by K. K. Allen
“You know, Kai.” I knew I should tread carefully, but when did I ever heed warnings? I lived off complete honesty. “Jake isn’t someone you should be hanging around with.”
Her eyes shone as they looked back up at mine. “And what about you? Should I really be hanging around the Bad Boy of Broadway?”
I shrugged. “Well, yeah.” My lip tugged up at the corner. “At least you know what you’re dealing with.”
She narrowed her eyes, but the playful look about her remained. “I’ll make up my own mind who I hang out with. And right now, I’m here.”
Something about the way her eyes lingered on mine caught me in the chest. I pulled her in a little more. “Guess I’ll just have to keep a close eye on you, then.”
She chuckled against my chest. “Careful there, Bash.” Her warning was soft, causing my chest to buzz with affection. “You wouldn’t want to start crossing any lines.”
I glared at the wall over her head, hating the reminder of the lengths I’d gone to in my desperation to get her to sign on. But nothing was going the way I’d hoped or planned. My heart and mind were clearly not communicating well.
“I won’t be the one to cross any lines, Kai. Not first, anyway. A promise is a promise.”
She looked up just as the final note in the song rang out. The challenge in her eyes said it all. She didn’t believe me, and she was daring me to try. But I wouldn’t. Despite the insane need to be around her all the time, I knew I couldn’t. I’d made a promise to her that I would stay away, but the promise I’d made to myself was the one I would never stray from.
A banging sound and a muddled “Hey” sounded from the hall. We looked up to see a security guard peering through the glass with a frown on his face.
“You can’t be in here!” he shouted.
“Right,” I said, pulling away from Kai and tugging her toward the second entrance. “Looks like our time is up.”
She laughed as she ran behind me through the exit, down the hall, toward the staircase, and then down two floors until we reached the fifth deck.
I pulled her down the hall toward a smaller theater used for movie showings. Someone must have been testing a reel in the booth above because the lights were out and a film was playing.
As the door shut quietly behind us, I raised a finger to my mouth and pulled her toward the back row of the theater, where the chance of anyone finding us in the shadows was slim.
Some rom-com was playing, with Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson, and Kai’s eyes fixated on the screen. A laugh came a second later, a real, deep one, where the corners of her eyes crinkled and her chest heaved a little. Her bronze skin was still glowing from our short jaunt from the disco. And her hair, though still loosely curled, was tangled around her head.
I’d never felt so enamored by someone’s presence or so relaxed just from watching someone laugh. But everything about Kai, though hard and full of sass on the exterior, was soft and vulnerable on the inside. She let out another laugh then turned, catching me in a stare. That was the moment I realized I hadn’t taken my eyes off her since we sat down.
Shit.
I turned, shifting in my seat as I placed a foot on the back of the chair in front of me. She laughed again at something on screen, but while I was staring at the same picture she was, I was focused on everything about the woman beside me: the way her soft arm accidentally brushed mine on occasion; the way her bubblegum scent wafted in the air after she’d so much as move her head; the way I felt comforted just by her nearness.
She was all-consuming, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d ever let anyone get close to me like that, in a way that took hold of my senses and refused to let them go, and I wasn’t sure how to react. So I did nothing.
We finished the rest of the movie, credits included, before I dared another glance her way.
She looked positively radiant, like I’d given her just what she needed at just the right time. And something about that thought lit a spark in me I didn’t want to ever lose.
“Dare I ask what you think of this boat now?” I teased her with the word though I made sure my tone was delicate. I couldn’t imagine losing my parents at just eight years old, when she was left alone in this big ugly world.
“It’s…” Her eyes fell as she struggled to find the words. “Not as bad as I thought?” When her eyes found mine again, she smiled in a way that warmed my chest. Then she shrugged and played with the fabric of her long leopard-print skirt. “I’m glad I’m here.”
She looked up, trapping my gaze in hers. My hand took on a life of its own as it moved to cover hers then squeezed. “Me too.”
Chapter 17
Kai
We ended our little adventure well past midnight before heading back to our cabins, completely exhausted. The elevator door opened to someone already using it. When we stepped inside, we weren’t alone. A crew member I didn’t recognize was already there.
Who would have thought I could have more fun with Sebastian Chase than with my dance crew during a pool party? Definitely not me, but I couldn’t seem to keep a smile off my face. I bit my lip and tapped through my messages until I found Sebastian’s name.
Kai: You shouldn’t follow me.
Sebastian quirked an eye at me and smirked before looking back down at his phone.
Sebastian: I’m going to my room. Maybe it’s you who’s following me.
He reached around me to push the button for our floor. He didn’t even turn to look at me, but when we stopped at another floor to pick up another crew member, Sebastian pulled me toward the back of the lift until I was flush against his chest.
I didn’t bother turning around to tell him the elevator had plenty of room. I was too busy familiarizing myself with the heat of his body, the light touch of his clothing rubbing against mine, and the aching need I suddenly felt for him to touch me.
My phone buzzed in my hand, causing my heart to jolt.
