Only Her

by Lucy Darling

“How is it?” he asks.

  “Good,” I answer. I don’t know why I’m getting so upset. I knew what this marriage was going to be, but for some reason it hurts. I flinch when Gerrit’s fingers brush along my cheek as he sticks a piece of my hair behind my ear.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks.

  “Nothing. The food is wonderful.” I can tell from the tick of his jaw he doesn't care for my response. He knows I’m lying, but he can’t make me say anything, and he knows it. I don’t think Gerrit is a man who is used to not getting what he wants. I’m the perfect example of that. He’d seen me and then wanted me. Now here I am with his ring on my finger and letting him do about anything he wants to my body, but now it feels cheap.

  He doesn't press for more, but I can tell he wants to. When the server comes back, he’s short and to the point with her. He abruptly gives her his credit card, clearly dismissing her. There he goes again. I’ll never get used to how easily he slips from hot to cold at the drop of a hat.

  “I haven’t encouraged her behavior. Do you think I’d want another while I still have your taste on my tongue?” My mouth falls open. He thinks I’m irritated about the server. I was, but that wasn't the blow that really hurt. His talk about how our upcoming marriage would be is what I am really upset about. “You’re mine and I’m yours. I’m not your father.”

  Before I can respond, the server is back dropping off his credit card without saying one word.

  “Thanks for lunch.” I push back my chair to stand. He grabs it, pulling it out for me and putting his hand on my back to guide me toward the front of the restaurant.

  “You don’t have to thank me for feeding you. I’m going to be your husband. It’s my responsibility to take care of you.” I bite the inside of my cheek. I don't want to be someone’s responsibility. I want him to do things because he wants to. Not out of some feeling of obligation. I’d rather be real than fake.

  “I don’t want our time together to end. Come back to my place.” I notice he doesn't ask it as a question. He wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me into him more. It’s on the tip of my tongue to retort that maybe he should get back to work. He’d tracked me down at the department store to tell me to text him back. Now he’s taken me to lunch. I would think he’d be itching to get back to the real love of his life—that job of his.

  “Kennedy?” I turn my head at the sound of my name to see James leaning up against the bar across the room.

  “You know James Bentford?” Gerrit asks.

  I nod my head. “We used to date.”

  His hold on me tightens. “When did that end?” There is no missing his jealousy. I shouldn’t poke him, but I find I can’t seem to help myself. I’m still irritated by some of his comments over lunch. So I give it to him.

  “When I was told I had to marry you.” I know from the look in his eyes that I’ve hit the target I was trying to. The expression on his face tells me I may have hit it a whole lot harder than I intended to.

  11

  Gerrit

  She dated James Bentford? How is that even fucking possible? It isn't. I would have known. Or at least I should have known.

  Anger and irritation flood me. I’ve experienced both of those things before, but this feels different. This feels out of control. Everything does when it comes to Kennedy. I’m constantly being hit with tidal waves of emotion, each hit being fucking harder than the last.

  “I have to say hi,” Kennedy says in a soft, hushed tone. She doesn’t have to do shit, but James is already making his way towards us. His eyes bounce between Kennedy and me. Of course she dated James. He’s a good ol’ boy. One that does everything by the books. Including following in his daddy’s footsteps to become a lawyer and work for the city. He’s being groomed to be in politics.

  “Gerrit,” James says, holding his hand out. I take it, giving him a hard shake. Maybe I squeeze his hand a little harder than usual.

  “James,” I say back. “You know my Kennedy?” I drop my lips to the top of her head, unable to help myself. I’m acting like a juvenile. I know it, but I still can’t stop myself from doing it.

  “I do. We went to college together. She was a freshman and I was a senior.”

  “He tutored me. I’m horrible at algebra. I don’t think I would have passed without you.” She gives him a warm smile. I fucking hate it. I only want her to smile at me.

  “It was the least I could do.” He returns the smile. I want to punch it off his pretty boy face. If I hadn't showed up and taken Kennedy for myself, I’m pretty sure she would have ended up with someone like James. “So the rumors are true.” He looks down at Kennedy’s ring. There is no missing it. “That was fast.”

