The Trouble With Gravity

by K. K. Allen

  Madeline gasped. “Scary.”

  Incredibly in tune with all the backstage gossip, Jake nodded, emphatically, playing into the drama like he always did. “It is. But the guy gets away with murder.”

  “He was probably still drunk this morning,” Andrew tossed in. “You should have seen him at the bar last night. He came here straight after rehearsal and started slamming them back. Then he reached over the bar, grabbed a bottle of liquor, and took off.”

  “Like I said.” Jake rolled his eyes. “Murder.”

  My chest was so tight that I wasn’t even sure I could breathe. I dropped my fork with a clang and stood. Everyone’s concerned eyes shot to me, and I managed a pinched smile. “I just realized I forgot something in my room. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

  I felt like everyone was against Sebastian, but I’d always figured that was just because he was misunderstood and they hadn’t taken the time to get to know him. After the conversation I’d just left, I wasn’t sure what to believe.

  I headed back to my room but didn’t stop there. Instead, I turned to Sebastian’s door and knocked. Then knocked again. And again… until I finally started hearing movement.

  When the door finally opened, Sebastian was standing there, fully clothed that time, and with his brows pulled together in the middle. “Back for seconds?” He gestured for me to enter.

  I glared and balled my hands into fists. “No. I’m not staying either. I just have something to say to you.”

  He cocked a brow, folded his arms across his chest, and leaned against the doorframe. “I can’t wait to hear it.”

  “Ugh. You are not helping your case right now.”

  “My case?” The amused tilt of his lip made me all kinds of ragey.

  “The cast members talk. I told you that before. And right now, they aren’t saying very nice things.”

  He lolled his head back and let it bang the door. When his eyes met mine again, he sighed. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  “You don’t care?”

  He shrugged.

  “Well, you should.”

  “Why’s that, love? Everyone should be thanking me for getting them out of work today.”

  “Which brings me to the point of this visit. You may not need that rehearsal, but others do. Like me. If you don’t want to be here so badly, then what’s the problem with letting someone stand in for you?” I couldn’t believe I was shaking, but trying to get through to Sebastian Chase was the most infuriating thing I’d ever tried to do. “Your blowups have repercussions,” I continued. “You’d know that if you weren’t so damn selfish.”

  Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “I’d hardly call protecting my career and reputation selfish. Some of us do what we need to do, Kai. We don’t cower under a little bit of fear. We stand up and face our fears every goddamn day.”

  Heat prickled behind my eyelids, and my chest felt heavy. The fact that he’d just used my father’s tragedy as a way to make himself feel better was too much. Why had I thought I could reason with the asshole? He was a mess, and he would only take me down with him.

  When my first tear fell, I swiped it away just as quickly as I could and took one step away from his door. “Do what you need to do, Sebastian. Just don’t think for a second that I’ll let you stand in my way.”

  I walked away from his room, in no mood to go to my own, and took the stairs two at a time until I reached the fourth deck. I’d heard about the private pool area for crew members only, but I’d never dared to explore it. It didn’t have much, not even a view of the water, which relieved me, just a row of dark-blue chaise lounges and a large plasma TV on the wall.

  A minute later, I was about to sit on one of the chairs when the door burst open behind me. “Wait, Kai. Shit. I’m sorry.”

  Oh my God. He did not just follow me. I wanted to scream the words and shove him right back through the same door he’d just come in. Instead, I let out a frustrated growl and took the next set of stairs up one more deck. I walked through the mazelike entrance, praying he wouldn’t follow me again. I needed to be away from him. To think. Because whatever had or hadn’t happened last night was stirring up feelings inside me I had no business feeling.

  As soon as I cleared the entrance, I was hit by the sight of sparkling blue water reaching as far as the eye could see. Panic immediately kicked in. My heart beat faster as my pulse rocketed through my veins and my breathing went shallow. Shit.

  I turned away, facing the blue privacy glass that sectioned off the deck like a small observation area. In my haste to get away, I clearly hadn’t thought my destination through. If I wasn’t so freaked out, I might have actually laughed at the irony. The entire reason I wanted to get away from Sebastian was because of what he’d said about my fear. Yet there I was, a mere twenty feet from facing it. If I could only turn around.

  Footsteps closed in from behind me until I felt strong arms wrapping around my body.

  “Damn, I would have pissed you off a lot sooner if I knew you’d end up here.”

  My whole body was shaking despite the strength of his hold. “It was an accident.”

  He didn’t respond right away, but when he did, I almost didn’t recognize his voice. “Do you really believe that?” The question was a heavy one, but he’d delivered it with a gentleness that warmed me.

  I shook my head. I sensed something fateful about the timing of it all, which I couldn’t ignore no matter how furious I was with Sebastian.

  “Then turn around, Kai.”

  I swallowed and took a breath before swiveling slowly to face him, my eyes instantly finding his. “Your eyes are the exact color of the ocean. Bright blue with swirls of green. And they shimmer when you laugh.”

  “They shimmer?” He narrowed his eyes without stopping the smile playing on his lips.

