We spend all weekend making love. The day runs into night and night into day and by the time Monday morning comes around I can barely believe I have to go outside and join the thousands of other people making their way into work on the packed tube train. To make matters worse, the weather’s still awful. Cold, sleety rain slants sideways as the bitter wind blasts down the street. I’ve wrapped my big scarf around the bottom half of my face, but the top half is still exposed. My eyes are streaming as I hurry towards the underground station, already dreading the sea of bodies waiting on the platform below.
Aiden was going to meet some MP this morning to ask about the government’s commitment to tackling climate change. He wouldn’t give me any details, just a mischievous smile, and said he’d fill me in later. If he could keep his hands off me long enough to tell me about it, that is.
Belinda and Emma can’t wait to find out what I’ve been doing with Aiden all weekend. They flock to my desk, eager for gossip, but of course, all we’ve been doing is reacquainting ourselves with each other’s bodies and I’m not going to give them the details of that. They’ve noticed how happy I am though. Pity it’s not going to last long.
‘How long is he here for?’ Belinda asks, after I’ve gone bright red and refused to answer their rather personal questions.
‘Just until Friday,’ I say, my smile fading slightly. ‘But he’s only going to be in Ireland. It’s not too far away at all.’ I’ve rehearsed this part well and even I’m starting to believe it now.
‘Well, that’s shit, isn’t it?’ Belinda looks appalled. ‘Has he asked you to go with him?’
‘Sort of.’
‘What does sort of mean?’
‘Well he suggested the other night I could work for him as his personal masseuse,’ I say, going slightly pink at the memory.
‘You lucky bitch!’ Emma spits.
‘Emma!’ I say, shocked. ‘Can I just remind you you’re only a trainee?’
‘Until you go off to be Aiden Byrne’s personal masseuse and I get your job,’ she retorts cheekily.
‘Well, actually, I said no to his tempting offer on account of my very important job on this newspaper.’
‘Nobody’s irreplaceable, Orla,’ Belinda says tartly.
‘Thanks!’ I roll my eyes at her.
‘Is Aiden going to be part of this protest march outside the Houses of Parliament this afternoon?’ Emma asks.
‘What protest march?’
‘It’s a climate change protest march. Some of my friends are going.’
‘Oh God!’ Belinda snorts. ‘It’s not going to be a big one, is it? They’re not going to affect the tube service or anything? I need to get home tonight.’
‘I don’t know much about it, to be honest.’
‘Do you think we should go down and see what’s going on?’
‘Of course you should!’ Belinda clicks her fingers. ‘Both of you. Go. Get. Let me know if the tube’s running.’
‘Okay, okay!’
Emma and I catch a cab to the Houses of Parliament where a large crowd of climate change protesters have gathered. There’s a buzz in the air and I can’t help but feel excited when I catch sight of all the people holding banners. It’s only when I get closer I see Aiden standing on a wall, talking to the crowd and praising them for their commitment to environmental issues.
‘Oh look, it’s Aiden!’ Emma says excitedly. ‘How cool is that?’
The hairs on the back of my neck lift just watching him, and I’m filled with admiration for his bravery. Emma waves to a girl near the back of the crowd, and she comes over to talk to us.
‘Hey! This is Jemma. Jemma, this is Orla. What’s the plan today, Jemma?’
‘Yet another peaceful protest. We’ll stand outside here for an hour or so, then we’ll march through the streets, trying to get our message out there.’
‘What kind of reaction do you get from the general public?’
‘Very positive, in the main. Of course, you always get a few people annoyed with us, but you have to factor in ignorance. The government have declared a climate emergency, and this is just putting the pressure on, saying we want to see action with real results.’
‘Do you live in London, or have you come from further afield to join in this protest?’
‘I’m only in Surrey. But I’ve spoken to people from all over. Freddie over there has come down from York, and Jenny’s from Scotland. I can’t believe Aiden Byrne has joined us!’ She pulls an excited face. ‘He’s such a legend!’
‘Did you know he was supposed to be here?’ I ask, curious to know if Aiden knew about this but just hadn’t told me.
‘No! He just appeared and joined us! It’s a complete surprise.’
We talk to a few more people about how far they’ve come to join this protest. Aiden’s in the crowd somewhere, and I stand on my tiptoes to try and catch sight of him. After a while, I see him talking and laughing with a group of people.
‘Hey!’ he says, coming over after he sees me waving to him. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Oh, you know, just a bit of reporting.’ I roll my eyes at him. ‘Did you know about this?’
He looks shifty. ‘Maybe.’
‘You could have told me! What’s the point in having you as a boyfriend if I don’t get the inside scoop on these protests? Emma knew more than me.’
‘Sorry. I really was coming to meet with an MP. I didn’t know if I’d miss it.’
‘Okay. Can I get a quote from you then?’
‘If you like, this is just a peaceful gathering to remind the government of their commitment to the Paris Agreement on climate change, and to say we want real action after they declared a climate emergency in the wake of the extinction rebellion protests.’
‘Can I just ask,’ Emma pipes up from beside me, ‘you’ve been all around the world, right? So your carbon footprint is probably much higher than the average person’s. How can you campaign for zero emissions when you spend so much time travelling on aeroplanes?’