  “When you know, you know. Now she’s all mine.” I don’t care if I’m being a dick. I’m making my point loud and clear. She’d broken things off with him because of me. Did that mean she had feelings for him? Loved him even? There it is again. Another tidal wave of emotions. I have to get the fuck out of here before I do something I regret.

  It would feel good to punch James in his pretty boy face, but I don’t think Kennedy would be too happy about that. Since she’s already pissed about something, I decide to keep my hands to myself when it comes to James. I think the fact that I don’t know what’s bothering Kennedy has me more on edge. I felt her mood shift at the table. At first I thought it was the annoying server that was too chatty. Her voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

  “You’re right. I should have moved faster.”

  Kennedy sucks in a breath at James' words. I knew I should have punched him.

  “Heed my warning, James. You better not move anywhere near her in the future. She made her choice.” She hadn't actually. I made it for her. Now that’s pissing me the fuck off too. The fact that she had chosen him, but I had to make a deal in order to ensure she would be mine.

  “I know. I don’t poach.” James gives a dig right back.

  “It was nice running into you, James, but we need to get going.” Kennedy steps in. He should thank her for saving his life because I’m holding on to my self-control by a thread.

  “It’s always nice to see you, Kennedy.” He winks at her, and I want to pluck his eyeballs right out of his skull. “Tell your parents I said hello, Gerrit.” I try to take a step toward him to get in his face, but Kennedy stops me by stepping right in front of me as James turns to leave.

  “Don’t.” She gives me a hard look. One that goes straight to my dick. I guess James isn't as smart as I thought he was. He’d had her and lost her. Now that’s fucking stupid. “I need to get home.” She turns, trying to walk away from me. I snatch her wrist.

  “I invited you back to my place.”

  “And I’m saying no.”

  “It’s not about sex,” I growl. Sex would be nice, but I want her near me.

  Kennedy looks around. “Hush. People can hear you.” She pulls on her wrist. I don’t let go, but I do lead us out of the restaurant before pulling out my phone to call my driver.

  “I don’t give a fuck who can hear me.” I have to clear the six missed calls from my assistant. I catch Kennedy glancing at my phone before rolling her eyes. I pocket it.

  “Why don’t you want to come to my place? You don’t want to see where you’ll be living?”

  “I think we’ve spent enough time together today.” She gives me a smile that doesn't meet her eyes. Nothing like the one she gave James.

  Frustration boils inside of me, and I have no fucking clue what to do. I can’t knock her over the head and drag her back to my place like a caveman. But that’s how I’m feeling right about now.

  Connor pulls the car up, and I open the door for her. She slips into the back, and I follow. I rest my hand on her leg, and she doesn't push me away. In fact, her legs part a couple of inches.

  “How long did you date?” I ask because I’m obviously a masochist.

  “Do you really want to talk about exes? I’m sure you have way more than me.”

  “W
hy are you being like this?” I ask. Something has changed and it was before the ex showed up so I know it’s not about him. I don’t want to think about if she was in love with him. It’s like a punch to the gut.

  “How do you know that this isn’t how I always am, Gerrit? We really don’t know each other.” I grab her, pulling her into my lap. She lets out a small squeal of surprise as her hands land on my chest.

  “What are you doing?” She tries to wiggle off my lap, but I don’t let her get anywhere.

  “I know you. If you knew how well I know you it would probably scare you.” She freezes, her eyes coming to meet mine. “I know what you taste like, the breathy moans you make when you come.” I tangle my hand into her hair, pulling her down to me. “Does James know those things about you?”

  Her breath hitches, and I watch her eyes grow wider. Her pink little tongue darts out, licking her bottom lip and grazing mine in the process. She might be pissed about something, but there is no denying the pull we have toward each other. I know she can feel it too.

  “Answer me.” She shakes her head no. “I want the words, love. I want to hear them from your lips.”

