Playing Cupid

by SC Alban

  “But Laird became a little too full of himself. He only had one name left on his list, and it was only mid-year. So one night, he strolled into a pub to celebrate early. Sure enough, one drink led to two, two led to three, and before Laird knew it, he was drunk. Human alcohol has a surprisingly strong effect on us Emotion Realm beings. Anyway, apparently some thieves who’d eyed him earlier in the evening coerced him to go outside where they proceeded to rob him of all his belongings, including his bow and arrows, and the book.” He paused.

  “What happened?”

  “Well, Laird eventually tracked down the thieves, but it was too late. They’d already read the book and figured out what he really was. They were preparing to use the arrows for their own purposes. Fortunately, the elders caught wind of the whole mishap and intervened. They sent the Amor Deleo to interrupt the thieves’ plan, wipe their memories, and retrieve Laird, bringing him back to the realm.”

  “What’s the Amor Deleo?”

  “Oh, they’re what you might call our muscle. When things go horribly wrong, which they sometimes do, the Amor Deleo take care of it. They have special powers, but no one—at least no one I know—can tell you exactly what they are. Honestly, we really don’t know much about them other than they take care of business when things go down. Kind of like the equivalent of your CIA. But I’m getting off-track.”

  I internally rolled my eyes. Most of what he said was off-track.

  “Anyway, Laird was brought back to the realm. His license was revoked, and he was given a position in the…get this…the Greeting Card Inspiration Service Department.” His eyes bulged. “Can you imagine? From top cupid to greeting card lackey”—he snapped his fingers—“just like that.” He shook his head. “Tragic.”

  He shuddered at this last statement as if Laird’s new career was a fate worse than death. I really didn’t understand what the big problem was, but I wasn’t about to argue with a cupid. Especially not one that seemed to have a degree in theatrics.

  “Wow, that all sounds…terrible?” I offered. “I mean, I guess I understand why the book has to be kept away from my human eyes now, but you still haven’t answered my question. How am I going to help? I still don’t even know who the mark is,” I said in a neutral tone, trying to appear as casual as possible.

  “Yes, yes, the mark. I’ll get to that. First, I want to let you know how being a cupid works.”

  I threw my head back and sighed. “I thought Laird was the first thing you needed to tell me.”

  “My Goddess, Megan, how do you even get through your day? You have the attention span of a gnat.”

  “Amadeo…” I warned.

  He held up his hands in surrender. “Fine, fine. My apologies. Not a gnat. A squirrel?”

  I shot him a heated glance.

  “Okay, okay. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, moving on to my career. Shortly after I was assigned to the Rookie Division, I knew if there was any chance for me to make an impression and move up the ranks, I’d have to develop a more efficient system, something that would set me apart. I mean, basically, how you’re taught at the academy is—”

  “Wait,” I interrupted. “There’s a Cupid Academy?”

  He gave me a snarky look.

  “Uh, yeah,” he replied. “How else would you earn enough credits to apply for your licensure? Let alone pass the H.R.T. Exam. Haven’t you been listening at all? Did you not just hear how Laird lost his license?”

  “Yeah, I did.” I defended myself quickly. “It’s just that, I guess I didn’t realize the… schooling it required. All this is so surreal. I mean, the H.R.T. exam? What’s that?” I cocked my head. My nose crinkled as I tried to imagine Amadeo sitting in a desk just as I had when I took my PSATs last year.

  “The Human Romance Theory Exam,” he replied as if it were common knowledge. “Every cupid needs to pass it with at least four out of six hearts in order to apply for the next level of training.”

  “Of course.”

  He pursed his lips and ignored my sarcasm.

  “Anyway, back to my story. I understood early on if I wanted to make it to Division One, I was going to have to think outside the heart. You see, every cupid, from the beginning of time, has always begun on the first page of the book and has, one by one, gone through it sequentially. Like I said, it’s how we were taught at the academy. And it worked, but I knew there must be a more efficient way—a way to maximize a cupid’s time spent on Earth, making the greatest number of matches with the least amount of effort.”

