In the Shadows

by Jill Nolan

  After a while, I get lost in the fire, and my mind settles.

  When I snap out of it, who knows how much later, I decide it's time to call it a night.

  I slide open the side door, but before I can step inside, the vampire is there, his arm blocking my way. I manage to only yelp instead of scream.

  "You weren't going to go inside without inviting me in, were you?" He asks, cocking his head to the side, a devious smirk on his face.

  I try to knock down his arm to get through the door, but he wraps his arms around me instead, bringing my back into his chest. I squirm, unable to fight back with my arms pinned to my sides. I go still when I feel him hard against my ass.

  My focus immediately turns to his lips as they lightly touch down at the base of my neck, gently grazing the skin up my neck. I try not to moan at the sensation, while distantly worried that he'll bite me.

  "What are you doing here?" I ask, my stomach in knots of desire and a tinge of fear. I'm 95% sure he won't hurt me, but he still looks and acts menacing as hell.

  "I'm here to keep you safe." His lips move up to my ear. "There's all kinds of dangerous creatures that hunt in the night."

  I shiver slightly at the sensation of his breath on my ear, and that small shiver travels all the way down to my core.

  I still feel the urge to fight him, so I try to break his hold on me. All of a sudden, his arms release me, and I run into the house. I look at him on my porch as I rest my hand on the door. I know I should close the door. I should. But I don't want this to be over.

  "Invite me in?” he asks as he smiles devilishly. I look at those two sharp fangs in that big, beautiful smile. I look at those black, demon eyes glued to me.

  With more boldness than I normally possess, I take a step outside, coming face to face with him. "No," I say. But my eyes dare him to make me. His strength, his power, the destruction that he could cause thrills me, and I know it shouldn't. Right now, I don't care about shoulds and shouldn'ts.

  Mason grabs my hips and pulls me into him. One hand goes to cup my face, and he kisses me hard. All I know is him and his lips against mine, and I want more.

  His hand grabs my hair, forcing my head back. "Invite me in," he commands.

  "Come in," I say, breathless.

  He picks me up, and I wrap my legs around him. I kiss him, sliding my tongue into his mouth as he closes the door with his foot. As he navigates his way to the stairs, I kiss his neck, nibble on his ear lobe, and then I bite down on it. Hard, but not too hard. He growls in response and slams my back into the nearest wall.

  I look the monster in the eyes and see the desire for me burning in those black pits. He lips descend on mine, his tongue claiming my mouth, his hands claiming my body. I let him have it while silently begging him to take more of me.

  He drops my legs, and as soon as my feet touch the floor, he bends down and throws me over his shoulder, carrying me up the stairs to my room. He throws me down on my bed, and then he's on top of me, kissing me. I thread my fingers through his hair and pull him into me, kissing him back with the same amount of passion. I can't get enough him, the weight of him on me, how his body feels against mine, the way he throws me around.

  His hands massage down my hips, butt, and thighs. He works in to my inner thighs, just barely avoiding the area I most want his touch. He's teasing me. And it's working. I need more.

  I push him away from me, wanting to take my shirt off, wanting less barriers between us. He stops kissing me but refuses to let me sit up.

  "You going to uninvite me?" he dares me, as his fingers finally brush against that sensitive area. I moan in response.

  I know I won't be able to uninvite him tonight. I'm all out of self-control. I'm sure shame will come in the morning, but it's gone for the night.

  "Maybe," I say, pushing against him again. He lets me sit up this time, and I pull my shirt off and throw it on the ground. I pull him back to me, kissing him desperately.

  He stops teasing me, his fingers now rubbing right where I want them. I know I could come so easily from this, but I want him inside me. But how to tell him?

  Before I think better of it or get too shy, I break our kiss again and pull off my shorts and panties, laying myself bare for him.

  He takes his time, looking at my body. I love the hunger in his eyes as he takes me in. He stands off the bed and his wings open fully. He takes off his shorts, standing naked before me. His body really is beautiful, even with the scars and the monster attributes.

