by Eva Brandt
That situation had, ironically, not changed all that much, since once again, I had an unexpected problem to worry about.
Sighing, I looked up at the new arrival who’d intruded on my refuge. “I hope you know, Cain, that I’m not in the mood for your games.”
Cain let out a light laugh. “Of course you aren’t. You never have been. But you aren’t going to turn me away either. You and I are the same.”
I glowered at him, but didn’t deny it. He was right. As far as I could tell, he’d parted ways with his brother and Fara, which meant he was all out of allies. I wasn’t really sure what goals he had right now, but I assumed they still involved taking down The Infernal Realm.
Did he know about me being Satan? I had to find out, but I couldn’t exactly ask outright.
“What do you want?”
Cain sat down on the ground and leaned against the wall. For a few seconds, his lips twisted into a small grimace of pain. It vanished in an instant, and if I hadn’t been paying close attention to him, I wouldn’t have seen it at all.
“A future would be nice, but at this point, I know that’s never going to happen. What about you, Delilah St. John? Or should I say Satan?”
Well, that answered that.
I swallowed around the sudden knot in my throat. “I’m still Delilah, no matter who I was in the past. And I just want my family to be safe. After that… I don’t know. I haven’t decided.”
“Well, you probably should. You don’t have a lot of time at your disposal. And like you said, you’re still Delilah St. John. You made a contract with the Grim Reaper and Morrigan. That won’t just disappear because you want it to.”
“How do you even know that?” I hissed at him. “How did you know to find me here?”
“I didn’t. I just waited.” Cain sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “You have to understand, Delilah, that this whole thing… It’s very predictable. Once I found out who you were, the natural progression of events was easy to follow.
“The Watchers were never going to tell you about it. No one in The Celestial Realm wanted you to realize who you truly were. You’re dangerous and you needed to be controlled. But it was always going to end badly, because Lucifer and his consorts figured it out pretty quickly.
“This kind of information is a weapon in the hands of a demon. Of course they would reveal it at the worst possible moment, at which point you’d find a way to make your escape. And Demogorgon—being himself—would bring you here. Easy.”
When he put it that way, the whole thing sounded almost anticlimactic, like something unimpressive that had happened to another person. I hated him for making me feel that way.
“It’s not easy. Nothing about this is easy.”
I wanted to scream at him, to hurt him for daring to insult my feelings. But I doubted he could experience a single drop of empathy. And even if he could, did it really matter?
“No, I suppose it isn’t,” he answered. “My apologies. I misspoke.”
He looked back at me, his eyes in shadow. “Look, I’m not going to pretend I understand what you’re going through, since our experiences are much too different for that. But I’m not here for idle chatter either. I need your help and you need mine.”
“What could you possibly need my help for and why should I provide it?” I asked.
“It’s quite simple. Once Lucifer’s brat is found, this whole nightmare will be over and we’ll be able to return to normal. I can’t do it alone, but if you help me, I’ll give you a hand with your family.”
It was a good deal and a far better option that just sitting on my ass and waiting for an idea to come to me. Still, I was suspicious. “What’s the catch?”
“The catch is that you have to decide now. We don’t have a lot of time at our disposal.”
I bristled, not appreciating being forced into a choice. I’d had enough of that already, thank you very much. “And if I refuse? You’ll attack me?”
I sneered at him, showing him exactly what I thought about the likelihood of success he had under these circumstances. I’d beaten him with no issues when I’d been in my first year. I might have been injured and upset now, but I was still more powerful than he was, and I had Demogorgon as backup on top of that.
When it came, his reply was nothing like what I’d expected. “I wouldn’t dream of doing that. I’ve already tried it once and I know it won’t end well for me. But that’s just the thing, Delilah. I’m dying.”
As he spoke, Cain lifted his shirt, exposing his chest to my eyes. A dark pattern was spreading over his body, from his heart, like a spider-web of black magic.
