by Mia Belle
Chapter Nineteen
Lia
Monday morning, Sophie and I are at our lockers when the Armstrong boys march down the hallway. Each and every single girl has her gaze fastened on them. They don’t seem to notice or care, though. Zane’s fists are clenched at his sides, Aidan looks lost, bothered, and a little regretful. Caleb’s mind doesn’t seem to be here.
“I don’t get it,” Alexis, who’s a few lockers down, whispers to her friend. “They’re so hot, but they act like we don’t exist.” She gestures to her tiny skirt and super tight shirt. “How can anyone resist this? I mean, I broke up with Stephen because of them.”
Her friend raises her eyebrow. “Which one?”
“Doesn’t matter. They’re all hot.”
She only sees them as pretty boys. She doesn’t know how sweet and shy Caleb is or how much Aidan is torn up about his football injury. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why he got so drunk at the party. And Zane? He has a hard shell, but I can see the kind, caring guy bursting to break through. My thoughts travel to last night, to the deep, intense look on his face as he shone the light on his wrists, revealing his scars.
“I do get it,” his voice rings in my head. “I do get you.” Shutting my eyes for a second, I shove it aside. I’m not going to think about this right now.
I tune back in to where Alexis is discussing the Armstrong boys’ hotness with her friends. I wonder if she got to know Aidan at all at the party. Doesn’t seem like it, or else she wouldn’t clump the guys together like that.
I twist my nose. Why do I even care? I’ve sworn off boys.
Fine, maybe they’re nice and interesting in their own way. And if I want to be honest with myself, I’m very curious about them.
I squeeze my eyes shut. No. Stay away, stay away, stay away. I remember how curious I was about Josh. How I wanted to get to know him better. All I gained from that is a heart that’s broken beyond repair and scars on my wrists—a constant reminder of those dark weeks.
Alexis saunters over to us. Her eyes pin on me. “You’re neighbors with Aidan, Caleb, and Zane, right?”
“Yeah. Why?”
She scans me over, her nostrils flaring. I bet she’s thinking the same thing Sophie does—that it’s a complete waste for a lame girl like me to live next door to the hottest guys in school.
“They’re so freaking hot—”
I slam my locker, feeling defensive for some reason. “They’re more than just pretty faces, you know. They’re people. With problems and feelings.” My mind drifts to the scars on Zane’s wrists, to the dumped trophies in Aidan’s room. I think about how Caleb’s eyes are despondent and how distant he is. Why? Why did the Armstrongs move to our small town? And why did they change their last name?
Alexis bursts out laughing. “Is that something your dad the principal told you? Who cares about all that stuff? All that matters is that they’re hot.” She laughs again, her friends joining her. Sophie’s eyes flicker from me to Alexis, her eyebrows furrowed like she’s not sure whose side to be on.
The bell rings and the kids vanish into their classrooms. Sophie wraps her arms around me. “Sorry. She didn’t mean anything by it.”
I draw back. “Don’t apologize for her. And don’t worry about it.”
Alexis is Alexis and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m just worried about the future of my friendship with Sophie.
She pats my hand, smiling before scurrying to her class, promising she’ll see me at lunch.
“Hey, Lia?” a voice says from behind me.
I turn around and find Caleb standing there, books in his arms. “Sorry, but I’m looking for history.”
“I have that class, too.”
He follows me down the hall and into the classroom. Luckily our teacher hasn’t arrived yet. Detention isn’t on my agenda.
Heads lift as Caleb and I make our way to our seats across from one another. Caleb takes out a notebook and his textbook from his backpack, placing them neatly on his desk.
“Hey,” a girl hisses from his left. “I’m Samantha.”
He gives her a pleasant smile, then focuses on his notebook. It’s not for class—there are measurements scribbled there.
“What’s that?” I whisper before I can stop myself.
His sky blue eyes meet mine and I expect him to ignore me like he ignored Samantha, but he doesn’t. “They’re recipes I’m working on.”