  “Oh, I get it, the whole ‘hire a lazy person to do a difficult job’ thing.”

  “Excuse me?” His face was turning a bright shade of scarlet. He leaned forward on his bucket and stared at me. “Are you actually suggesting I’m…lazy?”

  I shifted on the stool uncomfortably.

  “No, no,” I said quickly. “You know, the quote…because lazy people will find a way to make it easy…so they don’t have to work…It’s famous….” My voice trailed under his death stare. “Bill Gates?” More silence.

  He looked appalled. “What is wrong with you? Do I look like a half-eaten box of chocolates?”

  “Um…no?” I shook my head. What? “I’m sorry? Never mind. Go ahead.”

  Amadeo cleared his throat. “As I was saying, at the beginning of the next year when I was given my book, I didn’t start with the first name on the first page and move from there. Instead, I took a few weeks to make connections between the marks. What I noticed was that the names in my book were clustered in certain regions of the world. However, they were spread out through the pages, not next to each other.

  “And then it hit me. If I grouped people up by regions, I’d be able to make the most of my time here on Earth. It also assisted me in accuracy of shots since I was less fatigued from traveling all over the world.”

  “And your system worked?”

  “Worked? Hell, it revolutionized the whole industry!” He brushed his knuckles across his shoulder. What an ego. “Never before had a cupid thought to change the system. Of course, other cupids began following my lead, and their productivity increased as well. It’s made me somewhat of a celebrity in the realm, if I do say so myself.” His voice lowered and his eyes narrowed. “And Eros’s nemesis.”

  His face grew serious, and the slight glow that emanated from his skin seemed to dull.

  “What is it?”

  “It’s just now this has happened”—he gestured toward me— “and I’m not sure how to proceed. I don’t even know if the elders know about it yet. And when they find out, I’m not sure how long they’ll allow me to continue. And I was so close to the top….”

  Silence filled the barn before he snapped back.

  “We have to play it by ear, here. This wouldn’t be the first time a cupid has gone rogue—”

  “Wait, rogue? Are you some kind of criminal now? A wanted cupid?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. But let’s face it, now that I’ve revealed myself to a human; this is all quite unorthodox. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened in our history, but this is the first time a human has been enlisted to help. I’m hoping my record will give me some leeway with the elders,” he explained. “Especially since the reason I had to reveal myself to you was because of our little incident—”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying don’t blow this, okay? No pressure, but the future of cupid-human relationships could very well rest on our ability to get this done.”

  My jaw hit the barn floor. “No pressure, though.” Was he serious?

  He shook his finger at me. “I’m serious, Megan. And it would be best if you took this seriously, too. Your little joyride out there has the potential to ruin my reputation.”

  I raised my hands in surrender. “Okay, I get it. You don’t have to bring it up again,” I interjected, knowing full-well he was about to start laying the guilt on thick.

  He lowered his finger. “Anyway,” he added, “despite the resistance to love
that’s been plaguing humans the past few decades, and our current little predicament, I still intend to make my quota. And I have my system to thank.”

  “Okay, but this is important because...”

  Amadeo rolled his eyes.

  “Because the last three marks are in this town. You won’t have to travel, and if I’m correct in my assumption, Mountain Valley isn’t exactly a sprawling metropolis, so you probably know who they are.”

  I blinked in surprise. It’d never occurred to me I might know who the marks were. I guess I had imagined falling in love, true love, fell into the category of fairy tales and folklore... just like cupids. That it was something so rare, it wasn’t even worth the effort trying to attain it in a small, out in the middle of nowhere town like Mountain Valley. I furrowed my brow. When had I become so jaded?

  When the cancer took Mom.

  Amadeo sat on the overturned bucket, eyeing me carefully.

  “You okay there? You’re not changing your mind, are you?”

  “No, I’m fine,” I answered quickly, pushing the voice away. “I’m just surprised. I hadn’t considered I might know any of the people on your list. It’s…unsettling.”

