by Renee, Holly
It didn’t take much longer before I was falling over the edge. I felt urgent and a little wild as I sucked on Jemma’s flesh. Easton squeezed my clit between his fingers, and I fell hard. I screamed against Jemma and chased the high of my orgasm against her as I felt Easton come inside me.
She didn’t last long after that. Her fingers dug into my hair, forcing me harder against her pussy, and I didn’t let up until her thighs tightened around my head and she screamed out my name for anyone nearby to hear.
I laid my face against her thigh as I tried to come down from my orgasm, and Easton pressed a kiss to my back before he pulled out of me. I let my knees fall then, my stomach hitting the mattress, and as I heard him moving around his room cleaning up, my stomach tightened in nausea at what I had just done.
I pushed myself up and away from Jemma, but it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with him.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy what just happened. I more than enjoyed it. But I hated that I would have never been confident enough to do something like this without him—without his encouragement, without that feeling that he wouldn’t let me fall, but I was falling, and he was letting me.
And I was stupid enough to forget it for even a second.
I grabbed my panties from the floor and pulled them up my legs. I searched the floor for my bra, finally finding it under hers, and I snapped it in to place quickly.
“Maddison.” Easton said my name as he moved toward me, but I was already scooping my dress off of the floor.
“Don’t.” I took a step back before pulling the dress over my head. I pressed my hand against my chest to hold the dress in place since I couldn’t zip it myself, and I took another quick step toward the door.
“Maddison, please talk to me.” His eyes searched my face, and I could tell he was panicking. He was losing me, and he knew it. Maybe he wasn’t used to losing girls like this. I guess he was always the one to walk away.
“There’s nothing to say, Easton.” I could feel every ounce of tension from today building in my throat. “I got played.” I shrugged my shoulders and turned for the door.
I had just turned the handle when he spoke again. “That guy you’re running back to, the one who told you everything you need to know about me? He’s the one who’s playing you. He’s the one that will break your heart. Not me.”
Jemma was scurrying around the room, gathering her things when I looked back at Easton, but he wasn’t paying her one bit of attention. He was only staring at me.
He had only touched me.
I would be lying if I said that there wasn’t some part of me that doubted what Theo had said. But I had never not trusted my best friend, and I wasn’t starting today.
“You already have.”
His lips opened as he sucked in a breath, but I didn’t stick around to hear what else he had to say. I pulled the door open and I hurried down the hall with my dress open behind me. I didn’t stop moving until I got out of the house. I didn’t care who saw me. I didn’t care what they thought of me. All that mattered was getting out of this house that seemed to be smothering me.
I called Dillon as I hit the driveway, and she answered on the second ring.
“Where are you? We just got to the party.” I could hear the noise of the music and the dozens of people through the phone as I stared at the house.
“I need you.” My voice cracked as I pressed the phone to my ear. “I’m outside.”
“On my way.” She breathed into the phone before hanging up, and when she appeared at the door a moment later, I finally let the first tear fall down my cheek.
Eighteen
I had the biggest hangover of my life.
I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the way my chest felt like it was caving in on itself, but either way, I knew that surviving today would take everything inside me.
My eyes were puffy from crying most of the night, and I hated that there was some sort of physical evidence of my heartbreak. I was usually much better at hiding it.
I didn’t have the energy or patience for my parents today, but I couldn’t blow them off. I would never hear the end of it, and honestly, it wasn’t worth it.
My phone dinged with a text message as I was getting ready for the game.
Easton: Please talk to me.
I read his words over and over, but I wasn’t ready to face him again. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to. So, I read the message repeatedly without sending a reply, but I pathetically hoped he’d send another.
I tugged a brush through my hair as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I felt so different from the girl who walked into this dorm only a couple months ago, and it was hard to remember who I was then.
But she was still engraved in me. Deep down.
I was still the same girl that would never do anything to disappoint my parents or Theo for that matter, and I couldn’t meet my own stare as I realized that.
I was pathetic, and I had let Easton convince me that I could be something different.
But I had been a fool.
I was nothing more than what I had always been.
My phone dinged again, and I scrambled to grab it off the dresser. I didn’t know why I was disappointed when I saw a message from my mom letting me know they were here. Easton wasn’t going to chase me. He wasn’t going to be the guy who begged me to forgive him.
Because no matter how badly I wanted to believe it, he wasn’t the guy I thought he was.
I straightened out the red dress my mother had bought me and looked at myself in the mirror one last time. I looked exactly like my mother would expect me to—exactly like she had trained me to look for most of my life.
And I fucking hated it.
I hated the way the fabric felt against my skin, I hated the way my normally wavy hair was perfectly straight, and I hated that I didn’t feel an ounce of myself when I looked at me.
My parents were waiting in their car when I made my way outside, and I didn’t miss the way my mother looked so similar to me as she waved through the windshield. I climbed into the back seat and smiled at Theo’s dad who sat in the seat across from me.
