Love on the Boardwalk: A Cinnamon Bay Romance - Book One

by Barrett, Nikki Lynn

  He was the only other person who had one, so it made sense. She’d have to be sure to yell at him later.

  “Yeah, he did. Under the promise I would treat you like the queen you are and return it to him by tomorrow at my earliest convenience. He might be a trip, but he’s a great guy.” Mac crossed back to the stovetop and shook the pan again to make sure the onions cooked evenly. “You can relax and clean up. Kick up your feet. Whatever you want.”

  “I…” Eva opened her mouth, waiting for the right words when the rest of her spun out of control. Do whatever she wanted, sure. It was her house, after all. “I don’t understand what you’re doing here.”

  Her nerves scraped raw, she walked over to the stove and turned off the burner. Set the pan aside. Took a moment to catch her breath and crack her knuckles before she did something stupid.

  Please, keep it together.

  She tried to plaster a smile on her face when she turned toward Mac.

  “I’m not sure what you mean. I’m cooking dinner and making sure… You’re not happy.” His own grin faded as he took her in. Noticed the way she held herself and how she angled her body away from him.

  “No, I’m not happy,” she repeated, stressing each syllable. “It’s been a really long day, and I didn’t expect to come home and find you here.”

  “I didn’t mean to add to your stress. I wanted to do something nice for you. Make sure you could relax and have a bite to eat without worrying about anything. You’ve gone out of your way to help me with cleaning out my grandfather’s house, I thought I’d do something to repay you.”

  “I just—” She broke off on a sigh when the pain in her temples became too much to bear and pressed her fingers to the area. “I need a shower and some wine. I wish you would have called me first before you broke into the house.”

  “Broke into the house?” Mac took a step in the opposite direction to better take her in. Or maybe to save himself from whatever physical retribution she planned. Smart man. “I don’t think asking your coworker for your keys is a big step for the man you decided to sleep with. Friends with benefits? Still has the word friend in it. I feel like you don’t trust me.”

  “What are you talking about?” Eva turned to the sink and grabbed a cup from the drying rack, filling it with water and taking a sip against the sudden dryness in her throat.

  “I’m talking about you treating my being here like an awkward intrusion. Don’t worry, Eva. It won’t happen again,” he said lightly. “And I’ll make sure to give the keys back to Kolby.”

  Indeed, he swiped them off the counter where they’d been sitting and shoved them deep into his pocket. Wrong answer.

  And wrong tone, apparently. The hurt in his voice slapped at her, worse than a physical assault. “Come on. Don’t be mad,” she griped. “Just give me a break, Mac.”

  “Give you a break,” he repeated. “I understand you being a little frustrated but don’t humiliate me. It was hard enough asking Kolby for keys when we’ve been sleeping together for nearly two weeks. He looked at me like I’d suddenly told him I was growing a second head. Like I should have already had access to your keys. Now you’re acting like you don’t trust me.”

  “This has nothing to do with whether I trust you or not.” She downed the rest of the water, wishing for peace and quiet. Wishing Mac would take his salmon and his good intentions and save them for another day. “I don’t want to fight with you.”

  “Then let’s not fight because you’re irritated. I invaded your space, true, but I don’t want to feel like I’m wasting my time or my feelings being here. If you think I am, then tell me now, and we can talk it out.”

  Eva turned on him, searching his face and seeing a hint of anger, sure, but a whole lot of confusion in the mix as well. Confusion and vulnerability.

  Which brought an equal and opposite reaction from her. “I don’t want to talk about feelings. Okay? Now is not the time.”

  “It’s never the right time,” he replied slowly, his arms crossing over his chest. “You refuse to talk about anything other than surface emotions. How you feel during the day, etc. And you absolutely hate it when I try to talk to you about how I feel. You won’t let me in.”

  “I told you when we started this. I made it very clear we are together on specific terms,” she said, her hands moving in the air to emphasize her words. “Friends with benefits and nothing more. You agreed, remember? I’m already helping you out with your grandfather’s house, and as long as we stick to the plan, then there’s no problem. There’s certainly no room for feelings.”

