Bad Best Friend

by Rachel Vail

I followed her to the linen closet while my friends tried to peel off their jackets and boots in the mudroom. Mom grabbed fluffy towels from the shelf where they were all rolled neatly, and loaded them into my arms. “Thanks,” I said. “This is perfect. I hope it’s okay that I brought everybody. . . .”

  “Listen to me,” she whispered. “I want you to know this: You don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to seem perfect. I’m not. Daddy’s not. Danny’s not. We’re all very not. I like things to look nice. It’s not because I want to hide reality. It’s because, well, it calms me down and makes me happy, when things look pretty. It’s not that I’m ashamed of what’s underneath. I love what’s underneath. We’re all perfectly imperfect and if anybody is judgy about any of us, well, that’s on them. They can just keep that all the way to themselves. I think you’re . . .”

  “A soaking mess?” I didn’t want her to say she thought I was the finest kind. The finest kind is too much to live up to.

  “Well,” Mom said. “An awesome soaking mess. How’s that?”

  “Okay,” I said. “Great, actually.”

  “Ava didn’t want to join you?”

  I took a deep breath. “Ava’s going through some stuff lately,” I said.

  “Aren’t we all,” Mom said.

  I looked her in the eye. I nodded a little. She nodded too.

  She tucked my hair behind my ear, then gave me a kiss on my forehead. “Why don’t you give those out. Should I make some hot chocolate?”

  “That would be great,” I said.

  “Good.”

  Dad rushed in from the family room while we were all toweling off. “You’re home.”

  “Ayuh,” I said.

  “Did you have fun?”

  “We did,” I said, realizing it was true.

  “Good, because you’re never leaving the house again.”

  “Dad,” I said.

  He held out his arms for a hug. I leaned my head against his chest and felt him close around me, all fleece and warmth.

  “Oooo, I should text my parents,” Nadine said.

  “Me too,” said Beth.

  “Me three,” said Holly.

  “Absolutely,” Dad said. The thunder kaboomed and we all, except Dad, jumped.

  “Yikes!” Beth yelled.

  “Right?” He opened his arms and let me go. “And you girls were all out there in it. How do you think your parents feel, hearing that wind and rain and all?”

  “My phone died,” Beth said meekly.

  “You wanna know the parents’ prayer?” Dad asked, running his hand through his thinning hair. “It’s all of four letters long. BE OK. That’s it. That’s all we really want, at the end of the day. We breathe it in and breathe it out every second since you stinkers are born. BE OK. BE OK. That’ll be enough. Be OK.”

  “Dad!”

  Dad looked up at the ceiling and blinked a few times. Nadine put her hand over her heart.

  “Who’s hungry?” Dad asked, extra loud.

  “Do you have ramekins?” Holly asked.

  “I think I might,” Dad said, and cleared his throat. “Come look with me. After you call your parents. All of you! Niki, check your phone, huh? I think it’s off?”

  “It is,” I said, fishing it out of my bag and powering it up. “Beth, you wanna use mine?” A ton of texts crowded my screen. I got rid of them so she could text her dad.

  “Do it now,” Dad said, on his way to the kitchen. “Right now!”

  “Your dad is such a moosh,” Nadine whispered to me. “I adore him.”

  “Your family is so great,” Beth said, looking up from texting on my phone. “Oh, my dad says it’s fine I’m here and he’s glad I’m safe. What’s with the dads, today?”

  “Barometric pressure affects dads a lot, maybe,” Nadine said. “Got the okay from my parents too. They’re putting masking tape on the windows, for some reason.”

  “Oh, mine do that too, in storms,” Beth said.

  “Wanna see my room?” I asked them, taking my phone back from Beth. “It might be a mess, but you can plug in your phone and use the bathroom or whatever you want.”

  “Great, thanks,” Beth said. On the way up, we passed Danny’s motto poster. “Be clam?” she asked.

  “Family goals,” I said.

