What the Heart Needs

by Kelli McCracken

  Delia diverted his attention as she pulled him back to the bar. “That’s what we’re trying to do.” Her eyes wavered between his a moment as she folded her hands over his, giving both a quick squeeze. “Tell me this. What do you feel like when you’re around Heaven?”

  “Beg your pardon?” He stole a glance at Dylan, noting the way his brows drew together. When his knuckles whitened from gripping the wall, Layne refocused on Delia.

  “When you see her, do you feel…drawn to her? Like you need to be near her.”

  “Everyone likes to be around Heaven. That’s not a secret. I’m no different. Doesn’t mean I want her. The kiss was a mistake.”

  “This isn’t about you kissing her. It’s about figuring out who you are. I’m trying to help you, but you have to be honest. And keep an open mind.”

  “You’re asking me to do the impossible.” His eyes went back to Dylan. The lump in his throat grew. He could never answer her question honestly. Not in front of him. Right now, he had half a chance of salvaging their friendship. Revealing his feelings about Heaven would ruin that.

  “Layne, answer me.” His fingers began to tingle when Delia squeezed harder, but he couldn’t form words. Couldn’t do anything but watch the pain storming across Dylan’s face. “Do you feel a pull toward Heaven?”

  He shook his head, still staring at his best friend.

  “Look at me.” She gripped his chin, forcing his eyes to meet hers. “Don’t worry about what he will think. He needs to hear this as much as I do. If you are what I think you are, he and Heaven will need you.”

  She needed to let this go. Did she want Dylan to kill him?

  “Layne—”

  “Yes! I feel a pull toward Heaven.” The weight of his words lingered in the air, making their way to each ear in the room. Hope’s head dropped into her hands. Scott scooted to the edge of the cushion, wrapping his arms around her. Anna nodded at Delia, who released her fingers from his hands.

  But Dylan’s face. The way his jaw dented when he gritted his teeth. How his lids snapped together, and his breath seeped from his mouth. The admission he’d just heard hit him hard. Like a punch in the gut.

  “Your feelings are normal, Layne. Don’t feel bad for admitting them.” Delia walked away from him, stepping closer to the archway where her son stood. “You could have told me you are head over heels for her and I’d understand. Once you know about who you are and what you mean to Heaven, the feelings you have will change.”

  If those words were true, life would be a lot easier. He didn’t want to care about Heaven the way he did. Didn’t want to lose his friendship with Dylan.

  “Who said I have feelings for Heaven? I just told you that the kiss was—”

  “It’s normal for Keepers to be close to their Seekers. It’s a platonic love. Just ask Anna. She and Nate were close at one time. Had he not given in to the darkness, things would be different.”

  Anna nodded, though her grimace spoke another story. One Layne would like to know more about. At another time.

  “We’ll give you a full history lesson. I promise. But for now, we have to focus on Heaven,” Delia pushed away from the corner of the wall, whispering something to Dylan before he walked away. She looked after him, pressing her lips tight before continuing, “If it will make you feel better, you can redeem yourself for the kiss. You need to speak with Heaven.”

  Out of all the people standing about the room, Anna’s face was the only one that didn’t reveal astonishment. Dylan’s showed more than that. The crease between his brows deepened. “You won’t let me in to see her but you will him?”

  “She will listen to him.” Dylan turned his back on his mother, clenching his fist as he reentered the hallway. “They have a bond, Dylan. Not like the one she shares with you. Theirs is friendship. Next to you, he will be her biggest confidante. The sooner he speaks with her, the sooner she’ll come to you.”

  “If anyone gets to see her, it should be Dylan.” Layne said, walking around the bar to search for the liquor. The tiny fridge contained several miniature bottles, including his favorite. Patron.

  The swoosh of a glass across the bar came to an abrupt stop as slender fingers curled around it. He met Anna’s weary gaze, wishing everyone would leave him alone.

  “Please, Layne.” Her voice reminded him of her daughter’s. Soft. Soothing. Caring. “Her father and I can’t get through to her. Neither can her sister or Delia. If you can get my little girl out of this catatonic state she’s in, I’m begging you to try.”

