Three Separations

by I J Shur

  “What are your expectations of me?” asked Rona. “What’s going to convince you that we’re here for the long run?”

  “You’ll have to demonstrate that you’re serious. I don’t have any interest in wasting your time—or mine—on coffee and worthless appointments.” He was silent for a moment and looked at her. It was clear that she understood and that she would do anything in order to gain his trust.

  “Okay, so the burden of proof is on me?” She smiled. “I love to start from this position. You’ll end up being the one chasing me for business deals. That much I’ll say and not another word. Can we get out our calendars and decide when our next meeting will be?”

  Udi liked her decisiveness and her directness, so he opened his planner. “I am all ears,” he said.

  They decided on the time of their next meeting and where it would be. Rona recorded the details in her cell phone and sent him an invitation.

  Udi innocently shook her hand and placed his left hand on her shoulder so that both of his hands were touching her. He wanted to give her the feeling that their first meeting had been important to him and that he trusted her. Rona looked into his eyes with an expression containing so many meanings that he felt as if the room were spinning in circles.

  “See you soon,” she said, and went on her way.

  Udi got into his car and started to drive. He fantasized about his upcoming meeting with the woman who had inflamed his passion.

  I’d really like to skip the formalities and just walk over to her and hug her. I’d like to do that so that the scent of her perfume will stick to my shirt all day. I’ll approach her, and my fingers will lift up her shirt and my hands will spread out over her back. I’ll squeeze her close to me and feel her breasts press against my chest. It’s true that she’s a lawyer, but first of all she’s a woman; my gambling instinct says that she won’t resist me. Her eyes were sending a clear message. I couldn’t be wrong. She’ll become addicted to my hugs, or she’ll sue me for sexual harassment.

  I’ll surprise her, and I’ll tell her that I want to trade our next business meeting, full of words, for a different kind of meeting, one without words, one that will take place in a discreet and romantic motel room somewhere. She’ll look into my eyes and draw close to me. She’ll lower her gaze, and her fingers will fumble at my belt buckle. I’ll deftly unbutton her pants and allow the palms of my hands sufficient space to glide over the small of her back and down to her tush. They’ll spread out over her soft skin, and the coolness of her flesh will make me shiver. I’ll bury my nose in her curls, I’ll breathe in her scent, and I’ll notice the personal perfume of her hair.

  Then he imagined what Rona was thinking: Something is going on with the man sitting across from me; usually men want me immediately, but this time I want him. I want him so much. Why am I finding it so difficult to read him? Or maybe he’s used to situations like this, and he’s simply enjoying trying to embarrass me? I’m always the one in charge in these situations, and I take them where I want. Now I want to devote myself to him, wanting him to take the lead. All right! Go ahead and kiss me if you like.

  I’ll flash him a provocative smile. All of a sudden, he’ll be surprised, and our eyes will meet for a long, frozen glance. “I think that we have a shy one here,” I’ll say to him as I draw close. I’ll place my arms casually around his waist, and I’ll stick my thumbs between his pants and his shirt. I’ll look into his eyes and tell him, in a protesting voice, that I’m married and that he shouldn’t even think about any kind of romantic liaison. I’ll tell him that I’ve never initiated anything like this, and that he shouldn’t be taking advantage of me just because the mere sight of him breaks down all of my defenses so quickly and leaves me standing in front of him feeling so vulnerable.

  Then Udi imagined embracing Rona, the two of them getting turned on by each other. She is most definitely feeling me, and I know, deep down inside, that her rivers are flowing. I’ll open her zipper, and with delicious deliberation, I’ll slowly slide down her pants and leave them in a heap on the floor. On my way down, my lips will touch that magical place where her legs meet, silky smooth. As I stand back up, her hands will grab hold of my pants and save me the trouble. Still close, I’ll sit on the edge of the table and grab her hips, I’ll guide her with a steady hand, and slowly—slowly—I’ll feel her warmth wrap around me.

