Sweet Seas

by Scarlett Finn

  “Yeah.”

  Sassi couldn’t believe this. If Swain was paying her debt, she’d owe him forever. Suddenly, the repercussions of what this would mean for their relationship hit her hard. They weren’t supposed to have a relationship, and she’d really been ready to marry Dario if she had to. But, any distant glimmer of a fantasy she’d had of a future with her captain combusted in that second.

  “I didn’t want this,” she whispered.

  “What did—”

  Sassi couldn’t hear anymore. Marching past him, she rounded the deck and jumped into the passageway, fury and misery warring within her, making hot tears scald her eyes.

  She banged on Karen and Stuart’s door. “Shake a leg, come on!”

  “Waif—”

  “No,” she said, glancing back at her approaching captain.

  Sassi tried to walk away, but men came out of the mess to find out what was going on and she was hemmed in. Damn, she didn’t want any of them to see her upset, but there was no escape.

  “There’s no problem,” Swain said to her, holding out his hands like he was trying to calm a feral cat. “I take care of my crew. That’s all this is.”

  He couldn’t really believe that, could he? “No,” she snapped, her arm slicing the air. “This is not simple! Don’t trivialize this! You… you’re…”

  But, she didn’t want to admit it in front of the men. She couldn’t bring herself to say the words.

  “What’s going on, cap’n?” Jockey asked.

  The first-mate was behind her with the other crew outside the mess. “She knows I’m covering the debt,” Swain said.

  Shock made Sassi’s jaw slacken. If she’d put the pieces together, she’d have realized that the crew was going out with Swain to pay the money to the less than savory characters her father used to hang with.

  Her embarrassment heightened with this discovery that all the men she trusted had been working together behind her back. They all had to be aware of the extent of her humiliation.

  “Great,” she said. “Bet you all had a nice laugh at my expense. Poor, stupid Sassi with the dad who can’t bet on a winner… guess it’s something I have in common with my old man.”

  “Shortcake,” Foist said, approaching her.

  The pity in the engineer’s voice only made her feel worse. “Don’t,” she said, pulling away from him when he tried to touch her. “I didn’t want this… for any of us… I really didn’t.”

  Stuart and Karen’s cabin door opened and a blank Karen appeared. “Sassi?”

  “Get ready, we’re leaving in two.”

  Turning on her heels, she squeezed through the crew, unable to look any of them in the eye. Sassi ran up to the cabin she’d shared with Swain, but there was nothing for her here. There was no point in taking her uniforms and everything else was replaceable.

  She grabbed her knot from the nightstand and was ready to run for her life when the door slammed, trapping her and Swain inside.

  “How many times are we going to have this fight?” he barked. “I won’t let you leave.”

  Her fury and disgrace were aflame. “You can’t hold me against my will.”

  “Oh, I can, Waif. Believe me, I can.”

  “My brother—”

  “Will let me because I’m taking care of his problem too. This is a fucking good thing! It gets you both off the hook, why are you acting like this?”

  Rage exploded in her. “Because this is it!” she screamed. “This will always be between us now! It will define our relationship! I won’t be the girl you spent a month out at sea with, I’ll be the girl who decimated your savings! Now every time I look at you all I’ll be able to think about is the money and how I’ll pay you back!”

  He sneered. “I don’t want your fucking money. I haven’t once considered asking for a cent from you or your brother.”

  “Then why would you do this? It makes no sense! Why would you give up all that money? Why hand it to lowlifes and write off the debt? I can’t understand!”

  “Good,” he said. “I don’t want you to understand. I was hoping you wouldn’t.”

  Now she was even more confused. “Swain! Do you want me to work it off, is that it? But, with Raise here, you don’t need—”

  “No! I don’t want you to work it off or pay it back. I want to take care of this and never hear it mentioned again.”

  “Swain, I don’t—”

  “This all ends tomorrow,” he said.

  “Yeah, because midnight tomorrow is the deadline. I have to meet him in the warehouse.”

