Hope in Front of Me

by Danny Gokey

  NavPress is the publishing ministry of The Navigators, an international Christian organization and leader in personal spiritual development. NavPress is committed to helping people grow spiritually and enjoy lives of meaning and hope through personal and group resources that are biblically rooted, culturally relevant, and highly practical.

  For a free catalog go to www.NavPress.com

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  © 2013 by Daniel J. Gokey

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without written permission from NavPress, P.O. Box 35001, Colorado Springs, CO 80935. www.navpress.com

  NAVPRESS and the NAVPRESS logo are registered trademarks of NavPress. Absence of ® in connection with marks of NavPress or other parties does not indicate an absence of registration of those marks.

  ISBN-13: 978-1-61291-475-6 (hardback)

  ISBN-13: 978-1-61291-613-2 (paperback)

  Cover design by Faceout Studio, Charles Brock

  Cover photo by Kristin Barlowe

  Some of the anecdotal illustrations in this book are true to life and are included with the permission of the persons involved. All other illustrations are composites of real situations, and any resemblance to people living or dead is coincidental. Names have been changed to protect the people involved.

  All Scripture quotations in this publication are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version® (NIV®). Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.®

  Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

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  This book is dedicated to everyone who knows they have more deep down inside of them but are broken, disappointed, and wounded. I hope that through my story you find encouragement, greater resolve, and the inner fight to push forward.

  Contents

  Foreword

  Acknowledgments

  Introduction

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Conclusion

  About the Author

  Connect with Danny Gokey

  About Sophia’s Heart

  Foreword

  Every person on this planet has a calling on their life. There is something so special and unique for every person, something that defines them. The world has been built by the dreams and aspirations of ordinary people. Oftentimes, people look upon the success of others and view it as an exclusive privilege open to just a select few. The truth is, not only is it possible to do what you love and thrive but it is your God-given calling.

  For as long as I have known Danny Gokey, he has been a man of integrity who understands his identity. He possesses great character and a powerful drive to succeed. He knows what he is passionate about, and he is unafraid to pursue his dreams no matter how hard or demanding that may be. Danny does not compromise his values when the world tries to change him. He is constantly focused on God’s calling, and this is what drives his thoughts and actions.

  Everybody has something great that they were destined to do with their life. To be truly satisfying, this cause must involve serving others. Many times, people gain all the things they dream of but still feel empty and unfulfilled. This is because if our dreams do not involve serving others, we will never feel complete. An amazing joy is released when helping someone; it is ingrained into our altruistic nature as human beings. To take advantage of our God-given calling, we must understand what we are passionate about and learn how to use that passion outwardly in service of others.

  When people look back on Danny’s life, they will see a legacy of compassion and generosity. Through his charity, Sophia’s Heart, Danny has helped so many people get back on their feet and rebuild their lives. He has worked tirelessly to help the less fortunate, providing them with temporary housing, job training, life skills, and food. Danny has been running this organization for only a short time, but the impact it has had on his community is undeniable, and he will reach even more people in the future. He has found a purpose that is bigger than himself — something that gives him a whole new outlook on life. This is the mentality of serving. When you live with a servant’s mind-set, you will constantly be searching for new ways to help and thinking of more efficient ways to do so. When you live with outstretched arms, you will always find greater opportunities and more abundant resources.

  Life is a wonderful mystery that takes many unexpected turns. Even the greatest saint will have times of heartache and pain. In these trying times, pain can either break us down or build us up. Life is what we make it; it is all about perspective. We can choose to see only heartache and misery, or we can be aware that such things are necessary parts of life, but they don’t have to control us. Without sorrow, happiness would have no meaning. Without loss, we would not understand what it means to gain something. This doesn’t mean we are supposed to be carefree and oblivious all of the time. It is true that there will be difficult situations, but how we face these difficult times, learn their lessons, and move on with greater wisdom is what defines us. Our quality of life is heavily influenced by our attitude; every day we make a decision to either embrace joy or give in to sadness. The choice is up to us.

  When I think of Danny, I see a man of great compassion and amazing courage. When he was met with unbelievable tragedy, he continued to persevere. His faith guided him through the darkness and opened up the unlimited possibilities of his future. By trusting in God, Danny found healing and a renewed purpose. It is so easy to give up and wallow in self-pity, but it takes a great deal of courage to move forward and build life anew in the face of tragedy. Life will not always work out the way we plan, and sometimes it feels impossible to let go of the pain. There is total comfort in knowing that God is guiding us every step of the way and is preparing a future of unlimited possibilities and abundant blessing.