“I’m hanging on for now, but it’s only a matter of time until this body falls apart. And when that happens, you won’t have anyone left to turn to.”
* * *
After everything I’d been through, I’d thought I was more accustomed to the idea of death. Hell, I’d walked through battlefields riddled with corpses. In this life, I’d even reaped the souls of children.
I shouldn’t have panicked at something so simple. But maybe things were finally starting to get to me, because as soon as I understood what he was saying, I had a meltdown.
I didn’t shout at him. It would have been childish and solved nothing. Instead, I got up and made my way to his side.
He stayed where he was, watching me in silence, a hint of wariness on his face. “You won’t die,” I told him. “I’m tired of playing this game with whoever is pulling the strings. If you’re here, you belong to me.”
He arched a brow at me. “I don’t remember signing up for that.”
“You did when you walked into this building,” I snapped at him. “Now shut up and let me see what’s wrong with you.”
“You could just ask,” he grumbled.
I ignored him. Looking at the wound, I had a feeling that I might have caused his injury somehow. I remembered killing him. How could I ever forget? Was this a side-effect? If so, I needed to know.
Despite my anxiety, I was careful when I touched him. My fingers barely skirted the edges of his wound. His skin was cold, too cold, and I shivered when I felt the incipient traces of death already bubbling inside him.
That was all the confirmation I needed.
“I did this,” I told him.
“Yes and no,” he replied tiredly. “This is a wound I’ve been carrying for a long time. I actually got it when I first fought Abel, the day I killed him.”
He fell silent, but I didn’t push him. I was rewarded for my patience when he decided to elaborate.
“My brother was always different. His affinity to the earth was incredibly profound. My family and I all had our own skills, but he was better than us.
“At one point, he became very resentful. Mother had told us the story of our banishment, of how she’d been tricked by Lucifer, of course. He took it even more poorly than I did. He thought it was unfair for The Supreme Being to punish us for wanting to be more.”
Honestly, I agreed with Abel. But I didn’t have all the details of what had happened back then. By the time Lucifer had engineered what was now known as the Original Sin, the first Satan had already been killed.
“We always thought that one day, we’d take our revenge,” Cain continued. “But it never happened. Our mother died still bitter and grief-stricken over what she had lost.
“After that, our father returned to his first wife, Lilith. She and Eve had actually been very close. I don’t know if you’re aware, but she was the one who managed to salvage the shards of hope from the Garden of Eden, implanting it in the hearts of humans. She helped me a lot in those difficult times.”
I scanned my memory for anything I knew about Lilith. It wasn’t much. My Watchers had only mentioned her once, in passing, and when I’d been Satan, she hadn’t really been important to me. Apparently, I’d been wrong to underestimate her.
“But Abel didn’t find the same solace, nor did he care for Lilith as much. He became obsessed with his vengeance,
far more than I was. His magic was twisted, and so was his mind.
“I feared for him. I tried to reason with him. But nothing worked and one night, I realized just how bad it was. He was talking about forcing Lilith to reveal the location of the Vessel of Hope and to find a method to channel that power. The terms he used… Well, suffice to say they shook me. Shortly after that, we fought. I killed him, and he left me lethally wounded.”
“But you survived,” I said, finally finding my voice. “Was Lilith the one to save you?”
“Yes. With her help, I managed to devise a way to contain the curse left behind by my brother’s death. But she’s gone now, just like my mother is, and the curse was reignited when you killed me.”
What could I say to that? I’m sorry? It would have been stupid, since I didn’t know if I regretted my actions. I’d done my best with the information I’d had at the time, and Cain hadn’t exactly been nice to me either.
In the end, I chose a different approach. “If I’m the one who caused this, even if indirectly, maybe I can lend you a hand. Is that why you’re really here?”
