The Clockwork Heart

by T Ariyanna

  “You really ought to watch your language. That's no way for a lady to talk, and you know it.” The sarcasm was thick in his voice, but his shock at her words was genuine.

  “Fine. You make no damn sense. Better?” She cocked an eyebrow at him, challenging him. She popped another grape into her mouth, and smiled at his silence.

  He turned away with a grunt, crossing his arms over his chest. “It's the fastest way. We can get through all of the places if we're careful. We can wait until tonight and go through the village while everyone's sleeping. By the time we get to the woods, there'll be enough light to see by so we don't get lost.”

  “I thought you said we would be getting to the mountain by the end of today? How are we going to do that if we don't leave until then?”

  “I was speaking with confidence! It won't kill us to have a little, okay? Damn, woman,” he ended in a mutter.

  “What was that?” Kaitlyn pried, getting to her feet. She stepped up to the demon, squaring her shoulders. She held her head high, though Cy was easily a foot taller than her. She stretched on her toes, trying to meet his eyes and stare him down, but he wasn't budging.

  After a moment, Cy chuckled and stepped back from her. He tugged at her ponytail draped over her shoulder and she shoved him away angrily. She turned away from him, her cheeks burning from the way he treated her like a child. She ran her fingers through her tangled hair, and moaned in exasperation. She untied it and busied herself with attempting to tie it up again.

  “I'm going to finish going through the house. Take the time to rest up fully. We'll leave just before the sun is gone tonight.”

  He smiled mischievously as he left the room. She stuck her tongue out at him, muttering, “Stupid demon.”

  His smile grew, and he winked at her. “Crazy girl,” he shot back. He left the room, and she couldn't help but smile as she finished tying her hair up in a loose bun.

  “What does he expect me to do all day? There's nothing left in this house!” Kaitlyn exclaimed. She threw her hand up into the air and paused in her pacing. Cy had descended into the basement hours ago, leaving Kaitlyn alone upstairs. She had explored the house, but there was barely anything to be found. Arion's room still held his furniture, and a few articles of clothing he had left behind. She packed them neatly into her bag, moving slowly to waste time. It took up just under a half hour, and left her more bored than ever when she had finished.

  She spent the rest of the early day pacing around downstairs, awaiting Cy's return. She was going crazy with boredom, as though madness itself was seeping from the walls. She banged on the secret door to the basement, yelling through the metal, “Cyllorian! There's nothing to do up here! Can I got outside or something, or do I need your permission?”

  She heard his footsteps and backed away from the door. It opened slowly, and Cy poked his head out. “Why would you need my permission. You're capable of handling yourself, right? Just stay in the back, preferably. We don't want anyone to find us here.”

  Kaitlyn nodded, slightly embarrassed. He nodded back, and returned to the basement, dropping the door so it slammed shut.

  Kaitlyn sat back in confusion. Why had she felt the need to check with Cyllorian, especially when he didn't seem to care what she did? With a huff, she stood up and marched outside. She kicked at the loose dirt as she tried to make sense of it.

  If he doesn't care, then why was he specific about where I could go? Obviously I'm not going to get us caught. I know better than to be reckless. Does he not trust me all of a sudden? And what could he be doing downstairs?

  She ignored the questions buzzing in her head and took a deep breath of fresh air. This was all she needed, after feeling suffocated inside the house. Her legs ached from the day before, and she wasn't too eager to be walking around again so soon, but staying cooped up in the house was pointless.

  Outside had provided more of a distraction than she had anticipated. There were a few dummies set up, and she allowed herself to take out her rage on the one nearest to the house. She punched it with every wave, every thought, of guilt.

  Arion's dead. She punched the dummy in the middle and it bobbed on its perch.

  I can't go home. Another punch, this one cracking her knuckles painfully on contact. She shook her hand and continued.

  Father took Dragon from me. I have no idea what he did with him. Tears pricked in her eyes. She hadn't had the time to worry about her lost pet, until now. She shut her eyes and swung wildly. She missed the dummy and fell to the ground.

