Hope in Front of Me

by Danny Gokey

  It wasn’t an easy choice to start my own organization. There were so many times I questioned if I had made the right decision. As we faced the usual difficulties, I often wondered if I’d made it too hard on myself by starting from scratch. It would’ve been easier to partner with another organization already in existence. But now, years down the road, I feel confident that Sophia’s Heart is well worth all the hardships and was the right choice for me.

  Unexpected Generosity

  Best Buy was gracious to allow us to use their facility for the relief efforts, but it was never the intention to be located there forever. We knew we needed to find a location of our own. But we had no idea where to begin. It wasn’t like we had endless resources. There were lots of people who wanted to talk to us because they thought we had deep pockets. Their intentions were revealed quickly.

  People recognized me from American Idol. Obviously, some thought I made a lot of money on the show and had lots to spend. When looking for facilities for Sophia’s Heart, architects and builders were excited to talk to me because of what they thought I had. I learned to become very clear in my expectations. Eventually, those people went away.

  One offer came from an organization that was deeply invested in serving the needs of others in their community. The leader of this organization spoke with great enthusiasm about how we could partner together. He had the facilities, and we had the idea. I wish I could say it was that easy. It wasn’t.

  Things became complicated the deeper we got into the details. It was clear to me this wasn’t going to work — ever. The enthusiasm we all had about the situation had faded, and it seemed that we needed to go back to square one.

  I was devastated. I can’t say I felt like giving up, but it did feel impossible. It seemed like the perfect solution at the time. The more I thought about it later, though — as often happens the further you move away from “perfect” situations — I realized the partnership would have been less than desirable in many ways.

  Sometimes we get mad when things don’t work out, but we fail to recognize that maybe we haven’t discovered the real blessing yet. Just because something looks like a blessing doesn’t mean it is one. The same afternoon that the other details fell apart, I received a random voicemail from a guy who said he owned a medical facility he wanted to donate to a nonprofit and was calling to see if we were interested. My answer was a resounding yes.

  Dreams Do Come True

  We were originally supposed to meet the owner of the building (the man who left me the voicemail) and his real estate agent to tour the facility. When we arrived, it was just the real estate agent. I had just been burned, so I was going to be really disappointed if it happened again.

  The building had everything we wanted. It had a big utility kitchen. It had office space separate from the rest of the building. It had fifty big rooms with full-functioning bathrooms. It had a large lobby, clinical space, and a cafeteria. I became more and more excited, and my heart jumped inside me. I was almost in tears because I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. I tried to play it cool on the outside, but I knew inside this was the place that would house Sophia’s Heart and give us a chance to really make a difference.

  It was finally time to dive into the details. I learned early in life that if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. I was really hoping this was not the case. The real estate agent changed the story just slightly from what the guy had said in his voicemail. Instead of it being a direct donation, he said the donation amounted to fifty percent of the total cost of the building. That meant we would have to come up with about $750,000 for the other half. Impossible.

  We left that meeting feeling defeated. We barely even had 5 percent of what he was asking in our bank account. I told the few of us who had been on the tour that if we were meant to have this building, the details would work themselves out. I’m not sure if I felt the need to say that because I needed to say something a good leader would say or if I was trying to convince myself of the same thing too.

  A few weeks passed by. Nothing. Then I finally met with the owner of the building. We met at a golf club, and after spending the afternoon with this guy, I knew that what I had heard about this man was true: He was very, very successful.

  We eventually got around to talking about the hospital facility. I explained what the real estate agent had said. I told him we didn’t have $750,000 to pay for the building. He paused and then looked directly at me. He said the building was ours if we wanted it. But he was also clear in saying that this 77,000-square-foot facility was all ours, which meant he didn’t want us coming back to ask for money to make repairs or because we couldn’t afford the utility costs.

  Of course I said yes. I told him I would pour everything I had into this building and would do whatever it took. Although I was serious, he wasn’t impressed. He just wanted assurance we would make his donation worthwhile. He had other organizations that wanted the building, but somehow we got it.

  The important details were in place. Now we just needed to get this deal in writing, transfer the deed of ownership, and begin building Sophia’s Heart in the way we had dreamed about all along.

  Of course, there were more obstacles. The closing date kept being pushed back. During that time, we thought we might lose the building. The real estate agent said many times that he had more than one cash buyer who was ready to move. We also discovered that someone was subleasing a wing of the facility. They would become our tenant. It wasn’t perfect, but we hoped it wouldn’t be forever.

  The day finally came. After all the anticipating, pushing, and praying, the closing date arrived. We signed the papers on the building on November 15, 2010. I was in shock. We actually had a facility. A 77,000-square-foot facility. It was time to start making our dreams — and the dreams of so many others we wanted to help — come true. In that moment, Matthew Barnett and the Dream Center immediately came to mind. Maybe Sophia’s Heart could have a similar impact on the Nashville community that Matthew has had in Los Angeles. That was certainly my prayer, and now we had a physical address to locate the dream I had been carrying with me in my heart for so long.

