Highland Temptations: Boxed Set: Books 1-3

by Adams, Aileen

  Shana touched her arm as she passed. “I understand. And I would tell him we ought to leave if he did not want to. I wouldn’t put you in harm’s way for anything.”

  Davina’s hand covered hers. “I do hope ye find safety. And more.”

  Shana snorted as Davina returned to work. “What more is there for me?”

  “What more do ye wish for?”

  “Wishes?” Shana snorted again. “I’ve not believed in wishes for many years.”

  “Do ye pray, then?”

  “I do.”

  “What have ye prayed for?”

  “Most recently, protection. Safety. To escape Jacob Stuart.”

  “And ye did. And ye have what ye prayed for—or will, soon enough. From what my husband tells me, William Blackheath is a brave fighter. Fiercely determined. He would not allow harm to come to ye.”

  “I know he would do his very best to protect me.” Shana played with the empty mug, unable to look her hostess in the eye as she voiced her doubts. It felt downright disloyal to doubt the man who’d already done so much for her, yet there was no silencing her fears. They tugged at her, prickling the back of her neck, tapping at the back of her mind.

  What if he simply wasn’t enough?

  Davina merely shook her head. “Ye need not fear. He’ll get ye to safety soon enough. After he does, perhaps ye can give thought to what else ye pray for.”

  They exchanged a knowing look before Shana averted her gaze again. It was as though the woman read her thoughts, and the feeling was not a pleasant one.

  Especially as Shana did not understand her feelings. Not one bit.

  “I could never have anything like you do,” she whispered, and the desire to weep suddenly swelled in her chest. She suppressed it, barely, her voice catching a bit but nothing more.

  “Nonsense!”

  “You said it yourself. When you first saw me…”

  “I was wrong.”

  “Why did you know you were wrong? Because you saw me with Drew. There will not always be a Drew or a Rufus or even a William to speak on my behalf. I have nothing now. No one. I shall never find my family and no one will take me in.”

  “Who’s to say ye will not have William to speak for ye?”

  Shana scoffed. “He’s eager to be rid of me, and I canna pretend I blame him. I’ve been nothing but a burden on him since the beginning.”

  “I wonder if he truly feels as ye believe he does.” Davina wrapped cheese, fruit, vegetables in cloth and placed them alongside the bread. She was more generous than Shana knew women like her could be. It was nearly enough to make her question what she believed.

  Were all people as cruel as she’d seen? Were there more kind, generous souls such as the woman bustling about her kitchen, making sure her guests had enough to sustain them on their journey?

  “How could he feel otherwise?”

  The corners of Davina’s mouth quirked upward as though she was about to smile, but stopped herself. “A man does not often put himself in harm’s way for a woman he cares nothing for. That is all I shall say on the matter.”

  “He cares nothing for me.”

  “Why go to this trouble, then?” Davina looked her in the eye, brows lifted in challenge. “Why take ye home with him? He might have turned ye over to the law and allowed them to have their way with ye, or he might have taken ye back to the Stuarts when he heard of the price on your head. Aye, Rufus told me about it,” she added when Shana’s mouth fell open in surprise. “Would it not have been easier for him to simply turn ye in? Or do ye believe the man had nothing better to do with his time than race across the Highlands with ye?”

  The man in question entered the kitchen then, looking sheepish. “Ye ought to have woken me,” he said over a yawn, scrubbing a hand over reddish dark blond hair which stuck out in all directions.

  Shana tried to respond but found her tongue tied in knots. Davina’s simple reminder made all the sense in the world. Why did he choose to protect her when he might have turned her over as one of the group of raiders? Why go to the trouble of caring for her wounds?

  Davina stepped in when Shana remained silent. “’Tis still early; the sun has not yet risen. We did not wish to wake ye.”

  William looked to Shana. “We’ll have to be on our way soon.”

  “I know. I suppose I’m ready whenever you are.”

  “And how are your feet?”

  “They look better already,” Davina assured him. “I helped apply more salve and have boiled the old bandages. They’re drying now.”

  “You’ve done more before I woke than I sometimes do in the course of a morning,” he marveled, looking over the kitchen.

  “’Tis nothing for a woman, ye lie-about,” Davina said with a giggle, and Shana joined her.

  It was another hour before they took their leave, and when they did, Shana was wearing a freshly washed tunic and trews, along with a plaid tam under which she’d tucked her curls. She also wore a pair of Drew’s old boots, with her feet bound in extra bandages to make them fit better.

  “These will do until ye reach your destination.” Davina winked.

  Shana’s throat closed as emotion swept over her. “I don’t know how to thank you. Words cannot express…”

  “Dinna worry yourself, my dear.” Davina hugged her tight. “I’ll pray for ye both.”

  “And I shall do the same for ye. Both of ye,” Shana whispered in her ear, making Davina giggle softly.

  Clyde, the surprisingly large man who rarely spoke, had groomed the horse for them. “God be with ye,” he murmured, a bit shy and soft-spoken for one of his size. Shana wondered if there was any end to the surprises these strangers held.

