The Five-Year Plan: The utterly heart-warming and feel good rom com of 2020

by Carla Burgess

  Chapter 9

  ‘Mia and Keaton are lovely,’ I say as we rumble off down the road in the direction of home. ‘How long have you known them?’

  ‘Six or seven years? They’re great but they’re always trying to fix me up with people.’

  ‘You’re trying to fix me up with Sexy Coffee Guy!’ I splutter.

  He laughs. ‘True.’

  ‘I can’t believe they’ve been together since they were 13. Thirteen! You’d think they’d have grown apart in that time.’

  ‘I think they have split up a couple of times. I’m sure that when they left school they went their separate ways for a little while, then had a chance meeting a couple of years later and decided to give it a go again. They’re both really easy-going people though so that helps.’ He scratches his arm and stares out of the window at the passing fields. ‘What do you want to do now?’

  ‘I don’t know. I just thought you’d take me home?’

  ‘Well, I can do, or you can come down to my tent and check my camera traps with me?’

  I laugh. ‘Ooh, well who could refuse an offer like that?’

  ‘You don’t have to, of course,’ Aiden says, looking embarrassed. ‘I just thought …’

  ‘No, I want to, it’s just I’m not sure if my ankle will be alright down that hill.’

  ‘Well, I’ve carried you once, I can do it again.’

  ‘I’m sure it won’t come to that,’ I say with a confidence I don’t entirely feel. After all, it’s only my first day without a crutch. ‘But you might need to support me.’

  ‘Yeah, fine,’ he says easily, switching on the radio. ‘Oh, I love this song!’ he adds, as a Beatles track comes on. Cranking up the volume, he dons his sunglasses before starting to sing along loudly. I’m laughing too hard to actually join in. And when that track ends, another one comes on that he knows, and he sings even louder.

  ‘Come on, Orla! You must know this one!’

  It’s funny how you can meet someone and click straight away. I feel like that’s how it is with us, though I suspect he’s the type of person that clicks with lots of people on many different levels. I tell myself that though this kind of instant mateyness is unusual for me, it probably isn’t for him. There’s probably one of me everywhere he goes. I don’t mind though. Instead of feeling resentful, I can only feel happy that I get to bask in the warm glow of Aiden Byrne’s friendship too.

  We drive the rest of the way, singing along to the radio along roads lined with blossom-laden trees. ‘I love this time of the year,’ I say dreamily as he pulls in through the gates of Lark Rise Farm and parks in the shade of a gnarled apple tree.

  ‘Yeah, me too. It makes me miss Ireland though. It was always my favourite time growing up. Of course, in the winter I’m glad to be away.’ Opening his door, he jumps down before coming round to help me out.

  ‘Do you think you’ll go back and live there? When you eventually do settle down.’

  ‘Yeah, maybe. If I ever do settle.’ He laughs mischievously, white teeth flashing against the darkness of his beard. Then he stops and looks at a small green car parked in the far corner of the yard. ‘Oh! Looks like I’ve got a visitor.’ He gives me a meaningful look before catching hold of my hand. ‘Remember the otter girl I was telling you about? Jayne? She’s here. So, if you wouldn’t mind being my girlfriend for the afternoon, I’d be much obliged.’

  ‘Oh blimey, really? Are you sure we can do that to her?’

  ‘Oh yes.’

  ‘I’m not sure I can. It feels mean.’

  ‘Come on, Orla. It’s just a little thing. A tiny, tiny little thing.’ He measures a tiny space between his thumb and forefinger, giving me a pleading look. ‘And it’s not like we’re breaking her heart or anything. She’s just mildly interested, and this is just to nip that in the bud. This way she gets the message before she gets disappointed. Everyone’s a winner.’

  ‘Oh yeah, you keep telling yourself that.’ I give him a look before pausing at the top of the hill. ‘I really don’t think this is wise, you know. I’m meant to be resting my ankle, not making it worse.’

  ‘Coward.’

  ‘What do you mean? How is it cowardly to not want to hurt my ankle more? I’m not even wearing the right shoes.’

  ‘You’ve got trainers on, they’re alright. And I’ll help you. I said I would.’ He wraps an arm around my waist and hooks my arm over his shoulder. ‘Come on. Hop.’

