by K. K. Allen
Chapter 13
Kai
My ribs didn’t stand a chance against the drumming of my heart. It was beating so fast, so hard, it felt like it was going to burst through skin and bone just to escape my mix of emotions at stepping onto the monstrosity in front of me.
White and standing more than fifty feet above the water was the biggest vessel I’d ever seen. I’d seen cruise ships before. Living in LA made them impossible to ignore, with tourists frequenting the harbor and downtown shops in San Pedro like a freaking parade was coming through the city. But this was the first time I ever saw one up close, looming majestically over the shore.
The exhilaration I felt in its presence was something unexpected—something strangely… refreshing. And despite my darkest memories and fears, I couldn’t help feeling a little excitement at what I was about to do. This was a luxury cruise ship on its maiden voyage, for heaven’s sake, and I was going to get to dance the lead to guaranteed full houses every single night.
Confidence blasted through me as each step brought me closer to the entrance ramp of the ship. But all it took was a seagull squawking overhead to make my insides scream back with resistance. I froze again and turned to Wayne.
“I can’t believe I’m about to do this.” I shook my head, my thick brown hair tossing around my face, sticking to my lips and the sweat seeping from my pores. I was a hot mess, literally, and ready to hop on the next bus out of town if Wayne refused to take me away. “Maybe I shouldn’t have lied on that application.” My panicked eyes flitted to my best friend’s. “Maybe I should have told them how anxious I am.”
He tilted his head, signaling his disagreement. “I don’t know, Kai. They probably would have never let you take the job. And then what?”
My eyes lit up with my last-ditch effort. “Then I’d live with you.”
Wayne sighed. “Stop. You’ll be docked for a whole month before you set sail. You can come on and off the ship as you please. Think about it. This is the perfect transition from land to sea. There’s nothing to freak out about.”
My eyes were wide as I turned toward him. “There’s nothing to freak out about? Tell that to my corpse after I keel over from a heart attack.”
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Or how about you take that prescription the doctor gave you for your anxiety and get yourself through this? At least until you get used to being on board.”
I sighed, wondering how I’d forgotten all about that. “I should probably take that. But it won’t help me forget what happened to him, Wayne. Nothing will.”
“Of course not. But there is a way to compartmentalize the pain of it and get back out on the water.” Wayne clutched my hand. “No one is saying it will be easy, but I think you owe it to yourself to try this. I think he’d want you to. Don’t you?”
I nodded, wishing I could physically remove the heaviness on my heart. I need to do this. For me. For my father. “I know. You’re right.”
He pushed out a sympathetic smile. “I’ll be with you all day. You’ll be okay. I promise.”
I wished my friend’s promise was enough to make me truly feel okay. At the same time, I believed what he was saying. Once I stepped onto the Monster of the Seas or whatever the ship was called, I’d start to get over the crippling memories.
I might not ever pull that “king of the world” bullshit like Jack in Titanic, but I’d done enough research over the past month to know that cruising was nothing like sailing a forty-two-foot yacht. For instance, the risk factor was greatly lessened. In fact, cruising was one of the safest forms of recreation and travel. With the odds of dying being roughly one in 6.25 million, cruising seemed safer than crossing a busy street.
Stats wouldn’t be enough to cure me, but they definitely calmed me some. So I took a deep breath, repeated words of affirmation to myself, and let Wayne guide me up the short ramp that reached the first deck of the Royal Athena.
A security guard stood at the open doorway between the ramp and the wide-open door of the ship. I handed him my staff cruise card, which he inserted into a tall rectangular machine, and once it gave him the green light, he handed it back with a smile.
“Welcome aboard, Miss Ashley.”
“Thank you.”
He gestured for me to step inside while he took Wayne’s guest card. Then he went through the same procedure before handing the card back and nodding. “Welcome aboard, sir.”