  She twisted in the air and caught herself on her hands. The ground was hard and uneven. It cut through her palms and tore her pants as she landed. She scrubbed her eyes clear with the back of her hand, taking deep breaths to control her emotions.

  Kaitlyn pushed herself into a sitting position and carefully picked the dirt from the scrapes on her palms. It was hard to discern the dirt in the small amount of blood that pooled around the cut. She dropped her hands to her sides, palms up.

  “It's no use. I'm completely helpless, I can't do anything! It's only a matter of time before Cyllorian sends me away, or abandons me. I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen! It’s all my fault, and once he finds out that I…I....” she broke off her sentence, unable to say the words aloud.

  I told Kraven to kill Arion, she told herself. The accusation in the words crashed over her, and she lost her breath. She struggled for air through her sobs, and she buried her face in her arms.

  “No. It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. I meant for Arion to fight back, to scare Kraven away. That’s what he told me he would do before, I don’t know why he didn’t,” she gasped, forcing her tears away. “If there's a chance that Arion can get better, then so can I. I can get stronger, and be more helpful. I'll get him back, and then everything will go back to normal.”

  Kaitlyn stood up, a fierce determination coursing through her veins, boiling under her skin. She swung out at the dummy, again and again until her knuckles were bruised.

  “Who are you pretending it is?” Cy's voice behind her made her jump, and she whirled on him, fists still raised. He glanced at her discolored fists and scowled, but said nothing.

  She breathed a sigh of relief and dropped her hands. They throbbed and stung, though she hadn't noticed until she had stopped. She coughed into her hand to hide a wince at her pain. Stronger, she reminded herself.

  Cy looked off into the distance behind her, his hands stuffed carelessly into his pockets. It looked like such a natural pose, despite the unnatural body, and she almost forgot that he was made entirely of metal. Almost.

  “Arion used to pretend they were Kraven. He'd spend all day standing back here and trying to hit the one in the back, but he never could. He wasn't even that bad of a shot, for a beginner. Still not sure why he could never hit it. Probably something stupid, like his lack of self-confidence.”

  Cy shrugged his shoulder as he finished. There was no sign of the care he had showed the day before, and Kaitlyn stared at him. She searched his features, but the metal was tricky and difficult to read.

  Can he really turn off his feelings so easily? Or did he just not care in the first place? Is he actually doing all of this for Arion, or does he have some other motivation to trick me? But why would he want me alone?

  Kaitlyn took a step back and readied her fists at her sides. She kept her face frozen, praying that it wouldn't give away her thoughts as she studied the demon's every move.

  Theresa doesn’t trust him. And there had to have been a reason Arion never told me about him. He’s done everything he could to get me here, and now he’s acting completely different. Maybe he blames me for Arion’s death, and wants to take revenge. He has a temper, but he also seems to have control. His plan was to bring me here so he could kill me, it has to be!

  “What do you mean by that?” she asked slowly. She spread her feet apart, and flexed the muscles in her arm.

  “He didn't think he could do a lot of things. H
e never thought he could stand up to Kraven, and no matter how much he practiced when it came to these dummies, he made that one especially for Kraven, and it scared him. Just thinking of him terrified the kid, and he missed every time. I would make him aim at the trees around it, and he got every single one perfectly, so his aim wasn't the problem. He never believed in himself, with anything.”

  They spent a long moment in silence. Kaitlyn weighed her options carefully. If I try to hit him, will it even do anything? The spear went straight through his chest and he didn't flinch. I'll probably break my arm if I hit him directly. But if I can just surprise him, I should be able to get away.

  He hadn’t noticed the change in her yet. She still had a chance, but there was a part of her that didn’t believe her fears. She warred with herself, then said, “Why?”

  Cy turned to her. The metal above his eyes opened up, showing his vague interest. “What?”

  “Why didn’t Arion ever tell me about you?”

  Cy looked away. “Honestly, I don’t really know,” he muttered, a bout of anger rising up into his voice. He crossed his arms, tapping his talons against his arm.