  He crawls back over me, lowering himself on me and kissing me deeply. I open my legs for him, and he settles himself in between. I gasp as I feel him push into me. He moves in and out, slowly at first. It feels good, but it's not enough. I need more of him, faster, harder, all of it. I grab his butt and pull him toward me while angling my hips better. Then I bite his shoulder, and he growls and thrusts into me harder and faster, while I move along with him.

  I feel an orgasm building up from the foreplay, from the friction. Expertly sensing what I need, he moves into a kneeling position as his fingers work my clit. I arch my back in pleasure and close my eyes. I lift my body off the bed and push myself against him each time he thrusts into me.

  I throw my head back as the intensity builds and I lose myself in the feeling. My body moves of its own volition; my moaning grows louder; our bodies slam into each other harder.

  I come, loudly, and collapse on the bed, no longer able to hold myself up.

  He continues moving on top of me while I try to recover from my orgasm, everything feeling hyper-sensitive. A few seconds later, he comes into me with a low groan.

  He collapses on top of me, still inside of me. Both of us are breathing hard.

  For the first minute or so, I have no thoughts, just a feeling of ecstasy.

  I look at the wings now spread limply across the bed, effectively trapping me beneath this monster. I reach out my hand and explore where the wings connect to his shoulder blades. His skin is incredibly smooth, but the skin changes starting at the base of the wings; it becomes thicker, more leathery. I touch the bone and muscle of the wings, which is a little weird, because it's almost like a second set of small arms. Admittedly, it's kind of cool. I touch the thin part of the wings, which is a lot thicker than it looks, but with that same leathery feel.

  I'm going to regret this in the morning. I should be regretting this already, but... I don't.

  He may not be quite the evil creature I thought he was at first, but he's still a monster.

  A beautiful monster.

  Who didn't use a condom.

  Shit.

  My IUD will protect against pregnancy…unless he’s got some sort of vampire super sperm. But since vampires are typically thought of as being sterile and dead, I don’t think I have to worry about that.

  Dead.

  Could he really be dead? Or is that just a myth? I probably should have asked that before I let this happen. How did I let this happen? Did I just sleep with an old, dead guy?

  I need to figure out if there’s a chance he has an STD. Or multiple STDs. Or some kind of STD from the Middle Ages. Or the fucking plague.

  Great, so I’ll probably get some obscure disease that no one’s ever seen or knows how to treat, I’ll die a horrible death, and the whole time I’ll be wishing he just drained me in the first place. Fucking great.

  He shifts off of me to lay on his side with his head propped up on one hand. His wings fold up at his back. Feeling exposed, I pull up the sheet to cover our naked bodies.

  "You didn't wear a condom."

  He shifts his weight on his elbows and looks down at me. "I'm clean."

  “Have you been tested recently? I mean, I've seen you with multiple girls in the last month alone.”

  “Yes, I've been tested recently. And I wore condoms with them.”

  I start to relax. Okay, he's clean. He didn't pass anything on to me. I'm good. I hope.

  "Why didn't you wear one with me?"

  "Becau
se I would have sensed if you had anything, and I felt your IUD the other night."

  "Good to know... I guess. Do you have to go to a special doctor?"

  "As it turns out, I do not."

  "Are you dead?"

  "You do know the definition of dead?"

  His teasing brings a small smile to my face. "Undead or whatever."

  “You didn’t notice anything that might answer that?”

  Oh my God, is he talking about his boner? Like because he gets blood there, there must be a heart pumping his blood? I blush, not at all sure how to answer.

  He laughs at my reaction, his smile brightening up his face, transforming his features, making him less intimidating.

  “You didn't feel a heartbeat?”

  Oh. So, it’s just my mind in the gutter. Right, duh. I had my hands on his chest, his neck. If I thought of it, I probably could have felt if there was a heartbeat, but I wasn't exactly paying attention.

  “So, do you have…a beating heart?”

