Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 1

by Fujino Omori, Kiyotaka Haimura

  No matter how much blood she coughed up, how many steps she had to take, how many tears she had to wipe off her cheeks.

  The only option for clingers was to pursue their dreams.

  “Connecting bonds, the pledge of paradise. Turn the wheel and dance.”

  Spirits break, over and over. Willpower had a limit; nothing was immune.

  Only those who didn’t know when to give up could mend a broken spirit.

  Only the most stubborn of souls could get up time and again, no matter how hard they fell.

  “Come, ring of fairies.”

  Lefiya sang.

  Swallowing the blood that still flowed up her throat, she continued her enchantment to validate her worth despite always being protected. She continued her song to reach that next plateau, closer to where they resided.

  “Please—give me strength.”

  Her song must reach that girl.

  If her feet were too slow, then let her song accompany her into battle.

  Even if she didn’t turn to listen, as long as Aiz heard her, was put at ease, was protected, she would be satisfied. She’d be part of the battle to slay the enemy threatening her.

  Just like a fairy dancing in the forest. Just like a fairy fighting for the one she loved.

  A song that was truly her own, reaching out.

  This song, this Magic must reach her.

  “Elf Ring.”

  Her golden magic circle turned to jade the moment those words left her lips.

  “Lefiya?!”

  “?!”

  Tiona noticed a sudden influx of magical energy. Of course, the monsters trying to sink their fangs into Aiz noticed it as well and were instantly attracted to the stronger magic source.

  Aiz’s eyes widened in surprise as all three creatures turned away from her.

  “—Harbinger of the end, white snow. Gust before the twilight.”

  Lefiya’s incantation continued.

  Her already completed spell was warping into something new, a different type of Magic.

  —There was a limit to the amount of spells someone could learn.

  Each Status had exactly three spell slots. That meant that even the most skilled mages could learn a maximum of only three types of Magic.

  The same was true for Lefiya—but her final spell was special: Summon Burst.

  It allowed her to duplicate any elvish magic that she could either recite the incantation for or fully understand the effects of. This incredibly rare spell gave her access to a library of magical attacks. In exchange for the extended summoning time and an incredible amount of Mind energy, she could make any other elf’s magic her own, after witnessing it at least once.

  For that reason, the gods and goddesses of Orario had given her the title of “Thousand Elf.”

  “Fading light, freezing land.”

  She chose to summon the attack magic of the elvish queen, Riveria Ljos Alf.

  Lefiya was calling forth a blizzard cold enough not only to keep an enemy from moving but to freeze time itself.

  The jade magic circle began to pulse. A second elegant voice joined Lefiya’s song.

  The two voices harmonized as the magic circle blazed brightly beneath her feet.

  “—!!”

  The three carnivorous plant monsters picked up speed.

  Terrifying roars resonating like a broken bell, they launched their fanged blossoms toward the growing source of magical energy.

  “Ah-ah-ah, I don’t think so!”

  “Stay down!!”

  “!”

  “?!”

  However, Tiona, Tione, and Aiz were faster. Getting between the monsters and their friend, the three girls unleashed a barrage of punches and kicks to slow them down.

  The elf saw her allies come to defend her, but she knew what was coming her way. She leaned forward and crossed her arms to protect her stomach.

  No sooner had she braced herself than more spear-like tendrils burst out of the ground in front of her.

  Pain shot through her legs, shoulders, and head.

  Fresh wounds were open and bleeding, but it would take more than that to kill her. Her dark blue eyes shot open and she finished casting her spell.

  “Blow with the power of the third harsh winter—My name is Alf!”

  The magic circle rapidly expanded.

  Her lips were illuminated by blinding jade light as she said:

  “Wynn Fimbulvetr.”

  An arctic blast filled the street.

  Aiz and the twins jumped out of the way at the last possible second as chilling white winds overtook the monsters. Their skin, their petals, even the sound escaping from their fanged jaws froze in place. A layer of frost overtook all three of the monsters.