  “He doesn't know what I taste like.” Her cheeks bloom into a rosy pink blush.

  “But I do. I’m the only one that will ever know,” I growl before I pull her down for a kiss, devouring her mouth. The need to mark her rides me hard. I want to erase any thoughts she has of James or any other fucker that came before me.

  When I pull back, her eyes are heavy lidded and her lips puffy from my assault. “I know you, Kennedy. In a few days I’ll know everything.” Her breath hitches as she stares into my eyes. I know she wants to say something, I can see it on her face, but she doesn't.

  “We’re here sir,” Connor says. Kennedy scrambles off my lap. I don’t stop her. I’ve pushed her far too much already. She opens the door trying to make a hurried escape and almost falling in the process. I grab her around the waist, catching her before she hurts herself.

  “Slow. You’re going to hurt yourself.” I right her on her feet.

  “Thank you.” Again the blush spreads across her cheeks. My cock grows harder thinking about how hours ago I watched it spread across her tits. Soon, I will watch it spread along her entire body as I sink balls deep into her sweet cunt.

  “You don’t have to thank me.” I reluctantly release her. I watch her as she makes her escape into the house. I want to go after her and pull out the reason she started to shut down on me, but I know I can’t. I run my hand down my face. For the first time in my life I have no fucking clue what I’m doing.

  “Sir. Emily has been calling my phone now. Says there’s an emergency at the office.” I nod. I’m starting to notice that she thinks everything is an emergency when I’m not in the office. I was always in the office before so I hadn't noticed, but these past few weeks I’ve been stepping out here and there.

  I could stand here all night and try and figure out what is wrong with my soon-to-be wife. Soon it won’t be so easy for her to make an escape from me. I’ll pull everything I want out of her. My mind starts to wander down the path of the things I could do, but I stop myself.

  “Back to the office.” I tell Connor as I give one last look toward where she fled before I get in the car. This is going to be the longest week of my life.

  But it is going to be worth it, I remind myself. Tick tock. The clock is counting down the seconds until she’s mine.

  12

  Kennedy

  My mouth still tingles as I make my way inside. I go straight up the stairs in case my parents are home, not wanting to run into either of them. I pull out my phone to text my sister to see where the hell she is and what she’s been up to.

  I’m not sure if her bailing on me today was a good thing or bad. It had given me alone time with my soon-to-be husband. Yet, I’m not sure it really enlightened me in any way to who he really is. Gerrit makes my head spin. The man is so confusing.

  My door flies open right before I grab the handle. Kinley grabs me, pulling me into my own bedroom. My eyes get round when I see Julie, Kate, and Becky standing there. All of them are done up.

  We all went to college together. We don’t hang out as much as we used to, but we still keep in contact, mostly through text. We have a group chat that keeps us all up to speed on what’s going on in each other's lives.

  “What’s happening?” I ask. Julie holds a sash that says bride-to-be on it.

  “I think you know.” My sister pulls me over to my vanity chair, making me sit down. “Did you really think we weren't going to have a bachelorette party?”

  “I mean really, Ken?” Becky says, handing me a glass of champagne. I take a sip.

  “Okay,” I agree before chugging the rest of it and handing the empty glass back to Becky, making them all cheer. “Do your best.” I sit back in the chair and let them go to town on me. It’s been too long since we’ve all gotten to hang out. With the way my head is spinning from my outing with Gerrit, a girls’ night out is exactly what I need.

  “Is this why you took off on me today?” I ask my sister.

  “Partly. You two needed some alone time, and I needed to get you this dress.” She picks up a dress, letting the hanger dangle off her finger. The top is fitted and covered in white sparkles while the bottom puffs out. It looks like it’s only going to hit mid-thigh on me. “Don’t even try it. You’re wearing it, we already voted.” I simply nod. I’m outnumbered and the dress is cute. I have to wonder what Gerrit would think of it.

  In no time, they have me ready and out the door, heading toward the restaurant for dinner. The girls all pepper me with questions about Gerrit, making me realize again how little I know about him.