  Danny is a perfect example of how to succeed by living a life of faith, integrity, and determination. God has blessed him with amazing talent, and he embraces that talent with passion and responsibility. He understands the value of hard work and determination and that no matter how difficult life may be, we must always fight for what we believe in. Danny is guided by his faith; he trusts that God has a plan for his life and that no matter what challenges he may face, there is always hope for a brighter day. He understands the importance of staying true to himself. He never forsakes his values, and he always treats others with respect. He has found the one thing he was called to do, and he uses his talents for the good of the world.

  When you do what you love, you will always find renewed inspiration. The only calling that matters is to be the solution to the world’s problems and constantly search for ways to serve others. That is how you find true happiness and live a complete, fulfilled life. The answer is right in front of you, if you would only embrace it.

  — Pastor Matthew Barnett,

  cofounder, The Dream Center

  Acknowledgments

  Thankful doesn’t begin to describe my appreciation for the people and circumstances over the course of my life that have been a part of writing my story and reali
zing my hopes and dreams.

  God, thank You for taking my brokenness and making something beautiful out of it.

  To my beautiful wife, Leyicet, you have always encouraged me. You and my son, Daniel, were the chapter in my book I could not see when my world fell apart.

  To my mom, dad, brother, and sisters, we’ve been through so much and have endured many painful moments together, but our bonds are stronger than ever and our best is yet to come.

  To Sophia’s family, thank you for taking me in and loving me like your own.

  To all my mentors and spiritual leaders who believed in me and helped me to become who I am today, thank you for investing in me.

  To Penny, thank you for always pushing me to be my best me and for your help making this book what it needed to be. You are a godsend.

  To Rebekah Guzman and the NavPress team, thank you for catching the vision for this project and your patience in allowing me to take the time I needed to perfect and finish the book. I truly appreciate the belief and support you’ve shown for Sophia’s Heart.

  To Ben Stroup, thank you for capturing my random stories, thoughts, and ideas and bringing them to life on the page. I know it was a huge effort, and I appreciate all of your efforts.

  To the staff and volunteers at Sophia’s Heart, the passion you all possess to see broken lives restored invigorates me. And to the families in our program at Sophia’s Heart past and present, you guys inspire me. I see God in you.

  Introduction

  Hope means nothing — unless it’s all you have. That’s what makes hope dangerous, unpredictable, and life changing. It can make us believe the impossible is possible, shielding the mind and guarding the heart from the difficulty right in front us. Without hope, our dreams seem out of reach, unlikely, and impossible.

  From preachers to peddlers, everyone seems to be selling some type of hope, and we are all ready to buy. We look for hope in others. We look for hope in the achievement of things like power, position, and prestige. But those who find true hope know it is found only when we look through the eyes of our hearts.

  Hope is the thread that runs through the fabric of our lives. We have all hoped for something. We celebrate when our hope connects us to something better. We are devastated when what we had hoped for doesn’t come to be in the time or way we expected. We hope because it feels as natural as breathing.

  No matter how outrageous or impossible, we can’t let go of hope. If we do, we give up. And giving up is not a path to a complete, satisfying, and fulfilling life.

  When we no longer have hope, a part of us dies. Our world feels small, limited, and scary. Without hope, we lose clarity, confidence, and cadence. Hope is where we find reason to live and to make our way in the world.

  We are never more alive than when we are filled with hope for what could be. We must have hope. It may be the only real thing that exists.

  Your Story Isn’t Finished

  Wherever you are, whatever you’ve been through, however dark and dangerous your life is, hope is the magic you’ve been missing. It may not be tangible. You may not be able to show it to someone else. But it is what you hold on to — your deed of ownership, if you will — until what you hope for comes to be.

  Hope means everything. It will move you forward with a sense of possibility and confidence that good things are within reach. I’m excited about what’s next for you, and I can’t wait to read or hear about your story one day.

  Many people may recognize me from American Idol, but my story begins long before I appeared on the show and continues on in ways I never could’ve anticipated. This book is my story, much of which you’ve likely never read online or heard in an interview. My dreams began to form as a child. My purpose is found in the relationships that mean the most to me. My destiny was born out of my darkest moments. Throughout all of my experiences, one thing remained constant: hope.

  American Idol changed my life but not in the way you might expect. For me, fame has never been something I wanted. Fame comes and goes. My desire has always been to lead a life of significance. I want to leave my mark on the people who have been lost, forgotten, and counted out. I was found in the crowd, but I am no more deserving than anyone else to know that someone cares.