“Hi, Mr. Hunt.” I was happy he was here. I knew that Theo wanted to impress him more than anything, but it was hard to forget how badly I hated the man. He was cruel to Theo for most of his life, and regardless of how easily Theo swept all of that under the rug, I would not.
“Maddison, how are you?” He at least sounded sober, his words not slurring in the least, but I knew that wouldn’t last very long. It never did.
“I’m great.” I planted the fakest smile on my face, a smile I had mastered years ago, and met my mother’s gaze in the rearview mirror.
My dad was typing away on his phone, and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. I hadn’t seen him in weeks, and he still couldn’t take the time to look up from that damn phone long enough to see me.
I felt like he never really saw me.
“Everyone ready?” My mom turned back toward me and my dad finally set his phone down on the console.
“All set.”
My dad drove us through campus to the football stadium, and the traffic was absolutely insane. People were walking from the dorm fully decked out in red and black, and I wished I was with them instead of in that silent car with my parents and Theo’s dad. My dad had a parking pass that got us right next to the stadium, and I suddenly felt like I hated everything.
Their car. Their parking space. Their season tickets that probably cost more than my tuition.
We climbed out of the car, and you could already hear the roar from the stadium as students and football fans started filling their seats. My head was pounding, and I could think of a million other places I’d rather be, most specifically my bed, but I would never do that to Theo.
I followed our parents into the stadium and through the crowds as we made our way to our seats. The student section was already packed, and I wished I was over there. I
wished that I could go back just one day and that last night didn’t happen. I could have come here with Easton. I wouldn’t be sitting here wondering if he was here with someone else, I wouldn’t be hating him as the thought crossed my mind.
“How are classes, Maddy?” My father leaned forward and spoke to me around my mother.
“They’re fine.” I wasn’t lying. My classes were fine, but it wasn’t really what he was asking. He wanted to know that I still had everything in perfect order, that I was still on his perfect plan.
“Good.” He nodded just as Theo’s dad took his seat next to him and handed him a beer. “Everyone around the office is missing you.”
No one at that office missed me. They didn’t care one thing about me other than I was the boss’ daughter, but I still smiled and nodded. “I miss them too.”
He turned his attention to Mr. Hunt then and I huffed out a breath as I stared down at my phone. I considered texting Easton back. Telling him to stop texting me or to go to hell, but what I really wanted was for him to text me again.
I wanted to know what the hell he was thinking. I wanted to yell at him for making me fall for him and fucking up my head.
I just wanted… I didn’t know what I wanted.
But I knew that every scenario I could think of included him.
“Here they come.” My mother patted my leg, and I looked up just in time to watch the team run onto the field. I searched for Theo’s number seven, but everything seemed like a blur of red and black from where I now stood with my parents. They were cheering, beyond excited to watch Theo finally start, and I tried to let some of their excitement rub off on me.
Theo had wanted this moment for forever, but all I could think about was Easton.
He had been all I had been able to think about since I met him.
My mom pointed to Theo, and I finally found him as they lined up on the field. The crowd went crazy with every play, but I could barely pay attention. Our parents kept talking about how well Theo was playing, and I watched as he scored the first touchdown of the game and the first of his college career. The stadium went wild with excitement just as the band started playing, and even though I was excited for Theo, I wanted to drown everything out. The noise, the chaos.
I pulled out my cellphone and searched for Easton’s name on Instagram. There was picture after picture of him, and I tortured myself as I scrolled through them and tried to decipher which of the smiles he gave me seemed as real as the ones in the photos and which ones were nothing more than a ruse.
I clicked on his tagged photos, and I sat up straighter in my seat when I saw a picture of him that was posted by Oliver. They were at the game, this game, and even though I had no possible clue where he was, the fact that I knew he was here made my skin buzz.
I tucked my phone against my lap and tried to discretely search the student section for him, but it was no use. There were too many people. It was all a sea of red and black, and it was hard to decipher one face from the next.
“Do you want to run to the bathroom with me?” I looked up at my mom and realized it was already halftime. I had spent so much time worrying about Easton that I had missed almost half the game.
“Um, yeah.” I stood from my seat and tugged on the end of my dress.
My mother and I followed the crowds of people who had a similar idea, and I searched every one of their faces looking for him.
“Theo is playing amazing.” My mom turned to me when we got to the end of the bathroom line.
“He is,” I answered her without barely paying her any attention.
“You seem distracted.”
I finally looked up at her. “I’ve just been really busy with school.”
“How was the formal last night?”
We both took a step forward as the line moved.
“It was fun,” I lied. “Theo and I had a great time.”
“Theo sent us a picture.” She picked at a piece of lint off my dress as she spoke. “That’s not the dress I would have picked for you, but you did look lovely.”