Aiden smiles, not the least bit offended by Emma’s question. ‘You’re quite right. I have travelled an awful lot and my carbon footprint is high. But, when I get to where I’m going, I try to travel within that country by more carbon-efficient means, like train or bicycle or on foot, wherever possible. And you know, the media needs more people reporting on important environmental matters to bring about more change. Unbelievably, there are still climate change deniers out there, and the media attention in the past has often been about the debate between scientists and those that do not want to recognise what’s going on, so I feel it’s important that that changes. People need to know what’s happening in the world. People need to understand that climate change is already happening and other parts of the world are already suffering irreversible effects. And they need to understand that it’s not something that’s happening somewhere else, but it’s coming for them too. It’s happening here, right now, and we need to stand up and take action today, not tomorrow.’
‘Okay, thanks,’ Emma says, scribbling away in her pad.
‘There’s something you can do, too, Emma,’ Aiden adds, and I brace myself for him to start lecturing her on veganism.
‘Oh yeah, what’s that then?’
‘You need to convince Orla to move to Ireland with me. Otherwise she’s going to rack my carbon footprint up even higher with our visits to see each other.’
‘Oh, that’s cool. We were talking about that this morning, weren’t we, Orla? Belinda already told her she’s not irreplaceable.’
‘Hey!’ I squawk, going red. I hate to think Aiden thinks I’ve been talking about moving to Ireland with him. Aiden laughs and wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me against him.
‘There you go then. What’s for tea tonight? I’m starving.’
‘I don’t know. Whatever you fancy.’
The crowd of protesters is starting to move off down the road in a flurry of banging drums and whistles. Aiden looks behind him
, clearly thinking he should go with them.
‘Are you coming with us? Go on, you can do a live stream to your Twitter or whatever.’
‘I don’t know. We should get back to the office really.’
‘Come on, you can walk with us for a bit, can’t you? This is history in action. You can’t miss this to go and sit in an office and write about yet another stabbing or some other equally depressing piece of news.’
Emma and I join the protest march. One of Emma’s friends hands her a sign with ‘Save the Bees!’ on it and we follow the seething mass of people through the streets. It’s uplifting to be part of a movement like this, and though I’m sceptical it will change the minds of those in power, it’s encouraging to see the support of the people watching us pass by. Shopkeepers come out to clap us and taxi drivers beep their support. I’m sorry when we leave to go back to the office.
Chapter 24
The thought of Aiden going away on Friday makes me want to scream. I love him so much. Life is going to be so hard when he leaves, even with keeping in touch, like we’ve promised to.
‘Are you okay?’ he asks later that evening when we’re eating our dinner in my flat. ‘You’re very quiet tonight.’
‘I know, I keep thinking about you going away on Friday.’ I put my fork down on my plate, my appetite gone. ‘I’m going to miss you, that’s all.’
He smiles. ‘You don’t have to miss me. Come with me.’
‘You know I can’t.’
‘No. I know that you can.’
‘No, I can’t, Aiden! Listen, we could argue about this all night, but we both know it’s not practical. I can’t just walk out on my job and my flat. Even if I said yes, I’d still have a lot of things to sort out. I couldn’t just come on Friday and that’d be it.’
‘Well, just come with me on Friday for the weekend.’
‘No, Aiden! We’ve been through this already. You know I can’t.’ Picking up my plate, I take it into the kitchen to wash. ‘I do love you, and you know I want to be with you. God knows I’ll miss you when you’ve gone. Part of me wants to say yes and just leave with you, but the sensible parts says it would be madness to give everything up and follow you to Ireland.’
‘So, you’re happy to have a long-distance relationship?’
I sigh and shrug. ‘It’s not so long distance, is it? Like you say, it’s just an hour away.’ My tone is upbeat, but I can feel the anxiety building at the thought of not seeing him for weeks on end. ‘Maybe, if things are going well for us, and we find somewhere to live, and I find work, we could think about it again.’
‘How very sensible!’
‘Well, we have to be, don’t we? You’ve only been back a short time. What if I went with you and you got the opportunity to go to Australia to report on the Great Barrier Reef or something? I’d be stuck in Ireland, living with your parents, while you’re the other side of the world.’
He frowns. ‘Why wouldn’t you come with me? Besides, that wouldn’t happen, because I’ve already agreed to a project based in Ireland, so that’s where I’m going to be.’
‘But what about my job?’
He thinks for a moment. ‘You could work for me.’
‘Doing what?’
‘My personal assistant. God knows I need one. I’ve got stuff coming out of my ears at the moment, and you know what I’m like. I’ve got better but I’m still really disorganised and forgetful.’
‘But that’s not what I do,’ I protest. ‘I’m a reporter.’ It’s not that I’m averse to being his PA, I just don’t believe he’s thought it through.
‘So, freelance. Or get a job on a paper in Dublin. Do whatever you like, I don’t care as long as we’re together.’
‘Oh, Aiden, it’s just not practical.’ I lean my head back against the cupboard door, and close my eyes. ‘I haven’t even met your parents. I couldn’t just agree to live with them. They might not like me. I might not like them.’