  Udi began driving back to his office. So have I cheated just by thinking about it? He was constantly inventing new interpretations of the term. If I did the deed without emotion, without committing my heart, then the act doesn’t constitute “betrayal.” If I do it because it’s a bodily function, and as long as I don’t involve Varda in the matter, it is not a betrayal.

  Feelings of guilt flooded him. A thief traveling through the retail store of life who chooses the product “Rob a Bank” would not be surprised to discover that the price for his actions is a lengthy stay behind bars. A husband who chooses the product “Flinging Contemptuous Words in Your Wife’s Face” would find it difficult to agree to the high price of losing her love. A student who chooses “Not Taking Your Studies Seriously” would have to pay the price of low grades. A professional investor who would look at the product “Speculative Investments” might discover that the price he has to pay is the loss of his money.

  A husband who wants to take “Cheating on My Wife” off of the shelf would find it difficult to accept the horrifying price of breaking up his family.

  Life is basically one large retail store whose shelves are full of different and varied deeds, and to each product is affixed a price tag. The problem shared by us all is that we race to grab a multitude of products off of the shelves but we forget to check the price, or we only give it a quick glance, or we convince ourselves with sugar-coated phrases that everything will work itself out, that maybe we won’t have to pay in the end, or somebody else will. Maybe we will commit the sin of minimizing what it says on the price tag or convincing ourselves that “this will never happen to me” or that “this price is not too bad.” The salespeople in this retail store, merciless brutes that they are, will show up instantaneously to request the payment “as advertised,” in cash and immediately, to the last cent. We, the buyers, will lose our world.

  For most of us, something interesting will happen. On the day that we finish paying the price, if we still possess the strength, we will again show up at the retail store of life, ready with a new shopping basket and with our short memories making us forget to check the price tag again. Many good men who have learned from the reality of the price would think twice (or more) before reaching out for one of the products on the shelf.

  Udi parked his car near the entrance to his office. In his body, and in his mind, there lingered the memory of Rona. You’re in the corridors of the retail store of life, one minute before you cross the point of no return.

  Chapter 6

  On Saturday morning, Udi awoke and, as usual, brought in the newspaper. He prepared two cups of coffee, one for Varda and one for himself. He toasted two slices of bread, spreading on thick layers of avocado, liberally sprinkling sea salt, and squeezing out half a lemon. A quick thought passed through his brain: For once, I’ll prepare a piece of toast for her…or should I? I bet she’ll say she isn’t hungry, that she’d prefer some yogurt with honey and granola.

  Oren sat down at the table and asked for the sports section.

  “Good morning,” said Udi as he pushed the sports pages over.

  Oren opened the sports section wide, its pages covering the page that Udi was trying to read. If Varda did that, I’d most definitely turn the tables on her and place my page on top of hers. He pulled out the page that he had been reading and asked Oren if he wanted something to eat.

  “Make me something,” his son said, and Udi hurried to make him some weak coffee and a piece of bread spread thickly with butter and a slice of cheese on top. Michal came down the stairs as she was f
umbling to zip her pants, then she buttoned her shirt. She held a large plastic hairpin between her teeth. She hurriedly used it to gather her hair up on top of her head.

  “Good morning,” Udi said. “What can I make you?”

  “Nothing. I have an energy bar in my bag, and in the morning, I only chew gum.”

  “That’s not healthy!” Udi said, but she had already walked out the front door.

  Varda appeared, squeezed into a black leotard with pink stripes running across it.

  “I made you a piece of toast with avocado,” he announced with pride.

  “I’ll pass on that this morning,” she said. “I have to run to my Pilates class.”

  “Off you go!”

  Udi hugged Meirav, who had just come down the stairs, then left the house on his way to run errands.

  Chapter

  As Udi parked his car, he suddenly heard someone call out his name. He turned his head and was surprised to see Rona. Almost subconsciously, he scanned the area, thinking about betrayal. He quickly gauged the distance between them. A wide smile of sparkling teeth greeted him. Around her neck hung a necklace of large gold coins, and long, colorful earrings hung from her earlobes. A strong scent of jasmine greeted his nostrils. She shot a slightly shy glance in his direction that left no doubt in his mind that she felt slightly embarrassed. Udi righted his gaze and waited.