  He wanted to go to Heaven. That wasn’t the problem. But he couldn’t help her when all of this started because of him. Did they expect him to convince her to talk to Dylan? She could see through his bullshit. Most of the time. He wouldn’t be able to pull this off. Unless he really meant it.

  While most of him did, he couldn’t deny that part of him didn’t. The selfish part of him that wanted her to look at him the way she did Dylan. Wanted to hear her tell him three words that no woman ever had. To be the one he fell asleep next to each night. And woke up with each morning.

  But he’d never get any of those things. Because she’d didn’t love him. She loved Dylan. Would always love him. No one else could come close. Her happiness mattered more than his or Dylan’s. He’d spend the rest of his life making sure she got that happiness, no matter what it entailed.

  “Fine,” he finally whispered, clearing the grogginess in his throat. “I’ll go talk to her.”

  He moved for the hallway, hesitating at the entrance until Dylan brushed past him, mumbling, “This is bullshit.”

  Biting his jaw, Layne fought back the apology threatening to spill from his lips. It wouldn’t matter how many times he offered one. Until Dylan could forgive him, they were empty words, spoken from a liar’s lips.

  * * *

  The sweet, woodsy scent that once filled her presence gave way to one of brine and stale tears. Heaven didn’t look as bad as he’d expected. At least not from the back. Curled on her side, dark sweats covered her legs, revealing a pair of feet nestled inside socks. Her sweater hugged her torso, as did her arms.

  Void of movement, he questioned if she’d fallen asleep. But as he moved around the foot of the bed, he noticed her eyes fixed on the wall.

  Twenty seconds passed before she blinked. Another thirty before she did again.

  If Dylan could feel her emotions, no wonder he looked so ragged. She didn’t have the bags under her eyes that he did. Just darkness. But the same pain filled them. The same distant look. He couldn’t make this right when the thing preventing their happiness wouldn’t take words.

  At least not his.

  “Heaven…” He waited for a response. None came. Not even a glance in his direction. “Please don’t be angry with me for coming. Delia insisted I come talk to you.” Rounding the foot of the bed, he walked up to the side she faced. Still no eye contact from her, not that it surprised him. “Like I’d make a difference. I’m the reason you’re here. If I hadn’t kissed you, you and Dylan would be married.”

  The first reaction spread across her lips when they trembled. At least he knew he was getting through. But how long would she listen?

  “A lot of things happened in Aruba, Heaven. Things I’d like to forget happened. But I can’t. They say I’m…”

  Even repeating it seemed wrong. Like he could consider for a moment that he had some type of psychic ability. One that would keep her safe. All he could see is the damage he’d caused.

  Yet she still pulled at him, no matter how much he fought it.

  Pressing his back against the wall, he slid down until she couldn’t avoid his presence. Nor did she. Tear-filled eyes froze him in place. As did parted lips.

  “They say you’re my Keeper. Have they told you that?”

  Nodding once, he stretched his legs out, tucking them under the bed. “They told me the same. I don’t know what it means, but your mom and Delia make it sound like it’s life or death.”

  “Doe
s Dylan…” Her voice quavered as her eyes shot away. “Have you told him?”

  “He already knows. About that. And the pull I feel toward you.”

  Golden eyes stole his breath. They didn’t remain on him. Not once the tears spilled over. “He’s never going to get over this.”

  “You’re wrong.” He scooted closer to the bed, going up on his knees. Heaven didn’t move. Having her close made the words on his tongue even harder to release. “Delia explained that what we have is platonic. That it’s part of the bond we share. Dylan doesn’t care about any of it. Just you.”

  She pushed up in the bed, propping her heels on the comforter as she hugged herself. “Is this bond we have platonic? The night you kissed me, you said that you’d always—”

  “Jack Daniels spoke for me that night. I didn’t know what I was saying.” Keeping a straight face proved harder each second she peered at him. He didn’t realize he’d gripped the bed until his knuckles stiffened.

  “Your energy tells a different tale, Layne. Just like it did that night. Every part of you engulfed me.”