  “Yes, you do,” he said. “But, you won’t be going alone and you won’t be leaving with him.” So there was some sort of plan, for tomorrow at least. “I’d leave you here in safety if I didn’t think you deserved to see him get what he’s due.”

  Somehow, Sassi figured he was talking about more than just money. “Captain—”

  “I won’t be your captain anymore,” he said. “When we’re done with Dario, you’ll be free.”

  He’d promised her that before and with his regular cook back in the kitchen, she wasn’t needed. The saddest part of this was losing her place on the ship… under her captain.

  “I’ll stay right here,” she said, backing up to sit on the bottom corner of the bed. “You want me to stay onboard. I’ll stay right here in this cell.”

  “This is our bedroom,” he said. “Not a prison cell and the crew will—”

  “I can’t face them now,” she said, unable to lift her head to even look at him. Sassi had never been so ashamed in her life. “They know everything and with you paying my father’s debt after a month of sex… I’m not equal to them anymore, I’m a dockside whore.”

  “Sassi—”

  “I am grateful, Captain—Swain. Shit, I don’t even know what to call you.” She tipped her head one way and then the other. “One is a rank irrelevant to my position and the other feels too intimate.” The air left her lungs. “I really didn’t want it to come to this. Thank you for taking care of the debt. Truly, I am grateful.”

  She didn’t blame him for being at a loss because she was too. She still couldn’t lift her head. Emptiness was dragging her to its depths.

  “Hurting you was never my intention. But, I’ll take it over watching you walk away with him.”

  She bobbed her head, letting her gaze wander to the floor. “I understand…” Laying down on the bed, she curled herself into a tight ball. “I’d like to be alone now… please.”

  He did hesitate for a minute and she felt ridiculous asking him to leave his own cabin. But, what else could she do. She was sassy because confidence drove her through every day and she didn’t let herself ever believe anyone was better than her.

  But, it had just been proved to her that she wasn’t as powerful as she believed. Sassi hadn’t been able to fix her own life and in fixing it for her, Swain had just guaranteed that they could never have a future.

  She was grateful and it was a relief that she didn’t have to walk down the aisle to Dario. But, her blank mind broke her heart. There were no dream, no fantasies, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t conjure any.

  Her captain was no longer her captain. Her lover no longer her friend. She was alone, just like she’d feared being, and she was helpless too.

  After he was gone from the room, Sassi turned her face into his pillow and wept. She’d been saved from the life she didn’t want, but the price for her freedom was the life she did want.

  For the first time, she let herself feel everything she’d tried to conceal, but after it all rushed through her, she came to only one conclusion. Her heart was wounded and the injury was so deep, Sassi knew it would never heal.

  THIRTY

  Walking along the passageway toward the mess, Sassi could hear her brother’s voice.

  “No, no,” Stuart said. “I don’t agree with this. Sass should be staying right here.”

  Swain grumbled and she slowed to listen by the door. “She needs clo
sure,” Swain said. “If I thought tying her down would gimme an easy life I’d take it. I don’t want her hurt or anywhere near this bastard. We’ve faced every guy your dad owed; this is the only one she’s seen. She needs to do this. It’s how she’ll put all this crap behind her.”

  “She’s locked herself in your fucking bedroom for two days,” Stuart said. “Fuck knows what you’ve done to her, what you’ve said. If you’re forcing her—”

  “You don’t force Sassi to do anything,” Swain said, making her smile. “The girl rows to her own fucking rhythm.”

  “If he hurts her—”

  “I’m gonna be there,” Swain said. “If he lays a finger on her, he’ll spend the rest of his short life regretting it.”

  Rounding to stand in the doorway, Sassi didn’t step inside. “Let’s go,” she said to the two men who were in the galley, ready for action.

  Stuart came toward her. “Sassi, I think you should stay here. Let me and the guys—”

  “No,” she said. “I want to look Dario in the eye. I need him to know he’ll never have me… that I’m not afraid.”

