Suds and Sam For Hire

by Stella Marie Alden

  In the lobby, I wave through the window at the barista in the cafe, sign the guest book, and take the elevator.

  I knock on the doorway of Slate’s office where he stands at an accordion-like structure, holding his keyboard and monitors.

  “Is that new?”

  He frowns at the contraption and pulls it down. “Standing desk. It’s a Christmas present from my wife.”

  “Like it?” I try to picture one in my new office but can’t.

  He shrugs and steps around it. “Not really. I’ve asked Patten to buy the office next door and install a gym.”

  “Good idea.”

  I take off my hat, scarf, mittens, and coat. While I throw my stuff in an empty chair, Slate settles down at a small glass table, and turns on a projector.

  The back wall lights up with a picture of three middle-aged men. “Last summer, these guys were injured in midtown when a car jumped a curb. Their insurance company is looking to sue. Lawyers want to recover over a million dollars in medical bills.”

  “I remember this. An old woman had a heart attack. How is that anything but an accident?” My initial high of having something new to research takes a free fall but Slate, focused on the wall, misses my not-so-subtle facial clues.

  “Good Health said it’s standard procedure to investigate. If they’re happy, it could mean a lot of work for my newest franchise, your new detective agency.” He turns and studies my face, to read my mind.

  Imagining a steady stream of cases not related to cheating spouses and dick-pics, I grin and give him a thumbs up. “Awesome.”

  Slate catches my gaze. “No sleuthing. Just data. Agreed?”

  “Sure, sure. Slam dunk. And thanks.” I blink and smile, hoping to pass his truth-serum-like scrutiny.

  After a minute, he comes to some conclusion and focuses back at his laptop. “I sent this to Sebastian, so he can officially sign off on the job. How’s your license coming along?”

  A moan escapes me despite my best intentions to hold it back. “I got some notice from the city saying I need more hands on. Apparently, the cat-napping did not count.”

  One eyebrow goes up. “Not surprised.”

  Our conversation is interrupted by a knock on the doorframe. Slate stands and smiles at a handsome man with a mostly shaved head and light beard.

  “G’day. I’m Lochlan, also known as Lucky.” Even if he didn’t announce his name, I’d have known he’s Sebastian’s best friend by his accent.

  I take the outstretched hand. “Samantha. I’ve heard so much about you.”

  “All good, I hope.” He winks and I smile broadly. No wonder he and Suds are close. The two are cut from the same cloth.

  “Me and the wife are having a late lunch. You two want to join us?”

  Slate shakes his head. “I’ve got too much work and need to take a raincheck. Go ahead, Sam. I’ll send you everything you need, along with the forms to fill out.”

  This morning, I wondered about Slate asking me to come into the office. Our meeting could’ve been done online. I bet three Patten men got together and wanted me meeting Lucky to seem like a coincidence. But why?

  After bundling up, I follow the huge Australian to the elevator where he eyes me up and down. “Former Feddie, eh?”

  “FBI. DC.”

  “Suds said he got you fired.”

  “Yes and no.” The car dings as it passes each floor and I eye the bodyguard. “I got outsourced by artificial intelligence and a bunch of cheaper analysts in Ireland.”

  “How was my pal responsible for that?” He signs out at the front desk and hands me the pen.

  “It’s a long story. My boss gave me the opportunity to try for a different position, more face-to-face. I was supposed to get some information from a guy named Sebastian Sutcliff.”

  The Aussie chuckles. “Don’t tell me. I bet he went into the southern rambling thing he does. He can talk for hours and say nothing.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Your former boss must’ve been a real arsehole.”

  “You have no idea.” When the memories resurface, I can’t help but smile. “My job was to interrogate Suds over a gas explosion in New York. You were there, right?”

  “Worst day of m’life. A few of the wives decided to give my sheila a baby shower…” His eyes shine. “I went to put a few presents in the car, heard the bang…”

  He swallows hard. “I thought she was gone. Me and my mates stared down at this huge hole in the ground and figured no one could possibly survive.”