  “I had a lot of adrenaline rushing through me. If you can sense energy, that’s what you felt.” The scowl contorting her face said she wasn’t buying it. Convincing her would be every bit as hard as he thought. “We’re friends, Heaven. Next to Dylan, you’re my closest friend.”

  “It’s more than that. If you’re my Keeper—”

  “If something binds us beyond our friendship…” He leaned back against his heels, casting his eyes to the ground. “It doesn’t change what you have with Dylan. It just means that I’ll guard you with my life.” He’d succeeded at that already. Even ended a man’s life to save hers.

  He followed her gaze as it landed on the door. A sure sign she was giving his words some thought. Maybe Delia had been right to suggest he come here. Maybe he could right the wrongs he’d caused. “Talk to him, Heaven. Before you both lose it. I’m not watching over you if I have to do it outside a padded cell.”

  Humor was his best chance of making it out of there with his heart still in tact. His feet never hit the ground so quickly. Nor had he pushed his legs to move this swift. But he made it to the door, holding the ache in his heart at bay. If Heaven sensed it, everything he’d just said would be for nothing.

  Even if she did buy it, didn’t mean she wouldn’t figure out how he really felt. Someday.

  But he’d do his best to give her a chance at happiness. Would rather get his heart broken each day than to ever see her in this much pain again. Good thing God created him with a tough heart.

  A heart Heaven already claimed.

  CHAPTER 28

  Gripping the frame in his hand, Dylan pressed his back into the banister. He stared at a photo of him and Heaven under the willow tree. Neither had acknowledged the camera that day. Or Hope snapping pictures. But this had been their favorite out of all the ones she took.

  He hadn’t popped the question yet. Heaven’s left hand bore no engagement ring as it clutched his shoulder. But the love in her eyes proved the most powerful point in the picture.

  The spark in her eyes always set him on fire. But now that spark had vanished. Because of him. He wanted to return to this day. When their life together hadn’t become plagued by the craziness they’d been born into. When their only concern meant finding out more about their connection.

  In the end, they’d found out more than they wanted to know.

  Consumed by the insanity filling their lives, he hadn’t heard the door brush open. But the sound of a knob clicking shut had him turning.

  To call Layne an intruder wouldn’t be right. Even if it did justify Dylan’s need to condemn him. But he’d never banned his friend from the house. Doing it now would make Dylan petty. Especially after Layne sacrificed so much.

  After he’d killed a man. A life Dylan should have claimed. Would have claimed if he could actually protect Heaven.

  “Glad to see you still care about personal hygiene.” Layne grumbled in typical smartass fashion. His normal behavior for beginning awkward conversations. The ones they had after arguments.

  “I’m surprised to see you here. I figured you’d still be with Heaven.” Cursing himself for being blunt, he placed the photo back on the hallway table. He’d never get Heaven back if he couldn’t control his resentment.

  Besides, he didn’t want to be responsible for Layne losing his mind. The same way his father had. Not when Heaven needed protection. Yet many questions remained in his mind. Questions that Layne would answer today.

  “Heaven doesn’t need me.” Layne crossed his arms over his chest, leaning into the door. “She needs you. Quit being stubborn and go back to the hotel. You’re the one that belongs there.”

  He wanted to be there, too. Regretted the decision to leave after Layne went to talk to Heaven. Jealousy wouldn’t win her back. Only understanding. And compassion. Two things that seemed out of reach every time he stared at his friend.

  “I don’t know how to handle any of this. I want to hate you. For kissing her.” His head rested against a spindle as he released a sigh. “Now that I know what you are, hate brings no satisfaction. No matter how many times you screw up, I can’t stay mad at you. Why is that?”

  Layne pushed off the door, taking a few steps into the foyer. He rubbed his hands together, doing whatever he could to avoid meeting Dylan’s gaze. “I don’t have an answer. For any of this. All I know is that I don’t deserve your loyalty.”