  A Clarifying Experience

  Again, I wish I could say everything was perfect after that, but it was not the case. Instead, the heat was turned up on the situation in a way we never could have anticipated. When the community found out we were moving in, many of its residents and business owners were not happy.

  To say we were met with some opposition would be an understatement. East Nashville is a community in transition. Poverty and wealth exist side by side. There are still many troubled parts of East Nashville.

  Many nonprofits and church groups had come and gone with good intentions. They would show up, distribute food and clothes, and then leave. These kinds of past events brought a transient crowd of people into the community who didn’t always treat other people’s property with respect. This community was trying to revitalize the area, but these efforts had complicated the process.

  Our original plan was to launch a soup kitchen and start giving away clothing. We were going to relocate the music and arts program there, too. When we went to file the necessary papers related to use of the building, the word spread like wildfire. Soon there were community meetings calling our intentions into question. People weren’t happy about our vision. There were huge signs going up that included the personal phone number of one of my staff members and a website to boycott us.

  It was really a clarifying experience. It caused me to check my intentions. Just because we think that what we’re doing is right doesn’t mean it is. So many organizations that came in before us came one day and left the next. I’m not trying to put down what they were doing, but it was more about them than the people they were trying to help. We listened to the criticism from the community, and we became a stronger organization because of it.

  We quickly redesigned our plan of action. We engaged the community leaders who seemed to be leading the movement
against us. And our efforts proved to be wise. It didn’t take too long to convince even the biggest skeptics that we were in this for the long haul. This was not a glorified collect-and-dump effort. We were not moving in to move out. We were committed to a better community by helping homeless families find the help they need to turn their lives around. We wanted to be a breath of fresh air for the community, not make things worse.

  Since then, we’ve experienced no opposition from the community. Sometimes opposition isn’t a horrible thing. Sometimes it can be used to clarify our intentions and place us in a better position to care for and serve people.

  Overcoming Challenges

  The challenge of any nonprofit — big and small — is always funding. There never seems to be enough. It’s hard to raise money for an organization when it doesn’t have a lot of hard outcomes. We could show progress, but we needed more money to fund the programs that were going to create the outcomes we were looking for. Money usually follows outcomes, but we needed money to create the outcomes.

  I decided from the beginning I would never take a salary from Sophia’s Heart, and I never will. I never want what Sophia’s Heart is doing to be called into question over financial integrity. I’ve seen it happen too many times, and I didn’t want any part of it. In fact, in most years, I am one of the biggest donors of Sophia’s Heart. I believe that will not be the case forever because I know we will capture the hearts of some financial leaders who want to make a tremendous difference in the lives of families and want to support our work. But that’s how much we believe in this organization. We do what is needed to keep the dream alive.

  We also had to clean up the building. The medical company that previously occupied the facility did not clean it up before they left, and we had to do it ourselves. It wasn’t easy, but we were determined not to let anything stand in our way.

  There are, of course, some other expenses that come with owning a large facility like the one we inherited. The fire inspector came through and uncovered about $15,000 of repairs that needed to be completed. The operating expenses alone were overwhelming. We finally discovered a system that allowed us to keep the building warm in the places where it was necessary and not heat or cool the spaces we weren’t utilizing yet. Even with our planning, it is still an overwhelming amount of money needed every month just to operate the facilities.

  I knew we’d have to overcome many challenges to make this dream a reality, but it would be so worth it in the end.

  Lives Changed

  We moved in our first homeless family — a mom, dad, and five children — in 2011. We focused exclusively on families. Most homeless families end up being split up because a lot of facilities are not set up for families. They may provide food and shelter, but it further increases the stress of the situation. And the ones who really lose in this scenario are the children.

  At Sophia’s Heart, our goal is to take the hospital rooms and make them into one-room efficiency apartments. All the elements are there: large rooms, HVAC, and full bathrooms. We want these families to have a place where they feel safe and escape from the brutal world they are trying to tame as they work to become self-sustaining again.

  We were able to help more than twenty-five families in 2012. Once our Nashville facility is completely renovated, we’ll be able to take between eighty and a hundred families off the streets each year and give them a safe, warm, and comfortable place to heal and reposition their lives for future success. With the facility we have, our growth potential is incredible.

  Good things are happening. Volunteers and donors are helping transform the facility one room at a time, while others are involved in direct family care.

  Sophia’s Heart couldn’t do all that we do without our incredible staff. Their stories are so inspirational. Only a few staff members are paid. And those positions aren’t paid what they are worth. These people aren’t there for the money; they’re there because they buy into the vision.