  “It turns out, Suds got them all downstairs and next door… We all owe him for saving our women… and my baby.”

  “Girl or boy?” I walk outside, Lucky holds open the door, and I shiver in the north wind blowing straight off the ocean.

  He pulls a phone out of his pocket. “That’s her. Pollyanna.”

  “Aww, she’s so cute.” My internal clock ticks and I feel old.

  Will I ever arrive at a place in my life where I can have kids? Lucky’s toddler, covered in sand, grins up at me, a sad reminder of my pathetic financial state.

  As he starts to put his phone away, it pings. “Ace. My wife got us a table and is waiting for us.”

  Inside the restaurant, a lovely blond with striking blue eyes shuts her laptop and stands with her right hand outstretched. “You must be Samantha. I’m Callie.”

  “Sam.” At the table for four, I sit opposite her while the Aussie eases down between us, dwarfing the small square.

  A young woman hands us a menu. “Something to drink?”

  “I’ll have a beer.” I point to dark brew on tap and he nods his approval.

  “Me too.”

  “A Chard for me.” As Callie puts her computer into her bag, she frowns.

  “Everything okay, luv?” Her husband eyes her and catches her gaze in the way only people deeply in love can do.

  “My latest experiment failed the first round of tests.” The young genius shakes her head back and forth.

  “I’m guessing you can’t even discuss it?” Her work in EMF is so classified, even I didn’t have full access.

  They both nod so I change the subject. “How did you two meet?”

  “Boston. I was supposed to be guarding a pair of earrings. Fell for her the moment I set eyes on her.”

  Callie laughs. “Can you imagine, two hot bodyguards? Patten sent Lochlan and Suds to guard me.”

  A shudder runs down my back. What if she had fallen for my man, instead of the Aussie? How different would my life be?

  Our drinks arrive, we toast to new friends, and order. We women decide upon salads while Lucky points to a thick burger with a huge pile of sweet potato fries.

  “How long are you in town for?” I ask.

  “About three weeks. Callie has to make a few presentations, then we’re back to Boston. She’s teaching at MIT.”

  “Are you still a Patten man?”

  “I take a job here and there.” He shifts in his chair and glances at his wife and it suddenly dawns on me.

  “Wait a minute. Did Suds ask you to watch over me?”

  “Yeah. Nah. Not really.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “We’re tight. Brothers. Callie had some research, so I joined her in the city. No drama, sheila. If you need me, I’m here for ya. We good?” He winks.

  Maybe some people might take offense but I get it. My whole damn family is overprotective. It’s no doubt why I fell for Suds. He’s totally in my comfort zone.

  “We’re good.” I raise my beer to my fiancés best friend who relaxes back in his chair.

  After, we sit and talk most of the afternoon away. They especially like my first missing person’s case, where Frankie asked me to steal his cat away from the ex-wife.

  Lucky’s laughing so hard, he wipes away a couple tears. “I wish I could’ve seen it.”

  Callie stretches. “We should get going. I have some work to do before tomorrow and I need to find out what went wrong with my las
t prototype.”

  “Of course.” I stand and hug them both. “It was so nice to meet you. Thank you. I hope we can do it again, soon.”

  “Absolutely. And remember, if you need to go on a walkabout, you call me.”

  “Not a chance. Other than fixing up my new office space, I’ll be at home on my computer. You can inform Suds of that, too.” I kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

  Chapter 5

  Suds

  After a long day of skiing and watching Tiera party, I check the perimeter of the A-frame, turn on the alarms, and drop onto my mattress.

  Resting on my back, staring at the ceiling’s rough-carved beams, I call Lucky but his wife picks up. “Hey Suds.”

  “Callie. I heard you met Sam. What did you think?” Closing my eyes, I picture the happy restaurant scene and wish like hell I could’ve been there.

  “We had such a great time. She told us all about the cat-napping, how you got her fired, and how you two saved Christmas. You’ve been busy.”

  “Damn straight. We’ve got a business to grow.” I place my weapon beside the bed stand and stretch.

  “Sam and Suds Detective Agency, right?”

