by Danny Gokey
I’m grateful for my simple, midwestern life. Faith, love, and a strong work ethic gave me the foundation I needed to stay grounded for the life I didn’t even know was ahead of me. Even though I didn’t know what my life would be, I knew there was more for me than what I could presently see, taste, touch, and feel. I decided early in life I wasn’t going to be defined by how others perceived me or what limitations were around me. I was going to reach forward into the unknown with the expectation that greater things were ahead.
You can do the same thing. There is more than you can see or know, and all you can do is reach forward into the unknown and search for it. Honor your past, but don’t be limited by it. Embrace who you are today and the person you are becoming. And — most importantly — move forward with confidence that who you are is enough. Where you are going in the future is determined by what you focus on. There are bigger and better plans for you than you ever imagined. See it and believe it with unwavering faith, and soon you will be living it.
Chapter 8
The Day I Learned I Could Sing
The way you see the world has the power to shape your present and influence someone else’s future.
Have you ever wondered why music is so powerful?
To the songwriter, it’s words on a page. To the musician, it’s notes on a scale. To the singer, it’s words and breath and performance. To the band, it’s a puzzle of instruments fitting together in beats per measure. To the producer, it’s all that mixed with precision.
Music is powerful not because of the individual pieces but because of how those seemingly unrelated and conflicting pieces come together to make someone feel something. And if the music is good enough, it becomes the soundtrack that captures our emotion, our perspective, and even our deepest dreams at a particular moment in time.
Music is powerful because it has the ability to shape us.
In Just a Matter of Words
I loved music, but it never occurred to me that I could sing, at least not until my dad said I could.
We were on our way home from church. It was a random Sunday. No special occasion. It was Mom, Dad, one of my sisters, and me. I was listening to the music playing in the car, which had captured my attention for the moment.
I leaned forward, just behind the console, and started singing with the music. I didn’t care that I was singing out loud. I was just enjoying the moment.
Dad quietly looked over at Mom and said, “Your son can sing.”
I hadn’t expected that statement to come out of his mouth.
I sat back in my seat and didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to think. I looked out the window and warmth filled my whole body. That seemed like a profound moment, as if time stopped.
I was twelve years old at the time, and my dad was my hero. His statement seemed as if it were a window into my future. It had never occurred to me that I could sing. Being a singer or musician wasn’t even on my radar. Dad wasn’t necessarily prophetic, but that moment was a defining moment for me. No, the clouds didn’t part. A voice from heaven didn’t speak. No doves flew out of the sky. (That would have been cool, though.)
I liked the idea that Dad thought I could sing, and I took it at face value. If Dad said I could sing, then I could sing. I think parents sometimes underestimate the power they have to speak into the lives of their children. Take it from me, this kid who believed his dad and whose life took off to fill the shape of those words. This is the power of a parent’s words upon a child’s ear and future. These words can build up or tear down. And because of this moment, when my dad spoke into my life, I’ve been acutely aware of how I want to talk to my own children and others around me.
I wish I could tell you that my parents called a talent scout the next day and had someone meet with me immediately. I wish I could tell you that after hearing me, the talent scout signed me to an amazing record deal and I became a legend. But as you can imagine, we headed home after church and went back to our regular routine. In just a few minutes, I would be thinking about any number of things, none of which had to do with singing. I loved the idea that I could sing, but I had no idea where that would take me or what would come next.
Shortly after, I sang karaoke on a stage of a water park we were visiting on a family vacation. That was my first public performance. I was a scrawny kid (who probably looked more like eight years old than twelve) in swim trunks and no shirt, belting out Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti.” By the time I was done, the area around the stage was packed and people were cheering loudly for me. I’m pretty sure people were shocked that a young boy could sing like that. As I walked through the crowd after my song, I felt like a million bucks because people were walking up to me and telling me how great they thought my performance was. It was a foreshadowing of something bigger and better yet to come. I just didn’t know it yet.
Take the Lead
Two years after Dad declared I could sing, I found myself at the beginning of what I thought would be a long career in music. Fourteen is an interesting age. You’re not an adult. You’re not a kid. But everyone expects you to act like an adult and still be a kid. (This is why fourteen-year-olds are so confused.)
I was eager to use the gift both Dad and I now knew I possessed. So I did what any self-respecting singer did in high school: I tried out for what is known as the glee club.
This group of elite singers was the best of the best in the high school. I had already envisioned what I would look like singing with this group onstage. I practiced for my audition and gave what I thought was a stunning performance.
My music career had just begun — or so I thought.
There was only one problem. The music coach didn’t think I was ready. I didn’t make the cut. I wasn’t good enough. Even worse, my brother was selected. I may have been good enough for Dad, but I wasn’t good enough for a spot on the stage.