Cain shook his head. “To be honest, Delilah, The Supreme Being could have lifted this curse a long time ago. In a way, he even offered. But I don’t really want to keep living. I want this all to end. I made a mistake with my brother and with the way I dealt with The Infernal Realm. I want to fix it and just… fade away.”
His words left me gobsmacked. They might not have been that special, but it was the first time someone had said something that resonated so deeply with me.
My lovers had tried to understand me, although I now had to wonder how much of that had been truly genuine. But even at their best, they’d never understood my relationship with death.
It wasn’t their fault, not really. I hadn’t been open to them about it, because I’d known it would scare them. And maybe in a way, I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it either.
But I couldn’t pretend any longer. I saw my own heart in Cain’s tired, dark eyes and admitted, “Me too. I feel the same.”
Cain’s breath caught and for a few seconds, I thought he’d try to argue with me. After all, we weren’t in the same position. But he didn’t tell me I was stupid for wanting to throw my life away. “Do you remember?” he asked instead. “What happened… back then?”
“Some of it,” I whispered. “Nothing good. Enough to know I don’t want to remember all of it.”
“That makes sense,” Cain answered. “Memories are the true essence of a soul, after all.”
A worm of suspicion wriggled at the back of my mind. I remembered the soul channeling ritual and its strange effect, including the visit of the little girl’s ghost.
“Souls, huh?” I drawled. “And I bet you know everything there is to know about that.”
He couldn’t have missed my ominous tone, but still, he wasn’t intimidated. “Not everything, but close enough,” he replied with a mild grin. “Why? Does that thought scare you?”
“Not at all. I’m just tired of everyone keeping secrets and thinking they can use me however they damn well please.” With a sharp grin, I crawled into his lap. “You wouldn’t do that, would you, Cain Adamson?”
As I spoke, I buried my hand in his hair and pulled, knowing I was most likely hurting his scalp, but not particularly caring. Once again, he showed no reaction. If he was in any pain because of his wound, he was trying to hide it from me.
“I’ll only ever do what I must, Satan,” he replied. “And yes, that means I’ve been forced to dabble in some pretty questionable things. But you don’t have to worry about that. You have more than enough power to fight me off, no matter what I do.”
“I wish I could believe that, but I know better than to trust you.”
“And yet, here you are, still holding onto me. Why haven’t you sent me away?”
It was a good question. Considering our history, I should have destroyed him the moment I’d set eyes on him. If I hadn’t done it, it wasn’t just because he’d offered to help me.
I thought about the answer carefully. The explanation was obvious, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to head into that direction.
My lovers might hate Cain, but he and I hadn’t gotten along either. No matter how I looked at it, using him for revenge was a bad idea.
Maybe I said some of that out loud, or maybe Cain was just really good at reading me, because the next thing I knew, he was wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer. Anger festered in my heart, just like his wound did on his chest. I didn’t refuse him.
When he kissed me, I kissed him back. A part of me screamed that this was wrong and it would solve nothing. I promptly told it to shut up.
For over two years, I’d thought I belonged to my lovers. I’d thought we’d be together forever. But all that had been a lie. I couldn’t go help my family if I was falling apart out of heartbreak.
I would fix this, here and now. I’d take my body and my soul back, even if that meant having to share it with someone else.
Of course, I wasn’t willing to start a relationship with Cain. My heart was what had gotten me in trouble in the first place. I wouldn’t let it betray me again.
With that in mind, I tore my mouth away from his. “No more kisses. I’m done with that.”
Cain didn’t even blink. “Got it. But you do want my cock in your cunt, don’t you?”
I didn’t shy away from it, embracing the hatred that was pushing me into an act I would have normally found repulsive. “Yes. Fuck me. Fuck me hard.”
He didn’t need to be told twice. His fingernails turned sharp when he ripped my gown apart. He didn’t bother removing it altogether. He just got rid of whatever was in the way, making sure he had access to my breasts and to my pussy. I was just as frantic, tearing his clothes off, trying to reach for his dick. In my frenzy, I wasn’t as efficient as I should have been, so he ended up doing everything on his own.