  “This isn’t about me or you. It’s about her. I need help protecting her. You were created to do that. I need to know you can do it without…” Even forming the question in his mind placed a kink in Dylan’s heart. Layne could only give one of two responses. And of the two, one could change everything. Stepping away from the staircase, he took a deep breath, prepping himself for the outcome. Then he met his friend’s gaze. “Are you in love with her?”

  Layne’s jaw flinched when his eyes fell to the floor. “Faith’s lies sent me over the edge. Heaven tried bringing me back. No woman’s ever cared about me enough to help. I got caught up in her compassion.” He wavered between the door and the staircase, finally taking another step forward. “I’ve spent my life screwing different women because I couldn’t find what you found with her. I wanted to feel that. Just once.”

  “Then you are in love with her. If it meant that much to you—”

  “I could have kissed you that night and felt the same.”

  “Be serious!” Dylan’s shouts echoed through the house as he cut Layne off at the edge of the stairs. “My mother said you have a bond with her. You don’t share a bond with someone without experiencing deep emotions. If you’re in love with her and you stick around, you’ll resent us. I don’t want you to lose it like my dad did.”

  The wide-eyed stare Layne returned matched the tone of his voice. Confused. “What do you mean?”

  Dylan forced a lump down this throat. Guess his mother hadn’t told Layne everything yet. Had she told Nicholas and Anna that he knew the truth? If Layne was Heaven’s Keeper, he had a right to know what happened. Especially if he could…

  He had to tell him the truth.

  “Right after we arrived in Aruba, when I told you that my dad knew Heaven’s parents, I didn’t tell you that my dad went nuts because of what he felt for Anna.”

  Layne’s face contorted as the realization of Dylan’s words played out in his mind. He gripped the banister as the color drained from his face. “Your dad fell for his best friend’s girl.” His eyes trailed past Dylan’s shoulder, to the table where the photo sat. “You’re afraid history will repeat itself. All of you are. That’s why your mom and Anna have supported me through this.”

  “Yes. They didn’t want the same mistakes made. Dad lost it when Anna cut him out of her life. If Heaven and I turn our backs on you…I won’t be responsible for that. But I have to know. Are you in love with her?”

  “What I feel for her makes no difference because she’s in love with you
. I won’t lie. I care about her. Not the same way you do. I’m not in love with Heaven. She’s my friend.”

  Dylan wished he had Heaven’s ability. To read another person’s energy. The distant vibration of Layne’s emotions only hummed a song of remorse. While his instincts urged him to trust his friend’s words, he couldn’t help but wonder how much truth they contained.

  If he wanted to protect Heaven, he didn’t have a choice but to trust Layne. The pulse of Heaven’s soul said she did. He needed no other reason.

  “I have to trust that what you’re telling me is true. Heaven’s life is at risk. You’ve proven that you’ll do anything to protect her. All I ask is that you don’t break my trust again.”

  Layne opened his mouth, ready to respond but the knock on the door gained their attention.

  The moment Dylan’s eyes landed on the half opened door, that last shred of hope in his heart quaked. Especially when golden eyes consumed him.

  * * *

  Heaven’s feet refused to move the second Dylan discovered her standing in the doorway. Paranoia thickened her heart at the sight of him and Layne together. Had they been discussing her? The kiss? Aruba?

  The only sound she could hear was seconds ticking off the clock. And her own heartbeat. It grew louder with each throb. Did he still want her? The thump of his energy revealed many emotions, none of which eased her mind. Guilt. Frustration. Fear. Anger. All wrapped around her, twirling about her soul. She started to turn away until a twinge of hope fluttered her belly. Dylan’s hope. Buried underneath the negativity, it thrummed a soft, slow beat.

  Focusing on that emotion, she nudged at his soul, waiting for a response. Any response other than silence would do. And just as he parted his lips to speak, Delia swept past her, grumbling, “Layne, sweetheart, we need to talk about boundaries.”

  “He’s okay, Mom. We needed to talk.” The sound of his voice danced around her, soothing the angst deepening in her heart. Dark eyes burned into hers. Hadn’t stopped since the moment she arrived. Nor had the tug of his soul. And just as that small twinge of hope began to grow into possibility, his eyes filled with pain. “Did you come to get your stuff?”