by K. K. Allen
Why did I care so much about what she thought? About who in the cast she wanted to spend time with? Or about how she’d been getting on since boarding the ship?
Maybe the reason was her aversion to me, but she filled my mind at the most inappropriate times. Like now, as I was leaving the theater and heading toward my room, she happened to be descending the stairs right in front of me. When we approached our rooms, I casually mumbled to her over my shoulder as I unlocked my door.
“You going to the party tonight?”
She paused for a second. “I don’t know. The lido deck is the pool deck, right?” She let out a breathy laugh with a nervous undertone. “Are you going?”
“I don’t know. Maybe we should both blow the party and find something less—”
“Less public? Less airy?” she answered for me, then she smiled. “No thanks. If those are my only two options, I think I’ll be safer on lido tonight.”
Another burst of heat roared in my chest, and I pushed open my door. Safe. That word again. She was saying it playfully, but it still rubbed me the wrong way. “Suit yourself.”
I was letting the door close behind me just as I heard, “Hey, Bash.”
I caught the door in my hand and pushed it open just enough to lock eyes with her. Something tingled at the sound of her saying my nickname. It wasn’t that annoying itch I usually got when Dirk said it. This feeling was different. I might have actually liked it coming from her. “Yeah?”
“Thank you for encouraging me to join the cast. I think this might actually be good for me.”
A moment of silence passed while I tried to drum up an appropriate response, but I was still feeling the sting of her rejection. “Yeah, well, we haven’t left the dock yet.”
“I know, but baby steps are better than none at all, right?”
I nodded, suppressing all the things that compiled in my chest, like the fact that I thought she was brave as hell for facing her past the way she was.
“And I’m sorry for prying that day,” she rushed on. “I wasn’t trying to be rude, but I should have thought about what I was asking you. Your past is none of my business.”
My eyes darted between hers as I debated whether or not to accept her apology. But while I wholeheartedly believed her, accepting her apology meant I couldn’t stay pissed at her, and that would be dangerous. I needed to hate her, to loathe her, to feel like she could never understand me. Because if I started to let down my guard, I’d only want to fuck the apology out of her.
“Yeah, right, well, at least now you know to mind your goddamn business.”
Then I pushed the rest of the way through my door and let it shut behind me.
Baby steps.
Chapter 15
Kai
Every time I thought I was making progress with Sebastian, he tugged the life raft from me, letting me drift out to sea a few miles. The feelings swirling inside me while I thought about our last exchange were intense, rabid, raw. My insides heated, and I wanted nothing more than to shove open his door and rip him a new one.
I was the one who always jumped to his defense first when Jake or any of the crew members had something shitty to say about him. Earlier today at the gym, after Jake and Sebastian’s cock fight, I let Jake have it afterward. Just because Sebastian was always an impossible ass didn’t mean Jake had to stoop to his level.
Lucky for me, Sebastian made it easy to avoid him at the deck party. He seemed to be making his rounds and playing nice, but everyone knew he wasn’t one to form genuine friendships. As far as I could tell, Sebastian didn’t have a single friend.
Jake, on the other hand… Jake was simpler. He liked me, which would have been great if I didn’t believe his attraction was only surface level. We’d yet to truly form a connection outside the studio, but I imagined that was what he was trying to do at the party as he stuck like glue by my side.
I couldn’t complain too much. He was friendly, funny, and cute. With his dark-green eyes, wavy blond hair, and his obvious interest in me, he was just the diversion I needed to keep my mind off Sebastian.
“Hawaiian girl, huh?” Jake’s grin broadened. “I thought I noticed some island-girl features. Natural tan, light brown eyes, dark-brown hair.” He squinted almost seductively as his gaze locked on mine. “But those lips. Has anyone ever told you that you have fantastic lips?”
I laughed to shake free of the discomfort crawling through my insides. Something told me if Sebastian were to have asked those same questions, I wouldn’t be drumming up an excuse to leave the party early.
“That’s right,” I answered. “Born and raised in Oahu until I escaped for college.”
Jake scrunched his face in amusement. “Escaped? I don’t think I would ever leave my roots if they came from Hawaii.”
“You’d be surprised at the number of my peers who dreamed of getting off the rock. There’s just something about knowing there’s all this world around you. I craved adventure, you know? And as much as I love my homeland, I felt limited, with everything I wanted to do.”
“Like dance.” He grinned.
“Yes, like dance. I would have never had the same opportunities in Hawaii.”
A Beyonce song started playing over the speakers, and Jake tugged me to the dance floor. Before that moment, I’d managed to keep my nerves at bay by sticking close to the wall where the exit door was. Surprisingly, the moment Jake pulled me to him, elation shot through my chest.
Not because of him, but because I’d actually done it—I was on the main top deck of the ship, with the ocean just a glance away. As long as we stayed near the center of the ship, I would be okay.
Jake spun me and pulled me back to him with a grin. “So, rumor is you said no to the part. If that’s true, I’m glad you decided to take it in the end.”