A medical room was straight ahead, a doorway closed off by black plastic curtain strips to our right, where staff were coming in and out with wheel carts, and a set of elevators right in front of us.
As soon as we got to the elevators, a red-haired woman in uniform greeted us with a giant smile. “Kai Ashley?”
I nodded to confirm. “That’s me.”
“I’m Sophie, and I’ll be your personal guide today.” She reached out a hand to shake mine.
Something told me to brace myself for an energetic handshake, and I was glad I was mentally prepared. The woman was one big ball of energy who had the power to snap my arm in half if she wanted.
I tugged my hand away with a laugh. “Careful. I’m going to need these to dance.”
Sophie laughed as if I’d just told a hilarious joke. “Oh, my apologies. I was recently promoted to cruise director from cruise staff, and I am a bundle of nerves, if you can believe it.”
“Oh, I believe it,” Wayne said from beside me.
She smiled at him. “And you are…?” She let the question linger, waiting for Wayne to fill in the blank.
“I’m Wayne, the gay best friend. Also a dancer, but not for the cruise line. I’m tagging along for the day.”
She squealed and clapped her hands. “It’s like that show. Will and Grace. I thought I caught some of that going on.” She placed her hands on her hips and twisted them with pride shining from her eyes. “Well, follow me. There’s a lot to see and learn.”
As Sophie led us into the elevators, Wayne squeezed my hand then leaned over to my ear. “We’ll forgive her for typecasting us since she’s a Brit. But watch out for this one.”
I giggled silently and shook my head before taking another breath. Being on board a ship again, while moving or not, would just take some getting used to, but I felt ready.
Once we reached the second floor, Sophie practically bounced down a long narrow hallway until we finally reached the very end of the row of rooms. She turned to room 3656 and gestured for me to use my key. I held it to the door until the light turned green and the lock clicked, then she pushed it open, allowing us to walk past her while she remained in the hall.
“This will be your room for the duration of your contract. Treat it like your apartment. You’re expected to clean and care for it just as you would at home. And, lucky you.” She pointed behind us toward an exit door. “You have quick access to the back staircase, which is blocked off from guests. It gives you direct access to the crew’s pool deck and private balcony and access all the way up to the employee entrance to the guest buffet areas. You can also get straight into your backstage area on deck seven. Most of the cast will use the staircase around showtimes to avoid guest traffic. It can get pretty congested at certain peak hours. The last thing you’d want is to get caught up with a fan before or after a show. Trust me.”
I laughed at her insinuation that anyone would care about me performing in a musical. “I doubt anyone will care if they see me walking through the halls.”
Sophie’s eyes went wide. “Oh, you’re in for a culture shock, dear. I take it you’ve never been on a cruise?”
I shook my head.
She leaned forward. “You are a celebrity onboard. Not only that, but I hear that you’re performing with Sebastian Chase.” She squealed a little. “Since the announcement was made, our entire cruise season sold out in just a few days.” She winked. “You’ll want to use those stairs. Trust me.”
Her warning hit me hard. I hadn’t thought about the fact that Sebastian was more than a Broadway superstar.
He was a Grammy Award–winning talent who the ladies went crazy over. But to sell out an entire cruise season? Damn.
Wayne nudged me forward, and I realized Sophie was waiting for me to enter my cabin. I walked by her, taking in an eyeful of the tiny room. It was just big enough to fit a single bed, a desk, and a vanity mirror. I turned to find a television mounted to the wall and a small bathroom, along with a mini fridge.
“All principal cast members have their own rooms, so you have your privacy.”
“Look,” Wayne said with another nudge, “an inside cabin.”
At first, I didn’t understand until I scanned the room again and noticed the walls had no windows at all.
“Oh yes,” Sophie said. “Inside cabins are the best. With no light coming in, you’ll sleep like a baby at any time of day. While we wait for your bags to arrive, would you like me to show you where the crew mess and community areas are?”
Wayne stepped forward first, tugging me behind him. “Lead the way.”