  They were no longer strangers, she reminded herself as William helped her into the saddle. They were friends. Perhaps her first friends, and now, she hoped they would not be her last.

  A funny thing, that. She’d never considered friendship before. She had her family, both those closest to her and her extended cousins and such. They were all they needed. Close-knit, protective of each other, unwilling to leave themselves vulnerable to the abuse of outsiders.

  Yet that way of thinking left them without the assistance of outsiders. There were good people in the world. William helped her when there was nothing for him to gain. Davina had all but given her the very dress off her back; had it not been decided that Shana would be better off dressing as a lad, she might well have done so.

  And it was clear, Drew still wished to put an end to Jacob Stuart’s life. “Let me ride along with ye,” he offered. “Two of us would be better than one.”

  “You’re needed here, and I would not put ye in any greater chance of danger.” William mounted behind her. “Besides, this is something I need to do on my own.”

  Shana asked herself what he meant but held her tongue.

  The first beams of light were just breaching the horizon when they started off from the house, weighed down with food and freshly washed and rested. For the first time in a long time, a small flame of hope flickered in Shana’s heart.

  And for the first time, leaving a place filled her with regret. Especially when Rufus slid an arm about his wife’s waist, and she rested her head on his shoulder as they watched the horse walk away.

  13

  “You’re verra quiet, lass.”

  They’d been riding half the day, moving slowly through the woods rather than taking the road and making much better time. The weather was clear, at least, if not a bit cooler than he would have preferred.

  “Am I?” She sounded as though she were coming out of a dream. He recalled their whispered conversation when she was half-asleep and how he’d longed to touch her. How dangerous that impulse was.

  The fact that she was at present nestled against his chest did not help matters.

  “Are ye well? Do ye need to stop and rest?”

  “No,” she insisted with a shake of her head. Riding without her hair blowing about in his face was a pleasant change,
anyway, and he wished he thought to give her his tam before then.

  Although now when he looked down, he saw the curve of her neck, her dark skin, so smooth and…

  And he needed a woman. Anyone but this woman. Would it be possible to see to his needs somewhere? Unlikely. And possibly dangerous.

  Yet no more dangerous than giving in to his growing attachment to her.

  “How do you know Rufus? And Drew?”

  “Rufus fought along with Richard and myself against the loyalists. And many other men, of course. When his land was stolen from his brother, he wished to take a group of men along when he reclaimed it. I recommended Alec, Tyrone, Clyde.”

  “What of Drew?”

  William laughed. “Everyone knows Drew, it seems. He was one of many we met during the fighting. Those of us who survived tend to protect and care for each other when we can.”

  “They seem like decent men. It is a wonder Drew found you. We needed them.”

  “We did,” he agreed, “though I suppose we could have gotten along well on our own. I did find the salve for your wounds, remember.”

  “I remember.”

  She was a woman humoring a man, but he could accept it as a sign they were getting along better.

  He followed the sound of running water until they reached a rushing stream which, based upon where they’d come from, he supposed flowed from the River Conon. If only they could travel over roads, they might reach Richard’s castle by the following evening. Instead, their slow path through the woods meant it would be at least twice that long.

  “We’d best stop here for a bit,” he announced, noting the sun’s presence directly overhead and the sound of his empty stomach’s growls. “I can hardly wait to open some of what Davina packed for us. It’s been on my mind since we left the farm.”

  She fell silent again. “What is it?” he asked. “What bothers ye? Did someone say something to upset ye back there?”

  “Not at all. Everyone was kind.” Yet there was a weakness in her voice, a troubled note. He helped her from the saddle and noted how she did not wince when her feet touched the ground.

  He could nearly taste his relief. She would be well. For some reason, this meant more to him than he’d ever expected.

  Before he could express this, she looked up into his eyes. “What did you mean when you said this is something you must do yourself? When Drew asked if he could ride with us.”

  This caught him by surprise. “I knew there was something on your mind. Have ye already forgotten what we spoke of last night? We must be honest with each other.”

  “I agree. I need you to be honest with me. What did you mean?”

  He shrugged, turning away to tend to the horse. “I meant nothing more than what I said.”

  “Do you believe that was wise? Do you think that perhaps, we could have used another man on this journey? So you would not have to fight alone?”

  “Do ye not think I can handle myself? Have I not already proven myself to ye?”

  “It isn’t a matter of proving yourself to me. Why can you not see that?”

  He ignored this. “Ye also forgot my telling him I did not wish to put him in danger. Does that mean nothing?”

  “Of course, it does, and I agree with you.”

  “Well?”

  She groaned, throwing her hands into the air. “I cannot speak with you. You don’t listen.”

  “I’m listening.” He led the horse to the stream and stroked its neck as it drank rather than look her in the eye. This was what he’d dreaded, and what he ought to have prepared himself to explain.

  “Nay. You’re merely waiting until you can speak, which is not the same. If you would cease needing to defend yourself at every turn, we could understand each other better. I only want to understand you.”

  “What do ye wish to understand?”

  “What did you mean when you said that? Those were my words. That was my question. I wish to know nothing more than this. What did you mean? Is this all a matter of you being too proud to accept help?”

