Yesterday's Promise

by Cheryl St. John

  Cassie moved with him when he tried to pull away. A small moan escaped her throat, and she stroked her tongue over his lower lip. Heath opened his mouth and let her decide how far she wanted to explore. The tip of her tongue slid across his lips several times before slipping inside. He fought against his instincts to allow her to control the kiss.

  The tentative glide of her tongue over his sent heat roaring through his body. His reaction would be hard to miss if she got too close. He eased back and rested his forehead against hers. “Wow. I hate to be the realist, but we need to cool off. Let’s keep our original plan and go to dinner.” He stepped back to admire her appearance. This was the first time he’d seen her completely dolled up. “You look amazing.”

  A flush crept up her neck and she ducked her head. “Thank you.”

  He curled a finger under her chin and lifted her head. “We need to work on you accepting a compliment. You’re a beautiful woman and this won’t be the last time a man compliments you. Smile, give a gracious nod, then say thank you. That’s all. Trust me.”

  Cassie smiled and nodded. “Thank you.” She paused. “Is that better?”

  “Perfect.” He offered his arm. “May I escort you to dinner?”

  Playing along, she placed her hand on his arm. “Yes, please.”

  The restaurant Cassie had chosen had an excellent menu. Somehow they kept their conversations on neutral topics. He wasn’t sure if they were both trying to keep their sexual attraction from escalating or if it was just his imagination. “Would you like dessert?”

  “I shouldn’t, but I looked at their selection online. They have a decadent chocolate molten lava cake that I’d love to try, but I need to share it.” She shot him a pleading look. “Please.”

  He laughed. This was the first time she let him see her playful side and he loved it. Love? Where the hell had that come from? “I’ll admit I don’t eat many sweets, but I’d be happy to share the cake with you.”

  He enjoyed watching her appreciation of the sweet concoction, but there were other things he’d rather taste. Like her. He worked hard to keep his libido in check. Their earlier encounter had his senses on overload. Every look and touch heightened his awareness of her.

  She insisted on paying. While he didn’t feel comfortable letting her do that, he didn’t want to come off as a male chauvinist. Once they left the restaurant, she turned toward the elevators in the hotel where the restaurant was located. “Cassie you’re going the wrong direction.”

  A bright flush crept up her neck. Reaching back, she threaded her fingers through his and tugged. “No, I’m not.” After taking a deep breath she lifted her gaze to his and she continued. “I rented a room.”

  Stunned, he attempted to corral his thoughts. She reserved a hotel room? Where did that come from? His imagination leapt into overdrive and his body came to attention. He fought to ask the proper questions. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel you have to do this.”

  She flashed him a tentative smile. “I want this. Here we have privacy and the time to explore whatever there is between us.”

  Heath didn’t know how he should feel about her offer. Her hand trembled within his grasp, and he pulled her close. “We don’t have to do anything tonight. There is no timetable for starting a physical relationship.”

  She nodded and leaned forward to give him a kiss. “I know, but I’m ready. I’m nervous, but only because I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  He brushed a strand of her silky hair behind her ear. Keeping his gazed locked with hers, he leaned down and gave her a slow sensual kiss. He didn’t know if making love was a good idea, so he’d watch her closely. If she showed any sign of uncertainty, they’d stop. When he pulled back, he studied her expression. She looked remarkably calm. “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s go upstairs.”

  #

  Cassie woke to a heavy weight around her waist. Keeping her eyes closed, she waited for her other senses to wake enough to determine where she was. The heat and solid muscle of the body spooned behind her registered and she relaxed. Heath. She opened her eyes and took in the hotel room. Trying not to move, she glanced over her shoulder.

  Even in slumber the man was gorgeous. Last night had been incredible. Now she understood how great it could be with the right man. Her previous experience had been nothing special, but Heath had brought her to ecstasy several times before he took his own pleasure. His lovemaking had made her feel special and loved.