“Recipes? Like you’re making them up?”
He nods, and there’s no hiding the excitement in his eyes. Julia told me he likes to cook and bake, but I didn’t know just how much he loves it.
“That’s really cool,” I say. When I peer to my left, I catch Samantha’s eyes narrowed at me.
“Hey, can I see that?” she asks, holding out her hand.
Caleb sinks a little in his seat. “Oh, no. Sorry. It’s very private.”
Her lips form a tight line. Then she gets bored and starts flirting with the guy next to her, batting her eyelashes and tossing her dark hair over her shoulder.
Caleb continues scribbling in his notebook. I find myself watching, fascinated by how passionate he is. It’s like he’s putting his entire soul into it.
Like Zane and his drawing. I might have given him death glares Saturday night, but I could see how much feeling he puts into his art.
I wish I was as passionate about something like Zane is with his art, Caleb with cooking, and Aidan with football. Even though he doesn’t play anymore, I know he still has a special spot for it in his heart.
I glance at the door. Ms. Creed hasn’t come in yet. I wish I brought my book with me, but the last time I did, I was so caught up in the story that I snuck in reading during class. My teacher confiscated it. It wasn’t pretty for the principal’s daughter to be sent to his office. Dad understands how much I love reading, so he didn’t make a big deal about it. But I promised him to leave my books in my locker.
“Do you like to cook?” Caleb asks.
Turning to him, I realize he’s talking to me. “What?”
He shuts the notebook. “Do you like to cook?”
“Oh, no. Not at all. I kind of wish I did. I hate that Dad and I order takeout every night.”
He watches me for a little bit, his blue eyes so pure and beautiful. “Right. I think your dad mentioned something about that at dinner when you guys came over.” He drums his fingers on his notebook. “I can teach you.”
“What?”
“To cook.” He laughs lightly. “Sorry. I shouldn’t push myself like that.” His hands go to his long, blond hair. “Cooking distracts me. Makes me happy. Helps me forget.” He muttered the last part under his breath and I’m not sure he meant for me to hear it.
I force my shoulders to shrug. “I know what you mean. It’s the same with me and reading.”
His lips lift into a small smile.
Ms. Creed walks in and instructs us to separate into groups of two. She’s giving us an open-book test on the American Revolution.
“Want to team up?” Caleb asks.
I hesitate, biting my lip as I gaze around the room. Everyone is pushing their desks together, huddled into pairs. I would rather do this on my own, but there’s something about those blue eyes. They’re filled with kindness, but there’s also something else in them. Not only sadness and worry, but some dread as well.
“Sure,” I say.
We fuse our desks together and begin the first question. Caleb is very smart and finds the answers within seconds, informing me history is his best subject. It’s not long before we’re done. Everyone else is still slaving away while the teacher is busy on her laptop.
Caleb extracts his notebook from his backpack. “I’m working on this dessert,” he tells me. “But I can’t get the consistency right. No matter what I do, it comes out too dry. And it falls apart.”
I hold up my hands helplessly. “Don’t ask me. I know nothing about baking. My mom…she was amazing at it, but I never seemed to catch on.
”
His face fills with sympathy. “I’m sorry she died.”
I wring my fingers in my lap to hold back my tears. After a month, they’re still as strong as ever. “Thanks. Is it okay if I ask where your parents are? Why you’re living with your aunt and uncle?”
A dark, haunted expression shadows his face. His eyes seem to leave the room, making the darkness in his eyes multiply by a thousand.
“Caleb?” I ask. “Are you okay?”
He blinks. “What?”
“I asked about your parents. But it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”
He releases a breath, brushing his fingers in his long hair. It looks so golden and beautiful, and I wonder what it would feel like to run my hands through the strands. “My mom’s dead.”
“I’m sorry. When did she die?”
“When I was little. My aunt and uncle don’t like to talk about her. Too painful.”
I nod in understanding. “And your dad?”