  “No, Suds and Sam.”

  She giggles. “I have to agree. Suds and Sam is much better.”

  “Is your husband there?” In the background, a toddler rapid fires mommy-mommy-mommy and Callie sighs heavily.

  “Just a moment, Polly. I’m on the phone… Sorry, Sebastian. Lucky went out for a few. Can I leave him a message?”

  “Nah. I only wanted to thank him for watching out for Sam while I’m gone.”

  My best friend’s wife takes the tone of a middle school teacher. “You do know she’s close to thirty-five and used to work for the FBI, right? She’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself.”

  Damn! I plumb forgot how ladies like her tend to stick together so I backpedal real fast. “True and I agree one hundred percent. Sam hasn’t got her PI license yet and I want to make sure she doesn’t break any rules.”

  “Uh-huh.” The genius doesn’t sound convinced and there is nothing else for me to do other than mute my phone, chuckle, and go on the offense.

  “As I recall, you got into a whole mess of shit when you first met Lochlan.”

  She sighs. “Point taken, but heed my warning. Don’t overdo the protectiveness, okay? Intelligent women want to be treated seriously.”

  “Copy that.”

  “How’s Utah?”

  Feeling I’ve passed a test, I take a deep breath, and yawn. “Truthfully? I can’t wait to come home.”

  “It can’t be all bad.” Callie’s toddler whines in the background, I don’t want to keep her on the phone.

  “You should go.”

  “Hold on. I got something to say. You’d best marry her.”

  “Not you, too?”

  “… Polly, Mommy’s talking. Just a sec.”

  When Callie comes back, I give her my point of view. “I was ready to take Sam to Vegas during my Christmas vacation but she wants a huge affair. It’s going to cost us more than a house in the burbs.”

  She snorts out a laugh. “I’m sure her family will pay.”

  “Don’t be. Her dad hates my guts.”

  “How is that even possible? You’re so damn adorable.”

  Shaking my head, I kick off my boots and socks, “I know. Go figure. I think they hate Sam owning a detective agency which isn’t fair because it was her idea.”

  “Remember how my mom hated Lucky at first?”

  I think back a few years ago to the day my pal and I first met the pretty whiz kid. “She damn near ripped him a new one with one look.”

  “Well, if he can win over my family, you can hers.”

  Smiling, we finish up our chat with promises to get together soon and after, I call Sam.

  “Huh? Hello?”

  “Hey. Did I wake you?” Sitting up, I place my phone next to the bed.

  “Wha? No. Maybe. A little.” Her bed springs groan, the lamp on her nightstand clicks, and a small motorboat purrs in the background.

  “Chloe?”

  “Yeah. She’s so cute when she sleeps but I’m no sucker. Today she beheaded the Mother of Christ. I need an old priest, a young priest, some holy water, and a bible.”

  “Sam, for the love of God, it’s a cat.” Chuckling, I kick off my jeans, check the outside cameras one more time, and pull my shirt over my head.

  “I’m just saying… If you find me murdered in my sleep, assume she did it.”

  “Should I ask Slate to hire you a bodyguard?” I slide out of my underwear and completely naked, lay back down on the bed.

  “Jury’s still out. I’ll let you know.” Feline toenails click on the wood floor and fade away. “She’s gone. I think you insulted her.”

  “Good. She’s too young for what I have in mind.”

  “And what might that be?” Her voice lowers to a sultry whisper.

  “Phone fuck?” I hold my breath, hoping she won’t think I’m some kind of pervert.

  “Seriously?” Sam sucks in air. “Yeah, sure.”

  My cock jumps and points at the ceiling. “Hang up. I’m going to call you back on a more secure line.”

  When her beautiful face shows up on my screen, for a moment, I forget how to talk and wonder why I thought taking a job on the other side of the country was a good idea.

  “Did you lock the door?”

  “Only me and Chloe are here and she can’t reach the handle but just in case, I will.” Her feet pad across the floor, the door knob latches with a metallic noise, then her beautiful image returns.

