by Brynn Hale
Keegan says nothing as he goes to work. He makes a place on the tray, wiping it off first. Then he sets out the hamburger and fries and about thirty packets of ketchup in a pile next to it. And lastly from a drink carrier, he pulls a large white Styrofoam drink.
“Chocolate malt.”
I poke a straw into the top and suck a long sip. “I lean my head back. God, that’s so good. They put more malt powder in theirs. Just like how I used to make them when…I… worked…” I quiet. I don’t share my time before Passion Point. It doesn’t exist in many ways.
He pulls out his own dinner. He got the same burger and a fries. I don’t feel like I can’t eat around him.
I pick up the hamburger and the mustard drips onto the paper. No ketchup on the burger, like always. Ketchup is for fries. I sink my teeth into the soft bun and through the juicy meat, crisp lettuce, tangy tomato, sour pickle, and finally followed up with the final bun. It’s even better than I remember.
“Thank you,” I say from behind a napkin.
“You’re welcome. Thanks for letting me back in the room.”
I take another bite and let out a long moan. “So good.”
His eyebrows peak, but after he takes a big bite, he’s doing the same. The sounds coming from the room are possibly obscene, but I don’t care.
“Dang, that’s a good burger.” He eats a couple crinkle fries.
“You’ve never had a Lola’s burger?”
“I normally go to Chuck’s.”
I shake my head. “Oh…” I gasp dramatically. “Chuck’s doesn’t compare.”
He shakes his burger. “I can taste that!” Setting the burger down, he takes a long drink of his vanilla malt. “Wow. That’s like…really good.”
I laugh. I look over at him as I lean back to let the food settle. “So…what do you do besides bring food to hungry women in the hospital?”
“I’m a firefighter.”
“I think you probably told me that…that night.”
“Maybe. We really didn’t talk much, did we?”
“I think I asked you if you wanted to have sex and that was pretty much my opener and closer for conversation.”
He lets out a long laugh and the things that it does to my body are both heavenly and hellish. I’m soaked through my panties. Have been since I woke up and saw my hand in his.
Keegan had the same effect on me at Reese’s party. He said something sarcastic about the food being unimpressive to get a rise from Reese, when we both knew it was a spread to beat all spreads. I defended the food—I helped make half of it—and Reese’s talent. He chuckled and my knees crumbled. And then he wandered off. I figured maybe we were over before we started.
I thought he was fucking hot from the moment he came to the party. Tall, shiny dark skin, chocolate eyes that up close I know have gold sparkles. And I also know that he has an amazing tattoo on his abs that says “In God We Trust” with smoke going through it. I guess it’s his protection motto while he’s working. And it leads to what I can only remember as being spectacular. Too bad that tattoo provided no protection for us.
The danger aspect of his job concerns me, but I’m sure that it’s mitigated by measures and they take proper precautions.
We talk about things that aren’t really important. Then we talk about what is and I have to know.
“Do you ever get scared at a fire?”
He wipes his mouth off. “Honestly, yes. But I won’t let the guys know that. It’s not that we don’t talk about it, it’s that it’s hard to admit it. Boscoe and Ridley are really good at releasing the calls in our follow up sessions, but I just don’t have to release it.”
“But you do get scared?”
“Well, sure. There’s been a couple of times when I’ve really been close to not coming out of a house.”
“That would be scary.”
“And you haven’t ever been scared?”
“In the emotional sense yes, but not in the bodily sense. I haven’t ever been in a burning building, Keegan.”
He moves the bed table and his knuckles lean into the bed next to me. “Are you scared right now?”
My heart pounds fast. I stare at his luscious lips. I know how soft they are. “I’m petrified.”
His lips claim mine. I remember how insistent he was that night, but this time he’s more controlled. He’s not going for the goal. He’s calming me with a kiss. I’m being manipulated by a great pair of lips. And most of me is okay with it. I wrap my hands around his neck and over that hair that’s wiry, but how it tingles my fingers makes me moan into his mouth.
A throat clears behind him, but he doesn’t move. He slows the kiss.
“A-hem!”
I giggle and he pulls away slowly.
“Holy shit,” he breaths out.
“Sorry, folks, but visiting hours are over.” Nurse Dorianne comes into the room and checks the monitors, writing down information. “I’ll give you five more minutes to say goodbye and then it’s out Mr. Zraa.” And she’s gone.
I roll my lips inward and they tingle. It’s like they want to remember that kiss…and crave more.
“Are you leaving?”
He shakes his head. “Not if I can help it. I’ll be right back.”
“Promise?”
His fingers thread behind my neck and he kisses my forehead. “Promise, sweetheart.”
“Can I borrow your phone to text Reese?”
He holds it out. “Code’s 6617.”
“Wow, do you let everyone know your PIN code?”
He stills. “Wow, I’ll have to change that now.” And he winks.
It’s like being hit with a shooting star. I make a wish and sigh as he walks out.
I open and create a text to Reese.