  Love? Oh crap. It was too soon to be thinking about love. Wasn’t it? They’d only know each other three months. Could someone really fall in love that quickly?

  Heath stirred, and his arm tightened around her waist. When he pulled her closer, his erection pressed against her back. “Morning sunshine.” He nuzzled her neck. “How’re you feeling today?”

  “Good.” She paused. “No that’s not right.” She turned to face him and stroked her finger along his jaw. His morning stubble abraded her skin. “I feel incredible. Last night was wonderful.” She kissed him.

  A slow and sexy grin spread across his face. “I agree. But you didn’t answer my question. Are you okay?”

  Cassie took stock of all the small aches and pains when she moved. “I’m sore in a few places, but they’re welcome aches.”

  “Last night was wonderful.” He paused. “You are so special. I’ve never felt so close to anyone until I met you.”

  Warmth spread through her. “I’ve never been special to anyone until now.” She drew a long breath then spoke before she over-thought her words. “I know it’s too soon, but I love you. You make my life better in every way. I’m not asking for a commitment. I wanted to let you know what I’m feeling right now. No pressure. We can see where our feelings take us. We have time.”

  Surprise flashed in his eyes before he looked down. When he looked up, he’d masked his expression. “I need to be honest with you. I don’t know if I really believe in love. What I do know is that I care deeply for you, and I would do anything in my power to keep you safe.” He glanced to the side for a long moment before returning his gaze to her. “If that’s love then, yes I love you.”

  Some Days Are Diamonds

  Spring 1965

  Spencer, Colorado

  The remaining sides of an old, partially collapsed barn shaded Willa Taylor from the bright sunlight washing over the high mountain valley. She’d recreated this scene with oils or pastels, yet every time she waited here for Jakob, she discovered a new angle or intriguing shadow on the surrounding mountains. She dreaded the moment when the barn would be torn down to make way for the secluded cabins planned as part of the new Aspen Gold Lodge.

  Jakob Spencer’s dream was larger than the man himself and he’d been determined to create a place where privacy and security were as important to guests as the views of the glorious Rocky Mountains. Four years ago, it had been her dream as well.

  The realities of doing business on such a grand scale had set in but did little to dampen Jakob’s determination. He’d sought investors willing to underwrite the construction of an exclusive hotel on his family’s land. It hadn’t taken long for a Denver businessman to see promise in Jakob and profitability in the lodge.

  Soon, with the Burnham heiress at his side, Jakob had attracted serious investors. Although there was no love between them, her father had a contract drawn up, and the couple married. In exchange for financing and profitable connections, Jakob and Marguerite would produce a male heir to inherit Burnham Enterprises.

  Willa wrapped her arms around her calves and rested her forehead against her knees. She’d put Jakob’s needs before her own and encouraged him to sign that contract. How naïve they’d been to believe his marriage to another woman would have no effect on their love.

  Unfortunately, after the birth of a daughter, Marguerite’s outward pleasant persona had given way to a deeply angry and vindictive bitch, who used everything and everyone around her to her own advantage. Jakob loved his daugh
ter, but now Marguerite used the toddler to punish and control her husband.

  Willa had attempted to end her relationship with Jakob then but hadn’t been strong enough to give him up. Now, because of her, Jakob bore the brunt of his wife’s anger and hatred, hiding the truth of his misery behind the façade of success. Convinced Jakob didn’t tell her everything, Willa was certain her relationship with Jakob was the source of many confrontations.

  Marguerite didn’t want Jakob. But no one else could have him either.

  Although the decision Willa had struggled with the past week weighed heavily on her shoulders, she was making the right choice. At least the resulting pressure surrounding her heart kept it from breaking.

  The soft thud of hoofbeats made her raise her head. She couldn’t help her grin as Jakob rode into view, slipped from the saddle, and looped the reigns over a low tree branch. Admiring the fit of his jeans and his easy movements she banished her concerns and eased to her feet.