Sophie showed us the cafeteria; the crew mess, which looked more like a nightclub than just a room to decompress; and the internet café, where we could purchase WiFi. But when she started to push her way out onto the private pool deck, I stopped in my tracks.
“Um, Sophie,” I said with a nervous laugh. “I won’t be spending much time out there. Can we check out the theater instead?”
Clearly, she was a pro, for her confusion was barely noticeable. Her smile widened as she waved a hand as she headed toward the elevator. “Next stop, Regency Theater.”
There were two sets of main theater doors, each one situated on either side of the ship. Inside them, flights of stairs led up to the balcony level and down to the orchestra level. Wayne and I stopped in the doorway to take in the stunning view. The large space was pure elegance, with its handcrafted decor and brass-wrapped balcony ledges. The mahogany wood of the stage front looked to have been waxed one hundred times over. And the stage, with its red velvet curtain and its shiny black stage floor, was clearly brand new and ready to be scuffed.
I couldn’t wait to be standing there with the audience at my feet.
“Wow, this theater is incredible.” I spun in a circle as I took it in from all angles. When I stopped, I caught eyes with Wayne, who was grinning at me. I laughed in response. “What?”
He shrugged. “Just proud of you. That’s all. I have a strange feeling you’re going to feel right at home here.”
I wasn’t sure if he was right, but I couldn’t ignore the spark of hope that lit in my heart.
“So what do you think?”
Wayne and I were sitting at the bar in the crew mess a few hours later, sharing a drink, when he asked the question.
I sipped my wine and shrugged. “Verdict’s still out.”
“You think you’ll be okay tonight? I could stay if they’ll let me.”
I smiled. “That’s a sweet offer, but I’ll be okay. It’s not like the ship is going anywhere.”
His eyes crinkled at the corners as he squealed. “Aww. My baby Zelda is growing up.”
I smacked him playfully on the arm. “Oh, shut it. It’s too bad you didn’t audition. Seems like you would have fit right in.”
He made a disagreeable face and shook his head. “Now that Shane finally came around. No thanks, girl. Love ya, but you’re going to do just fine with this on your own.”
I laughed. “Thanks a lot.”
We finished our drinks, and I walked Wayne to the elevators, where we hugged goodbye. I was looking forward to checking out my new bed and my windowless bedroom. After all the excitement of boarding, I had a feeling I would pass right out.
When I got to the room, I found my suitcases stacked by my door. One by one, I dragged them inside. I was reaching for my last bag when I caught sight of a figure crossing my periphery and entering the room across the hall from me. I looked up, ready to greet whoever was there, and our eyes crashed together. My heart thudded in my chest.
A deep chuckle filled the entire space around us. “Hi there, love.”
Of course. Sebastian and I hadn’t spoken in weeks, but I should have known the universe would put him smack dab across the hall from me.
Chapter 14
Sebastian
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gotten so much pleasure from getting underneath anyone’s skin the way I did with Kai. My silent treatment over the past two weeks was driving her crazy. I could see it in her subtle glances every time I crossed her path. But she was too stubborn to apologize for crossing the line when I took her to lunch.
I wasn’t waiting around for an apology, anyway. I’d gotten what I needed from her. She was officially under contract, which meant Claudette had no chance in hell of stepping aboard this ship. And she was officially on the ship, which meant the private agreement we’d made no longer applied.
What I didn’t expect was how quickly Kai would take to the stage. She was made for it. And by the look in her eyes as she glided across the floor each day of rehearsal, she knew it too. If she carried that confidence with her onto the ship, then every woe I’d had leading up to this final run of Angst and Grace would fade, and it would be smooth sailing from there.
The morning after the cast’s embarkation, I dragged myself out of bed without looking at the time. I was a creature of habit—early mornings, late nights, with creativity fueling everything between. But before I could even think about my creativity, I needed to feel the blood pumping through my veins, to feel my lungs on the verge of bursting from my chest, and to feel sweat dripping from my body like I’d just walked through a torrential downpour.