  When my first wife, Sophia, died, I wanted her love for children and families to live on. That’s why I started Sophia’s Heart. I wanted to make sure those who never were able to know Sophia would be able to know her through the love poured out for those who live tucked away in the margins of society. Through Sophia’s Heart, we are helping people articulate their dreams and then giving them the tools to dramatically impact their sense of hope for the future.

  I bet I’m a lot like you: a person full of struggles and pain as well as hopes and dreams. The hope that is before me is the same hope before you. My prayer is that in the midst of telling you my story, you will find meaning for your own story.

  The things you experience today are preparing you for the next step in your journey. Your story isn’t complete, so don’t write yourself off. Your story is bigger than you can imagine.

  Life is too short, the stakes are too high, and the opportunity to make a difference too significant to live without hope.

  No matter what decisions you have made, you are not limited by your past.

  No matter what others say, you are not limited by what others see.

  No matter what your situation, you are not limited by your present circumstance.

  Hope is yours for the taking. It is available to you right where you are, whether you are at the pinnacle of success or the depths of failure. Hope is right in front of you. There is no catch. You just have to choose to believe — in hope and in yourself.

  Chapter 1

  Living Through the Eyes of My Heart

  Your heart is your real set of eyes.

  Faith does not preclude us from being broken. Instead, faith gives us the strength to hold on to hope when everything comes crashing down. This is what I believe.

  Sophia and I believed for a miracle, but the miracle hadn’t come. We were worn out and tired. We were discouraged. We needed to see the events take a different turn. There had to be a sign somewhere that better days were ahead of us.

  I was sixteen the first time I laid eyes on Sophia. At that time, I was working at a sub shop, going to school, and just living life. I noticed that many of the people around me were in some type of relationship. I wanted a girlfriend. I wanted to know what it felt like to have a special relationship with another person.

  I believe that every person was designed to love and be loved. This is what it means to be truly human, truly alive, and truly purposeful in our going and doing. To love and be loved is the greatest privilege we have in this life.

  One night I was feeling particularly hopeless at the possibility of finding someone to share my life with. I was sitting in my car, thinking about my slim prospects, and I said a quick prayer to vent my frustration. I figured at this point, all help was welcome.

  I turned on the radio, only to hear the song “You Must Have Been an Angel,” by Bob Carlisle. It spoke to me.

  Have you ever listened to a song and felt it resonate in your heart, like it meant something specific in that very moment? That’s what it was like for me. It wasn’t long after that I noticed her for the first time, and I remembered the prayer and the song. I took it as confirmation that this girl was special.

  Her name was Sophia. We met at church at an end-of-summer party. The date — August 10, 1997 — is etched in my memory.

  We spent the next two years building a relationship — over the phone. Yes, that’s right. It sounds out of date, I know. But Sophia’s parents were very strict. I suspect having daughters can do that to a father. Her parents’ Spanish heritage also influenced their expectations, as it is very different from American culture.

  Really, I didn’t care: We were in love — at least as best as we understood it at the time. We followed her parents’ rules even though we didn�
��t agree with them. We both respected her parents and knew that if we didn’t follow their rules, we wouldn’t have a chance of spending any time together.

  Because all we had were phone calls, our conversations were amazing. I looked forward to them all week. I would come home and wait for Sophia to call. Sometimes I had to wait my turn to use our home phone because our family was large. It was excruciating at times. I just wanted whoever was on the phone to hang up so it would be my turn. It was always worth the wait though.

  When Sophia turned eighteen, she was finally allowed to go on dates, except her sister had to go with us. There is nothing like being eighteen years old — old enough to vote, serve your country in war, and be legally responsible for yourself — and still needing a chaperone for a date with your girlfriend. It seemed old-fashioned, but I wanted to spend time with Sophia more than I cared about the rules of engagement.

  Anytime I went over to Sophia’s house, we had to sit in the living room. We couldn’t venture to other parts of the house. We complied, though, because we wanted to keep the trust of her parents. It was a little bit of a shock at times, given the contrast with how things were at my house. It wasn’t that my parents didn’t care or have any rules; Sophia’s parents just had more rules than pretty much anyone I knew. But I was completely comfortable going at the slow pace and sticking with the boundaries they set because I wanted to be with her. And she had my heart completely.

  Sophia was really spunky. I guess it would be fair to say she was a fireball. She packed a lot of punch and had a quick wit. We could talk for hours, and I could tell her things I hadn’t told anyone else. Sophia also loved kids. She worked with the kids at church, and there was rarely a time when I didn’t see a child on her hip. She was everything I had hoped for when I heard Bob Carlisle sing.