  Determined to make the most of these last moments, she raced into Jakob’s open arms. She welcomed his kisses, the glide of his hand over her bare arm, and fought to separate need and lust from desperation. This moment, this now was theirs and she refused to share it with the future.

  Chuckling, Jakob lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. His kisses made her breathless, but she didn’t need air. Only him.

  Hands splayed across her bottom, he carried her into the cool shadows of the barn. Patchy sunlight highlighted the pile of hay covered with old blankets. No one but them ever came here. Their love nest remained undisturbed. He eased them down and the dry hay crackled with their frantic movements. Undressing, touching, and finally when the need became too much, their bodies came together as one.

  ***

  The splotches of sunlight had moved across the barn and even in Jakob’s arms, the breeze easing around the broken boards chilled Willa. When she slipped from his side, he growled a complaint and pulled her back to nestle against his warm body. After a long pause, he kissed her temple. “We need to talk.”

  Yes, they did. “Not like this. I can’t talk to you when all I want is to make love with you again. Get dressed, Jakob.”

  “Yes, my love.”

  With her clothing armor in place, Willa sat next to Jakob under a tree. His horse munched contentedly on the apple she’d brought along for a snack. The thought of eating soured in her stomach. How did she start this conversation?

  “You still have straw in your hair.” He tickled the end of her nose with the bit he’d tugged from her hair. “Have I told you how much I love your long hair? How I love to lose my fingers in the silky length?”

  She batted at his hand then took the straw and bent it in half. And in half again, breaking it into tiny pieces. Her heart. This was her heart breaking.

  Jakob cleared his throat, then rested his forearms on his bent knees and dug his bare toes into the dirt. “It was hard when she left this morning. I could see through the car’s back window. Zoe was reaching over the nanny’s shoulders for me. She wanted to stay. She wanted me. And I let her go. Marguerite’s using our daughter against me. And now...”

  Willa held her breath and waited for him to continue. His head dropped forward then he turned his face to look at her. The pain in his eyes had her reaching for him but she pulled back her hand before touching him.

  “Just before she left, Marguerite dropped a bombshell. She’s pregnant. Her father’s been pressuring her to produce a male heir. She didn’t tell me she stopped taking the pill. I had no idea this could happen.”

  Another baby? Deep in her heart Willa had known there would be another child. Even without his father-in-law's meddling, Jakob wanted a male heir. She fought to ignore the mocking knowledge that she could have been Jakob’s wife. She could have been the one to have babies with him. But she’d put his needs, his future before her own and insisted he marry Marguerite—and her family’s money.

  She’d regretted her insistence immediately, but had stood firm against Jakob’s pleading and arguments. Now he was well on the way to success with the new lodge. And his growing family. She’d given up the right to be jealous. Or spiteful. She rested her hand on his arm and managed a smile.

  “That’s wonderful news, Jakob.”

  Covering her hand with his, he gave a rueful snort. “I guess. What it means for her is another child to use to keep me under her control. Especially if that child is a boy.”

  “She can’t control your whole life.”

  “Maybe not, but enough that I can’t ignore her. She keeps a tight rein on the money her father invested. Has final approval on every step of the process. Every step of our lives. Marrying her was a mistake, my love. I should be with you.”

  While she wished for the same, it would never have been possible. He’d needed a huge influx of funding to even start building the lodge. His marriage had provided that. As well as connections for both further financial needs and for the success of the lodge once it opened. She shook her head. “We’ve been over this too many times, Jakob. We can’t change the past.”

  “I’ll divorce her.”

  “No, you won’t. She would take everything from you. The lodge, the land you already owned. Your children. Think of Zoe and the new baby. How would you feel to never be able to see them again?”

  The answer in his pain-filled expression stole her breath. There would be no winning in this situation. For either of them. She cupped his cheek. “You would hate yourself if you followed that path.” She paused. “You would come to hate me for forcing that decision on you.”