  A heavier sigh rushed through me as I nodded. Strange, how peaceful I could feel in the arms of a man who challenged me constantly.

  “Yeah? Well, it’s funny you say that, because your eyes kind of remind me of the Earth—light brown, almost reddish if you catch them in the right light. But they’re steady, nonetheless, with the kind of confidence that drives me wild.”

  I let out a laugh. “Confidence? You can say that with a straight face while I’m trembling in your arms?”

  He lifted his brows. “I’m just happy you’re not staring back at me like you want to kill me anymore.”

  “I’m sure the desire will return shortly. Just keep standing there.”

  “Actually,” he said with a stifled laugh. “You might have done yourself a disservice. You’re kind of hot when you get all worked up. I like it.”

  “Stop it.”

  He chuckled again. “No, seriously. You’re like a blazing fire when you’re angry.”

  “And you’re like a block of ice.”

  He narrowed his eyes, his cheeks high from his infectious smile, then he leaned in, brushing my nose with his. “Wanna warm me up?”

  “Sebastian,” I said with a half sigh, half laugh, but my heart was flip-flopping like crazy in my chest. This time, it had nothing to do with the open sea at his back. This time, it was all him.

  One of his arms was still wrapped around my waist while the other slid up to cup my cheek. His gaze darted from my eyes to my lips. “If I kiss you, that wouldn’t be crossing the line, would it? Because I really want to kiss you right now.”

  “For someone who calls himself the Bad Boy of Broadway, you sure ask for permission a lot.”

  His lips teased mine as he smiled. “Are you giving me permission to stop asking for permission?”

  “No. I kind of like it.”

  “Well, then can I? Kiss you?”

  “Yes, but let me do something first.”

  Chapter 28

  Sebastian

  Kai’s white knuckles gripped the balcony rail while her entire body shook. I had to resist the urge to swoop in and comfort her. This was something she wanted to do on her own, and she should. />
  Her elbows were locked, keeping her body an arm’s length away from whatever scared her the most. I knew she was afraid to face the memories of her father, but the determination in her features told me she was ready to try.

  As she eventually unlocked her arms and brought herself closer to the rail, I felt a sense of pride at how much she’d overcome since that first night I’d learned about what had happened to her father. I knew upon our first meeting that Kai was as feisty as they came, but I hadn’t truly recognized her strength before.

  That got me thinking about my own fears, if I could call them that. Most others would refer to my possessive issues with Angst and Grace as narcissism or jealousy, but they had no idea. How could they when no one knew the whole truth? No one knew it was my fiancée and my fucking co-producer that stabbed me in the back first. All I cared about was getting back the rights to my show so that I could bury it quietly and move on with my existence.

  On second thought, maybe I had something—or someone—to care about now. I looked up just in time to watch Kai lean into the railing. Wind tossed her hair around her face as seagulls squawked overhead. Her shoulders visibly relaxed.

  When she threw me a half smile over her shoulder, I took it as an invitation and didn’t waste a second. I stood behind her, placing my hands on the balcony to the outside of hers and leaned down, pressing my lips to her neck. “How does it feel?”

  I felt her sigh like a heavy load had been lifted from her heart. “It’s like I can feel him out here.” I glanced up to see her watery eyes locked on the horizon. “Like he’s still sailing the Pacific.”

  I kissed her sunlit shoulder while removing a hand from the rail and wrapping it around her middle. “Maybe he’s been here the whole time. You said he considered it home.”

  She nodded with a wistful smile. “It was his universe. He had this whole philosophy about sailing, saying that humans spend so much time fighting against the very nature of things that we lose sight of them altogether. Sailing was his way to stay close to what truly mattered. He didn’t believe in the value of expensive homes or cars or jewelry. Those were all things that any human could survive without, while true value could be found in the elements: earth, air, fire, water.”

  “What about you? Do you believe that too?”

  She shrugged. “I believe in simplicity, for sure. But I’ve been away from the water for so long, I’d kind of lost sight of why he loved it out here so much.”

  I swallowed. I couldn’t believe how my heart was batting away at my insides. Suddenly, I was hyper aware of Kai’s presence. The way her dress picked up wind at the bottom. The way her hair scented the air in a way that had me craving watermelon. The way her grip on the rail hadn’t loosened at all, yet with each passing second, she leaned into me more and more.

  She continued to stare out at the ocean as she told me about her home life on the water. About the harbor in Hawaii that she and her father would spend their nights at while she was in school. About how, in the summer, they’d take off for a different adventure, their last one being to Los Angeles to stay for a week while her father picked up some parts for the boat. Then finally about the rocky night at sea that resulted in her father going above deck to check on things.

  “And he just disappeared?”

  She nodded while wiping a tear from her eye. “Vanished. Well, until his body was found two weeks later.” She wiped another tear and took a shaky breath. “But I already knew he was gone. I could feel it, you know?” She shook her head. “I don’t know if I can explain it—there was just this hollowness that formed inside me when I realized he was gone. I still feel it.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said because I really had no other words.

