Three Separations

by I J Shur

  “Yes, I know it too. Great place!”

  “They know my children and always ask how they are. Each visit here is a new chapter in an ongoing conversation. There’s no need to start from the beginning each time! It’s hard for me to explain, but it feels like home here to me. Believe me, I’ve been in dozens of coffee shops all over the world, but I always end up finding myself back here. I have asked myself more than once, what makes this coffee shop something special?”

  Oded paused. “How did you get such a monologue out of me? You didn’t ask a question, but all of a sudden, here I am, pouring my heart out. I always ask myself how it is that I make my way back to this place time and again. Well, there you go! I’m sharing this insight, and I may never have even had it without our meeting.”

  Udi looked at the man, examining him from his bald head to his drooping gut and all the way down to his thick legs. Compassion swept over him, and for a moment, he felt his heart ache. He had yet again made an error by prejudging someone. From the first moment that he’d met Oded, he had gotten the impression of a young businessman with a bit of a heavy appearance who was quick to make decisions, willing to try anything that he could get his hands on, who had probably trampled more than his fair share of people. Today’s meeting changed Udi’s impression. They had a friendly conversation, and Udi was pleased that he’d taken the time to talk to somebody in depth. He missed that sometimes. After a pleasant half hour, the two men parted, agreeing to meet again.

  In the car on the way home, Udi decided that after several confusing days, he needed to move up his appointment with Assaf. He made a quick phone call and found himself on his way to the meeting, his head swamped with thoughts.

  Assaf will ask how I am. I’ll have to decide which subjects I should bring up and which would be better left unsaid. I’ve wanted to talk about Rona, but for the last two months, I’ve also wanted to bring up my relationship—or should I say lack of a relationship—with Varda. And my father…who forgets lately where he is and finds himself waking up in the morning on the floor. What am I going to do with him? How am I going to cope with that?

  Chapter 24

  Assaf’s office door was shut, so Udi knocked and walked in. Assaf rose to greet him. “I’m glad to see you. Come and sit down.”

  Udi shook his hand, mumbled something about being happy to be there, and collapsed on the white sofa. Assaf looked at him and smiled widely. Udi glanced up at him out of the corner of his eye and fidgeted.

  “How are you?” Assaf asked in a soft singsong voice.

  “I’m doing great,” Udi hurried to reply.

  “What would you like to talk about today?”

  Udi knew that after those two questions (with which every session began) it would be his turn, and he would have to start pouring his heart out. He lifted his troubled gaze to meet Assaf’s eyes. Assaf turned his head sideways and arched an eyebrow quizzically.

  Udi took a deep breath. “I don’t really know whether I should talk about my affair with Rona, my relationship with my wife, or my sick father. Each of these topics is big enough for its own session—or maybe more.”

  “Which of those is weighing heaviest on your heart?” Assaf asked.

  “Rona,” said Udi. “Err…what I mean is, the affair I’m having with her.”

  “Do you want to end it?” Assaf glanced at Udi.

  “Not at all!” Udi cut him off like a child whose favorite toy had just been taken away.

  “Do you want to continue this affair?” Assaf pressed him.

  “I am not able to give her up,” Udi said decisively.

  “So what’s the problem then? Why do you want to give up on her?”

  “You don’t understand!” Udi raised his voice slightly. “I’m cheating on my wife! I’m lying to her! I look at my children and think about Rona. They tell me how their day was, and my thoughts aren’t with them but with her.”

  “What is the most difficult thing for you, then?” Assaf was not going to make things easy on him. “Is it the disintegration of the trust that you have with your wife, or is it the thought that you might have to give up Rona?”

  Udi thought for a few seconds. “I can’t give Rona up now.”

  Assaf sighed. “Look what kind of situation you have gotten yourself into. You got involved in a romantic affair where you’re in love to the extent that you’ve lost self-control. On the other hand, you judge yourself about the fact that you’re cheating on your wife. You need to decide which side is stronger and let the other one go. You’re in a situation where someone is pulling your right hand to the left and your left hand to the right. No wonder the body in the middle is hurting! If you don’t have the strength or the willpower to break it off with Rona right now, at the very least, you need to stop beating yourself up over this affair that you’re having and learn to simply live with it for the time being—at least until you can find some sort of solution.”

  Assaf grew silent. Udi digested his words and felt relief that the solution might be at hand. He could deal with Varda later.

  Chapter 25

  Early the next morning he was walking Mooshie when a text message rudely interrupted his thoughts.

  Why did you say that you love me?

  Breathing deeply, he sent back an immediate reply. Because I love you.

  Yes, but why by text message? she quickly shot back.

  Since you weren’t with me when I was feeling that way.

  Yes, but why to me at home?

  Not to your home, to your cell phone number.

  My husband read the message and I had to fire up the heavy artillery in order to convince him that it was an innocent message. For now, the coast is clear, but the large magnifying glass has been taken out of the tool cabinet, and we’re going to have to be careful.

  Hold on, I’ll call you, he replied.

  Rona voice when she answered was breathless.

  “I hope I didn’t cause irreversible damage. How did he get your phone to begin with? I’m so sorry!”