  He’s lying! She didn’t give herself any time to change her mind. She lunged for him, swinging her fist towards the side of his head.

  He saw her just in time to dodge her attack. He jumped out of the way, but she spun and kicked for his legs. “If Arion really trusted you, then why didn’t he tell me?” she yelled angrily. Tears sprang to her eyes again.

  “He didn’t want to scare you, okay? Just calm down!” Cy burst in return, avoiding her relentless assault.

  “That’s not good enough! He wouldn’t keep anything from me!” she screamed.

  Her attacks became even more futile as her emotions raged uncontrollably. She nearly fell on her face, but Cy caught her arm and held her up. She swiped at him, and he released her. She stumbled back and glared at Cy.

  “Please. You barely knew anything about him! I was there for everything, but that never mattered! When his house blew up, that was my grand entrance, but I’ve been backstage ever since. Every time he got his ass kicked by Kraven, every time he nearly gave up on himself, I was there. When he took you to the castle, when he… kissed you… I was there for the whole thing! Hell, I’m the one that pretty much talked him into killing that Mage in Centric!”

  Kaitlyn froze at his rant. She had expected his temper, but had assumed he would get violent, not vocal. She took a step back from him, her resolve to attack slipping. Her stomach twisted, and he pressed a shaking hand to her mouth.

  “He killed someone?” she whispered. “He wouldn’t do that. I know him, I know Arion wouldn’t—”

  “You knew what he wanted you to. He was the person you expected him to be when you were around, but it wasn’t Arion. Not after that, at least. The killing is what changed him. I’m sure you remember how that turned out. Or have you just blocked out the image of Arion tearing Kraven’s heart out with his bare hands?”

  Kaitlyn shook her head violently. “You’re lying. You’re just trying to trick me again. It’s not true!”

  “Believe whatever you want, but you’ll see for yourself when he comes back. The Arion you thought you knew has been gone for a long time. Now, are you finished with your tantrum yet?” Cy hissed impatiently. He took a step towards her, and she staggered away from him.

  “And what about Theresa, huh? If her son trusted you, then why wouldn’t she?” she spat. She put all of her strength into one last punch, aimed straight for Cy’s face.

  He caught her arm viciously, an irate scowl on his face. He twisted her arm behind her and grabbed her around her waist to restrain her. “If I knew the answer to that, I’d tell you,” he growled.

  His metal was frigid against her body, and the constantly moving parts ground her skin. Thick steam furled from his nostrils, and she choked on it. “And for the record, Arion’s not her only son.”

  Cy released her with a shove and stomped away from her. She stumbled forward and whirled to face him, the fire in her quickly dwindling. “What do you mean he’s not her only son?”

  “Arion’s not an only child. He’s not even the oldest. But of course, no one cares, not even Theresa!” Cy threw his hands to his sides. His gears whirred violently, and his metal body rattled. Kaitlyn watched him puncture his palms with his talons, though he didn’t seem to notice.

  Kaitlyn was stunned by his words. She knew there could be only one explanation for his reaction, but it couldn’t be true. “How could you…”

  She was unsure how to finish her question.

  Cy understood her perfectly, and his anger dimmed. “I wasn’t born like Arion was. She made me, out of her magic instead of blood. But that never made me any less of her son, not until she got pregnant. Then I became nothing more than a demon, and she locked me inside that damned box.”

  Cy cast his gaze to the ground. He took a shaky breath, and it whistled through the metal. He exhaled a bout of thick steam, his temper burnt out. “I knew from the very start who he was, and I wanted to kill him, so I never told him the truth. He didn’t know until the end, when it was already too late. If I would’ve told him, he might not have gotten as bad as he did.”

  There was a long moment of silence before Kaitlyn found the strength to speak again, “Theresa was chained in the cell that night. And that smoke was you, wasn’t it?”

  Cy nodded without looking up.