  I hated her story as much as I admired her for it. I’d known since the day I met her that she was a force. But to know her story was to truly understand where she’d come from. I would have loved to meet eight-year-old Kai, the girl brave enough to put in a distress call while she anchored a boat alone.

  “Remember when we were at the Shakespeare Bridge and you asked me if I believed in the supernatural?”

  I nodded, remembering more about that night than I wanted to admit. The fact that she called me when she’d gotten locked out of her apartment. The way she didn’t resist when I stopped at the bridge. Her fearlessness as she swung her legs over the ledge. And the flirtation she’d returned so effortlessly. She was meant for the role of Grace, but beyond that, she was meant to be on this ship with me.

  “I guess I always wanted to believe. With each year that goes by, I can’t help but feel like he’s slipping away from me, you know? There are only so many pictures of him, and I was so young… My memories seem so fragile.” She looked up, her eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears. “Anyway,” she said, her shoulders sagging. “I thought… I thought if I believed, that maybe my dad would appear somehow.”

  I swallowed, aching for Kai’s loss. “That’s why you visit the bridge.”

  She shrugged. “It’s silly. I know.”

  “It’s not.” I leaned in, brushing my lips against her cheek.

  When her eyes locked on me again, she smiled. “You’re starting to lose your grip on that persona you’ve got going for you. You wouldn’t want word to get out that the Bad Boy of Broadway has gone soft.”

  I cocked an eyebrow and shook my head. “Maybe on the inside, but you can keep a secret, can’t you?”

  She shrugged. “Depends.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “On?”

  She turned around and slid her palms up my chest. “I think you were about to kiss me.”

  Chapter 29

  Kai

  His head moved in slowly, taking his time to reach me while his eyes steadied on my mouth. My heart leapt into my throat, as though I was about to experience his kiss for the first time. And then his pillowy lips met mine in a firm and all-consuming handshake. He kissed me like he was a gambler unafraid to go all in, moving slowly at first, as if not wanting to give away his confidence before blinding me with it.

  Unlike the first time, I wasn’t paralyzed with fear. In fact, I was hyper aware of the way his lips felt against mine—soft, firm, growing in demand and need. I was aware of the way they tasted—warm, wet, with a hint of cucumber like he’d just guzzled the ship’s filtered water. I was aware of his crisp alpine and leather scent, which wrapped me up and held me closer although getting any closer physically was impossible.

  I moved my hands from my grip on his jacket and slid them under the material, only one thin piece of fabric away from his skin. He had a solid body, a lean frame, but what I loved most was how responsive he was to every movement I made.

  He bent into me, his palm sliding lower until he stopped himself right above the curve of my ass. He groaned like the willpower was killing him, and I felt the sound reverberate in my chest.

  “Damn,” he whispered against my lips. “You might just be my type after all.”

  I chuckled and turned back around. I felt a rush of adrenaline instead of fear as I looked back at the horizon. We must have been talking and kissing for hours, for the sun was already starting to set, and the boats were returning to the dock.

  He locked his arm around me and leaned in so his cheek was pressed to mine. “I’m glad you’re not mad at me anymore.”

  I pinched my smile so it wouldn’t explode on my face. “I’m still kind of mad at you. You still got rehearsals canceled today, and we only have two weeks left.”

  He sighed and pressed his lips to my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I promise it won’t happen again.”

  I glared at him over my shoulder, but I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. “An apology and a promise?”

  “I know. Miracles do exist, I guess.”

  I chuckled just as he pressed his mouth to mine again. I grazed his lips with my next whisper. “Yeah, I guess they do.”

  He grinned before turning his gaze back to the water and lifting his head in a nod. “Wow, check that out.�
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  My heart was already beating fast from our kiss, but when I looked back out at the water, I gasped.

  The sun was resting on the horizon, its yellow-orange ball flaming out in the ocean’s reflection. Then I saw it. My throat tightened as I watched a small white sailboat move across the calm water, creeping toward the sun. I held my breath as its full silhouette appeared at the crossing of the sun and the horizon.

  A tear spilled from my eye as I swallowed the emotion building in my throat.

  I felt my father in that moment. His presence filled the surrounding space as I marveled at the setting sun while the sailboat darkened with the night.

  It hit me then, that maybe all this time I’d been looking for my father in all the wrong places. Maybe he was here, right where he knew he belonged.

  “Where are you taking me?” I giggled as Sebastian pulled me up the next two flights of stairs.

  He pushed through the backstage door and put a finger to his lips, then he walked around the dark space for a minute before flipping a switch that lit up the stage. He returned with a grin. “Coast is clear.”

  “Well, yeah,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “Because you pissed Jimmy off. Rehearsals are canceled, remember?”

  “C’mon, smart-arse.” He glared and tugged me forward again until we reached the center of the stage. “I’m giving you back your rehearsal time.” He backed away from me while spreading his arms to gesture to the theater. “It’s all yours. You dance. I’ll play.”

  He jogged to the side of the stage and took the spiral staircase to the band’s platform. When he started to play, I walked to the edge of the stage and peered up at him over the ledge. “Wait. I want to hear one of your new songs.”