  “I didn't know you were even dating,” Katie says. “And of all people Gerrit Kane. Is he always as serious as he looks?”

  “Pretty much,” I admit. From what I’ve seen of him so far, which isn't much.

  “I heard he can be a—” Becky trails off likely realizing she’s talking about my soon-to-be husband. They all think this is the real deal. I don’t want to correct them. For some reason it feels embarrassing.

  “A jerk? Asshole?” I supply. Julie almost spits out her drink. That’s what I’d heard too when I went poking around about Gerrit. That was even before I knew he was going to be my husband.

  I’ll never forget that day I’d walked into my father’s office and there sat Gerrit. He barely looked at me, but I’d been enthralled by him. It had been a shock when my parents told me that he wanted to marry me.

  “Well, is he?” Becky lifts one of her perfect eyebrows in question.

  “He put our mom in her place. It was wonderful,” Kinley answers for me.

  “I would have loved to see that,” Katie says with a laugh.

  “I haven’t been on the receiving side of his anger, but I’ve seen it towards others.” I can see why he’s gotten the reputation that he has. He doesn’t pull any punches.

  “Beth lost her shit when she found out you were getting married to Gerrit.” Julie rolls her eyes as she says it. Beth has always been a brat. I don’t know why, but all the way through school she acted like we were in some unspoken competition. I never understood it and never participated in her games.

  I thought it was over when I left high school, but there she was my freshman year of college. Somehow she’s always around, lurking in the shadows, trying to one-up me every opportunity she gets.

  “She told me that they dated a while back,” Becky chimes in. My stomach drops wishing she hadn’t told me that piece of information. Especially when it concerns Beth. I’ve never cared that she always tried to outdo me. But now when it concerns Gerrit for some reason, I find myself for the first time feeling possessive and jealous. I’d gone digging around about Gerrit that first day I’d seen him and couldn’t find anything about past girlfriends. He must keep it quiet. That could be why he wants a wife. He’s tired of hiding. A wife would be easier.

  “She’s fu
ll of shit.” Kinley gives my leg a squeeze under the table, sensing my unease. Luckily the food is dropped off at the table at the same time. I feel my phone buzz in my purse. I reach down and grab it. Before I look to see who it is, I hope that it's Gerrit. I know I shouldn’t. I shouldn't allow myself to get my hopes up when it comes to him, but I can’t help but get excited. Although he’d basically told me how our marriage will be, still I could feel myself getting attached to him. Something that I know will not end well for me.

  It hurt me to think I’d come second to him. That his real marriage would always be to his job, and that I was there for whenever he decided he had time for a wife.

  His description of how our marriage would be had given me a glimpse into the future I will have with him. One where I’ll be spending most of my time alone. The only thing I can’t understand is the fact that he left work today to come see me. Only to tell me that I better respond to his texts. Then he made me come. I’m not sure how that's supposed to get me to respond to his text messages. I have so many questions, and so many things aren’t adding up.

  My stomach flutters when I see the text is from Gerrit.

  Gerrit: I miss you.

  A smile spreads across my face, making me feel giddy. It might be the small buzz I have. I’m also a little shocked that he would actually send such a sweet text. Why is this man so confusing? I bite my lip wondering what to text back. If I don’t text back will he show up here?

  “Respond to him.” Kinley elbows me in the side.

  “What are you two whispering about over there?” All eyes turn to Kinley and me.

  “Gerrit is texting me. Said he misses me.” Ahhs fill the table.

  “That doesn’t sound like a jerk to me.” My sister quickly comes to Gerrit’s defense.

  Me: I kinda miss you too.

  Gerrit: You should have come home with me.

  Me: Maybe next time.

  I add a winky face before I slip the phone back into my purse so that I can finish having dinner with the girls. They went through the trouble of setting this up, and I don’t want to be rude. Plus, I don’t want Gerrit to think that I am at his beck and call. I’m not married to him yet. I want to enjoy this time with my friends. More drinks flow as we move from dinner to a nightclub.