He hesitated only once, when he discarded my panties. His cock nudged my folds, but he didn’t shove it inside, even if he certainly could have.
“You’re so beautiful, you know,” he said. “I wanted you from the moment I saw—”
I snarled at him, cutting him off mid-sentence. I didn’t want endearments any longer. I’d walked down that path and it had ended in heartache.
I might have claimed I was Delilah, but I couldn’t leave my other self behind. My Watchers—no, my former lovers—had never forgotten, so I couldn’t forget it either. I’d just have to work around it then. And that meant throwing all weakness out the window.
Gripping Cain’s shoulder, I tightened my hold on him. His lips went white with pain, but I didn’t care. I’d accomplished my objective. He’d shut up and he wasn’t trying to slow us down any longer. He was also still hard, which was a good thing, since I didn’t really want to find someone else to fuck me.
I supposed I could have asked Demogorgon, but as far as I could tell, he couldn’t shift into his original form, and I had no desire to take a snake into my pussy. I needed a cock.
It was very easy to get Cain to fall in line with my wishes. In one single, sharp motion, I impaled myself on his dick. Pleasure exploded through me as he filled me, and I let out an involuntary gasp.
My grip on Cain faltered, but it was too late for him to escape me. His eyes flared with almost insane levels of lust, and his power started trickling into me, drugging my unresisting form.
For the first time, I remembered Cain’s line—the Adamson clan—was said to have incubus abilities. I’d miscalculated a little bit. Whatever.
Obeying my silent command, he didn’t speak again and he didn’t kiss me. Instead, he flipped me on all fours, somehow managing to do so without even leaving my body.
His hands landed on my hips, squeezing me so tightly it hurt. But he didn’t stop there. He might not have had tentacles like my Watchers, but he didn’t need them. His power explored every part of me he couldn’t physically reach, zeroing in on my nipples, on my spine,
on my wings. “More,” I croaked out. “Fuck… More.”
In response, Cain pulled out of me and thrust back inside, so hard my teeth rattled. At the same time, incorporeal fingers rubbed against my engorged clit. My vision went fuzzy, and I cried out, feeling like I was falling apart at the seams.
“That’s it,” he whispered behind me. “Let go. Don’t be afraid.”
If I could have spoken, I might have told him off. But I couldn’t get my mind to function properly, not anymore. He fucked me hard and fast, like his life depended on it. It was probably a good idea. If he’d stopped now, I might have outright killed him.
With every second that passed, Cain increased the pace. Through our point of contact, I could feel his pleasure building as he buried his dick in and out of me, over and over.
It was addicting, and it fed the fire inside me even further. In a bout of sudden clarity, I managed to clench my inner walls around him. I wanted him to come inside me, to fuck me so deep that all traces of any other men would be washed clean.
Incubus or not, Cain couldn’t resist me. With a grunt, he thrust inside me one last time and fell over the edge.
Even if it was what I’d wanted, I was a little disappointed, since I hadn’t come yet. But Cain’s orgasm seemed to have next to no effect on him. His thrusts faltered, but only for a few seconds. He didn’t soften and before I knew it, he was fucking me again, just as enthusiastically as before.
Cain’s pleasure still vibrated over me like a physical caress, so it didn’t take me long to find my peak. All Cain had to do was extract a feather from my wings and crush it in his fist.
It should have hurt, and up to a point, it did. But the pain was negligible, replaced by something greater, fiercer. It reminded me a little of Sunrefni’s purifying fire, except I could actually survive it.
As I writhed in the throes of orgasm, Cain pulled me back into his lap, like I’d been earlier. The simple motion drove his cock in deeper and I screeched as he triggered a second orgasm. He sucked on my nipples, clutching the edges of my wings in an attempt to stabilize me and control the pace. He wasn’t completely successful.