I had to grind my teeth at her backhanded compliment. They were the only kind I typically got from her.
“Maddison.” I heard Easton’s voice, but I didn’t turn toward him immediately. I didn’t want to see him like this—not with her.
“Maddison.” My mom said my name under her breath before gripping my arm and turning me in the direction of Easton.
“Oh. Hi, Easton.” I attempted to force a smile on my face. “This is my mom. Mom, this is Easton. He’s the TA for my English class.”
His eyes narrowed slightly at my introduction, but I didn’t care. I could feel my heart hammering against my chest, and I was worried that everyone around us could too.
Because he didn’t look nearly as affected from last night as I was, but I’d be an idiot not to notice the way his blue eyes seemed more tired than usual. Actually, they looked exhausted.
“It’s nice to meet you, Easton. I hope my Maddison has been a good student.” She reached up and straightened the ends of my hair with her fingers.
“She’s a great student.” He didn’t take his eyes off me. “We’ve been really impressed with her photojournalism skills as well. She has a real talent.”
I could feel my mother straighten beside me and the urge to punch Easton right in front of her was overwhelming.
“She’s a very talented girl.” Her voice was much tighter than before, and I could hear the irritation in her voice.
“Maddison, do you think we can talk for a second?” Easton nodded his head to the side. “I have a few questions about our group project.”
He was out of his mind if he thought that we were going to do this here.
“We can talk Monday.” I stared at him and begged him with my eyes not to do this. He had hurt me enough already. The least he could do was give me the decency to not hash it out in front of my mother.
He was watching me in a way that made me uneasy. I knew he didn’t want to walk away from me, I could read it all over his face, but deep down there had to be some part of him that still cared enough about me that he didn’t push it.
“Alright.” He nodded his head, and I took a large thankful breath. “I’ll text you.” He looked down at the phone in my hand, making it clear that he knew I was ignoring his texts. “It was very nice to meet you, Mrs. Duncan. I hope you know how special your girl is.”
He didn’t give my mother time to respond as he turned and walked away from us. I watched his back as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration, and I wanted to go to him.
Even after everything, I wanted to make sure he was okay.
“He’s handsome.”
I looked up at my mom as we took another step toward the bathroom. “He is.”
“What was he talking about with the photography?” She was digging through her purse as she asked the question, but I knew she was dying for the answer. My parents made it perfectly clear what they thought about my dream of photojournalism.
“It was just for a project. No big deal,” I lied through my teeth. It was a huge deal that Easton had bought me my first camera. At the time, I thought it meant more than it did. I thought I meant more than I did.
“Okay. Oh, the bathroom’s finally open.”
I locked myself inside a stall as soon as we walked in and tried to breathe through the panic I could feel rising. Easton had made me believe that I could have things that I never thought was possible before. He had fooled me in so many ways.
Breaking my heart apparently wasn’t good enough for him.
He knew what my parents thought about Columbia, what they thought about photojournalism. He was the only one I had ever told, and I didn’t need him throwing it back in my face now that he no longer cared.
My parents would stop supporting me.
And just the thought scared the crap out of me. I knew that made me a coward. Easton supported himself and worked his ass off to be where he was, but I wasn’t like East
on. I didn’t know if I could feed myself without my parents’ help let alone do everything on my own.
I was scared I couldn’t do it without them. Without Theo.
And now without him.
…
“Theo, that was a great game.” My father clapped Theo on the back as we sat down for dinner, and I had to fight back the urge to roll my eyes. My father had already talked to Theo more in the last five minutes since he arrived than he did to me the entire game.
“Thank you, Mr. Duncan. It felt good.”
Theo had two touchdowns, a hundred rushing yards, and some other statistic that our parents couldn’t stop talking about.
“I bet you get drafted during your junior year,” my mother bragged, but Theo’s dad scoffed around the glass of whiskey that was currently pressed to his lips.
My mother straightened but didn’t say another word. She was really good at that.
So was my father.
I used to be, but something had changed. Normally, I would look across the table at Theo and give him a sympathetic look and we’d talk about it later. But I was so over that.
“You don’t think Theo is going to be drafted?” I looked right at his father as I said the words, and I didn’t look away as his gaze burned into mine.
“I didn’t say that. I just think he has a lot of work to put in.” He took another long sip of his drink, and I knew from his glassy-eyed expression that he was well on his way to drunk.
“Your son’s incredible.”
Theo was stock-still across from me, but for the first time in my whole life, I didn’t care if he was uncomfortable. I couldn’t sit by and watch his father do this. Not anymore.
“I never said that he wasn’t.” Mr. Hunt tried to dismiss me as he smiled over at my father.
“But you never said he was either.”
“Maddison.” My father’s stern voice tugged at me to be quiet, to stop what I was doing, but I didn’t.
“Dad.” I met his stare head-on, something I never did, and I could feel my hands shaking under the table.