  Three overgrown flowers were frozen in time. They stood like statues caged in ice that would never melt. The spell turned the surrounding area into a winter wonderland, the streets a skating rink surrounded by buildings and debris that were frozen solid.

  Wind whipped fractals of ice through the air, making the area sparkle like the inside of a snow globe under the bright midday sun.

  “Nice, Lefiya!”

  “Never had much of a green thumb anyway. See? It’s black and blue thanks to these weeds.”

  Tiona came bounding toward the elf, all smiles, while her sister vented frustration. Both walked past Lefiya and up to two of the frozen monsters.

  Neither of them hesitated the moment they arrived in front of the deep-blue beasts. They even took the same pose.

  “!!”

  “Take thisss—!!”

  Both spun into the air and slammed their heels into the monsters.

  Their wheat-colored skin was a blur on impact. Cracks raced across the surface of the ice before the carnivorous plants collapsed into a pile of shards.

  “Aizuu.”

  “…Loki?”

  Aiz turned away from the frigid massacre unfolding at the hands of the Amazons to search for the voice that called out to her.

  She found two human figures standing on top of the remains of an item shop. One of them was a little animal-person girl who looked familiar; the other was Loki. Her goddess was holding the young girl in a reassuring one-armed hug at her side.

  Loki had a sword in her other arm. A moment later, she tossed it to Aiz.

  “This is…”

  “Hnn, kinda borrowed it from that shop over yonder.”

  She pointed to the remains of a street stand that had been destroyed by the monsters.

  Strips of steel sparkled beneath the wood debris. It used to sell weapons.

  That morning, the two of them had visited a street stand just like it.

  “’Kay, have at it.”

  One look at Loki’s smile made Aiz forget to ask her when she’d found the little girl. Instead, she returned her goddess’s smile with a grin of her own.

  “…”

  Chilled air rose from the sheet of ice covering the ground.

  Aiz carefully walked to the base of the last frozen monster.

  It stood like a silent reminder of what the carnivorous plants could have done.

  Now it was frozen solid, unable to defend itself or run away from Aiz as she drew the new sword from its sheath.

  One slash became hundreds in the blink of an eye as lines crisscrossed its body.

  Aiz jumped over the monster’s head to deliver one final blow. “Hyuun!” The blade whistled as it sliced through air and beast.

  Sheets of ice crumbled to the ground.

  Off-balance, the remaining pieces of the monster collapsed in on themselves.

  More ice fractals danced in the sunlight, the air shimmering like the human girl’s blond hair.

  “Thanks so much, Lefiya! You saved us!”

  “M-Miss Tiona?!”

  Tiona ignored Lefiya’s injuries and embraced her in a big hug that took the elf off her feet.

  The elf’s left eye closed as she winced in pain, cheeks blushing bright red. Lefiya didn’t seem too
proud of herself.

  Looking as aloof as usual, Aiz sounded relieved as she walked up to her friend.

  “Thank you, Lefiya.”

  “Miss Aiz…”

  “You looked like Riveria…That was impressive.”

  Those words made her open both her eyes. Overcome with emotion she’d never felt before, the elf blushed as red as an apple before looking at the ground. Still in Tiona’s bear hug, Lefiya felt her lips find their way into a smile.

  “Yeah, yeah, congrats an’ all, but ya still got work ta do.”

  Loki clapped her hands twice as she walked between the girls.

  The Guild employees were still running around like madmen. It was too early to let their guard down.

  “Tiona an’ Tione, would ya mind goin’ underground? Make sure there’s nothin’ down there.”

  “Yep, yep, can do!”

  “How ya feelin’, Lefiya? You could go with the Guild lady, get fixed up a bit?”

  “Ah, yes, I shall.”

  The deity’s vermilion gaze next fell on Aiz.

  “Take care’a the rest of the monsters. I’m comin’ with ya.”

  “Understood.”

  The group split up to follow Loki’s orders. Only Aiz and the goddess were left standing on the ice.