I started with a light jog around the perimeter of the ship. Each lap was a little under a half a mile, and I always picked up the pace at the start of mile two.
At the end of mile five, I chugged a half gallon of water and pushed my way through the doors of the gym. Cast members were given free use of facilities and amenities, and I planned to take complete advantage of those privileges.
Familiar laughter floated from one of the weight benches near the mirror, and my eyes snapped toward it. Kai was like a fucking magnet, and looking away was impossible, especially when she was bent over with one knee placed on the bench and Jake standing directly behind her, guiding her in single-arm rows.
Anger flared in my chest as his hand found her tiny waist and rested there as he edged close enough to insert his cock if it wasn’t peanut sized.
“Gettin’ a little handsy there, mate?”
By the snap of Jake’s head and Kai’s eyes, it was clear my approach was an unwelcome surprise.
“You know what they say,” Jake said, winking at Kai. “Dancers who train together stay together.”
“Bullshit.”
Jake narrowed his eyes at me. “What are you doing in here so early, Bash? Shouldn’t you be sleeping off last night’s hangover?”
“Right, then,” I said with a forced smile to accompany the pep in my tone. “Piss off, yeah?”
Jake chuckled behind me, and I could only imagine all the things he was telling Kai behind my back. That I liked to drink was no secret, but this rumor about me being a drunk who hid away in his room at night was something Dirk had surely started.
Fuck ’em all. That was just one more lie added to the ever-growing pile Dirk was instigating, like he hadn’t hurt me enough. Everything that man did was driven by money—money he thought he could compound if I was out of his hair. To him, I was replaceable, no matter the ticket sales that stated otherwise.
But I didn’t want to think about Dirk. I didn’t want to think about Kai and Jake. Today was ‘arm day’ in the gym, and that was exactly what I would focus on.
I spent the next hour pushing my muscles to their limits, ending in a series of stretches. When I was done, I had just enough time to shower, dress, and get to the theater for a private go at the piano while the rest of the crew would be in another cruise ship training session that day. Thank God I’d taken care of that the day
before. While everyone else was learning about muster drills, the proper way to greet a customer and answer a mile-long list of questions, I was stealing private time in the theater, letting my fingers fly across the keys without apology.
Our first stage rehearsal came later that evening, and it was a complete shit show at first as the crew walked through the entire production, trying to learn their places while the stagehands learned their cues as well.
By the time we actually ran the first number with complete dance steps, my eyes were glued to Kai. She executed the piece flawlessly, which shouldn’t have surprised me. She seemed to have done a complete one-eighty from the woman I’d splashed on that curb.
“Hey, Bash,” called Gem, one of the guys in my orchestra. He played the trumpet and was brilliant at it.
“Hey. What’s up?” I was gathering sheet music at my piano when he approached.
“You coming to the cast welcome party tonight on lido?”
I cringed a little at the thought of hanging out and making small talk with everyone in the room. I didn’t make it a habit to hang out with the band, let alone the entire cast. Then my gaze drifted to Pink Tights, who was laughing and smiling with Jake, and I shrugged. “I’ll try to make it.”
“See you there, man.” Gem held out a fist for me to tap with mine, then he jogged off to join the crowd forming at the end of the stage. He said something to them, and a few curious eyes darted over to me, the elusive antisocial asshole pianist. But I only cared about one set of eyes, the ones currently avoiding me like the plague.
If anything, I should have been avoiding her. And I’d done a damn good job of it up until the day before, when I spotted her walking into the cabin across from me. I’d still been fuming over our last encounter, but the sight of her relieved me some. Or rather, I relieved myself at the sight of her. No matter. She still had no business hanging out with Jake, and I was certain that was exactly who she would be with at that party if she dared to step foot on the lido deck.