Sebastian: You smell good. Like bubblegum.
My face heated, and I swear my hand shook as I reread his message, then my eyes darted to him to catch his mouth twitching like he wanted to smile.
Kai: You’re flirting.
Sebastian: I’m complimenting you. I also really like bubblegum.
Kai: Compliment me all you want. I’m still not going to make out with you.
He chuckled lightly behind me, and he was so close that I could feel every movement that came with it.
Sebastian: They all say that before they take their clothes off and straddle me.
A tingling feeling pulsed in my lower belly as a mental picture made its way through my mind.
Kai: There will be no straddling.
Sebastian: But you will take your clothes off?
I bit back a laugh.
Kai: Yup, but not for you.
The elevator opened on our floor, and we stepped past the crew, who were heading down one more floor. He let me walk in front of him, but I could practically feel him on my heels all the way to our rooms.
We didn’t say a word at first as we unlocked our doors and turned back to face each other as our doors shut slowly.
“Night, Sebastian.”
“Sleep well, Kai.”
I locked the door safely behind me and leaned against it as my phone pinged again. I looked down to find Sebastian’s name lighting up my screen.
Sebastian: Just promise me you won’t take your clothes off for Jake.
I chuckled and flung my phone onto my bed.
My shower might have taken longer than I’d initially intended, but the heat from his earlier words wouldn’t escape my face. I yanked on my shorts and cotton tank, blow-dried my hair, and slipped under the covers. I’d just flipped off the light when my phone buzzed beside me.
Sebastian: Come running with me tomorrow.
My chest heated as I groaned.
Kai: That’s a hard no.
Besides the fact that any time with Sebastian was tiptoeing the line we’d so carefully
drawn, I didn’t even want to think about where the jogging trail might be on the ship. Too close to the water was my guess. The safest thing for me to do was reject his offer.
Sebastian: You are infuriating.
Kai: Thanks. I’ll take that as a compliment.
Sebastian: Didn’t you have fun tonight?
I bit my lip and closed my eyes as a wave of flutters swarmed my chest. Damn him.
Kai: I did. But I don’t think running the perimeter of the ship is a great idea. I had plans to work out with Jake.
Sebastian: You can cancel those.
I cringed, wanting more than anything to do just that.
Kai: I can’t.
Sebastian: Then run with me before your workout. Eventually, you’re going to have to face the water. Wouldn’t you rather do that with me?
I had thought about testing my anxiety a little bit, but I hadn’t expected to do it so soon. Then again, we were still docked. We weren’t in the middle of the ocean yet. Maybe this was a better time than any to push myself.
Kai: Fine. I’ll meet you.
Sebastian: Be ready by 7.
My heart beat fast at the realization that he’d somehow weaseled his way into my morning workout.
I bit the inside of my lip before starting a response then deleting it completely. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know if anything I said would do anything positive for whatever was happening between Sebastian and me. So I silenced my phone, plugged it into the charger, and turned it facedown.
I would get some sleep. That was what I would do. And I’d deal with the repercussions of my response in the morning.
Chapter 18
Sebastian
A good fifteen minutes passed before Kai finally opened the door after her muffled shout that she would be out soon. I’d half expected her to bail on me completely. Maybe the alcohol had made her a little flirty the night before. Maybe she didn’t remember any of it.
I’d already decided I would take every opportunity to continue where we’d ended things the previous night. After a month of silence between us, I wasn’t going to sit back and watch her get comfortable with another man while I knew I should be the one helping her cope with being back out on the water. Maybe I would even prove that I wasn’t just an asshole without a cause. Sure, I had a chip on my shoulder, but my reasons were good.
The cruise-ship run of Angst and Grace was a means to an end. I just had to make sure it did, in fact, end.
I was leaning against my door when hers finally started to open, and I decided fifteen minutes was hardly an issue when she walked out looking like that. She wore black spandex shorts that hit just above the thighs and a black sleeveless crop top that looked like she’d taken scissors to the sleeves and the chest. A bright-pink sports bra peeked out from all exposed holes and sides.
Her hair was pulled up into some kind of knotted mess that pulled my gaze to her oval face. She was all eyes and lips on skin that reminded me of a golden sunrise. She was timeless in that classical-actress sort of way.
“Ready?” I asked.
“Yup.” She stuck her keycard inside her sports bra before smiling. “Lead the way.”
I forced my thoughts away from where her keycard was now hiding and opened the door leading to the aft stairwell. We walked up to deck five, where the two-story fitness center started.
“I could use a good stretch first.” She pointed toward the empty mirrored studio on the next floor up.
“Okay, I’ll follow you.”
Bad idea. Her ass was right there, giving me a perfect view as she moved up the stairs. Top to bottom, the woman was intoxicating. And while I was nothing like the drunk the cast rumored me to be, I knew I’d have no problem drinking her in, to the very last drop.