  “You’re not afraid of nothing,” Swain said, marching over, past Stuart and into the passageway with her.

  The crew was on deck, Karen was staying with Jockey and Fidget, just like the other nights. Only she, Swain, and Stuart would go inside the warehouse to confront Dario, but the other guys were going to be on standby outside, just in case anything went down.

  They’d deliberately chosen to go to the midnight meeting in the isolated warehouse because going to Dario’s bar early would mean taking the battle to his turf and that would give him the advantage. Swain also told her that the men they’d paid were given a little extra to keep their mouths shut, so Dario wouldn’t get forewarning of what was going on.

  Under other circumstances, Sassi wouldn’t trust the lowlifes her dad did business with, but she’d bet the Eros crew rocking up to your door would be enough to make any guy think twice. They got some cash and didn’t want to get beaten up, so most of them would keep quiet. And, she doubted any of the creditors had any fondness for Dario the bully.

  The crew had worked fast as well, which meant word might not have had a chance to travel to the arrogant Dario anyway. He might have heard whispers, but there wouldn’t have been much of an opportunity for him to confirm that Henry Robins’ debt was being bought up.

  They left Eros as a stoic group. Menacing in the way they closed around her, the crew blocked her from view of the world. But, she recognized the dock beneath her feet and with the water beneath her walkway, she knew her sanctuary was close.

  Eros wouldn’t be within running distance all night. With every step, it was getting further away and that made her heart rate rise. Karen’s car was on the street for them and there were vehicles behind it, ready to transport the crew into their positions.

  The crewmen were allowed to go first as they’d have to park further away. As Sassi was in no rush to get to this meeting, she didn’t mind dragging her feet.

  Stuart got in the front seat and Swain bundled her into the back. She’d been expected to be alone back there, but Swain actually got in after her.

  His expression was serious, fixed out the windshield, and Stuart didn’t say a word as he drove.

  Sassi had no idea how the meeting was going to play out. Despite her faith in Swain’s resolve, she had prepared herself for surprises and was willing to go through with the original plan and marry Dario if she needed to.

  They hadn’t talked since their argument the previous day. Raise had fed the crew and Swain had brought her food, but she hadn’t been hungry. Sassi knew her reaction was extreme, and she’d had time to calm down and see that. But, she still didn’t know what to say to him.

  Of course, she was grateful that Swain was bailing them out. But, it didn’t feel right and she didn’t like feeling as though she was taking advantage of him and any feelings he had for her. One thing that had come shining through was her own stupidity and the strength of her feeling for him. Sassi didn’t know how this night would play out, but if they did manage to end this mess with Dario, she knew she couldn’t let her relationship with Swain finish in this way.

  “I’ve never seen you in a car before, Captain,” she said, trying to connect with him before what could be a terrifying climax.

  Swain stayed in his stern mode though he glanced at her. “I’m not a fan of wheels.”

  “I can see that about you,” she said, but couldn’t blame him for not being in the mood to joke, he wasn’t going to lighten up. Sliding across the back seat, she picked up his hand to kiss it, surprising him again. “Whatever happens tonight, Swain, I’m grateful that you tried.”

  “I won’t fail, Waif. I’m not walking out of there without you.”

  She could believe he was that determined, but she was trying to stay realistic. Getting emotional might lead to mistakes. The most effective way to stay calm was to be in his arms.

  Picking one up, she tucked herself beneath it, nestling into his side. Swain kissed her head and held her tight, giving her the most comfort he could offer, given where they were headed.

  It didn’t take long to get to the warehouse. Although Sassi had been there before, the light from the abandoned office and the cars parked around it confirmed that they were in the right place and that they weren’t the first to arrive.

  Her brother got out and went to the rear of the car to get a small duffel bag from the trunk while she and Swain got out of the backseat.

  With her back to the car, she took a moment to focus herself. “How do we do this?” Sassi asked when Swain and Stuart closed in around her.