  Rona drew a deep breath. “I have two things to say to you! First of all, the words ‘I’m sorry’ take me back in a time machine over two decades to the movies: ‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry.’ But it’s nice when you do. The second thing is that you better not even think about stopping that habit of yours of expressing your love with little messages. I wanted to complain that you’re not doing it enough.”

  Udi tried, and failed, to remember the last time Varda had said she was sorry about anything.

  Chapter 26

  Udi started his Friday morning by reading the newspaper. He didn’t have any appointments set for that morning, and apart from the need to take a short drive to check on a few of his properties, the upcoming day lacked serious obligations. His eyes landed on the used-car ads for all-terrain vehicles. There weren’t a lot of offerings, but happily, he found one ad that seemed to be a pretty good deal. The vehicle was five years old and had nearly 25,000 miles on it. It was a late-model single-owner vehicle. Within minutes, he had phoned the owner and arranged to look at the vehicle. For the entire hour that the journey took, he sang along loudly to the pop music on the radio.

  The Jeep was parked at the address he’d written down. It was metallic blue, and its sides were aerodynamically flared. The tires were wider than usual and had shiny silver rims. The leather upholstery was visible through the windows, and a sparkling and somewhat threatening bumper adorned the front.

  “What do you think?” A man appeared seemingly out of nowhere. He was tall and very thin and wore a fashionable white shirt sloppily tucked into a pair of name-brand jeans. A wide black leather belt was pulled around his waist and clasped with an elliptical buckle. A pair of black leather boots peeked out from under the jeans. They ended in a long and upturned point that resembled a wicked witch’s fingernails. Udi would have preferred to buy a car f
rom a woman or from a man much older than this strutting peacock who had suddenly appeared before him. His name was Leonard, and it was as if he could read Udi’s mind.

  “The Jeep belongs to my girlfriend. We hardly ever get the chance to use it.”

  “Can I get in and see it from the inside?”

  Udi sat in the driver’s seat and grabbed the steering wheel. Round, ball-like gauges sprouted from the dashboard. Leonard joined him, and Udi fired up the engine. A roar broke the silence and made Udi’s heart jump. As Udi took a test drive, Leonard told him that he owned a furniture business and had bought the Jeep for his girlfriend, but she preferred to have a small car that was easier to drive around town. As Leonard talked, Udi imagined driving on country roads in this beast of a vehicle, and he also saw himself off-roading. His heart surged with pride.

  “Can I come over here tomorrow with the rest of my family to show it to them?”

  When he got home, he told Varda that he’d looked at a Jeep.

  “That doesn’t excite me in any way,” she said, “but I don’t mind going over to see it.”

  Chapter 27

  Early Sunday morning, Udi took Mooshie for a walk. Something in the air and in the silence separated this hour from other hours of the week and made him feel calm. When he got home, he went up to the children’s rooms.

  “Why do we have to wake up early on a Sunday?” He heard the familiar complaint from each of them.

  When he got them all seated around the breakfast table, Udi reminded them that they had made plans to go on a hike with their friends Sam and Ella.

  “Why do we always have to take hikes?” Oren was furious. He didn’t even glance up from his Game Boy.

  Udi exchanged glances with Varda, who was drinking coffee. They were well used to the grievances of Sunday morning breakfast.

  “We’ll have a talk about it at the end of the day. As usual, you’ll have a great time and you’ll come home happy, but before that, you’ve got to complain. It’s okay. I’m used to it.”

  After driving for an hour, Udi stopped the car on a small street next to the fancy Jeep. Leonard, who had already been outside waiting for a few minutes, stood next to it. Udi introduced his wife and children.

  “Daddy, do we have enough money to buy something like this?” Michal asked as she stroked the blue metal.

  “Would you like to take a ride in it?” he asked.

  “Are you kidding? My friends won’t believe that we own something like this, even if they see it parked by our house.”

  “What do you say, love?” Udi turned to Varda.

  “It’s impressive,” she said, adding in a whisper that she didn’t like the seller, and that Udi had better take the Jeep somewhere to get it checked before they bought it.

  The general feeling among his family was that they were going to buy the Jeep. Udi was overjoyed. They said goodbye to Leonard, and Udi told him that he’d be in touch.

  Udi felt exhilarated as he drove away. Then, his cell phone vibrated from his shirt pocket. He quickly took the phone out, glanced at the screen, and was happy to see that the text was from Rona.

  If we don’t meet tonight, I am going to have to admit myself to the emergency room, because I think that I have run out of oxygen.

  Udi looked at his wife and was glad to see that her eyes were shut. As he averted his gaze from the road to his phone, he managed to send a reply in which he promised that he’d be in touch later in the evening.

  “Who are you texting?” His wife’s voice broke the silence even though her eyes were still closed.

  Although his heart had skipped a beat, Udi tried to make his voice sound as neutral as possible. “Victor wanted to know if I could meet with him tonight, so I told him that I’ll try to call him if we get back early enough. Would that be a problem for you?”

  “Definitely not,” Varda said. “I’m going to be so tired by then that I’ll probably collapse right on the bed as soon as we get home. Go out and have a good time.”

  When they got to the hiking trail, Udi parked and said, “We’re here!”