  Mac stepped forward to close the distance he’d made, his fingers trailing along her biceps as though he were afraid to touch her. Afraid of how she would react. “What if I tell you I’m sick of sticking to the plan? That there are feelings here, in my heart, and I need to get them out?”

  “Then I’d tell you you’re crazy.”

  “I can’t help how I feel about you. How I’ve felt since we met. I’ve fallen hard for you, Eva, and if cooking you a meal after a long day is a criminal act, then you can punish me for it later. I wanted to do this because I love you.” The corners of his lips crooked higher. “Yeah, the big L. It’s about time I got it out in the open. Hell, maybe that drink works after all because from the first time I saw you, I was hooked.”

  Her blood went cold. Her heart stuttered, froze, and started once again, although it did nothing to thaw her insides. The damn drink. Her mind flashed back to her parents, their messy divorce. The way her father moved out and decided he would rather make a life with a new woman, a new family, rather than stick it out with his original one. After drinking the Café Amour and being told they were perfect for each other. And Sean? Two years after breaking their engagement because he didn’t want to be tied down, he turns around and gets married? No, now was not the time to tell her about his feelings. Not the time for him to say he loved her, because happily ever after didn’t happen for many couples and the stupid drink seemed to be nothing but a jinx for her.

  Eva shoved at Mac with both hands when heartbreak thickened her voice. “Stop it,” she warned, low and cold. “Don’t say any more.”

  It was all a lie. Nothing more than a product of his imagination and some stupid legend people wanted to believe as fact.

  True love didn’t exist. Period.

  “I have to say it because I’m sick of holding it inside,” Mac insisted, mouth thinning into a line. “I want you to love me because I am so in love with you it isn’t funny. I want a life with you. And I want to tell you before I leave.”

  Eva stopped moving, her feet rooted to the floor. “What? You’re leaving?”

  “I’m going back to Maine. My family—”

  Her head began to pound in time with her heartbeat. A wonder neither one had exploded. “I want you to get out, Mac. I want you to get out of my house because I’m done with you. I’m done with whatever this is we tried to do.”

  “Hold on. Let me explain.”

  She knew getting involved with him had been a mistake. And yet she’d let herself go too far, stepped over the line knowing it would end in heartbreak. Well, if she wasn’t right…

  “Please, just leave. Don’t touch me, don’t try to change my mind. We knew where this would end when we first got started. The moment just came faster than we knew. I don’t want your love, and I don’t want your damn dinner. Stop,” she warned when he started toward her. “This is how it has to be.”

  “You have a right to be pissed, but I also have a right to tell you how I feel,” he snapped. “You can’t stand there and tell me you don’t want me.”

  “Has no one ever tried to break up with you before?” She grabbed the radio and handed it off to him. “Please, go. And forget about giving Kolby the keys. Give them back to me and be on your way. There’s nothing further to talk about. Goodbye, Mac.”

  Eva held out her hand for the keys and refused to look at him for the longest time when the silence stretched thin and tense betwee
n them. When she finally did look at him, she saw no temper in his eyes. She saw no heat or willingness to continue the argument until they both turned blue.

  She saw a mask, a stranger’s face reaching for the keyring and slowly dropping it on her outstretched palm.

  “You’re making a mistake,” he murmured.

  Eva could only shake her head and turn when he made his way toward the screen door. Wait until she no longer heard him, no longer felt him. And pray she didn’t lose it and run after him.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  MAC MADE THE trip back to Maine two hours underneath his GPS predicted arrival time. He’d pressed his foot against the gas pedal without care for the cops and the speed limits, keeping his gaze focused on those white and yellow lines.

  Empty inside.

  No matter how he tried to spin it, he couldn’t find a silver lining in this situation. He’d lost the most important thing in the world to him. Not only lost but told not to come back. Not to try again when everything inside him pushed him to turn the car around. To try to convince Eva she’d made a mistake in giving up on him.