We sat in front of the mirror on a set of mats, and again, I followed her lead. She knew exactly what she was doing as she stretched out her long limbs, and I tried to do the same. But while I was more in shape than the average musician, I could only reach so far without bending my knees, unlike Kai, who had her legs split apart almost perpendicular to her waist, with her chest to the floor, head down, and breathing deeply.
“Holy shit. You’re limber.”
She slowly crawled forward, sat up straight, and laughed. “It’s relaxing when you learn how to breathe into it.”
“You’re a natural.”
She shrugged. “I’m a dancer. I’m sure it’s the same for you and music.”
“It’s more than just music to me. It’s the only way I’ve ever known how to express myself—to tell a story.”
“Well, you tell them beautifully.” Her eyes darted to mine. “Is it okay if I asked what inspired Angst and Grace?”
I swallowed, wondering just how honest I wanted to be with her. Really, I had no reason to lie, but the truth made me feel incredibly exposed.
“I started writing the songs for Angst & Grace when I was eighteen, so I can’t say much of it was based off real life. It was all more of a dream, really?”
“And who are you in this dream? The bad boy or the hero?”
“That’s for me to know and for you to interpret—like any good art piece. I leave my music up to your imagination.”
She chuckled. “You want to know what I think?”
I nodded though I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to know. “Sure.” I placed my palms on the floor behind me and leaned into them.
“I think you’re both—the bad boy, the good guy. And there’s no telling what we’re going to get from one day to the next. But what about the women? Were they part of that dream too? Or was she a reality?”
My lips curled at the sides. “She was a dream who I thought I’d found once, but I was wrong.”
Kai scanned my expression with curiosity. I was telling her too much.
“How so?” She pulled her legs together, knees still locked, and rolled her upper body forward until her fingers were touching her toes.
I watched her face dip between her knees as her long arms stretched in front of her. “Grace represents any man’s ideal woman. She also represents a time in a man’s life when he thinks he knows what he wants, versus knowing what’s truly good for him. In Angst & Grace, there is no perfect character. It’s all just a dream world.”
Her mouth fell open. “Is that written into any of the songs? The fact that it’s all just a dream?”
I grinned and shook my head, then I winked. “It’s our secret now.”
She fell back, clutching her heart. “Oh, I wish I hadn’t asked.” Then she picked herself back up again and slapped me on the arm. “You’re an imposter in the world of romance. And now I have to carry around your secret like an accomplice.”
I chuckled. “Don’t feel too bad, love. Aren’t all the great love stories fiction, anyway?”
She scoffed. “Now you sound like a cynic. And no, not all love stories are fiction.”
“Can you prove me wrong?”
She straightened and nodded emphatically. “Yes. Have you ever seen The Vow? Or The Theory of Everything or A Beautiful Mind? All great love stories. All real. Or… based on true events.”
I ignored the obvious retort and played along. “But is love the general conflict in those stories? Could you truly call those romance movies?”
Her jaw dropped. “I-I don’t know, but that’s not the point. True love exists in books and movies and in real life. Why do you think people read romance, anyway? We read romance because we believe in a love we all deserve to have. A love that endures life’s greatest tests. A love that spans centuries and galaxies and ripples in time.”
She was going on and on, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t know, Kai. I’m still not convinced.”
She huffed, and I bent my knees to plant my feet and stand. “All right, enough of the diversion tactics. Let’s run.”
She scrambled to her feet to join me. “Actually, I was thinking we could lift a little first. What do you want to do? Arms, legs, back…?”
“Wait a sec—”
“I’m not ready yet,” she cut in, her eyes finding mine in a desperate panic. “Just work out with me, okay?”
“What about Jake?”
She looked away. “I already canceled on him last night.” She lifted her shoulders and slapped her hands against her sides. “I’m all yours, but I’m not going out there. Not yet.”
There she went again, twisting that stick in my chest and lighting another damn fire. Instead of arguing with her again, I said, “Legs.” I pointed at the angled-leg-press machine outside the studio. “How much can you lift?”
She made a face. “I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I used any weight machines. Lately, it’s been Pilates and free weights.”
I nodded. “Let’s start with one fifty and see how you do.”
After getting her seat adjusted and letting her sample her weight, we decided to add on another hundred pounds, which was still comfortable, and she started to press. After two sets, I adjusted the weights, and we switched spots. This time, she was the one watching me, her curious eyes running the length of me as I braced for the strength I’d need. Maxing out my weight when she was standing over me probably hadn’t been a smart idea. She was a distraction in every sense of the word.
“Since you brought up Angst and Grace, I was curious,” she started with a tentative smile. “How did you and Dirk come to partner?”
I adjusted my eyes away and stared at the wall straight ahead. “It’s a long, boring story.”
“We have time,” she said, stepping forward with a smile I could see in my periphery. “I promise I won’t be bored.”
I shook my head. “Not happening.” My reaction was an instant attempt to block the pending conversation. “If you can’t tell, I don’t like talking about the guy.” We didn’t need to go back there. Going back there only opened up the possibility of me telling her what had really happened between my Claudette and Dirk and me, and part of me would rather she believe the lie. It would be easier if she thought she should hate me.