  ‘I can’t hop downhill. What do you think I am? The Easter bunny?’

  ‘I don’t know. Do you poop candy?’ He laughs as I try to push him away.

  ‘Get off! I think I can manage.’

  He lets go of me and I limp slowly down the hill. If I’m careful, I find it’s alright.

  Aiden walks ahead before turning and putting his hands on his hips, looking impatient. ‘You’re so slow.’

  ‘Go on ahead then.’

  ‘No, we have to have arrive together so Jayne sees you immediately.’

  ‘Man up, Aiden! What do you think the poor girl’s going to do? Throw herself at you?’

  ‘Not if you’re there.’

  I roll my eyes at him. ‘Sorry, Mr Irresistible, you’ll just have to be patient.’

  ‘Ah, come on. You’re taking ages.’

  ‘I’m not. I’m doing well. Tell me I’m doing well.’

  He raises an eyebrow. ‘You’re doing well.’

  ‘Thank you, now—’ But before I can get my words out, I find myself thrown over his shoulder, head dangling as he starts marching downhill. I scream and grab his waist. ‘Ow! Aiden! Put me down!’

  ‘Relax, I won’t drop you.’

  ‘Please, Aiden. Please.’

  ‘Oh, I love it when you beg.’

  ‘Aiden!’

  ‘Stop squawking. We’re almost there now. Ouch! Watch what you’re doing with your hands, you pinched me then.’

  ‘I’ll pinch you again if you don’t put me down.’

  ‘Pinch me again and I’ll drop you.’

  ‘Hey!’

  ‘We’re here now. Shh.’

  ‘Don’t shh me!’

  ‘Oh, be quiet.’ Bending, he sets me down on my own two feet and straightens up. I feel breathless and dizzy from being upside down and have to cling to him for a moment so I don’t fall. He puts his hands on my hips and looks down at me.

  ‘Sorry. But it got the job done.’

  ‘I hate you,’ I say weakly, and he laughs.

  There’s a noise to our right and a girl with long red hair appears through the trees. She stops when she sees me, the smile falling from her face, replaced by a scowl. She looks like a beautiful, unfriendly fox.

  ‘Hi, Jayne,’ Aiden says cheerfully, like he hasn’t noticed her expression. ‘I didn’t realise you were coming today. This is my girlfriend, Orla. Orla, this is Jayne, a ranger from the local otter watch.’

  ‘Hi, Jayne. Nice to meet you.’

  She stares at me but says nothing back.

  Oh.

  ‘Have you seen any tracks today?’ Aiden walks over to her, seemingly oblivious to her frostiness. She mutters something quietly to him, and together they disappear through the trees back along the river. I watch them go, feeling slightly disquieted by the girl’s attitude. For some reason, I hadn’t expected her to be so pretty or unfriendly. I’d had an image of her being homely and sweet. Perhaps being a bit put out by my presence, but too shy to show it. I don’t know why I thought that. Maybe it was because Aiden said she went red every time he spoke to her. I really can’t imagine that girl looking shy and embarrassed at all.

  I stand alone among the trees, feeling really quite cross that he’s gone off with her. He’s carried me down here, and now he’s just abandoned me. He’s meant to be my friend, isn’t he? Not Jayne’s.

  It’s a childish thought and I feel immediately ashamed of myself. Looking to distract myself, I focus on the pain in my ankle, which now feels like it’s swelling up. I hobble down to the river and take off my tr
ainer so I can soak my foot in the cold water. It’s so cold it makes me whimper, but after the initial shock, numbness sets in and I find it helps. Trying to push away the negative feelings stirring in my gut, I close my eyes and tip my face up to the dappled sunlight. Birds are singing and the water’s bubbling and wind is whispering through the leaves. It’s the most peaceful place, but still my stomach is knotted with … something. I don’t know what. Annoyance? Indignation? Jealousy? No, definitely not jealousy. Why would I be jealous? That’s just stupid. No, I’m definitely annoyed with Aiden for using me like this. It’s Jayne that’s jealous, not me, and she shouldn’t be jealous either, because she has no reason to be.