I searched his eyes, wondering how much I could tell him without causing the gossip mill to go wild. That was another thing I’d heard about ship life: news spread like wildfire among the two thousand crew members. And I believed it. With such close quarters and nowhere else to go, personalities were sure to butt heads and cause friction. That was only natural. I just hoped I never found myself on the wrong side of the conversation.
“I’m glad I said yes too. I never thought I’d find myself living on a cruise ship.”
Jake grinned. “It’s the coolest. This will be my third cruise season, and to be honest, I’m not sure where to go when I’m done. I’m so used to the ship life, the travel, the culture, the crew. Then again, I’ve never been great at staying still.”
I tilted my head and peered up at him curiously. “Really? But you loved New York, right? That’s where I’d like to go eventually.”
“You’ve been bitten by the theater bug, eh?”
I laughed. “I guess so. Hopefully, this opportunity gives me a nudge in the right direction.”
“It will. Being a dancer, you’re no stranger to the long hours and athleticism it takes to keep any job. Living on a cruise ship will almost make you feel like you’re working twenty-four seven. The discipline we have is totally overlooked. But from what I can see, you have what it takes.” He winked then twirled me again, causing me to laugh.
As much as I was enjoying my time with him, I couldn’t stop looking at the man chatting it up with Sophie at the bar. They both wore smiles on their faces and flirtation in their body language. Jealousy reared its ugly head inside me, heating my chest and prickling my skin.
Sebastian looked just like he had the day we met, his leather jacket strapped to his shoulders, dark jeans wrapped tightly around muscular legs, and blue eyes so piercing I could have sworn they were trying to stab me from across the deck… because at some point, his gaze slipped from Sophie’s to mine.
I gasped and turned my attention back on Jake. “I could use a drink,” I told him over the music.
He nodded, tugged me to him, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders before leading me to the bar. I was grateful he pulled me to the opposite end f
rom where Sebastian and Sophie were sitting. The last thing anyone needed was another ridiculous word-jousting match.
“Two greyhounds,” Jake ordered. He already knew my favorite drink.
“Hey, guys.” Meagan waved us over to where she was sitting with a group of dancers.
When we squeezed in, I happily let her slide between me and Jake. I wouldn’t even hate it if something happened between the two of them. As great as he was, a relationship was the last thing on my mind.
“Oh.” Liz, one of the other principal dancers, jumped up and pointed toward the top deck. “I think the fireworks show is about to start. Let’s go.”
The entire group got up from their seats and started making their way to the upper balcony, but I hung back.
“You coming, Kai?” Jake asked over his shoulder.
I smiled and shook my head, waving him on. “I’ll catch up in a bit.”
Lie. No way would I be going anywhere near that balcony.
So they walked off, and I worked my way back to the emptying bar, where I could finally breathe and sip my drink slowly.
My thoughts were heavy as I let my worries consume me. I was still technically in LA—though on the San Pedro end of it—still moored in the harbor, and Gravity was only a little over an hour away. But I felt like I was a world away from my friends.
Then again, the dance life was known for its bouts of loneliness, with traveling to a new town, getting to know a new dance crew, and learning how to fit in yet again. While that was fun and I was doing what I loved, it was mentally draining at the same time.
I was scrolling through my phone when a message from Sebastian popped up. I sighed and opened it, my heart suddenly beating fast.
Sebastian: Sorry, I’m a dick.
Kai: You are who you are. No apologies needed.
Sebastian: Does that mean you’ll have a drink with me?
I looked up to where he was sitting earlier, and damn it, he was still there. I frowned as I looked back down at my phone and typed.
Kai: No.
I tried to ignore the tiny flutters in my chest as I caught his smile from the other end of the bar.
Sebastian: Fair enough. We can talk like this.
Kai: I didn’t think you liked to talk.
Sebastian: Sure I do. How do you like the ship so far?
I started to look over at him but forced my head to remain down. After inhaling and releasing a deep breath, I gave up my resistance and typed back.
Kai: I like it better than I thought I would. Though… I haven’t seen much of it.
The tour Sophie took Wayne and me on the other day had consisted mainly of the crew areas.
Sebastian: You need a tour then.
Kai: Let me guess. You want to be my tour guide?
A light chuckle drifted from the other end of the bar.
Sebastian: I appreciate the confidence, but I am clueless. Maybe we should explore together.
My hands froze on my phone as I tried to come up with some sort of clever rejection. But instead…
Kai: Now?
I looked up to see him grin.
Sebastian: No better time.
Chapter 16
Sebastian
I had no idea where I was taking Kai when we slipped into the nearest elevator and pushed a random button on the panel, but I loved that she went along with me, wearing a smile.
The door dinged on the seventh deck, and we just starting walking. We passed the open atrium, the casino, a sitting area, and a bar. I pointed at a glassed-in room with a revolving door at its entrance, and she nodded. She went first, pushing into the room, and I followed, meeting her on the inside with a grin.
The room was dark since it wasn’t in use, but it looked like an ideal place to go for a good time. Purple leather couches were situated around the room. The floor was made of clear plastic squares with giant light bulbs beneath them, and a dance floor took up most of the room. A long bar ran along the back of the room, the wall lined with every drink imaginable. And a DJ booth was set on top of a stage.