  “Only one way to find out.” He smiles at me again, putting butterflies in my belly and bad thoughts in my head. I mean, I’m already thinking about his boner. What is wrong with me?

  “Well, another way would be if you just told me…”

  “You’ll have to figure it out on your own,” he teases.

  I have to know. I have to know if I just had sex with a dead man or dead vampire or whatever. I reach out my hand to find the pulse in his neck. He grabs my hand.

  “Are you checking my pulse?”

  “Yeah, I thought that was the point.”

  “You wanted to know if I had a heartbeat.”

  “A pulse would tell me that your heart’s pumping blood through your body.”

  “Or it would tell you that blood is being pumped, but not necessarily by my heart.”

  “I don’t think that makes physiological sense…” Unless vampire bodies work differently. Unless there’s magic involved. Magic. That’s a-whole-nother can of worms. I give him a skeptical look.

  "Come here." He motions me into his arms, and I scoot closer. He wraps his arms around me, placing my head against his chest. I don't even try to listen for a beat; I'm too caught up in the intimacy of him holding me and how good our naked bodies feel together. I snap out of it and listen, breathing a sigh of relief when I feel the steady beat. He’s alive.

  I have so many more questions, but I don't want to break this moment. We lay there like that for precious few minutes, until he gently disentangles himself from me and gets out of bed. I do nothing but stare at him as he walks away, admiring his muscular ass...until he covers it up with his shorts. Those black shorts fit him perfectly; they go to mid-thigh and are fairly tight, highlighting his ripped thighs.

  "Are you leaving?" I ask, confused and holding my breath for his answer. I don't want him to go yet.

  "Your roommate is back."

  I picture her finding out what I've just done, and shame tears through my contentment like Mason tore through so many victims.

  I start to panic that she'll somehow see him leaving my balcony, even though the driveway is on the other side of the house. Unless she's already in the house...but I would have heard her come in. I think.

  I look up at Mason, who has his hand on the balcony door. His eyes narrow at me as he simply says, "Soon," before leaving me alone in my room.

  Chapter 23

  Sure enough, during the light of day, thinking with a clear head, the guilt and shame come back.

  He killed a friend of a friend; he killed Allison's boyfriend's dad; he's killed so many people, and he'll continue to kill so many more. And for what? To prolong his life. But how long has he already been living? I should have asked that.

  Every new moon, every full moon.

  That's twice a month. If Girlpuncher was right about his hunting schedule, that's 26 people a year. How old is he? How many people have died so he could live? And I slept with that killer, that monster. I shouldn’t have invited him in. I shouldn’t have let it get so far.

  Somehow, a small part of me doesn’t regret it at all. That part of me wants it to happen again.

  What is wrong with me? That can’t happen again. No, it cannot.

  It’s okay, though. So what? I made a stupid decision. I was drunk, not thinking straight.

  Except that I wasn’t drunk. Maybe a little tipsy. My judgement was severely impaired for sure, but I knew what I was doing. I knew it was a bad idea; I knew I shouldn’t do it. I just didn’t care. I wanted what I wanted, and I got it.

  This is ridiculous. I can’t get him out of my head. I really need to try harder. It was only sex. It didn’t mean anything. Not to him and not to me.

  It's not like I know him well enough to have feelings. How could I ever have feelings for a vampire? Okay, fine, I have severe crushes on two fictional tv vampires. It's a little different with a real vampire killing real people right in front of me.

  He’s a compete mystery, though, and I want to find out more about him, about the supernatural world, assuming there is one.

  But still, it feels like there is something there. Between us. Some weird chemistry. It must be passion. And passion doesn’t make for good relationships; it makes for bad decisions. Last night: case and point.

  Who cares, though? I’m young and am allowed to make a few bad decisions, right? I’m in college, where you’re supposed to be exploring your sexuality. I just happen to be exploring it with a vampire.

  So, I already did it; it's done. Is there really a good reason to not do it anymore?