Keegan: Hey, it’s Bryar, using Keegan’s phone. I’m sorry, I won’t be able to come in for my shift tomorrow. I’m still in the hospital and they want me to take a few days off.
Reese: What happened?
Keegan: I fell
For a guy and I have to pick myself back up before I fall too far.
Keegan: I fell on a run, they’re just being cautions. Nothing serious. I’m sure I’ll be released tomorrow.
It’s way past series. It’s into running-into-a-burning-building terrifying.
Reese: I’ll bring over some food and a good bottle of wine for you tomorrow.
Keegan: You don’t have to do that.
Reese: Yes, I do. Bryar, you are my friend as well as my employee. I know it’s not supposed to work like that, but it does.
Keegan: Then skip the wine, please.
Reese: Okay. If there’s anything I can do to help…Let. Me. Know.
Keegan: I will. Thank you. <3
Reese: It’s really weird having that come from Keegan and if Kelton sees this, I’m going to have to do a lot of explaining.
I laugh and the door opens back up.
But this isn’t a laughing matter.
Chapter Five
Keegan
I walk back in. “I’m staying here. She’s getting a reclining chair and a blanket.”
“You don’t—”
“Yes, I do. Bryar, you don’t ask someone about being scared, if you’re not scared, too.” I pick up my malt and suck down the rest. “Plus, I might have greased the wheel with a large chocolate malt.”
“That was the best meal of my life.”
I smile and I’m rewarded with that beautiful, heart pounding smile of hers. “This was the second best night of my life, sweetheart.”
“And the first?”
“Reese’s party, that night, every part of it.”
“It was pretty special, right?”
“I thought about you… a lot.” I sit on the edge of her bed, facing her. “I just didn’t know…you said one-night…and I didn’t get your number. I’m sorry, I should have asked Kelton to ask Reese. Or put a personal ad in the ViewPoint. I should have tried to find you…and now I’m here—”
“I’m pr
egnant, Keegan.”
If you’d have told me I’d be hearing those words today and that move over that I’m the father, I would have told you that you’re high or at least dreaming. But in this moment, the dream is real, and I feel high on the truth. I feel like this was meant to be. If she wants it to be, I’m in this with her.
“I’m here for you. Whatever you decided. I’m not going anywhere.”
She wraps an arm around me and I adjust to lay next to her. “I am scared.”
“I’m know. And I’m sorry. I should’ve worn a condom. I never go without, but …”
“It happened.”
“Yeah. I take full responsibly for my part in this and no matter what I’ll help you however you need or want.”
“Stand up, please.”
I do and she pulls back the covers. I slip off my shoes and snuggle in with her. Her head lays against my chest. “It’s going to be okay, Bryar.”
“I hope so.”
My phone rings and I reach back to grab it. Donte.
“Just a minute…”
I slide out of bed and shake my arm as pins and needles roll though it. I slept in a weird position, but I’d sleep on my head to be sleeping next to her. She smelled like vanilla and cinnamon and it kept me up most of the night, but I feel energized.
The nurse and doctor pass me as I slip into the waiting room.
“Hey, what’s up?” I ask Donté.
“Are we going to the range this morning?” He’s required to do so many hours a week to keep his skills sharp. The only thing the firefighters are asked to do is stay in good health, physically and mentally.
“Not today. I’m still at the hospital.”
“I figured you were out for a run.”
“No, I stayed the night.” I stretch and get more oxygen back into my system.
“Who is this chick, bro?”
I ignore the question. “I’ll be here for a while. Maybe all day.”
“Okay. Later then, I guess.”
This isn’t a chick. This isn’t my normal. But this is where I want to be.
I pass the nurse and doctor and head back into her room.
Bryar’s green eyes flick over my face. “They won’t let me go home…”
“Oh. What’s wrong?”
“Unless someone is there with me. They need me to be supervised for at least 72 hours.”
“I can do it.”
“I can’t ask you to do that, Keegan.”
“I have the next three days off and I can get more off, if needed.”
She shakes her head. “I know you want to help, but I’m feeling confused and a little overwhelmed.”
“I promise, you won’t know that I’m even there.”
She sighs. “Okay. Why don’t you go shower? They’re gonna have me do the same. I’ll be here for a while longer.”
I lean over the edge of the bed and I swear she stiffens. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Just ready to go home.”
I kiss her forehead and then I hover over her lips. “Last night was the second best night of my life.”
“Thank you for staying.”
I press my lips to hers. Keeping it soft and yet hoping to show her that I’m still here for her.
“Okay. I’ll be back as soon as I can be.” I back away.
She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. I’m concerned that the doctor said something and she doesn’t want to worry me. I’m okay with being worried, if it allows her to feel less worry. I want to absorb whatever she needs me to.
“Later, sweetheart.”
She gives a wave and says nothing.
It’s often what people don’t say that’s more important. Like those sessions where we’re supposed to release things that happened on a call. A couple weeks ago we lost a mother and daughter in a car accident. I sat silent when everyone else talked about it. I hold back. I know I do, and I don’t know what it’s going to take to get me to purge it all.