  It’s unkind of Aiden to make her feel that way, and it’s unkind of me to play along with it. Girls should support each other, not let men tear us down. Don’t we have enough things to put up with in this world without competing with other girls over stupid men? These are the things I hoped to avoid in life by not getting involved with romantic relationships. Especially other people’s.

  Why did she look so unhappy and jealous if all she and Aiden had done was talk about otters? What if Aiden’s already slept with her and is using me to dump her? How awful would that be? Poor girl.

  Or what if he’s using me to make her jealous so he can get with her? After all, I really don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to be with her when she’s so hot. I know what he said about relationships and stuff, but he’s spent so long trying to talk me into going out with Sexy Coffee Guy I’m not sure I believe him.

  And all men want sex, don’t they?

  Hmm.

  I feel sick with anger, and I really hate being this churned up and emotional. And over what? A guy I’ve known for about a week?

  The thought shocks me and I tell myself no, it’s about female solidarity, not letting the men get to us and use us. I take more deep breaths and gaze into the river. My feet look very white through the rippling clear water, and tiny silver fish are crowding around my toes.

  ‘Watch out for the piranhas!’

  ‘What?’ I snatch my feet from the water in panic and Aiden laughs. ‘There are no piranhas in this country, are there?’

  ‘No, I’m kidding.’

  I lean back and look behind him. ‘Where’s Jayne?’

  ‘Gone. You scared her away. Good girl.’

  Annoyed, I get my trainer and throw it at him. It misses and bounces off the trunk of the tree next to him.

  ‘Hey, what was that for?’ he says, looking surprised.

  ‘Don’t be mean! Poor girl. Did you see how unhappy she looked when she saw you were with me?’

  ‘She was upset about a dead otter that’s been found by the road, not about you.’

  ‘Hmm.’ I raise an eyebrow, sceptical. ‘Well, she didn’t look too friendly.’

  ‘It takes her a while to warm to people.’

  ‘Especially when they’re with the bloke she fancies. Why wouldn’t you want to go out with her, anyway? She’s beautiful.’

  He pulls a face. ‘I already told you. It’s more hassle than it’s worth. This way, she might be a little bit annoyed now, but she’s a lot less angry than she’d be a few months down the line.’

  ‘You don’t know that. She might be more than happy to see the back of you.’

  ‘Not with my spectacular sexual prowess.’

  ‘Oh really?’ I scoff.

  ‘Yes really!’ His grin reaches from ear to ear as the breeze blows his hair across his face. ‘What? Are you doubting my abilities?’

  ‘No, no.’ I hold up a hand to stop him from divulging further details. ‘If you say so, Aiden. Anyway, what’s up with the dead otter?’

  ‘Someone phoned yesterday evening to say they’d found a dead otter beside the road near the lake. It’s a male, and we don’t know if it’s our resident dog otter. It could be one passing though, searching for a new territory. They’ve brought it in for examination but I doubt it will tell them much.’

  ‘Oh no. That’s sad.’

  ‘Yeah, it is sad. But you know, on the whole, otters are doing very well as a species at the moment, so we mustn’t be too disheartened. Jayne’s upset, of course, but we’re optimistic we have cubs here so it’s not like they’re dying out as a species anymore. They’ve staged a massive comeback since we cleaned up the rivers.’

  ‘Any sign of otter activity along this stretch of river yet?’

  ‘We’re not sure really. There was a flattened section of grass along the bank which could indicate an otter’s been there, but it could have been something else. And no fresh spraint on the rock so … it looks unlikely.’

  ‘Oh, the spraint rock. You were going to show me that.’

  ‘Oh yeah, if you think you’re up to it?’

  ‘Is it easy to get to?’

  He shrugs and turns to point along the river. ‘It’s just up there, along the bank. It’s pretty easy, although you might want to put your shoes back on.’

  ‘Can I paddle?’

  Aiden looks uncertain. ‘I’m not sure I’d recommend it.’

  ‘It’s only shallow, isn’t it?’

  ‘Well, yeah, I suppose. But what if you step on something sharp?’

  ‘The stones look nice and flat.’ I stand up and wade out a little way, pulling my cropped linen trousers up so they don’t get wet at the bottom. The stones feel smooth and slightly slippery beneath my feet, but I think they’ll be alright to walk on as long as it’s not too far. ‘Are you coming in?’