  “I made an appointment here,” she mumbled. “Well…it was on purpose. Obviously, I planned this.”

  “If you’re feeling some heat right now, it’s because you’re a liar, liar, pants on fire.” Udi said it with a mischievous smile. He felt as if he were on a shopping spree in the retail store of life—and willing to pay the price.

  “Obviously you’re feeling tense about meeting without a day planner or folder between us. You’re sweating; it’s running down your back!” Rona said affectionately. She continued, “I just wanted to see you. Now you can go about your business. The truth is that I do have an appointment that is slightly north of here. If you like, you’re invited to participate; I’ll present you as a local investor. It’s a young guy who has a great idea. Maybe it’s worth giving him a listen.” She smiled.

  “I’ll try to finish my errands quickly and join you both,” said Udi, trying not to sound too enthusiastic. “I have an important meeting later on in the day, so I hope I’ll have enough time.” He tried to avoid obviously scanning the area, but he found himself glancing around every few seconds. “So, what’s the address?”

  Chapter 7

  Udi got into his car and studied the view that spread out before him. After finishing his errands, he called Varda to say that he would be late. Then he drove to a cliff where he liked to sit and relax. He opened the windows halfway and allowed the pleasant breeze to stroke his face. He looked toward the horizon at clear turquoise skies blending into a relaxed blue sea. Slivers of golden beaches lined the edge of the water in long, rounded lines.

  His eyes lingered on the pools of the fish farm covered with screaming birds before settling on the highway, where rows and rows of creeping cars created the illusion of an endless, colorful snake. However, the peaceful tranquility that enveloped him was rudely disrupted by a rumbling and rattling from the wheels of a train passing close by, rushing on its way from north to south.

  He found himself glancing around, worrying he’d find many sets of eyes observing him. What’s wrong with me? Why am I afraid to run into a familiar face? Here I am staring the forbidden fruit right in the face! Is that it? He knew that in several moments, he would set out on a journey from which there was no return.

  He found the address on Saviyon Street without problems. He knew the street, and he even knew the home where Rona had arranged the meeting. He bounded up the three wide steps and stood opposite a heavy wooden door with large, rusty screws. He looked for a doorbell, and when he couldn’t find a button, he knocked lightly on the door. A balding man whose substantial belly peeked out of his shorts opened it. The scent of an expensive aftershave caught Udi’s nose.

  “I’m Oded.” He thrust forward a fleshy hand.

  “Pleased to meet you,” Udi replied, returning Oded’s firm and enveloping handshake.

  “Come, sit with us,” said Oded. “Rona already told me a few things about you.”

  Udi glanced at Rona and was pleased to take a mental snapshot of her sweet smile before sinking into his seat.

  “What have I missed?”

  Udi decided to direct the conversation; he didn’t want to talk about himself, and he didn’t want to waste time on small talk.

  “I told Rona about a project that I’m initiating in this area,” said Oded. “We’re talking about a half-acre property located at the center of town where some kind of public property can be built. I’m interested in building a high-end home for the elderly. It’ll provide a variety of services and solutions for senior citizens, especially for those who can afford a high standard of living. I won’t go into all of the details with you right now, but we’re talking about an investment with an especially large potential income. I need two additional investors since we’re talking about a substantial investment. One of them will have to take on a management position in the future.”

  Udi knew the numbers. He was at the height of his own investigation concerning the integration of his work with a large chain of old-age homes, and he thought that this contact was heaven-sent.

  “So what will Rona’s job be?” asked Udi.

  Oded looked at Rona. “Rona brokered this deal.”