  The children stretched in their seats and unenthusiastically took off their headphones. The friends they were hiking with, Ella and Sam, had already arrived. They were suited up, carrying their hiking equipment and raring to go. They exchanged pleasantries as they hiked and talked to each other about how their lives were going.

  The hike passed uneventfully as the children made their way through shallow running water, jumping from rock to rock. They spent close to an hour following the progress of a green praying mantis that jumped from side to side like a dizzy drunkard.

  The hike came to an end at the car park.

  “See you next time!” Udi called out and waved, thinking of Rona and wondering what she was doing now.

  Udi hoped that the traffic would not be too heavy on the way home, but he lost his patience, cursing continuously when they ran into several traffic jams on the old highway.

  When they arrived home, he unpacked the car and took all of the equipment inside. He said a perfunctory “good night” to each of the children, undressed, and got in the shower. Losing himself in the stream of hot water that caressed him sent him to seventh heaven. He began to fantasize about the liaison soon to happen, and his heart threatened to beat its way out of his chest.

  Chapter 28

  As he held on to the steering wheel with his right hand, he texted Rona with his left to say that he was on his way. Several tense minutes went by before the screen lit up. Meet me at the Indian Pub. I’m here with a friend. We’re waiting for you.

  Udi didn’t think it was appropriate to include somebody else in their big secret, and he felt that Rona was taking a sizeable and unnecessary risk. However, he felt that he didn’t have any choice but to accept her decision.

  A young, slim man greeted him as he walked into the pub. A flowing, nearly transparent, collarless white shirt was draped over his gaunt frame, and an airy pair of pants billowed over his stick legs. His bare feet drummed on colorful straw mats that adorned the floors. Udi was asked to leave his shoes at the entrance. Pink and orange lights showed Udi the way, and a sweet smell of incense tickled his nostrils. On soft white pillows, scattered this way and that, were the soles of bare feet. Unmoving torsos were attached to faces that chatted with each other. Metallic sounds mixed with the sound of singing women filled the air. Waitresses dressed in Indian garb moved between the reclining people. They held round trays and carried different types of tea, light salads, and oily slices of Indian bread, some topped with pieces of meat.

  All of a sudden, a long arm reached out to him from a distance. He went over to Rona, who lay on a mattress. All he wanted to do was hold her…in the way young lovers would. Next to Rona lay a tall, thin woman with an Afro hairstyle.

  “Hi, sweetie!” Rona smiled. “This is my friend Adi. Consider yourself introduced.”

  Udi shook Adi’s rough, emaciated hand.

  “You can take a seat.”

  Udi arranged a pillow for himself and sat next to them.

  “Adi wanted to see you because I won’t stop talking about you. We decided to take a chance and come together.”

  “If she doesn’t like me, will you consider her opinion?”

  “You can relax,” Adi said quickly. “If I had seen you walking down the street on your own, I would have taken you for myself.”

  Rona kissed him on the lips, and he hugged her so hard that she had to push him off—although with a grin. “Hey, let me breathe. Don’t hog all the air here.”

  His heart beat fast. Udi was convinced that this feeling was love. It must be love! It is love!

  “I love her—I really love her,” he said to Adi. He needed to hear himself saying that, and not just to Rona. When Rona looked at him, he felt that he was melting. He pulled her close, and for a long moment, he buried his fac
e in her hair.

  “You guys look wonderful together,” said Adi.

  It’s not something that can be taken for granted when a woman discusses her man in such glowing terms with a girlfriend. He had seen, on too many occasions, how jealousy could rear its ugly head with enough force and negative energy to destroy long-standing friendships, but that was not the case here. Adi clearly had Rona’s best interests at heart.

  “Let’s order something,” he said.

  Rona ordered a Shandy, Adi wanted a glass of semi dry white wine, and he stayed loyal to his pint of draft. He also ordered a cheese platter. Udi and Rona held hands the entire time, even when the cheese platter arrived. He fed her and kissed her. She was totally into him.

  After about an hour, Adi said, “Let’s finish up here and go. Pretty soon I’ll have to pay the babysitter triple digits.”

  “We came together and we need to leave together,” Rona explained. “Adi is my excuse.”

  “I see,” said Udi. And then, “I’m crazy about you.”

  “Watch your mouth.” She giggled. “People will start spreading rumors about us and talk about me,” she said before they parted with another kiss.

  “Take care of her,” he said to Adi before giving her a kiss on the cheek.

  “No sweat. That’s what we do,” she said.

  Chapter 29

  On Monday morning, Udi called Oded and asked to meet him. He liked the deal he had been offered but found it hard to focus on anything other than his new love.

  “Look, Oded,” he said as they were drinking coffee. “I’ve thought a lot about it, and despite the potential, I still need a little more time to mull things over. Besides, I don’t have the available liquidity at the moment.”

  “I’m sorry if I seem disappointed, but I am,” said Oded. “I thought we had a little something going here.”

  Udi was afraid of such an answer. He thought it might not be wise to get into a venture with Oded considering that the romance with Rona had taken control of his thoughts and his energy. He didn’t think he’d have the strength to manage such a situation.