  Danny was in his room, not playing a game but digging through his closet. He poked his head out and smiled at me.

  “Niki,” he said. “I’m glad you didn’t get hit by lightning and die.”

  “Me too,” I said. “This is Danny, my brother.”

  Nadine and Beth said hi to him, but Danny was still looking right at me. “If you died, it would break my heart.”

  “Awww,” Beth said. “You’re the nicest brother! I bet my brother would be psyched if I got hit by lightning.”

  “You might be wrong,” Danny said. “It’s hard to know what other people are feeling. You have to watch their body language.”

  “So true,” Beth said. “Thanks, Danny.”

  “But maybe you and your brother aren’t as close as me and Niki. We’re best friends.”

  “That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard,” Nadine said.

  “I have excellent hearing,” Danny said. “But also I get headaches with big changes in barometric pressure, so I stayed home from school today.”

  “Do you still have a headache?” Beth asked. Which was so nice. Instead of being like, what the heck kind of conversational shift is that, they just went with it.

  “No,” he said. “My eyes are sensitive to light. I might be on the spectrum. So I might get a life coach for help with organization and social skills. Also, I was in the newspaper.”

  “Yeah, Danny, what?” I said. “You were? I just heard about that!”

  “Me too. Boone sent me a link yesterday. Boone is my best friend in school. Niki is my best friend in the world.”

  “That’s so cool, that you were in the newspaper,” Beth said. “For what?”

  “The garbage collectors came to my birthday party. The newspaper found out about it and they asked if we had any pictures and if we gave permission for them to write a story about it. They thought I might be embarrassed because none of the kids in my grade except Boone came to my party, but I wasn’t embarrassed. I only gave out some of the invitations, not all of them.”

  “You what?” I asked.

  “A lot of the kids in my grade don’t like me, so why would I want them at my birthday? A birthday party is to celebrate that the person was born. Boone is happy I was born. And some of the other kids might be, but they didn’t come, so I guess not. The garbage guys are happy I was born. One of them is afraid I will beat him up, but I never would.”

  “So, it got into the newspaper?” Holly asked, behind us in the hall.

  “Yes,” Danny said. “I’m famous now. And so is Niki, because it says ‘photo credit, Niki Ames’ in very small print under the picture she took of me with my friends the garbage guys. But she is not as famous as I am.” He smiled huge. “Mom sent it to the paper, but she didn’t know if they’d print it. She’s proud I’m famous, and also that Niki is, but less than me.”

  “That’s awesome, Danny,” Holly said.

  “Yes,” Danny said. “Boone is putting it in a frame to give me as a present, even though he already gave me another present, which was a game. Now I have to look for flashlights, in case we lose power in the storm.”

  He turned around and went back into his room, where his DANNY balloons were bobbling near his window. “I like your balloons,” Beth called after him. “Those are the best kind.”

  “They don’t pop!” Danny yelled back.

  “I know, that other kind makes me so anxious,” Beth said. “I keep waiting for the BOOM. Plus, these last longer.”

  “I know,” Danny said. “Until
they get wrinkly and low and then Niki stabs them with a knife.”

  “You brute!” Nadine yelled at me.

  Danny laughed. “You brute!” he echoed.

  “I’m a monster, I know,” I admitted as we went into my room. “I didn’t realize he knew I stabbed his balloons last year,” I whispered. “I thought I was so stealth. Anyway, that’s Danny.” I plugged my phone in.

  “He’s adorable,” Beth said.

  “Yeah,” I said, “he is, right? I mean, he’s not your average . . .”

  “Exactly!” Holly said. “Unique in all the world, and completely at home in his own self.”

  I nodded. “I could learn a lot from him.”

  “Seriously, who couldn’t,” Nadine said. “Well, from everybody, right?”

  “Ms. Andry, especially,” Holly said. “How goals is she? She just has no use for anyone’s nonsense. I love her.”