I was certainly disappointed by not making the cut at school, and after that, music just fell to the back burner for a time. Then a new youth pastor came to our church. He recognized I had a gift for singing and pushed me to use it. He continued to draw out my musical abilities and bridged the gap in my teenage years before I had a vision for myself. He was grooming me for a music career when I didn’t even know it yet. He was a key factor in keeping music as a focus and encouraged me at every turn to keep going.
Once again I tried to pursue what I thought was my next step in my music career. Berry Gordy came to Milwaukee and there was a huge tryout to discover new talent for his record label, Motown. I sang my heart out and was pretty confident I had made the next round — but I didn’t. I didn’t even make it through the first cut. Where was the “Tutti Frutti” crowd when I needed them?
I may not have made the cut for the elite high school singing group or Berry Gordy, but I did try again. This time I was hoping to sing with the praise and worship team at a new church I started attending. Several years had gone by since the sing-along in the car, but my desire for music was still present just as it was the day Dad told me I could sing.
Up until this point, I’d spent most of my life comfortable in the background. I was eager to be involved in the things that mattered to me, but I never wanted to take a lead role. Out in front wasn’t where I felt most at ease, so I tried out to be a background vocalist. I was so excited when I made the group and was looking forward to using my love for music and singing in a particularly meaningful way. Little did I know what was about to happen next.
One Sunday morning out of the blue, the pastor pulled me aside and told me I would be the lead singer for worship from now on. My eyes grew wide and I became speechless. I was completely frightened because I didn’t think I was good enough. I hadn’t spent a lot of time onstage in front of people. This was all so new to me and more than a little intimidating. Now I was being asked to take the lead.
I questioned myself, which is probably why I started the first song with my back to the crowd. I didn’t want to turn around. I guess I convince
d myself that if I didn’t see the congregation, they weren’t really there. I looked over at the piano player. She was pointing to me to get my attention and motioning for me to turn around and face the crowd. I was too scared to face them. I remember shaking my head and saying no. I really didn’t want to, but I knew I had to face my fear head-on. It was time.
Looking back, the sum of my life is just a bunch of people really believing in me and pointing out the talents and abilities I didn’t know were there. I’m grateful for all those who were placed in my life who pushed me toward becoming the person I am today.
There will be surprises along the way to your destiny. That’s why hope is so important to harnessing the power we need to pull us through our difficult moments. Someone is always going to think that you don’t live up to their standards or meet their expectations. It’s key you surround yourself with people who recognize your gifts and push you toward your dreams.
What’s important to remember is we choose the way we see the world. Perception is everything. If we think the world is closing in, we’ll miss the doors and opportunities that are before us. I could’ve given up when I didn’t make the high school glee club or Berry Gordy’s record label, but I didn’t.
Faith and Patience
From the time I was twenty until I was twenty-eight, I led praise and worship for my church. During that time, I was able to get comfortable in my own skin singing in front of people. I learned how to direct a group of vocalists, connect with a crowd of people, and put musical sets together. These were all invaluable lessons for me. I didn’t know it at the time, but I would one day find myself on a very big stage with lots of people watching me and waiting to see if I could capture their attention from the platform. Had I not been through those eight years of training, I wouldn’t have been ready to embrace the opportunities I would soon encounter.
Life has an interesting way of unfolding. It seems disconnected and out of sync most of the time. But when you look back, you can see where it connects. I’m always surprised at how connected life really is when looking back at it.
Sometimes people assume that if things don’t work out right now, it’s not meant to be. We often give up too easily. As a result, we never get to see our dreams come true, which is really unfortunate.
The reason most people never see their dreams come to be is they don’t have faith and patience. We must have faith in our ability to do the things we are passionate about. For me, it was having a music career. For you, it may be getting married, getting that next promotion, or finishing your degree. Faith is the muscle we need to see what hope tells us is true, good, and possible.
In addition to faith, we need patience. It was eight years between the Sunday when Dad told me I could sing and the day I sang lead at my church. Between that time, it was a journey that included setbacks and rejection. I was rejected several times by people I thought would embrace me and my talent.
Then it was another eight years after that before I hit the American Idol stage. That’s a total of sixteen years before I saw my dream of a music career truly begin. It was a long road. Sometimes it was hard to be patient. And believe me, there were times I wanted to give up. Even as I look back on it now, the things I thought were setbacks were actually times of preparation and necessary experiences for my future. I’m so glad I didn’t focus on those disappointments or allow them to hold me back.
Unfortunately, some people will miss out on their dreams because they don’t have the patience and faith to hang in there until all the pieces come together. Don’t give up. Be patient and have faith that your dreams are possible. Just know that some of the things you are doing now are preparing you for what’s ahead.