  “So, shall we?”

  “Yes.”

  The two started back toward the Coliseum when immediately—

  The sound of cheers and applause in the distance reached their ears.

  But to their surprise, it wasn’t coming from the Coliseum.

  The sound was coming from the southeast, close to Orario’s second “labyrinth”—Daedalus Street.

  The sun sank in the western sky, already halfway hidden behind the city wall.

  The four girls walked toward home on North Main Street, under a sky of brilliant yellows and oranges.

  “Haa! That was a long day.”

  “A very eventful day, for sure.”

  Lefiya grimaced as she responded to Tiona’s comment. Her injuries had been treated and her body bore no scars, but her once-refined clothing was an absolute mess.

  Today’s incident had been resolved for the most part. Thanks to Ganesha Familia and the Guild’s efforts, there were no casualties and damage to the city was kept to a minimum. However, the perpetrator was still at large. No one knew the identity or motive, be it a simple prank or the first step in an elaborate plan.

  “Looks like the Guild and Ganesha Familia will be on thin ice for a while. It was their responsibility to keep everyone safe.”

  “Maybe that’s what the mischief maker was after…?”

  “You could be right.”

  Aiz listened to Lefiya and Tione’s conversation as she looked down at her own body. A twinge of sadness passed through her eyes.

  “What’s the matter, Aiz? Something wrong?”

  “…Tiona.”

  Aiz looked up at the Amazon and her shoulders shrank apologetically. “Sorry,” she said weakly.

  “The clothes, they’re ruined…”

  “…”

  While nowhere near as bad as Lefiya’s, several seams in Aiz’s clothing were torn and the hemming was frayed. The once-pristine white top was now a blotchy gray.

  Her clothes weren’t made from the flexible, strong fabric of battle cloth for the Dungeon but normal everyday material. Of course they wouldn’t be able to withstand that kind of punishment.

  Aiz seemed to be trapped by her own sadness, not knowing how to proceed. Tiona made eye contact with her and gently smiled.

  “Let’s go buy some more sometime?”

  “…Sure.”

  Tiona’s smile was dazzling in the red sunlight. Aiz couldn’t help but do the same.

  Her cheeks felt warm in the last of the sun’s rays.

  “…”

  Her spirit lifted by Tiona’s kindness, Aiz’s mind once again drifted toward the boy with white hair.

  Just as she thought, he’d been at the Monsterphilia.

  After the girls had gone their separate ways, she and Loki pursued the last of the monsters that escaped the Coliseum. But it was the boy who slew the final one.

  Although she saw him only in passing, Aiz was grateful that she got to meet him today.

  Bell…

  His name still lingered in her memory.

  Her mind was set; she would find a way to apologize. But there was something else, too.

  Part of her was happy that the newbie she remembered had defeated a monster that should have been well out of his league.

  It happened on East Main Street.

  She had arrived at the entrance to Daedalus Street, but hundreds of people were already there. All of them were celebrating the return of one brave adventurer.

  Many happy people all in one place.

  A young adventurer had overcome his fear and slain a monster.

  He’d gone from a laughingstock at the bar to being celebrated as a hero…and that made her happy.

  Aiz looked up at the darkening sky with her usual distant expression.

  “Hey, where’s Loki?”

  The girls were practically at the doorstep of home when Tiona noticed their goddess was missing.

  “She said something came up. Also, she’ll be late, so don’t save dinner for her.”

  “Drinking again? After what happened today? She’s something else!”

  “Perhaps she needed to meet with another god…?”

  The sun sank even lower.

  The shadows of the girls on each building grew long and were swallowed up by the shadow of the city wall.

  Twilight overtook Orario.

  Magic-stone lamps of every color imaginable lit up the Shopping District, in southern Orario.

  The night sky loomed over the city, but this district was very much alive. Humans and demi-humans of all shapes and sizes brushed shoulders as they excitedly went from theaters to bars and back again. Adventurers in armor stood out from the crowd. Even a few deities mingled with the masses.