  “Of course, it is not a matter of that. This is too important for pride.”

  “What is it, then?”

  He turned away, knowing there was no hope of explaining to her exactly why he’d spoken as he had. She would certainly think the worst of him if he told her a seer had ordered this fool’s journey. “Leave it alone,” he muttered as he worked on opening the packs Davina had put together for them.

  “No. I will not!” Her hand was surprisingly strong for one so small—or, perhaps more likely, sheer frustration gave her the strength she required to turn him to face her. “Because you won’t tell me why you said it—and then tell me to leave it alone—I know there must be a reason! Tell me!”

  “I dinna have to tell ye anything!” He shook off her hand, willing himself to ignore the throb of emotion in her voice. What was it about the woman that made him want so badly to hold and comfort her?

  She fell back a step, horror twisting her features. “You pretend to be a good man. You’ve lied to me all along. I should have known better.”

  “What? Calm yourself.”

  She did not appear to hear him, for her horror did not lessen. “You want us to be alone because you plan to use me. Isn’t that right? That’s been your plan all along. You never planned to take me to safety. You’re leading me to my doom!”

  “Nay! Lass, that is the furthest thing from my mind!” He went to her, arms outstretched. What he thought he would do if he reached her, he could not say, but she backed away.

  “Do not come near me, you devil! I knew you were no better than the rest! That is why you wished for us to be alone rather than being smart and taking help when offered!”

  “I dinna intend to harm ye! Keep your voice down.”

  “Why? Are you afraid someone will find us and take me away and collect the reward you plan to have for yourself?”

  “Silence, damn ye!” He held his head in his hands. “I didna wish to tell ye because I didna think ye would understand.”

  “You’re correct. I do not understand.”

  “I went to a seer!” And there it was. Though now he knew there was something much worse than her thinking him daft, and that was listening to her screaming and carrying on. He would do anything to bring that to an end.

  She went still, her mouth open as if she’d been about to scream again but his confession had silenced her. Her eyelids fluttered rapidly. “A seer? What does a seer have to do with this?”

  He patted the horse’s neck in an effort to calm him, since the lass’s tirade had caused no small amount of anxious prancing and ear twitching. “First, ye must know something. Ye were correct when ye accused me of not being a good man. Ye called me a devil. Perhaps I am. I have not lived a good life. I’ve done what I could do be decent, but the man I killed—the one holding ye, the morning after ye escaped—was hardly the first man to fall because of my dirk. I’ve killed many men. I was even glad to do it at times. And I trained other men to do the same.”

  “To murder? Are you an assassin?”

  “Nay, lass.” Even now, he had to laugh. “I’m a soldier. A guardsman. I train other men to guard Laird Richard, his castle, his lands. It is my responsibility to make certain they take no chances. This means taking prisoners, but more often, killing anyone who poses a threat to the laird. I canna tell ye how many men have died because of me. And I have certainly never cared or even gave it a moment’s thought until just now.”

  “What does this have to do with me?”

  “I merely wished for ye to understand a bit about me when I tell ye why I searched for ye. It was not because I’d heard of a lass captured by the Stuarts. I was already searching. I had been riding for days before I heard of ye.”

  “You… were searching for me? Why me?”

  “A seer told me to find ye. Och, it sounds worse than I thought it would.”

  He looked from the horse to her in time to see her sit heavily on a moss-covered boul
der.

  “A seer. You do not strike me as the sort of person to visit seers.”

  “I am not, normally. But ye haunted my dreams for weeks—someone begging for help, that is. I could not sleep. It took everything in me to stay awake or think clearly. I began to question whether I could perform my duties to the best of my ability, whether I was putting others in danger by training in the state I was in. I could have wounded them or myself.”

  “I see.”

  “Nay, ye dinna, but I dinna expect ye to, yet.” He sat across from her, watching the way her face changed as she took this in. That she did not believe him was plain to see.

  That she may have feared him a bit was also clear, and that bothered him a great deal more.

  “I heard a voice in my dreams—nightmares, really. Begging me for help. I knew not who needed me or why, but… I knew it was a lass, and she was in terrible danger. The way ye know when you’re dreaming, ye ken?” She nodded. “Every night it was the same. A woman, begging for my help. I could not quite see her, but I knew she needed me.”

  “And you went to a seer?”

  “I went to many seers, all because a determined old woman decided I ought to. They were all wrong until the last one. The one who told me I must look for ye, that I would never rest until I found ye. So, I left my home and rode south, as she told me to do. It was—” He cast about for the right words to use. “It was faith, I suppose, though I’ve never paid much of a mind to such matters. I believe in what I can see and touch. But it was better than suffering through one sleepless night after another, wondering if my dreams were real and there truly was a woman in desperate need of my help. If only one night had passed without hearing those pleas, I might have told myself it was imagination and nothing more. But it was every night. I even saw and heard her when I was awake, whenever I closed my eyes. The images and sounds haunted my every waking moment until I left to find her. Yourself.”

  All the while, he waited for her to react. He watched her in the vain hope that the disbelief on her face would turn to understanding—if not gratitude. Or amazement.