  “Same,” I said.

  We sat on my floor and started discussing which teachers were goals and which were pitfalls, when Beth’s phone revived itself and started buzzing nonstop.

  We all checked our phones, sitting on my floor in comfortable, if still slightly damp, silence.

  I had missed a series of texts from Isabel:

  Hey me and Britney and Madeleine are at Scoops with Kallista and my cousin Rhys, who is your biggest fan

  We’re boarding up the windows so they don’t get smashed in the storm

  Just finished so now as a prize guess what we’re eating

  Niki Specials—so good!

  Bet you know what that is, right?

  OMG best thing we’ve ever eaten, Madeleine is moaning with happiness

  Kallista wants to know if it’s okay with you if we make you famous and call them that officially?

  The Niki Special—on the sign at Scoops! You’ve hit the BIG TIME!

  I glanced over at Nadine and Beth, who were done with their phones and had moved on to looking at my bookcase, fangirling over all my favorites, calling out one title after another and shrieking at how good that one was, or this one.

  I quickly texted back to Isabel:

  That is the sweetest and being famous would be amazing not gonna lie it’s my secret life goal but honestly would it be okay if we call it the Rhys Special? He is the genius behind it, after all.

  She texted back a string of hearts, and then:

  Isabel: Did you hear what Milo said to Chase? I don’t know if he’s in love with you or just a really good guy, but—swooooon.

  I was texting her a bunch of ???s when another text came in.

  Milo: Did you make it home in the hurricane?

  I saw your bike still there when we left but Robby said you already left

  Sorry to text again but we waited awhile to see if you were there but

  me: Yeah, home safe and sound

  Milo: Phew

  Should I ask him what he said to Chase?

  How about you and Robby? I responded instead, like we were polite pretend-adults. Safe and sound?

  Milo: Well, Robby is good he didn’t skid off the road

  WHAT, I texted back quickly

  “You okay?” Holly asked me. “Your face has gone through pretty much every emotion in the past forty-five seconds.”

  I laughed. “I think Milo might have gotten into a bike accident. He’s—hang on.”

  “Don’t they live next door to you?” Beth asked.

  “Cocoa!” Mom called from the kitchen. “And Dad found the ramekins!”

  “Okay!” I yelled back.

  Left bits of my right eyebrow on Victory, but other than that, I should be okay, Milo texted.

  “Something disgusting?” Holly asked.

  “Yeah,” I said. “Is my face that obvious a window into my feelings?”

  All three of them nodded. “You’re the most expressive person,” Holly said. “It’s kind of the thing about you.”

  “That’s the thing about me?”

  “That you have big, deep, very obvious soul-shaking feelings?” Holly said. “Yeah, kind of.”

  “I thought I was invisible and mysterious!”

  They all cracked up.

  “Or at least blurry.”

  “Nope, you’re completely specific,” Nadine said.

  “So is Milo okay?” Beth asked.

  “Scraped up, sounds like,” I said. “His face, maybe?”

  “Ew!” Beth said.

  “Yikes,” said Nadine. “His face?”

  “His eyebrow, he said.” I tried not to frown.

  “Maybe I’ll finally be able to tell them apart,” Beth said.

  “That would be a benefit,” Nadine said.

  “Niki can tell them apart,” Holly said. They both looked at me for confirmation. “To be fair she lives next door, so . . .”

  We started heading downstairs to the kitchen.

  “Or maybe he got in a fistfight with Chase,” Nadine said on our way. “They sure were arguing, under the We Are All Friends sign, right?”

  “We must’ve just missed that,” Holly said.

  “I don’t think Milo would be in a fistfight,” Beth said. “You don’t think Chase punched him and he’s just making up a bike accident to cover, do you?”

  “Why was he fighting with Chase?” I asked.

  They all smiled at me like, Really?

  “What?”

  “Because of what Chase . . .” Beth started.