  Udi favored Oded with a brief smile. He then looked into Rona’s eyes, and she returned the gaze, smiling. From there, his eyes darted to the window, and to the water that was reflected in it. His vision grew foggy, and for a moment he felt as though everything was possible, nothing was out of his reach. Here he was strolling between apple trees and cherry trees, and all he needed to do was reach out and eat to his heart’s content. He felt as if he were sailing along a plateau of endless magic. There was no need to look to the side or behind. Unfamiliar feelings surrounded him like scarves of silk and cashmere. He knew that if he held on to Rona’s hand, she would go with him; she wouldn’t ask where to—she would simply come.

  He thanked Oded for the offer and said that he would get back to him by the following Saturday with an answer and an offer of his own. Then he turned to Rona and told her that she was invited to his next meeting. He gave her the address, turned, and strode out with purposeful strides.

  He got into his car, started the engine, set the air conditioner, and leaned back against the headrest.

  Where the hell am I? What the hell am I doing? Can this stop here? The huge wave of his emotions crashed down onto his questions and drowned them. He put the car into gear and slowly drove toward the meeting.

  He didn’t have to wait at his destination for long. Only a few minutes after he arrived, while he was still sitting in the car mulling over his thoughts, Rona pulled in and parked behind him. Udi looked in the rearview mirror and wanted to get out of the car then and there, but an invisible hand held him tightly to his seat. Rona also stayed seated, but he knew that she was watching him. Are we both still playing the game of the business meeting, or is it clear that we crossed the line, and we’re weightlessly floating in another galaxy?

  In a minute, he decided, he’d get into her car, sit next to her, look into her eyes for a moment, and then tell her they’d had enough—they’d crossed that line. Rona would nod gravely. He imagined leaning over and kissing her cheek lightly, then wishing her a good weekend. If he did, he thought, they’d both be saved from the rapid rollercoaster ride that they sure as hell knew how to get on but didn’t know how they were going to get off.

  He got out of his car, took a few measured steps, and stood by her car’s passenger-side door. She leaned over and opened it. He got in; she looked at him. He found himself smiling, but it felt contri
ved somehow. She smiled back. He stared at the horizon, and so did she. He looked at her again, trying not to lower his gaze. She looked into his eyes and smiled shyly. The edges of her lips trembled slightly from some unseen effort.

  Chapter 8

  Udi and Rona carried on a proper discussion about the various business dealings in which they were involved. Rona asked and he replied; he asked and she answered; he commented and she noted; she rejected and he explained; she stung and he chuckled; he complimented and she blushed.

  “What comes over people who find themselves in this type of a situation?” he suddenly asked.

  “I don’t know,” she replied. “I’ve never been in one before.”

  “In my imagination, I see us embracing, kissing, holding on tight, and standing for an hour like that,” he said quietly.

  “Do you sometimes take things and move them from theory to practice?” she hesitantly asked.

  “I don’t know,” he said. “I haven’t tried.”

  Rona was silent. “If you’re looking for a guinea pig for your experiment, you’d better let me know now. There’s a chance I might volunteer.”

  “In my opinion, if it does happen, it will surely not happen now—and certainly not in a car,” he said, evading her probing eyes.

  “From the little that I know of you, I’d say that an announcement about where it will not happen will immediately be followed by an interesting proposition. So where will it happen, then?”

  Udi looked at Rona and smiled. She really has balls. She’s as embarrassed as I am. She wants it as much as I do, and she’s not planning on giving up.

  In his mind, Udi saw them running down an obstacle course: They approached the first obstacle in long, uncoordinated strides. They took a leap, and the obstacle crashed to the ground. They approached the second one more cautiously, but they knocked it gently, and it too was knocked to the ground. Above the third one, he fumbled and fell but got back up and continued. Above the fourth one, she lost her balance but recomposed herself and kept going. Then they approached the final obstacle. Things began moving in slow motion. They arrived at the obstacle together. Their right legs reached upward; their gazes faced forward. The strong sunlight enhanced the outlines of their straining muscles. They floated like a couple of snow-white horses above the obstacle and landed softly beyond it. Three more steps and they gloriously crossed the finish line.