  One particularly classy bar was located in a corner of the Shopping District.

  Loki and Freya sat around a table in a room so wide and well decorated it was fit for a king.

  “My, my, what could be so important that you call me out at this hour?”

  “Ya have some idea, I reckon.”

  Both goddesses grinned. They held glasses of wine in their hands, but neither took a sip.

  Freya looked completely relaxed. Loki, however, was grinning like a child who’d just figured out a secret.

  “You’re the one who caused the scene at today’s festival.”

  “That’s quite the accusation. Do you have any proof?”

  “No need for that kinda wild-goose chase. Facts are facts. No one but you could’a done that.”

  Loki gulped down the expensive wine in her glass like it was nothing more than water before continuing.

  “Charmed, charmed, charmed, all of ’em were charmed. Ya turned all the Guild workers’ and Ganesha’s kids’ spines to jelly. Then, ta-daa! No more lookouts. Ain’t that right?”

  Freya’s beauty could “charm” thousands of people at once.

  No amount of reasoning could hold her beauty at bay. Instincts took over as a feeling of ecstasy washed over those who laid eyes on her. It wasn’t uncommon for particularly vulnerable beings to fall madly in love with her at first sight. Her allure was strong enough to wrap some deities around her finger. The children of Gekai didn’t stand a chance.

  It just so happened that even monsters could fall under her spell.

  “None’a the escapees hurt nobody. From what I seen, they were lookin’ for somethin’. Somethin’ that a particular boobs-fer-brains goddess wanted to find.”

  Pointing out that no living monster would turn down a chance for fresh meat, Loki made her final argument.

  “The only one who could change murderous monsters into dangerous teddy bears is you. Plain an’ simple. Can’t figure out what the hell ya were tr
yin’ ta do…but you’re the guilty party.”

  “…Fu-fu. Indeed, it’s exactly as you say.”

  “Ho-ho, you’re takin’ this well.”

  Loki grinned from ear to ear after Freya confirmed her theory without so much as a denial.

  “Maybe the Guild would like to hear ’bout this? Wonder what kind’a penalty they’d draw up for ya…”

  Freya kept smiling despite Loki’s thinly veiled threats.

  She closed her eyes and sat for a moment. Then she raised her eyelids just enough to flash confident streaks of silver at her counterpart. Then she spoke.

  “The eagle feather robe.”

  “Huh?”

  “The robe that I lent you still has yet to find its way back to me. If you wish to sell me to the Guild, I would like it returned beforehand.”

  Loki’s grinning lips suddenly went limp.

  “Wha…? You’re talkin’ about the big fluffy one from Tenkai? I just borrowed it! Why now of all times do ya want it back? Seriously, I can’t just whip it outta thin air!”

  “That’s not my problem. But, of course, you’re not the type to go back on a promise made to a goddess, now are you?”

  Freya’s gaze intensified, the corners of her lips pointing straight up. Loki struggled to come up with an answer.

  “Well, but ya know…I’ve really taken a likin’ to it. Would be sad to see it go…”

  “If you’re willing to stay quiet about today’s events, and about my activities in the future…I’ll offer you the robe for your silence. Do we have a deal?”

  Loki didn’t move. She knew exactly what Freya was saying, what it all meant. Her cheek twitched as her mind raced, weighing the options.

  Damn it, she swore to herself as she rested her chin against the palm of her hand.

  “That’s dirty, bringin’ up the past.”

  “Says the one trying to blackmail me.”

  Freya rolled her shoulders, thoroughly enjoying the moment. Loki’s grin had been replaced by a scowl as she leaned away from the table. She slammed her back against the sofa chair like a pouting child. The soft cushions absorbed the blow as the deity’s body sank into them.

  “Gahh, don’t be so high-an’-mighty, pissin’ me off. My beloved kiddos got the short end of the stick because’a yer game. Got roughed up pretty bad, too. Be grateful.”