by Brynn Hale
I swallow back the fears. “I don’t know.”
Keegan
I sit back on the couch. The door opens and Donté rolls in with a pizza box.
“Do you ever stop eating?” I ask him with a little annoyance.
“Wow, nice to see you, too. I guess it didn’t go well with the hospital chick.”
I stand. “She’s not a chick. Her name’s Bryar and she’s pregnant with my baby.”
He stills and then starts laughing. “Dude! You’re gonna be a dad? That’s like…the best news.” He sets the pizza on the rickety old dining table that we found on a corner. We don’t need new. New is for when we’re adults. And now, I think I need to be an adult.
He comes over and extends a hand. “Congratulations, Keegan. I dream of the day when I find the right woman and we make life together.”
“Thanks.” I shake his hand. “Any leads on that woman?”
“Nope. Come have some pizza.”
I sit down and grab a piece of the veggie covered pizza. He does occasionally eat some vegetables.
“She ditched me while I was back here and I don’t know her number or where she lives.” I take a big bite.
“You know her name?” He smiles creepily.
“Damn, I forget you have people.”
“I have people.”
My phone buzzes on the table. “Hey, Boscoe, what’s up?”
“Any chance you can come in for the night? Taggert and Lake are both heading home sick. The admins are coming in to disinfect, but it’s a full moon.”
I remember the last full moon. It was a good one. My cock hardens just wonder if he’ll ever have a chance to be with Bryar ever again.
But this is part of the job. They’ve been there for me, so I will be there for them.
“Yeah, let me get dressed and I’ll be right there. Probably twenty out. Text me if you have a call, grab my dress, and I’ll meet you there.”
“Thanks, and I owe you one, Keegan.”
“I’ll be right there.”
I grab my gear after changing and then snag another piece of pizza. Sometimes we don’t get to eat on a shift and sometimes we get to eat two or three times. I don’t cook. I burn air. But it’s part of the job, too. I make sacrifices so people live and that’s not a sacrifice. It’s a privilege and honor.
The shift is actually slow, which is weird for a full moon. It’s not that people get crazy during that phase of the moon it’s actually that they get distracted and thus, more car accidents.
I’m lying in my cubby in the bunk room when the first call of the night comes over the system.
“Two car collision, two children trapped in back of minivan. Possible third ejected. Vehicles hit a gas main. Gas company has been called. Use caution. 3300 E Stigwood Drive.” The operator repeats the details.
In two minutes, we’re en route and the ambulance is screaming in front of us. They do the people. We do the property.
The police have the traffic re-routed but wave us through onto the thorough fare and when I get there, I see a familiar face. But his face doesn’t look like it normally does.
“What’s up Officer Caron?” I ask my roommate and he shakes his head.
And that’s when I know that it’s not good. It’s bad. Really bad. Seeing death does something to a person. It would be easy to think that it makes a person value life, but all it really does is make one understand the fragility of life.
“Fire!”
The sounder makes my stomach crash. And with the leaking gas, it’s twice as bad. The gas company shows and goes to work, but we need to get closer to get the car fire out.
I lift the hose and run to a hydrant, my training kicks in. As soon as the gas company has given the all clear, I’m at the front of the nozzle, inching forward. It’s not safe yet. And then I hear the voice screaming. A child.
“Lieutenant, you hear that?”
“I do…”
The mother has already been evacuated, but once they smelled the gas, the police had to get back.
We look around. I step around the vehicle, one on its side. And then I see her. She’s wedged between the two vehicles.
“I…I tried to crawl out and I got stuck.”
“Hey, sweetheart, we’ll get you out of there.”
Two go to work on the kids inside of the overturned vehicle and I try to keep her calm.
“My names Keegan. What’s your name?”
“Coralie.”
“Pretty name. How old are you?”
“Seven. My leg hurts. Is mommy okay?”