  “How he kissed you without your permission,” Nadine said. “Milo was really calling him some choice names. That was Milo, right? It might’ve been Robby.”

  Holly nodded. “I guarantee it was Milo.”

  “He did?” I asked. “Aren’t he and Robby, like, best friends with Chase?”

  “I guess not anymore,” Beth said.

  Holly turned to me. “Maybe you should see if they want to come over to make molten chocolate cakes.”

  “Yeah?” I said.

  She shrugged. “Don’t you want to?”

  I smiled a bit. “Sort of?”

  “Then you should!”

  Mom had set out mugs of cocoa for all of us. “Thanks,” I said. “Hey, is it okay if I invite Milo and Robby over too?”

  “Of course,” Mom said. “There’s room for everyone!”

  “I like this ark better than the other kind,” Holly said. “Don’t you?”

  “So much better,” I said, hugging the warm mug between my chilled hands.

  43

  MILO’S RIGHT EYE was a bit bruised and swollen, and a shallow cut sliced his eyebrow.

  “Looks worse than it feels,” he assured my mom.

  “Looks like Niki’s elephant,” Holly said.

  “An elephant?” Robby asked, then turned to his brother. “Dude, she said you look like an elephant.”

  “The elephant in the room,” Holly said.

  “I don’t see it,” Beth said, assessing it critically, as if maybe if she tilted her head at some specific angle she’d see how Milo looked like an elephant.

  The wind rattled our windows.

  “To be fair,” I said, “my elephant bowl doesn’t look much like an elephant either. But he does have a golden scar.”

  “Cool,” Milo said. “An elephant with a golden scar? I’ve never seen one like that.”

  “He’s unique!” I said. “A little fragile, turns out.”

  “Same, same,” Milo said. “Turns out.”

  “Milo!” Danny yelled from the family room.

  “Coming!” He turned to me. “Come see. We’re building the most massive awesome parking garage for garbage trucks in history!”

  “Amazing,” I said, but grabbed his elbow as he walked toward the family room, where everybody else was c
hatting and laughing with my brother. We were alone in the front hall. “Hey,” I asked him. “Did something happen between you and Chase today?”

  “I know you don’t need anyone standing up for you,” Milo said, looking down at his socks. “I just added my opinion to yours. Chase was kind of smirking in the lobby when I got down the stairs, and maybe he was just trying to hide his shame, but you know what? He should be ashamed. He should stew in his shame and suffer.”

  “Milo.”

  He looked up at me. “I would never kiss you without asking first.”

  How does a normal human exist on the speeding, spinning planet without falling off? “I know,” I whispered.

  “At some point I’m gonna ask you permission. When I get my courage together.”

  “Okay,” I somehow managed.

  “Maybe when my face looks better,” he said. “Increase my odds of getting a yes.”

  “Your face is good,” I whispered.

  “It’s kind of a bashed-up mess right now.”

  “Not to me,” I said.

  “Really?”

  “I like it,” I whispered.

  “I like yours, too,” he whispered back.

  “MILO!” Danny yelled.

  “Coming,” Milo answered, and gave me his lopsided smile. And then, as he walked away, toward the family room, he touched the back of his hand to the underneath of my chin, just for one second, maybe two.

  I leaned against the doorframe for a minute.

  My excellent chin.

  He likes me. Right? He’s choosing me. And I’m choosing him.

  Best feeling in the whole world.

  I stood at the edge of the family room and admired what my brother and my friends had created, with blocks and tracks and trucks. Danny looked happier than he had in so long. Can a heart break through your ribs from pounding so hard?

  Asking for a friend, a family room full of my friends.

  A friends room full of family.

  Branches clattered against the windows, and lightning flickered like a strobe.

  “Get ready for chocolate cakes to die for!” Holly yelled from the kitchen. “Niki, come see!”

  That’s when all the lights went out.

  “Uh-oh,” Dad said in the sudden darkness.