  “You say nothing,” Swain said, as resolute as she’d ever seen him. “We pay him. We leave. You’re not going to get aggressive or provoke him because if he touches you Waif, I’ll kill him. I’ll spend the rest of my life in prison and—”

  “I know,” she said, reaching up to touch his jaw. “I just want it to be over… And, I don’t want you to go to prison.”

  Just the idea of her free, seafaring captain stuck the rest of his life on land gave her chills. To think he’d be stuck there imprisoned because of her made her sick. “Let’s get this over with,” Swain said.

  Sassi took his arm, but Stuart wasn’t ready to move. “I still say we should go in hard, teach this guy not to mess with us,” her brother said.

  Swain looked determined and angry, but Stuart was amped and she didn’t like the idea that his adrenaline might get any of them into trouble. “No,” she said.

  They could be outnumbered and she didn’t want anyone getting hurt. It might feel good to take Dario down, but it wasn’t worth the price of their own people getting hurt.

  “Not with your sister here,” Swain said. “We give the guy his chance to accept defeat.”

  “He won’t take defeat,” Stuart said.

  Sassi feared her brother could be right. Swain’s lack of response was as telling as a shout. Part of him wanted Dario to fight because if he did, her captain would have a reason to take him down.

  “Give Sassi the car keys,” Swain said, and curved a hand under her jaw to raise her attention to him. “Anytime you want to walk, get out, just go. The guys are around, they’ll watch your ass and don’t worry about us. That’s an order, wench.”

  She wasn’t his crew anymore and he’d absolved himself of being her captain. But, Sassi had said a lot of things that with hindsight hadn’t been fair. After his revelation, she’d responded with emotion because she was embarrassed and there just hadn’t been time to put her feelings together.

  “Aye, aye,” she said.

  The three of them started for the door. One careful, sure step at a time. This was the final meeting. Dario wasn’t going to take the news of what Swain and Stuart had been up to well. He didn’t want to be paid, but she guessed the bag Stuart was carrying was going to blast Dario’s plans to shit.

  Stuart went inside first, taking her hand as he went i
nto the warehouse office. When Sassi glimpsed a view around her brother, she saw Dario in the furthest corner, surrounded by six men who were all smoking cigars, laughing and chatting like this was a party and not a showdown.

  The men quieted and turned. Their joviality didn’t disappear, though they did become more guarded when they spotted Swain.

  “What’s this, mi amor?” Dario asked, pushing away from the wall to straighten up. “You brought a friend to celebrate?”

  “He’s not really much of a partier,” she said, letting her hand slip away from inside her captain’s elbow. Swain moved his body, putting his loose arm in front of hers. She couldn’t see his face, but guessed he was making his dislike of Dario and his men apparent. “He’s here for moral support.”

  Dario tutted and began to swagger forward. “Sexy Sassi… I know who this is… this is your capitan.” Shit. How did he know that? Did that mean he knew what the Eros men had been up to? Had they walked into a trap? “He has come to say goodbye… or to challenge me?”

  The sneer on his face became amusement when he glanced at his men. Dario twisted the cigar between his thumb and forefinger as he approached Swain. The height difference made it impossible for Dario to intimidate with size, but his glower didn’t lack confidence.

  “Dario,” she said and tried to step forward, but Swain tensed his arm and eased her back, while keeping his glare pinned on Dario.

  “Did you come to challenge me, hombre?”

  A tense moment of held breath passed. Sassi didn’t want them to fight. She didn’t trust Dario not to be packing a weapon. Swain was confident in his masculinity, so he wouldn’t care if someone questioned that. But, Sassi could only hope her captain was as secure in their relationship… whatever it was right now. She wished she’d taken the time to be more explicit about her feelings for him, though she wasn’t exactly sure what she’d have said even if she’d had the time.

  “You’ve gotta have something before you can be challenged for it,” Swain said, his voice deep and gruff.

  “And, you think I don’t have mi amor?” Dario asked, leering at her figure.