“She’s gonna be okay.” I don’t technically know that, but I’m hopeful and that’s what Coralie needs right now—hope. “We’ll get you out of there as soon as we can, sweetheart.” I lean back and Boscoe’s there. “How are we doing?”
“JOL.”
Jaws of Life.
And that’s not good. It means noise. Noise freaks kids out.
“It’s time,” I say to him, and he knows what I mean. Lieutenant Boscoe and I have a repertoire of songs that we sing to scared kids.
“Sweetheart, it’s going to be noisy while they get your sisters out of the van. You just keep concentrating on my voice, okay.”
Her eyes flutter closed.
“Coralie! Stay awake.”
“But I’m tired.”
“Sing with me. You know the Itsy-Bitsy Spider?”
“Yes.”
I sing and she joins in, but soon she’s mumbling words. “Boscoe, she has to come out!”
“Twenty-seconds, they’re boarding the other two right now and they’ve got the hookup ready to pull the car away.”
My heart just hurts. She’s so adorable. And she’s got so much life ahead of her.
“Coralie, who’s your favorite singer?” I ask.
“Jojo,” she says faintly.
I pull out my phone and pull up who that is. “JoJo Siwa?”
“Uh-huh,” she says on a faint breath, her tiny ringlets blowing in the wind.
“Let’s sing some JoJo, then.” I start a song and her face crinkles. “Is that not a good one?”
Boscoe comes up. “How about Boomerang?”
“You know a song?” I ask.
“Yeah, it was part of a bet gone really wrong.” He holds up his phone and starts singing and Coralie joins in. Her face brightens. They sing about being a boomerang, which I don’t get, but I suppose if I have a little girl, I’ll have to know lots of new things.
I stare at her and things just click into place.
I have to make it work with Bryar. There’s potential it won’t, but there’s hope, too. And in the chance that it doesn’t happen, I’ll be the best dad I can, parenting alongside of Bryar.
God, let it work out.
Boscoe keeps her occupied, while they start moving the car just enough to get an EMT into the small space between the vehicles.
She screams out
“Two more inches,” the EMT calls out.
He puts the protective collar around her neck and carefully rolls her while she and Boscoe continue to sing.
I meet her on the other side of the van. “Hey, there.”
She smiles. “Bye.”
That’s probably the last time I’ll see Coralie, but that’s how it’s supposed to be. We usually can find out how things ended up, but sometimes we don’t. We did our part. We clean up the scene and wait for the wreckers to come to upright the van and get them hauled off. And in an hour it will look like nothing ever happened.
But we will know.
Chapter Seven
Bryar
I’ve had enough soup to fill all of the Great Lakes, I swear. Jacque has cleaned my apartment top to bottom. I’m feeling like a kept-woman—by a gay couple. They’re adorable and Hugo has been laying with me on the couch while they mill around. They’re both creatives—an artist and an actor—so they’re home almost all the time and that’s both good and bad.
I did have one more dizzy spell yesterday. I
set up an appointment with an OB/Gyn online for this coming Friday.
Reese stopped by and hurt my ears when she screamed when I told her the news. But she also stopped when she realized who was the father. Kelton’s liked Keegan from day one, but other firefighters find him to be cocky and sometimes a risk-taker.
That does worry me. If we give this a try, I want him in.
I’m watching re-runs of Project Runway with Hugo when there’s a knock on the door. Hugo jumps off the couch, wagging his tail and rocking his entire body with his happy dance, which means it’s Jacque. Jacque is the fun parent and Evan is the mean one, in their adopted roles. I wonder if I’ll be the mean parent like my father. And technically Evan’s not mean, he’s…strict.
And I think Hugo likes that I share my Goldfish crackers. I’ll definitely be the nice parent. Sucker.
I call out, “Come in!”
The door opens slowly, and my eyes connect with his. But it’s not Jacque.