I took Kai’s hand and pulled her toward the booth, slipped inside, and pushed the only button that looked like it could power things on.
Bingo.
As the lights on the machine blinked to life, Kai gasped beside me. “What are you doing?” she squealed.
I chuckled. “Just testing out the dance floor.” I looked at her panicked expression, loving it far more than I should. “What? We’re not doing anything wrong. We have run of the ship.”
Her eyes grew wide, and she smacked me lightly with the back of her hand. “That doesn’t mean we can fiddle with the ship’s AV equipment,” she admonished. “Don’t you need a license to run this stuff?” Her eyes were wide, scanning all the buttons on the table in front of us.
Her curiosity only egged me on. I pushed another button and watched as a strobe light appeared from the ceiling. “Too right.”
Kai laughed. I didn’t care that she was laughing at me, probably for my Aussie-speak. “Too right” was just my way of agreeing with heaps of excitement. But I liked that it put a smile on her face.
“Want to know a secret?” I gave her a sideways grin.
“Depends,” she said with a glare. “What will it cost me?”
“Free of charge.” Then I winked. “When I was in high school, not only was I impressing all the ladies by tickling the ivories, but I was DJing on the side for extra cash.” I gestured to the equipment in front of me. “I was just fucking with you earlier. I could work this equipment in my sleep.
The next button I triggered started up some old Motown hit that had Kai squealing, and whatever tension she’d carried moments before at trespassing was fading away with each passing beat.
For a second, I just watched her face light up at the familiar tune, basking in her presence like she was the sun beaming down through a parting cloud. Maybe I’d needed Kai on the ship for more reasons than I’d been willing to admit. Her existence had the uncanny ability to make me feel a little more whole each time I was with her.
“I love this song,” she said as her shoulders moved to the beat.
“Likewise.” I continued watching her as her eyes closed and her movements became bigger, like she couldn’t help the way her body reacted to every beat. “Dance for me.”
My request was met with laughter filled with surprise as her movements paused.
“Excuse me?”
I bit my bottom lip, suddenly eager to take whatever I could get from Kai in this time alone. “I’ve only ever seen you dance to my songs. Show me something else.”
The surprise in her expression seemed to be morphing into something else. Intrigue. Acceptance. Then she stood and walked out to the dance floor. “Play ‘Dirty Diana.’ We learned this one in class last month.”
I thumbed through the song booklet and found the number then cued up the song. “Got it,” I said before hopping to my feet.
“Where are you going?” she asked with curious eyes as I crossed her path.
I took a seat at a booth at the end of the dance floor. “I want a front-row view for this.”
She probably would have met my comment with a sassy one of her own if the music didn’t start up just then. Her eyes met mine, and I swear I saw a flicker of nerves in them. Is she nervous because of the steps? Or because I’m watching her? I hoped it was the latter.
But in the next second, every ounce of nervousness I’d detected vanished as she pulled apart her leopard print wrap skirt and tossed it at me. I caught it with wide eyes and my heart in my throat. She didn’t just…
I looked down at the fabric, then looked back up at her. She was laughing, clearly humored by my reaction. It wasn’t like she’d stripped down bare. She had on sheer black leggings with black knickers beneath them. She was wearing more clothes than some of the outfits I’d seen her rehearse in, yet I felt like I was getting a peep show from the captain of the cheerleading team.
Kai did a slow and sexy walk to
ward me before extending her leg on a quick guitar beat. The way her leg extended, her body flexing as her upper half curled down to reach her toes, was erotic as fuck. And she’d only just started.
With each phrase, she delivered something different, something equally stimulating to my dick, which was fighting against my zipper. Her head would snap to the side, bringing her long hair with it. Her hips would roll, sending my focus straight to every dip and curve of her body. She’d pop her chest out just enough to give me a view of her cleavage.
Damn, Kai could move, but asking her to move for me had been a mistake. Now, all I could think about was her spread out above me, knees pushed into the cushion on either side, dancing on my cock as I pushed so deep inside her she’d combust.
* * *
WATCH: Dirty Diana
* * *
The moment the music began to transition into a Sam Smith song, I leapt to my feet and met her in the middle of the dance floor. I wrapped her skirt around her and snapped it back together, and then I swallowed her small hand with mine. I didn’t know what to expect, but she didn’t pull away. “Dance with me.”
She tilted her head with her eyes slit and a smile playing on her face. “Are you asking or telling?”
I quirked a brow at her challenge. “Definitely asking.”
She rolled her eyes and stepped toward me, closing the gap. “Like you would take no for an answer.”
Chuckling, I led her to the dance floor and pulled her to me with a smile that felt softer than I’d anticipated. “You already know me so well.”
It wasn’t just Kai who surprised me. I surprised myself when I was around her.
I spun her before bringing her back into my arms, feeling a twinge of envy at knowing another man got to dance with her like this on a daily basis—namely, Jake Locklear.