  ‘No, I’ll stay on the bank.’ He shakes his head slightly. ‘Orla, I really don’t think this is a great idea. I don’t want to take you to hospital again.’

  ‘It will be fine!’ I insist, wading upstream, the water sloshing around my shins. It makes me feel like a kid again, giggly and euphoric, but Aiden’s looking terribly disapproving up on the bank. He runs a hand through his hair before placing them on his hips, shaking his head at me. ‘I tell you what,’ I say, wading towards him and holding out my hand. ‘If you’re staying on the bank, hold my hand. That way you can stop me falling.’

  He rolls his eyes but takes my hand anyway. Now I feel even more like a child, my arm stretched upwards as though I’m a toddler holding the hand of a parent. I giggle.

  ‘What are you laughing about?’ he says as he ducks beneath a low branch.

  ‘Nothing. It’s just funny, that’s all.’

  ‘What’s funny?’

  ‘This. Holding your hand. It’s like you’re my dad or something.’

  ‘Well, I certainly feel very disapproving right now.’

  ‘Oh stop! It’s fine. I like the water and it’s soothing my ankle.’

  ‘Or maybe making it so numb that you can’t feel that you’re damaging it more. And if you disturb my trail cam, I’ll drown you.’

  ‘Charming! Why, where’s your trail cam?’

  ‘Just tucked under this bank here.’ He indicates a protruding segment of grassy bank with reeds growing beneath it. ‘There’s a few dotted around.’

  ‘Well, I’ll be careful not to tread on one.’ I watch my feet, picking my way around the bigger stones, careful not to slip. Aiden stretches out his arm to accommodate my detour further into the river around the rock. The water’s getting deeper and soaks into the bottom of my rolled-up trousers. I’m enjoying myself far too much to care though. I know I’m only paddling in a shallow river, but it feels like the most adventurous thing I’ve done in years. I’m completely focused on the here and now, with no thought in my head other than the sensation of the water around my calves and Aiden’s hand in mine. He walks slowly, patiently, as I giggle and pant my way upstream towards the rock. ‘Is it much further?’

  ‘No, you can see it now. The large flat rock sticking up out of the water.’

  ‘Oh yes.’ I look ahead and see the rock he means. This section of river is far rockier and more treacherous, and I have to pick my way around boulders and clamber over rocks, but before I know it we’re there.

  �
��Look, it’s been used so much it’s gone green.’

  ‘Ugh! Does it smell?’ I cover my nose in case it does.

  ‘Otter spraint smells like jasmine tea, actually. It’s not unpleasant.’

  ‘Really? You’d think it’d smell fishy.’

  ‘Not at all. Take a whiff.’

  ‘No, you’re alright.’

  ‘Honestly, it doesn’t smell bad.’

  ‘I’ll take your word for it.’ I peer at the green layer on top of the stone. ‘Did you see them on here when you saw them mating?’

  ‘Once.’

  ‘Do you think the holt is nearby?’

  ‘I should think so. I don’t know exactly where though.’

  I look around at the river bank. Sunlight filters through the trees, making the water sparkle. Birds sing and a woodpecker drums. It’s so pretty and peaceful, I can see why a shy otter would choose this as its home. With my feet planted firmly on the river bed and the water lapping around my calves, I feel suddenly connected to my surroundings in a way I’ve never experienced before. I think maybe this is how Aiden feels when he’s down here, and why he chooses to camp out instead of staying in hotel rooms. I look up at him now, still holding my hand but looking downstream. He looks so relaxed and content, squinting slightly against the sunlight, and I get the impression that right now, in this moment, he can’t imagine being anywhere other than here and that he is completely at peace with himself. It’s fascinating to watch. Most people, especially at work, are thinking of the next thing they’ve got to do, the next place they want to be, the next person they’ve got to speak to, the next thing they want to say. Their minds are always busy, flitting from thing to thing, whereas Aiden seems to be still and rooted in the present. Though I know that he’s constantly moving physically from place to place, I get the feeling that when he is in one spot, he’s truly in that spot, appreciating every aspect of it. Living it, absorbing it, recording it with his camera.

  As though sensing the intensity of my gaze, Aiden turns his head, catching me staring. Embarrassed to be caught, I turn sharply away, letting go of his hand and starting to wade away.