast a glance back at her. “My place.”

  Having Sam all to myself in my place is a million fantasies and memories and dreams merging into one and coming true.

  When she cut off contact years ago, I’d mourned the loss of her. Hating that I’d agreed to break up because we weren’t going to the same college after high school. Believing when I left that we’d still stay in touch, and maybe we’d find our way back to each other.