  Yes, there are a million good reasons to not do it anymore. Beginning with the fact that he’s a vampire and a murderer who lets his victims' families just think they're missing.

  Exasperated, I head downstairs to hang out with Allison.

  ◆◆◆

  The sun is setting, leaving an orange glow on the floors. I lay on my bed with a book in my hands while Allison gets ready for her date, but in actuality, I have barely read more than a few pages. My head is full of battling thoughts and feelings, like a warzone between different parts of me.

  Still, I know what I have to do if he comes here. Allison had the news on earlier. They talked about the missing girl from over a month ago. They put her picture on the screen, showed her family pleading with anyone who knew anything to come forward. The guilt twisted inside me enough that I knew I couldn't let myself sleep with him again.

  The worst part is, it will still be hard to deny him, because for whatever sick reason, I still want him. I've never been with anyone like him. He makes me feel alive, and the way he makes me come...

  I just have to keep a straight head.

  "Tom's here; I'm leaving," Allison shouts from downstairs.

  "Alright, see you later," I yell back.

  "Later."

  I hear the front door shut. Did she lock it behind her? Probably not.

  Mason walked out of here last night, without me uninviting him, so technically, he could just come in...which is why I go to lock the doors immediately. Also, I don't want to get frickin’ kidnapped again.

  I lock both the front and patio doors, and I know my balcony door is already locked. I walk back to my bedroom, not sure what I'm doing for the night yet. Probably a movie night. Again.

  I go to flip the light switch in my dark bedroom, but it's already up. Did the bulb burn out? I look to the overhead light, seeing four bulbs that couldn't have all burnt out at the same time.

  "Trying to keep me out?"

  I jump, a soft yelp slipping past my lips. Mason leans against the wall casually to my left, his wings tucked behind him.

  I swallow, trying not to let his presence affect me.

  "What are you doing here?"

  "I'm here for you."

  Despite my resolve to not let what happened last night happen again, his words put butterflies in my lower belly. I can't bring myself to tell him to leave. Not yet. He's still far enough away from me. I can at least get more information
out of him.

  My eyes drift down to his scars. “Your scars, are they from before?”

  “Some of them. I heal quickly, but I still scar.”

  "So, garlic, silver, crosses, sunlight – none of that works against vampires? What does?"

  "I'm not going to answer that. I'd rather you didn't know how to kill me."

  "That's not what I meant..."

  He says nothing, just watches me.

  "How old are you?" I ask, half dreading the answer.

  "Twenty-five."

  I huff. "How long have you been twenty-five?"

  "Let's see..." He looks up like he's counting. Dear God, how many years is he counting? "For about twenty-five years now."

  I shake my head, trying not to smile. Smartass. "You haven't—" I take a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. "How long have you been a vampire?"

  "Ten years."

  "So, you're, like, frozen at fifteen for eternity?" I ask dumbly, before I realize there's no way Mason is fifteen.

  "Do I look fifteen?” he asks, offended. “As far as I know, I'm mortal; I age the same as any human."

  A mortal vampire? Weird. "Are all vampires mortal?"

  "True immortality is rare. Many vampires do have long lives, but everyone has an expiration date. Are you disappointed I'm not older than your great-grandfather?"

  "No, I'm thinking it makes sense that you're not that old. You'd probably be wiser or something..."

  His eyes turn predatory. "You think it's smart to tease a vampire?" He walks up to me while my body responds immediately. Fear, expectation, excitement, arousal. I have to get control of myself. "You are right though." He grasps my arms and slams me into the wall, trapping me. He stares into my eyes as he says, "If I were wiser, I would stay away from you."

  "I expected you to say something more menacing, like if you were wiser, you'd have killed me."

  His head dips to my neck, but he doesn't actually touch me. He brings his mouth up to my ear. "That's also true."

  His mouth moves to my lips, but before he can touch them, I turn my head. I can feel my panties soaking wet, and if he kisses me, I know I'll lose all self-control. Why is it so frickin’ hard to deny him?