Hugo still does his happy dance and then takes a seat right in front of Keegan. My heart warms. Hugo knows a good guy. That litmus test shouldn’t be the confirming one, but Hugo holds a lot of weight in my mind.
“Hey, there.” He squats to the dog’s face-to-face height and Hugo gives him a slobbery lick up his face. “Whoa dude, I don’t know where that tongue’s been.”
“And you don’t want to know.”
“I can imagine.” He chuckles, and his pools-of-chocolate eyes come back to mine. “Can I come in?”
I nod without saying anything. I swallow as he gives Hugo more love before he rises. Those long legs. Those broad shoulders. That oval face with a long nose and full lips.
“How did you find me?” I ask trying to pull my brain from the endorphin haze I’m in. I’d blame it on pregnancy, but this is exactly what caused the pregnancy in the first place. The heat between us pulses. The heat between my legs pulses. The heat in my heart… it wonders if he’s here to douse all the fires or ignite them into raging infernos.
“Well, I kind of used some contacts I have. But…if you don’t want me here…”
“No, I was thinking of how I could find you and that we should talk, Keegan.”
He slips off his shoes by the door and takes a seat in a chair next to the sofa. “How are you?”
“I’m doing good. How are you?” The formalities are stiff and they almost hurt. I just want to blurt what I want to tell him out, a geyser of information that will either have him running or have him happy. I think there’s a 50/50 chance of either.
“I’m glad to hear that you’re doing okay.” He leans forward, his elbows on his knees. “Why did you leave before I got back to the hospital?”
“I had to do it. I’ve never been able to trust men not after what my father did to my mother. I was feeling things that I’ve never felt with anyone. I’m petrified of letting myself fall and not being able to get back up or even worse…being held down.”
He stands and slides onto the couch next to me. “Tell me and let’s find a way to build that trust, please.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust.”
“Have you decided—”
“Yes.” I grab his hand. “I’m keeping the baby and no matter what I want you to be a part of their life.” Holding his warm hand does something to me inside. It bolsters the scared child inside of me. “When you were holding me in the hospital bed, I didn’t hear the screams. I felt…” I swallow and look into his eyes. They’re tumbling with hope and I try to not get sucked into the waterfall because at the bottom of the drop there is a pool of fears. “I felt protected and wanted.”
“You are, Bryar. I’ve never felt like this for anyone.”
“But are you sure it’s for me, or it’s some responsibility you feel?”
His other hand slips along my cheek. “I cared for you before the baby came into the picture. I swear I thought about you every day…and every night, Bryar. And then last night…”
His chest rises and falls quickly.
“What about last night?”
“I saw a little girl trapped in a wreck and all I could think about was what she might not get to do and I realized that I didn’t want to be regretting anything. I…I asked my buddy on the police force to…”
“Look me up?”
“Yeah. You mad?”
I wrap my fingers around his wrist as it slips behind my neck. “Not at all. I was trying to figure out how to find you.”
“You can stop looking, Bryar. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I grew up without a father, I know what that does to a kid. I won’t ever do that. No matter what, you have my promise.”
I lean my forehead to his. “I’m sorry I left.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come find you sooner.”
“Do you want to stay?”
“Forever?”
I laugh. “Wow, don’t move slow, Mr…” I laugh. “I don’t even know your last name!”
I laugh with her. “Zraa—with two ‘a’s.”
“Zraa…Keegan Zraa.” I stare into those eyes that make me wonder if he’s hiding some fine chocolate in there.
“Bryar Zraa,” he whispers against my lips and my insides turn into hot molten lava.
“Yes…” I moan the word as he claims my lips. Hard. Confident. And needy. It’s the trifecta that I want right now. I need him. I need to be connected to him and know that our compatibility is greater than both liking malts and baseball and hating the word “moist.”
But…first…
My chest rocks fast.
“Let me take Hugo home.” I lean my neck to the side so he can have better access.
“He’s not yours?”
“No, he’s keeping me company. He’s my neighbors.”