He shakes his head. I’m not sure if that means he doesn’t know him, or doesn’t want to talk about him. I’d ask, but the darkness is pretty much conquering his entire face now. It won’t be long before it completely consumes him.
“Caleb? Are you okay?”
He shakily gets to his feet. “S-sorry. I have to go.” Gathering his stuff, he bolts out the door.
Chapter Twenty
Aidan
Many hands wave me over the second I step foot into the cafeteria. The girls have bright smiles on their faces as they call my name. I spot Sophie at the center table surrounded by Alexis and her friends.
Why isn’t Lia with her?
She’s at a corner table, playing with her food, her pretty green eyes flicking in her best friend’s direction. I don’t like how sad and lonely she looks. My body fills with this overwhelming need to protect her, and my feet bring me there within seconds.
“Hey.”
She looks up and her eyes fill with surprise. “Hi.”
“Can I sit?”
Her gaze floats to her friend’s table, then back to me. She shrugs. Taking that as an invitation, I drop down with my tray.
Lia resumes playing with her food, biting her lip. Her eyes keep flicking to Sophie, and I once again can’t help the need to protect her.
“Did you guys get in a fight?” I ask.
“What?”
I tilt my head toward the center table. “Just wondering why you’re not sitting with your friends.”
Alexis’s head lifts and her gaze catches mine. She sends me a wide, flirty smile that absolutely does nothing to me. When Zoe broke up with me after learning about the move, I told myself I don’t want anything to do with girls or girlfriends.
Except for the one sitting across from me. I don’t know why. I’m not disgusted or annoyed when she looks at me. Actually, I feel pretty damn good. Weird, since I’ve been feeling like shit this past year.
Lia pokes at her food. “They’re not my friends.”
“Not Sophie?”
Her cheeks puff up. “Well, yeah. It’s just that—”
“There you are, man.”
Caleb and Zane plant themselves on either side of me. They’ve got lots of food with them, especially Zane. He needs to feed those muscles. I look away as I remember how many calories I used to consume when I played football. Zane doesn’t play, just likes to keep himself in shape. There used to be a competition between us, but I’ve given up. The doctors did say I can be active, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
Zane’s eyes move from me to Lia. “What are you talking about?”
“Nothing,” Lia says. She reaches for her tray and makes a move to slip away, but I gently wrap my fingers around her wrist.
“Wait, are you leaving?”
She pulls free. “I just want to be alone.” Her eyes catch Zane’s and something passes between them. He has this intense expression on his face, while she looks like she’d rather be in a cage with lions than here.
“You were here first,” I tell her. “We should go.”
“No.” Zane’s voice is flat. “No one’s leaving.” He raises his eyebrow at her. “Don’t run.”
Her eyes form slits. “What makes you think you can tell me what to do?”
He runs his hand through his shaggy hair. “Why do you keep pushing me away? What have I done wrong? What have any of us done to you?”
Her lips press into a tight line. A few seconds pass before she says, “I don’t like teenage boys.”
The guys and I exchange surprised and confused glances.
“And it’s not because I’m into girls,” she adds.
Zane holds up his hands. “You told me that already, but you never explained why. Is it because of that guy? Your ex-boyfriend?” Something flashes in her eyes. Okay, he definitely knows something I don’t know.
But before I can ask what’s going on, Lia narrows her eyes at him. “I don’t see how any of that is your business. Especially because you’re hiding who you really are.”
“Hiding?” I ask. “What the hell are you talking about?” Caleb looks just as confused as I sound. Zane’s arms are crossed over his chest, his eyebrow lifted.
Lia’s gaze flits from Zane, to Caleb, to me. They narrow again. “You changed your last name.”
Caleb’s eyes are so wide they could trap flies. His face grows as white as his toothpaste. He’s seconds away from passing out. Zane’s arms are still crossed and he’s got a hard look in his eyes.
I hold up my hand. “How do you know that?”