  “Now what?” She bites her lower lip, the centers of her dark eyes widen, and so many sexy images flash through my mind, I don’t know where to start.

  “Take off your shirt.”

  “Okay.”

  I see nothing but her closet door. “Sam. Prop up your phone and stay in front of the camera.”

  She laughs. “What about you?”

  I point my cell at my swollen appendage and she gasps. “Shit.”

  The image goes dark for a minute as she drags around some furniture. The next time I see her, she’s leaning back on her elbows, staring through her risen knees, her heels on the bed.

  She spreads her legs with the camera pointed at her clit.

  Moaning, I fist myself. “Sugar… touch yourself for me.”

  Her hand slides between her already wet folds. “Like this?”

  Oh hell, yeah, like this. Using lotion provided by the hotel, I slide my hand up and down, imagining being inside her.

  Sweating, I pause, not wanting this over so soon. “Stop.”

  “Why?” She stares through her legs, her sweetness quivering.

  “Sit up and pinch your nipples for me. I want to see them.”

  “But I was about to-”

  “Do it, baby.”

  With both hands she cups her breasts and leans in toward the camera.

  Fuck me. She’s so damn sexy, my back muscles coil, ready to spurt my juices.

  I close my eyes for a moment and let go of my cock until he settles down. When my lids raise her eyes are in the screen. The centers are so dark, they cover the brown.

  “I want to see you come.” Her silky voice touches a nerve above my tail bone and I almost lose it.

  “I will but only as you do. Open your legs. Imagine my tongue swirling around your nub with my index finger curled inside your opening. Picture me pressing the special place that makes you wild.”

  “Suds.” Her head goes back, she spreads her knees further apart, and plays in her own juices. “Oh fuck. Yeah. Here I go.”

  “My God, Sam.” I fist myself faster, over the tip and down to my base.

  As I go over the edge, she shouts out her orgasm on the other side of the fucking US of A.

  After, she grabs the phone and breathes heavy while I do the same. Hell, I want to be with her so bad, I’m ready to quit my job, find a plane, and go home.<
br />
  “Sebastian! Come here. I need you right now.” At Tiera’s screeching, my adrenaline spikes.

  “Fuck. I got to go.” Grabbing my gun, I jump into a pair of sweats, and sprint down the hall.

  The way the actress screamed, I expected to find a kidnapper, a rabid raccoon, or perhaps even a snake. Instead, she points to a small spider on the ceiling over her bed.

  Shaking my head, I consider shooting the damn arachnid. Instead, I grab the dangling intruder and as I turn, Tiera pulls down my sweats, showing off my ass.

  “Dammit girl, I’m not interested.” I drop the spider on her head and slam the door on the way out while she shrieks.

  “Fuck you, bodyguard. You’re fired.”

  “Good.” I stomp back down the hall and into my room to let her cool off.

  Shit. Sam is still on the line. “You should sue her for sexual harassment.”

  I chuckle. “No one would believe me.”

  “I could be your witness.”

  “She’ll chill out by morning and I can continue to collect a paycheck.”

  “Tell her if she keeps it up, I have a gun.”

  I pick my phone off the floor and grin so she can see. “I’ll do that.”

  “And you tell her my dear friend Frankie is a hit man.” She smirks with one side of her pretty mouth raised.

  “Good idea.”

  “I love you, tough guy.”

  “Love you, too, sweetheart.”

  “Sweet dreams.”

  “You too. Talk soon.” Not anywhere ready for sleep, I open the new Suds and Sam email account and answer the few requests lucrative enough to take on as clients.

  Chapter 6

  Sam

  My first thought as I shut off my cellphone’s alarm is TGIF. My second is how to ditch my blind date. No one else awake, I jump in the shower. Still aroused from last night, I turn the sprayer head to vibrate and get some relief before breakfast.

  While I make some joe, my two cousins struggle out of their beds.

  “Late night?” I place coffee mugs on the kitchen table in front of them while they sit.

  Rose pulls apart her gooey lashes so she can open her eyes enough to glare. “Not so damn loud.”