  On them.

  But he knew the look on her face. He recognized the finality in her tone. He knew when she’d told him she would delete his number, she’d meant it.

  There was no turning back.

  He pushed the car, and his sanity, to the breaking point and made it to his parents’ house just in time for dinner.

  He hated the way the scenery changed as he left Cinnamon Bay. How the soaring pines and palms turned into deciduous oaks and maples, when the grass-covered sand dunes became mountains, and the winding roads brought him over the border into Maine.

  It was beautiful country, sure. Beautiful scenery he’d once appreciated as unique. Now he stared at each passing tree embittered because it wasn’t home.

  Home. Somehow, Cinnamon Bay had become it for him.

  Mac didn’t bother knocking. He pushed right through the front door with a duffel bag thrown over his shoulder and the rest of the car packed. On the drive, he made the decision to crash with his parents for the night instead of going all the way home.

  He didn’t feel like looking at the boxes he’d convinced Lizzie to let him take. Not yet.

  “What is that? Did you hear the door, David?” Ruth’s voice carried out from the kitchen along with the scent of fresh marinara sauce and pan-seared chicken. “Is that Mac?”

  Within seconds, his father’s head popped around the corner, staring down the hallway toward the front door. His light blond hair stuck out at all angles, in desperate need of a cut and styled with a combination of tenacity and grease from the frying food.

  “Mac!” David’s face broke out in a wide grin, moving his cheeks high enough to narrow his eyes. “You’re back!”

  “Is that my Mackie, for real?”

  Ruth rounded the corner and squealed. She fisted the towel in her hand, little arms shaking, before crossing the foyer to grab her oldest son by the ears. She brought his face down to meet her and placed rose-colored kisses across his face.

  “Mom, please.” Mac sighed, ever the put-upon child. “You know your lipstick doesn’t come off. It will be on my forehead for the next decade.”

  Ruth shook her head and continued to rain affection down. “I don’t care! I’m just happy you’re home.” Her bony arms came around his chest. “You weren’t supposed to get in until later.”

  Mac returned the hug. “I know. I couldn’t wait to see you guys.”

  David stood at an appropriate distance, waiting for his chance to get in on the hug. When Ruth finally let go.

  “I’m glad you made it early. Your brother and Maria will be visiting too. Benny just called a few minutes ago, and they should be here shortly,” Ruth said, raising a shiny gaze up to meet Mac’s. She hurriedly wiped the tears out of her eyes. “I’m making chicken parmigiana for them.”

  “That’s great. The whole family together.” Mac tried to hide his wince at the mention of his brother’s wife. Not that Mac didn’t love Maria, she was great. But Benny had a wife, the love of his life and Mac had just lost his soul mate. Life sucked about right now.

  David patted Mac on the back. “Come on, pull up a chair in the kitchen while we cook. You can catch us all up on your trip. I have to say, you’ve scared a few years off of our lives. Haven’t heard a word out of you for a week. You were so busy you could only call once?”

  “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I got distracted.”

  Tonight, he let the Jenssen whirlwind sweep him away. While Ruth poured a healthy dose of red wine into a glass for him, David lowered the music on the stereo to give them the space to talk.

  “Too distracted to let us know that you’re okay. We raised you better,” Ruth said with a swipe of her spoon through the air.

  Mac dropped his head in his hands, and when he came up for air, he downed half the glass of wine in one go.

  “Oh, boy,” David began. “Ruthie…”

  “Mac, slow down! You’re going to get light-headed. You’re going to get sick.”

  They worried about him. More than he deserved.

  He squeezed the glass, his fingers tightening, tightening, until snap, it cracked in two.

  All movement ceased, Ruth and David stopping to stare at their son. When Mac failed to move, failed to blink, David reached out and took the two broken pieces from him.

  “She left me,” Mac began simply. He stared off into space, hardly aware of the room around him.