  “I could never—”

  Covering his lips with her fingers, she shook her head. “You would.”

  He kissed her fingers. “Never. No matter how we’re forced to sneak around, there’s no room for hate in us, Willa. There will be a way for us to be together someday. We’ll make our own family—and that family will include my children with her. I vow this, my love.”

  Willa drew back her hand and cradled it against her chest. Why did he have to make this harder than it already was. “Don’t make vows you can’t keep.”

  He cocked his head to one side and studied her. His eyes narrowed. “What’s wrong? There’s something you’re holding back.”

  Damn the man and his astute skills of observation. While those stood him well in business, it meant she could rarely hide anything from him. Not that she would. She wasn’t like his wife. Willa expelled a long, slow breath. Now or never—and never wasn’t an option.

  “Do you remember when I applied to the (french school name)?”

  Capturing her hand again, he nodded. “They were idiots to turn you down. Your paintings are amazing.”

  “You’re a bit prejudiced, don’t you think?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe, but I know quality when I see it. If I can work it around Marguerite, I want some of your landscapes to hang in the lodge.”

  The thrill of excitement at such an honor nearly distracted her from her purpose. He’d probably change his mind now anyway.

  When she smiled at him, he frowned. “Willa? What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

  The words rushed from her before she lost her nerve. “I’ve been accepted and I leave for Paris tomorrow.”

  He released her hand and stood. Hands on his lean hips, he stared down at her for a long moment then his frown eased. “Congratulations. What an honor. You’ll be gone what? A couple of months? It’ll be difficult, but I’ll survive.”

  Willa took his outstretched hand and allowed him to pull her into his embrace. Resting her cheek against his chest, she listened to the strong beat of his heart, storing the comforting sound in her memory. If only this moment could last forever.

  With a backward step, she found the distance she needed to continue. “I’ll be gone a minimum of two years.”

  Jakob’s eyes narrowed. “So long?”

  “It’s a special course of study.” Now, as long as he didn’
t press for details she was safe. “I had to reply immediately, and the session begins next Monday, so I need to leave tomorrow.”

  “Where will you live? How?”

  She offered what she hoped was a genuine smile. “The school maintains apartments for students. Luckily there was one available. I’ll live there just as I do here in Spencer. I know enough French to get by, and I’m sure I’ll learn more there. Because I’ll have to.”

  “But two years?”

  She shrugged one shoulder. “At a minimum. I could be selected to continue longer as a student.”

  The green of Jakob’s eyes dulled to a subdued mossy color. Oh, how she hated causing such sadness.

  “I’ll come visit you.”

  “No, you can’t.”

  “Willa? Why?”

  “Do you really think Margaurite would allow you to escape to Europe to visit your... lover? If you did leave Colorado, imagine what she might do to your plans, maybe even to the lodge itself. No, Jakob. You may not visit me in France.”

  The toll those words took on her nearly crumbled Willa to the ground. She dared not even look at Jakob now. Discovering some last bastion of strength, she turned toward her car. “I’ve got last minute packing and things to do. I need to get going.”

  “Willa, wait.”

  She paused but refused to face Jakob.

  “One last kiss, my love?”

  “Not a good idea, Jakob.” Shaking her head, Willa stumbled forward. Somehow she made it to the car, slipped into the driver’s seat and started the engine before she looked in the rearview mirror. He stood where she’d left him, arms reaching for her, the pain of rejection twisting his features. She couldn’t stop the tears blurring her vision as she drove away.

  I love you, Jakob.

  Late Summer 1965

  Paris, France

  A day without scheduled classes should have been filled with exploration of the Paris streets, or a visit to a gallery or museum. Instead, Willa sat at a small table in her favorite (café) trying to make sense out of the possibilities running amuck through her jumbled thoughts. The latest weekly letter from Jakob lay open on the table, covering the notes she’d made after a visit to the clinic. She hoped fate was enjoying the joke—because she wasn’t.