  “Well, you might not, but I’m hoping you do. I mean, how many people could really live in a tiny blip of land like this? The end of the year is getting closer, and there isn’t much time left.”

  “You’d better start explaining then. After we find the mark, what do we do?”

  He seemed eager to share, a huge smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

  “Oh, this is my favorite part. Even more so than the happily ever after.” His voice rose in excitement. “There are three components you must always remember. The mark, the mate, and the match. Now the mark is the person on this list.” He waved the book in the air. “The mate is the potential person for them. And the match? Well, that’s what happens between them. You know, the magic. You with me?”

  I nodded as I frantically tried to file all this information away.

  “Great. Now first, the potential mate for the mark is identified. But their match is still a mystery—”

  “You mean that little book of yours doesn’t tell you?”

  He huffed. “Cupiditry is not only a science, it’s an art. On top of loads of technical information, in order to be successful, one also needs to understand the nuances of love.” He lifted his eyebrows and waited before continuing. When I pressed my lips together, showing him I wouldn’t be interrupting any further, he continued. “As I was saying, it’s a cupid’s duty to find the strongest match. This is the most fun because you really dive into a mark’s head, find out what makes them tick. You might have some ideas already, or you may spend an afternoon or two observing them from afar. Humans, despite how I feel about your shortcomings, are quite fascinating creatures. There’s a lot to learn about someone when they believe no one is watching.”

  Yep. I didn’t have to be a cupid to know that was true. As the high school’s resident outsider, I knew more about my classmates just by observing them. My mind wandered to Jay. How many times had I noticed something about him when he didn’t know I was watching? Still, something didn’t quite add up with Amadeo’s explanation.

  “Wait, how do you know the mate is ready for love? Wouldn’t their name be in your book? Couldn’t you just match up the names in the book?”

  “Not necessarily. Just because a name is listed, it doesn’t mean their true love match is. The names on our lists are there because they need the most help. They’re the ones who are in danger of missing opportunities when they arise naturally in life. This doesn’t always apply to their mate.”

  “So, your list is like the last stop before Heartbreak Hotel,” I said, chuckling to myself.

  Amadeo squinted at me. “I don’t get it. Is that a joke?”

  “Oh, uh, it’s an old Elvis song my moth—you know what? Forget it. Please continue.”

  Amadeo shrugged. “Okay then. So how it typically goes is when a mate is ultimately found, I lure the two together, if they’re not within the same area already. Then, when they are within striking distance of each other, I sprinkle the love dust over the mark and, at precisely the right moment when love is at its highest potential, I shoot the mark’s mate with the arrow. The arrow will draw the mark to the mate, and the mate will initially be attracted to the fresh sprinkle of dust, but as soon as their eyes find each other, it’s love time. A perfect match.”

  My tongue became dry, my throat scratchy like the Sahara Desert. Holy heck. I thought this was a no pressure gig?

  “Oh, and then the magic happens. Their eyes meet, or maybe their hands graze as they grab for the same shopping cart at the grocery store, or maybe, just maybe, if the magic hits close enough to the heart center, and the match is truly perfect and they are truly ready to give in to love, the world stops and, for an instant, they are the only two people alive…Ahh, it’s like a living, breathing heart-eyed emoji.” He sighed. “And like the most important defining moment of their lives.”

  My face must have turned as white as a sheet as the blood drained from it as I listened, because he waved his hand in the air casually.

  “But again, no pressure,” he added quickly.

  “I don’t know if I can do this,” I said, feeling faint, my head thick and fuzzy. “I mean, what if I miss the target; or worse, what if I shoot the wrong person and the mark misses their chance at love?”

  My breathing turned shallow as panic crept in.

  “Here, use this.”

  He handed me a salmon-colored paper bag. What in the—? My head spun and I took it gratefully, putting it over my mouth and nose.