  “All right, I think this calls for something a little sturdier than stemware, Ruthie. Grab my Bubba keg. It’s heavy grade plastic.”

  Mac let his head drop as both parents rushed around. “Who left you, baby?” Ruth murmured in the soothing mom voice he remembered from his childhood.

  “…the love of my life.”

  Slowly, he raised his gaze to them, catching the concern there, the confusion. The same kind of confusion he still felt about it.

  “There’s Scotch in the den,” Ruth said without taking her eyes off Mac. “Go grab it. We need heavy-grade liquor for this too.”

  “Tell us everything. From the beginning,” his father said once he returned with the hard stuff and poured himself and Mac a glass.

  And so, he did. Every tiny piece of information from their first meeting to the last time he saw her, on his way out the door. How it had cost him dearly to not look back. To not run back, grab her around the shoulders, and make her explain things to him in a way he could accept. But he had a feeling that no matter what she said, he would never understand. Because his head and his heart were in complete disagreement. His heart knew Eva to be the one for him, while his head told him that if she wanted him gone, then it was the end.

  His heart didn’t want him to give up.

  When he finished his story, silence reigned. Mac knew his parents would take their time to process what he’d told them, he just wished they’d hurry up. The ticking of the clock above the kitchen sink was the only sound in the room, and it was a little unnerving.

  “Have you tried to call her?” Ruth finally asked.

  Mac sighed, running his hands through his hair and wishing he had something to throw. Some way to get the stir of emotions inside him, aggressively boiling since he left the Bay, out into the physical world. “No, because I deleted her number that night. I didn’t want to give in to the temptation.”

  David scoffed. “Son, if there is nothing else I can teach you in this world, it’s to not give in to your anger in the moment. Temptation is one thing. Doing something you’ll regret is another beast.”

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t live without her.” Mac pushed away from the table and stalked toward the window.

  Already the sun had set below the treeline, casting the yard into blue and purple shadows. Benny and Maria would be here any minute, and Mac would be forced to play nice when all he wanted to do was run away. Or maybe beat the shit out of a pillow. Whichever one happened to come fir
st.

  Cool hands fell on his shoulders, turning him around. Mac stared down at his mother’s face, his real mother no matter what he found out about Amber Parker.

  “Mackie,” Ruth began softly, “this isn’t the end.”

  “She doesn’t want to see me again. She made it painfully clear.”

  Ruth tightened her hold. “And when have you ever given up on anything you wanted? Who got into Full Sail University at seventeen and graduated half a year early?”

  “Well, I did—”

  “And who decided against everyone’s better judgment to start his own business straight out of college? Who was it that made said business a success after two years?”

  Mac placed his hands over hers and squeezed. “All right, yes, I get your point.”

  David raised his Scotch to his lips. “I think what your mother is trying to say,” he replied after swallowing, “is that this is a minor hurdle and nothing more. If you’re serious about this woman, then you need to go after her.”

  “What if…I’m afraid if I pack up everything and move to Cinnamon Bay, she’ll not only refuse me, but you’ll be upset,” Mac said, finally airing the last dark secret that had been gnawing at his subconscious. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m ungrateful for everything you did for me. Or that I’m choosing the Parkers instead of you.”

  Ruth and David shared a long look. “We have never thought that. Ever. Not even once,” Ruth admitted. “You know how we feel about you, and moving away, if that’s what you want, will never change it. I think the person you need to make peace with, Mac, is yourself.”

  The doorbell rang then, echoing down the hallway with a cheerful tinkle of chimes.

  Three heads turned toward the sound, and David pushed away from his seat, hands on his knees. “That would be Benny.”

  Mac ran his tongue over his teeth, the feeling of being unmoored rising once more.

  “It seems I have a lot to think about.”

  Commotion sounded from the foyer, and Ruth gave her oldest son another pat on the shoulder. “Don’t think about it too long. Strong women don’t wait around forever.”