Zane shoots me a look to be careful. Caleb’s chest heaves as he tries to get oxygen in. I rest my hand on his arm. “Relax, man. It’s okay. We can trust Lia.”
With his chest still heaving, he shakes his head. “We don’t know her.”
That’s true, but there’s something about her. Something that urges me to follow my gut. We can trust her. Maybe not with the whole truth yet, but at least this is a start.
“You’re right,” I say to her. “Armstrong isn’t really our last name.”
Her mouth falls open. “So…it’s true?”
Caleb’s face has gotten even whiter as he shakes his head at me. Zane’s focus is on her, his lips in a tight line.
As much as I feel like we can trust her, Caleb is right to keep his guard up. He’s been stressing out so much about his dad—my uncle—finding us that it’s driving him insane. Just last night he was up for hours baking cupcakes that none of us even want.
“But that’s all I’m going to say,” I tell her.
Some color has returned to Caleb’s cheeks. And his breathing has evened out. It’s like he’s been buried under stone and has now broken free. I pat his back again, giving him a reassuring smile that I don’t think does any good. The guy is still pretty freaked out.
Lia watches him with her eyebrows knitted. “What’s going on? I’m confused.”
“Nothing,” Caleb says, eyes panicked. “Just please forget about it.”
She regards each one of us. “Does this have anything to do with you moving here? Why it’s such a secret?”
Zane reaches for her hand that’s on the table. “Lia, whatever shit happened in our life is our problem. And we need to keep Caleb safe. Sorry, but we can’t say another word.”
Her eyes dip to their interlocked hands and she pulls hers away. She glances at Caleb. “Oh. I didn’t mean to…”
He shakes his head. “It’s fine. Just please forget about it.”
“Who else knows?” Zane asks. “Sophie?”
“No. She’s a little confused why none of you guys have social media, though.”
Relief washes over me and the others, though Zane’s doing a good job at hiding his emotions like usual.
“Look,” I say. “I trust you. And I want to tell you.” I’m not sure why. Maybe because I opened up to her about football the other day?
“Aidan…” Caleb begs.
“But I can’t.”
She nods
. “I understand. Just…are you guys okay?”
Caleb forces a small smile. “As long as this stays between us, we’ll be fine.”
“Of course. I won’t tell anyone.” Her eyes sweep to the middle table and they fill with longing. I know it must be lonely for her to sit with us instead of her best friend. But if I want to be honest with myself, I’m glad we’re with her.
And I know she’ll keep our secret. Even though I hardly know her, I’m sure of it.
Chapter Twenty-One
Lia
Sometimes I walk home from school with Sophie. Other times I wait for my dad, unless he stays late. Today, Sophie tells me she’ll catch a ride with Alexis and her friends. Apparently her brother attends a nearby college and picks her up when summoned. Looks like I’ll be going home with Dad today. Not that I don’t want to. But things are still a little strained between us. I don’t know if we’ll ever go back to how we were when Mom was alive.
Sophie and I are at my locker after class, and she’s gushing about Alexis and their plans for the afternoon. I wonder why she isn’t in the bathroom with Alexis and her friends. Maybe she hasn’t completely ditched me after all.
“Sounds like fun,” I say.
She frowns. “Sorry she didn’t invite you.”
“You know I wouldn’t want to go, anyway. Besides, you love shopping, so it’s perfect for you.”
She searches my eyes. “You sure? Because if you want me to come over and hang at your place, I totally will.”
Yeah, except it’s so obvious she desperately wants to be friends with Alexis. “It’s fine,” I say. “You can always come over after.”
“Yep. Totally.”
She wraps her arms around me, telling me what a good friend I am. All my worries about Alexis stealing her from me fly out the window. It’s okay for my best friend to spread her wings. We can still be close.
Someone clears her throat behind us and Sophie retracts her arms from around me. Alexis stands there with her friends flanking her on either side. She hardly glances my way. “Ready, Sophie?”
Sophie grabs her book bag and swings it over her shoulder. “Yeah, in a minute.”