‘Sure, you’d all love each other. But if you want to meet them, you should come with me this weekend. Even if it’s just until Sunday.’
I shake my head. ‘I can’t.’
‘Why can’t you?’ he laughs in disbelief.
‘Because we may as well get used to being apart. It’s just prolonging the agony, isn’t it? You may as well go alone and spend some quality time with your family after being away so long. You don’t need me getting in the way of that.’
‘You wouldn’t get in the way of that. My parents would love to meet you, and besides I only saw them the other week at the exhibition so it’s not like they’ll be desperate to spend time with me.’
‘Do they even know about me?’
‘Of course they do.’
‘Really?’ I’m surprised he would have told them about me, and it must show on my face because he laughs at my disbelieving expression and comes round the counter, wrapping his arms around me.
‘Yes, really! What, do you think I don’t talk to them? Of course I told them about you. Don’t you know how happy I am that we’re back together? Now, stop being so negative.’ He smiles down at me, and I see the love shining in his eyes. My resolve starts to slip, but I know I can’t just up and leave everything behind.
‘I’m not being negative, I’m being practical. It’s too soon for me to give everything up and just follow you to Ireland.’
‘But we spent all that time apart. Don’t you feel it’s time for us to be together now?’
‘Yes, I do, but you’ve only been here just over a week.’
‘Long enough to know how we feel. Long enough to know we should be together.’
‘Do we though?’ I look up at him, my arms around his neck. ‘You know I love you, but how does that translate to a future together? I know it’s too soon to think about marriage and babies, but if you’re asking me to move to Ireland, I’d like to know how you feel about having those things in the future. Maybe.’
His eyebrows shoot up. ‘You want to marry me?’
‘Well …’ I falter. ‘I’m not saying right now. Maybe not even marriage if you don’t believe in that, but some kind of commitment would be nice. Some kind of security. And I know you said the other day that you’re not totally against having kids anymore, but is that really true? Because I’d really like a baby. I’m not saying now, but one day.’
He blinks, as if thinking hard. ‘Well, what would you do if I said no? Find someone you don’t love, just so you can get married and have children.’
‘I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying that if we’re not thinking along those lines now, then it’s too soon to give up my life in London and follow you to Ireland.’
‘Oh.’ Aiden looks bemused as he mulls this over. He stares at the extractor fan above my head, frowning hard. ‘All I’m thinking is we’ve been apart for five years already and why should we waste another minute being apart? Life’s too short for that.’
I inhale deeply, before letting it out as a sigh. ‘I don’t know, Aiden. Maybe you’re right. I just don’t feel brave enough to make the leap right now.’
He looks disappointed for a moment, but then his arms tighten around me and he smiles. ‘Okay, that’s fine. You know I’ll wait for as long as it takes. Whenever you’re ready is fine by me.’
Smiling back at him, I lay my head against his chest. I know that I’m right. It would be foolish to rush this without any idea of what the future holds for us. But still, each hour that passes is one step closer to me saying goodbye to him again, and that thought fills me with dread.
Chapter 25
The week passes quicker than a week has ever passed before, and before I know it, it’s time to say goodbye to Aiden. We keep the mood cheerful as we take a cab to the airport, but I can’t help the panic-stricken butterflies in my stomach as I remember the last time we travelled to an airport together, and I said goodbye to him for what I thought would be forever. Last time I held my smile in place, and even though I now know it must have seemed like I didn’t
care, I’m still hoping I can do so again. I don’t want to embarrass myself in the middle of a busy airport by howling, and also, I know I’ll be seeing him again soon so I really don’t need to.
This is just the beginning of our journey, I reassure myself, not the end.
My legs are shaking as we climb out the cab and make our way into the brightly lit building. The evening has taken on a surreal quality. I can’t believe I’m about to wave Aiden off again. I can’t believe I’m not going to wake up with him beside me tomorrow morning. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it.
Aiden still doesn’t understand why I won’t go with him just for the weekend, and as I stand there, watching him check in his luggage, I start to question why too. Why have I been so stubborn and awkward about it? Why am I waving him off again when I could go with him and spend another couple of days in his company?
He reckons he’ll come back again either next weekend or the weekend after. He’s been deliberately vague about when he’ll be back, and I’m pretty sure it’s to force me to say I’ll visit him in Ireland. To be honest, I’ve been feeling a bit resentful about it, thinking that if he’s the one that’s going, he the one who should be coming back. But as I stand there, watching people hurry past with their baggage, passports in hand, I start to think maybe I should be more flexible. I can’t have things all my own way, and if I want a future with him, it stands to reason I should go to Ireland and meet his family.
Aiden comes back over with his backpack and coat over his arm. Dropping them onto the floor, he pulls me against his chest.
‘Are you okay?’ he asks.
‘Fine,’ I lie, smiling up at him.
The corners of his mouth pull down and a crinkle appears above his nose. ‘You’ve not changed your mind then?’
I wrinkle my nose at him, full of regret. ‘Bit late now.’
He shakes his head. ‘It’s not too late.’
The Five-Year Plan: The utterly heart-warming and feel good rom com of 2020 Page 29