  “Just breathe,” he said calmly. “Big, deep breaths. Good girl. Look, Megan, I understand you’re nervous. I mean, I’ve never felt it before, but I’ve heard all about it. Let me assure you everything will be okay. I’ll be right there with you. Trust me. Besides, a hit is a hit. I never said it had to be a true match; I just need my quota.”

  “What?” I muffled the question through the paper bag, its rosy hue resembling a lung.

  “I’m just messing with you. It absolutely has to be the right match. But don’t worry about it. Everything will be fine.”

  Again, that mischievous grin lit up Amadeo’s eyes, and I wasn’t quite sure if I should put so much trust in a cupid. Especially this one.

  When my breathing regained an even pace and I no longer felt as if I would faint, I stood and looked up at the ceiling, my hands on my hips, and took a deep breath. My phone vibrated. I stuffed the pink bag in my coat pocket with one hand as I slipped my phone out of my pants pocket with the other. Super. A text from Dad.

  “Shoot,” I mumbled.

  “What is it?”

  “My dad just texted me, asking me what’s taking so long. He wants me inside,” I said as I texted back that I’d be in the house in five.

  “Look,” I said, sliding the phone back into my pocket. “I don’t really know what cupids typically do for accommodations, but you’re welcome to stay here. I know it’s not the most comfortable place to hang out, but it’s all I’ve got to offer.”

  “Don’t worry about me, Megan. This place will work out fine. It’s not exactly what a cupid of my stature is used to, but it’ll do.”

  He took off his coat and threw it over an old wheelbarrow propped up in one corner. He stood in the center of the space and rolled up his sleeves, turning in a circle and examining his new room.

  “Just a few things before you head out, though,” he said as I walked to the barn door.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “First, I plan on getting a head start tomorrow. So, it’s up bright and early—”

  “I can’t tomorrow,” I said. “I have school.”

  Amadeo gave me a stern look, his rosy lips pursed together, making a perfect bow shape.

  “The sooner we complete my mission, the sooner you’ll be rid of me and back to your normal life,” he reminded me.

&
nbsp; “Great point, but I can’t miss school. Finals are soon, and I need to pass.” I paused. “But as soon as the bell rings, I’ll speed home.”

  A strangled sound came from his throat and his face paled.

  “I mean, I’ll drive directly home at a reasonable speed limit.” I shot him a smile.

  Still white, he nodded as he ran his fingers through his messy curls.

  “Fine. And second,” he began in a more serious tone, “any knowledge about my kind and the book is highly sensitive information. It must never be repeated, and it must never be shared with anyone. Megan, I’m about to entrust you with secrets only immortals possess, so it is of the utmost importance you respect that confidentiality.

  “You know, now that I think about it, maybe you should sleep on it. Really take your time. Even though I desperately need your help and it’s because of you I’m now in this position and three people may never find love in their life, don’t feel obligated.” He took an embellished breath. “The fate of my entire life and hundreds of years of dedication to love are resting on your sole decision, but hey, I want you to be sure”—his lips twitched—“because once we begin this journey together, once I tell you the name of the first mark, you are bound to complete this mission no matter what. Do you understand?”

  The atmosphere in the barn was thick. Even Cosmo held his breath.

  “I understand,” I said. “Don’t worry, I’ll take it seriously. You have my word.”

  I opened the barn door and slipped outside into the cold night. The shock of the winter air hit me full in the face, and I wrapped my arms around my body. I looked up to the cloud covered sky.

  “Of all the people in all the world, why me?”

  Silence.

  My phone vibrated again. Great. Now Dad was even more ticked. I pulled my coat closed and jogged to the house. I had a lot to consider tonight, not that Amadeo had given me much choice. Man, cupids really knew how to lay it on thick. He was right, though. It was a great responsibility. Too much of one, if I was honest, and one I’d never asked for. Still, I’d given him my word, and I had to stick by it. I ran the last few feet to the porch steps. As broken as I was, I wouldn’t back down and knew in my heart, the decision was already made.