“Where’s he belong?” His teeth bite at my ear. “I’ll take him back.” He stands quickly and shakes out his legs. “Might take just a second before I’m presentable.”
I stare at what’s making my mouth water. Damn, I want to wrap my mouth around his cock and make him moan. There was no real build up to what we did the frist time. We were both just ready to have a release and at least I can confirm that it was fucking fantastic, so it’s not like I don’t know what I’m getting into. Eight long, thick inches.
He grabs the leash at the door. “What door?”
“Maybe I should go with you…”
“No, sweetheart. Hugo and I will be fine.”
“Twenty-six, to the right.”
“Come on, bud.” He leads the giant dog and Hugo doesn’t hesitate. He trusts Keegan and now I just need to open up and let it happen, too.
Chapter Eight
Keegan
Keegan
I knock on the door. I hear voices behind the door. And it sounds like people are jostling behind the door.
“He has Hugo!”
The door opens and a man about my age looks down at the leash in my hand. “Let me guess…Keegan?”
I chuckle. “So you’ve heard of me?”
The other man crosses his arms on his chest. “Oh, we’ve heard of you, but we’ve also heard that you don’t know how to ask for a girl’s number.”
Whoa.
Hugo sits next to me, refusing to go inside.
The taller of the two tilts his head. “That’s weird.”
“So, I guess you’re friends of Bryar’s?”
“No, we’re her family.”
That’s not DNA possible, with one of them being black and the other being Asian, but I get what he’s saying. DNA doesn’t always decide family. The guys at the station are my family.
I hold out my hand. “If we can start over? I’m Keegan Zraa. I’m a firefighter here in Passion Point at Station 1. I love your friend and I’ll do anything to see that she and I make this happen, but in the minute, tiny, almost incalculable chance that it doesn’t…” They both smile.
I smile back and continue. “I’d still like to be your friend and you can know that I’ll be the best parent
I can be to our baby. And by our, I’m assuming that you’ll both be involved as well.”
Their faces light up.
The taller of the two holds out his hand. “I’m Evan Colter and this is my husband Jacque Desmond. Jacque, be nice.”
I shake his hand. Jacque’s arms are still crossed.
“I just want to know one thing…”
“Okay.”
“What’s her birthday?”
I think back to all the things that we talked about and my heart sinks. “We didn’t get around to that.”
“It’s tomorrow, so I’d get on that shit right away, Mr. Zraa.” He sighs. “And she likes fluffy socks, chewy candy, and rom-coms.”
“Thank you, Mr. Desmond.”
He flutters a hand through the air. “You can call me, Jacque. But if you hurt her, you’ll be calling me your worst nightmare.” The way he says it isn’t exactly scary, it’s more entertaining.
“I…I think I should get back to Bryar.”
Evan’s chest rises and falls as his eyes scan to his husband. “Wow…I like this side of you, Jacque. Hugo, inside, now. We’ll be over tomorrow to check on Bryar, Keegan. Have a good night.”
“You, too, Evan. Bye Jacque. Bye Hugo.”
And the door closes.
I stop outside of her apartment door. Wow. Didn’t expect that. But part of me really liked it. She has people who look after her. And now I get to look after her, hopefully forever, but there’s something I’m dying to do.
Her.
Bryar
I come out of the bathroom and he’s waiting on the couch. I walk to Keegan, and with no hesitation, I straddle his lap. His warm hands settle low on my hips as I lean forward and run the very tip of my tongue over his puffy lips, tracing the peaks and valleys. He stays still and allows me to tease him.
“Everything go okay?” I ask.
“I think so. Evan’s cool. Jacque is quite the…”
“Character. Yeah, he’s an actor and I think he’s quite dramatic most days.”
“That explains a lot. I felt like I was in the middle of a rehearsal for a bad sitcom.”
I laugh, but soon I’m serious again. “Please don’t hurt me.”