My shower isn’t long. I want to get back to Bryar. I can’t shake the feeling that we’ve slipped backward this morning when I really felt like we were moving forward.
It’s Sunday, so I call Momma. She answers on the first ring. I chuckle climbing into my SUV.
“My baby boy.” She’ll probably call me that until I’m forty, but even after twenty-seven years, I’m not totally comfortable with it and Donté heard her one day and gave me shit for a month. I take her calls in private now.
“Hey, Momma.”
“What’s wrong?”
And that’s her gift in life.
I start my vehicle and transfer the call to hands-free but stay put. “I need to figure this one out on my own.”
“Stubborn. Just like your daddy. Is it work or life or money or love?”
“I did something that’s affecting someone else’s life. I’m afraid that I don’t know how to be an adult and handle it.”
She laughs. “Keegan, you’ve been the man of the family for twenty-two years after your daddy left. You’re more adult than I am some days.”
“Momma, I know you don’t like to talk about him, but I need to know now. Why’d he leave?”
There’s a long silence. I pull the phone away and see that it’s still connected. “Momma?”
“Your daddy couldn’t handle loving someone more than himself. He had a spirited attitude that made him appealing, maybe even dangerous. He could break a heart and not look back. I knew this about him, and I still went into the fire, Keegan. Maybe I liked being burned in some ways.”
Her words singe my skin. “Is that why I haven’t found someone? Am I too much like him?”
“No child. You’re just too stubborn to let love in. You’re passionate and you know how to love, you’re just scared.” She clears her throat. “My I blame myself. I should’ve tried to find someone after Kenneth, but I think I was scarred and probably scared, too. Baby boy, just know that whatever you’ve done…you can make it right for this person, whether that means being there for them or stepping away, either can be the right choice.”
“Love you, Momma.”
“Then why don’t you come see me!” She always has to get that in there.
“I’m hoping that soon we’ll see each other.”
“Is that a promise?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Praise, Jesus. I finally got you to say it.”
I laugh and put the vehicle into drive. “Momma, I gotta go. Love you.”
“I’m thinking about you. Love you, baby boy.”
I get to the hospital and ride the elevator. I probably look like a fool with this wide smile and almost skipping.
I open the door. “Okay, if I come in?”
“Sure.”
A chill runs my back. I push the door open. And the bed is made and a custodial engineer is mopping the floor.
“Umm…do you know where the woman who was here is?”
“She was discharged. You might ask at the desk.”
“But I was supposed to take her home…”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Sounds like she ditched you, sorry.”
I walk down the hallway.
I should have trusted my instincts. I should have dug a little deeper.
But maybe she still would have run.
Chapter Six
Bryar
“I knew we shouldn’t have left you, but I’m even more upset that you lied to us.”
Evan shoots Jacque a look. “Now is not the time, Jacque.”
He props my feet up on a pillow. “I’m just upset. Reese…you fainted?”
“But I’m okay.” The words even have a hollow sound to my own ears.
“But why did you faint?”
“Just haven’t been eating great. My car had some issues and I’ve been eating a little less than great. I’ll use my credit card to get some fruits and veggies. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m going to make you some soup and some fruit salad and…”
“The
n go do it, please, my husband.” Evan shoos him from the room. He turns back around. “Okay…what’s the real story?”
I shake my head and purse my lips. I need to keep my emotions under control. I won’t break. I already told Keegan that I was scared and that’s more than I told anyone in years.
“I’m not ready to tell people.”
“But you’re okay?”
“I will be.”
“Okay, but whatever you need. You just ask us.”
I nod from my place lying on the couch. “I do need to go get a new phone.”
“We’ll get it for you, just order it and I’ll go pick it up today.”
It wouldn’t be fancy, but right now, I didn’t need fancy, I needed working.
“And make a list of what groceries you need and we’ll make a run to the store.”
“Evan…I’ll be—”
“I know. I know. You’ll be fine. But we won’t. I know my husband. He’ll ruminate forever, if he can’t help you. Bryar, you don’t understand. You’re our family and right now he’s destroyed that you didn’t call us earlier. His trust is broken, but that’s on him. All we can do is hope you’ll call us in the future.”
My eyes burn with tears and I have to close them to make them go away. They’re not gone, they’re hiding. “I haven’t had family for so long and even before that, I didn’t have a real family.”
Evan sits on the coffee table. “And I’m not saying that you have to, but we want you to know that we’re here for you. No matter what, Bryar.”
“I’m pregnant.” I don’t know why, but I warm a little when I say it.
He smiles. “I knew there was something more to it!” Evan leans forward and hugs me. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks. I guess we’ll have one more in our family soon.”
“Jacque is going to be so excited. I mean, if you want others to know. I can keep it to myself.”
“No, it’s happening.”
“And the guy?”
I lay back. “I don’t want him to feel pressured. I want him to want me, as well as our baby. We can parent as singles. People do it all the time.”
“But why not try?”