  We have volunteers who come in from time to time to generously offer their time and skills. We also have live-in volunteers who give their lives to help these families around the clock. While we do help with their expenses, they get no salary. There is no way we could do what we do without them. These are the real champions who should be praised, admired, and applauded. Their constant devotion to the families we help is the reason lives are being changed every day at Sophia’s Heart.

  In addition to providing a safe place to live, food to eat, and clean clothes, we help these families develop career skills, complete their GEDs, and find steady work. We also support them if they are spiritually curious, and we provide counseling when necessary. Our goal is to make them whole again so they can overcome whatever obstacles they are facing now and in the future.

  One of the programs I’m deeply invested in is our dream-building class. I designed it to help these families envision a more desirable future. I personally interact with each resident in hopes of helping inspire them to reach for their goals and believe in themselves. When we have faith that good things are coming, our state of mind shifts. We begin to see the world differently, and we gain the power to change the world around us. That’s what gets me most excited: seeing real people make radical adjustments and create a better future for themselves and their families.

  Every Tuesday night is family night. If I am in town, this is where I am. We bring in a band, and a few singers and I perform uplifting music for the families. I find so much strength and inspiration from these gatherings where we celebrate our victories and share in our struggles. It is a beautiful picture of what I always thought the church should be.

  Recently, we accepted a single mom and her son into our facility. Candace had been raised by her grandmother, who passed away while she was in high school. She was on her own after that. For a time, she was able to get a job and an apartment, but then she experienced some significant health issues and lost her job because of it. She was selling drugs and through a series of events became homeless. Candace used to keep her son at other people’s houses and didn’t tell anyone about being homeless because she was embarrassed. Her son finally asked her one night when they were going to have a real home. Shortly after that, she found Sophia’s Heart. At first she rebelled in many ways and was afraid to trust anyone, but one of our live-in volunteers got through to her. She admitted this was the first time anyone had taken the time to listen to her since her grandma passed away. She cried as she told us that her son asked to “go home” to Sophia’s Heart after experiencing the love strangers showed them at our facility. She has since successfully completed our program and graduated. She now has a steady job that pays well. She has been able to save her money and has moved to her own home. I am so happy for this family. And what makes this story even better is how she received a promotion at work and used her position to help several residents at Sophia’s Heart get hired too. This is what is possible when we extend a hand to help others in need. I miss this woman and her son, but I am so proud of their journey.

  We also took in a single father who came to our facility with his two kids. Thomas had previously lost his wife and experienced many hardships that left him homeless. He had moved to Nashville with the promise of a job but instead was swindled out of some money. They ended up staying in another facility that was seasonal and closed after the winter months. They were also kicked out of another place they had found to live and weren’t even able to bring their belongings with them. When we accepted Thomas into our program at Sophia’s Heart, he fell on his knees and cried, thanking us for helping him. He has since moved on to a stable place as well.

  A story that really warms my heart is one of a single mom in nursing school. Timidly, Jennifer and her three kids came to Sophia’s Heart, not knowing what to expect. She was ashamed and regretful of the decisions of her past that led her to us. Jennifer told me she had been to a few other shelters in town and had to get in line each day for that night’s lodging. If she was lucky, she would get a cot for herse
lf and her kids for the night. When she came into Sophia’s Heart, our staff greeted her and handed her a key to her own room with a bathroom. When she walked into the room, the beds had new linens and there was a basket of toiletries for them, along with a welcome letter. She broke down and cried. She had never experienced this kind of reception from people who didn’t even know her.

  These kinds of stories — stories that have a lasting impact on me and those around me — happen every day. There are too many to tell. But these are the stories that keep me grounded. They remind me of what’s important.

  Pursue Your Deepest Desires

  The families we serve at Sophia’s Heart know how quickly the affection of others can disappear. Just see how many days you can go without a shower or clean clothes before people start looking at you strangely and treating you differently. I can tell you it isn’t very long. This is why we make these families feel special and welcome. I know they don’t want to be in this position. I know they are struggling with self-doubt and thoughts of failure. I’ve been there. That is why we strive to give them a good experience when they walk through our doors. We don’t put them in a dilapidated old room; we put them in a room that is beautifully remodeled with furniture and beds that are comfortable. Our goal is to let these broken families know they’re important, they are worth something, and they have a unique destiny, even if they don’t feel it. Their countenance changes immediately and their mindsets begin to shift when they feel a sense of value.

  There is a difference between being famous and being great. Fame fades eventually, but greatness lasts forever. The difference also lies in the source of your approval. Being famous means you are approved by the recognition and praise of others. Being great means you are approved by fulfilling and living out your deepest dream. One is temporary. One lasts forever.