  “Arion was— the basement was a mess, and there were signs of his magic everywhere. He hurt her, didn’t he? He really did get so bad that he would—”

  Kaitlyn broke off at Cy’s expression. It told her that everything she had been thinking, all of her fears had been real. If he really had lost it, why did he let Kraven kill him? He should’ve fought, more than ever! He tortured the town with those storms, attacked his own mother, but he couldn’t kill the one person left that was damaging him?

  The new information, and the questions it brought, left a pit in her stomach. Did I ever actually know him at all?

  Kaitlyn glanced at Cy. His head was still hung and his shoulders slumped. He was motionless. Kaitlyn wondered if he was resting. She still had one more question

  “Do you still want to kill him? How can I be sure that you’ve changed since then?”

  Cy raised his head then. His eyes held all the answers she needed. In the depths of them was the same darkness that had been flooding her own vision. He felt guilty for Arion's death as well.

  “It was my anger that drove him to the edge. He had given up on everything, especially himself. Despite all that, he worked to make this body for me every day. I was just a demon to him. He shouldn’t have had any reason to do this, but he did.

  “The kid was a victim, not the problem. We were both abandoned by Theresa, but I didn’t see it like that. I was childish and selfish. I really needed to grow up and start acting my age.” Cy ended with a forced laugh.

  “How old are you?” Kaitlyn asked sheepishly, her curiosity getting the better of her.

  Cy stared at her a moment, before looking away and answering, “I turned eighteen a couple days ago, on the thirteenth.”

  “October thirteenth? That’s Arion’s birthday, and the day…”

  Kaitlyn didn’t bother finishing.

  Cy nodded at her. He stared at the sky and watched the clouds as they rolled by. Kaitlyn took the opportunity of his distraction to study him again. She had gotten used to the metal body easier than she thought possible, and could now distinguish his emotions. It surprised her how well she could read layers of metal, but she reminded herself that he was more than that. He was a living thing, just as wrought with emotions as she was.

  And he was weak. Despite his demeanor, Kaitlyn knew exactly where to find the answers.

  His body may not be normal, but his eyes are just as expressive as a human’s.

  Cy turned away from her and headed back into the house. “The sun's beginning to set. We should leave within the hour. I sugge
st using it to rest up one last time. We aren't stopping until we reach Mount Draken.”

  He slipped into the house silently. Kaitlyn followed after a moment. She wandered to the arm chair and plopped into it. She hadn't properly appreciated the plushness of the chair the night before, being too exhausted to do anything other than sleep. She sank into the thick cushions of the chair and it formed around her like an embrace. She closed her eyes and rested her cheek against the back of the chair. Though she found great comfort and relief, her mind was far from silent.

  Rest? How does he expect me to rest after all of that?

  She thought over all she had learned, unable to believe it. Despite her best efforts to deny it, the gnawing feeling in her stomach told her it was true. She had been so worried about Arion for years, but he had always disproved all of her theories.

  Arion was good at hiding. He always had been. She knew that, but she never thought he would keep so much from her. She loved him, but if he was never the person she loved, then what did she feel?

  She didn’t fear him. That could never happen. No matter what he had done, or who he had been, he had never done anything to hurt or scare her. But she couldn’t say for sure if she loved him or not anymore. She wouldn’t know until he returned, and she learned more about who he really was.

  In the silence, she found herself singing the lullaby hidden within Arion’s music box. He would often hum it under his breath, and Kaitlyn doubted he realized he was doing it. She had memorized the tune easily. She now hoped it might be able to lull her to sleep.

  Footsteps sounded behind her, and she halted her song abruptly. With a sigh, she said, “I know, I know. I’m supposed to be resting up, but I just can’t—”

  She was grabbed from behind fiercely, and a hand clamped over her mouth.

  Kaitlyn

  Kaitlyn struggled under her abductor’s grip, but she had been caught off guard and they were too strong for her. She opened her mouth to scream out, and the hand pressed against the corners of her mouth painfully. She couldn’t scream, or bite, only choked. She lashed out with her legs, but they made no contact.