Destiny Is Real
I believe that you have a destiny. I believe I have a destiny. If we don’t have a destiny, then we don’t have a chance of finding purpose, meaning, or significance. Destiny is the heavenly push that activates our faith and confirms our hope for the good things still to come.
Every day we are living out our destiny. If you give up on your dreams today, then that becomes your destiny for today. Although most people look at their destiny as ten or twenty years down the road, what you do today becomes your destiny for the moment. All these moments add up. Make the choice today to move in the direction of your goals and dreams.
There is still more for you to accomplish. There is still part of your future you have yet to uncover. I believe there is more in this life for you than you presently understand.
The amazing thing is we are all in the middle of some part of our destiny right now; we just don’t see it yet. You can’t see it because your knowledge of the big picture is limited.
All you know is right in front of you.
All you have to go on is what you have right now.
All you have to lean on is the measure of faith and patience it will take to get you to the next step.
You may be in the middle of pain.
You may be experiencing success.
You may be ready to give up.
You may be ready to take on the world.
Whatever your experience, whatever you are going through, there is an even bigger picture and more to your story that has yet to unfold.
Words shape how we see the world around us. My dad’s encouragement allowed me to see a vocal talent in myself I didn’t see before. If you think about it, the words we use to describe the world are probably the words that describe what we believe. If we see the world as limited, then our lives will be limited. If we see the world as unlimited, then it will be unlimited.
The words we speak will shape our lives. It will change our behavior and create a life that is greater and more significant than what we presently experience. Even now around my house we always watch what we say to each other. We refuse to be limited by a life — or even worse, a lie — that we created and now believe. Since I’ve changed the way I talk to others, my life has significantly changed for the better.
Even more, the words we speak have the power to shape the lives of the people around us. You might be the catalyst for someone else to take the next step in realizing his or her deepest dream. It may be a kind word, a warm blanket, or a loving shoulder. Whatever it is, we are instruments in a concert much greater than we could ever imagine. And when we live out of the part of us that gives us the confidence to speak our dreams into existence, we find a strange, unwavering hope that lives outside the limitations of our lives. It illuminates our path just enough to help us take the next step. Your destiny will be found in the words of hope we speak to ourselves and to others around us.
Chapter 9
Out of Place
Embrace your uniqueness and appreciate the beautiful differences in others.
I attended a private school across town until my early teens. The local public school I would have attended was full of gangs and didn’t have a great reputation. My parents made sacrifices to give us a better education.
There were lots of wealthy kids at the private school. I didn’t have the brand-name clothes they did. I didn’t have a brand-name backpack. I didn’t wear brand-name shoes. I had the best my parents could afford, and it met the minimum standard set by the school administration.
My parents weren’t always able to pay our tuition on time. My mom would get a call from the principal telling her we weren’t allowed to come to school because our tuition was past due. I was happy when we didn’t have to go to school. Those were great days for me. But my mom would be torn up about it. She was doing her best to keep us out of public school because she didn’t want negative influences to take us down the wrong path. I remember hearing my mom crying in her room after receiving one of those calls. Although I enjoyed my days off from school when she got those calls, it hurt me to see her go through that. There were many times when my grandma would step in and pay our tuition.
Every time I had a friend over to my house, they’d expect my house to be huge because we had so many kids in our family. My frien
ds made comments of how shocked they were at how small our house was. Many of them had much larger houses with fewer family members. I think they assumed we were well off because of the school we attended.
I remember my first pair of Nike shoes. My parents bought them off the clearance rack for twenty-four dollars at JC Penney. Until that day, I always wore shoes that weren’t name brand, and other kids made sure I was aware of it. I couldn’t wait to wear my new shoes to school. The first day I wore them, I kept looking down at them because I was so proud of them. One kid made fun of me because they weren’t Nike Airs, which was the hottest thing at the time. My proud moment quickly turned into an embarrassing one. It seemed impossible for me to ever fit in because we couldn’t afford to keep up with the trends.
My parents taught us responsibility and that money didn’t come easy. We never took anything for granted. One time when things really got tough, my siblings and I overheard my mom crying to my dad because they couldn’t afford to buy school supplies, so all of us kids went out and got odd jobs to help pay for our own. We also had to help buy our own clothes in high school. It was times like this I learned that if I worked hard, I could have the things my classmates had.
When you grow up not having a lot of extras, you learn to live without them. In a way, it puts you at an advantage compared to those who grow up in the midst of luxury. They have way more to lose than you do.
Many people think there is power that comes in owning certain things. However, a lifestyle like that can be a deceptive path. It makes us believe that what we possess today will be in our possession tomorrow. Also, at times people find identity in their possessions and lose their true sense of self. Further, it makes us believe that what we possess will last forever.
