by Mia Belle
“Why do you care whether I have friends or not?” I ask.
He pushes some blond hair out of his eyes. “I don’t like seeing you sit all alone at lunch.”
He noticed that? “Why? And what’s so bad about me sitting all alone?”
“Lia, come on. It’s just a game. I…I miss it. Maybe it’s time for me to accept that my football dreams are gone. Maybe it’ll heal me or whatever.”
I shake my head. “Maybe. But you can do that with anyone.”
I turn toward the building, but he once again grabs my hand. “You still owe me a story.”
I raise a brow.
“Remember when you came to my room and I told you why I have a messed up relationship with football? Now it’s your turn to tell me.”
I pull my hand out of his. “Okay, you want to know so badly? My ex-boyfriend was a football jock. I hate him. So I can’t stand the thought of football. Okay?” I turn to go.
“You’re going to let him dictate your life?”
I face him. “What?”
“You used to like football. And I know a huge part of you still does. Are you going to let some jerk ruin that for you?”
I don’t say anything. He doesn’t get it. And he never will. Josh wasn’t just my ex-boyfriend. He ruined my life.
“I’m going to class.”
He puffs his cheeks. “Okay. I’ll go with you.”
“Actually, I want to be alone.”
He appears like he wants to say more, maybe try to convince me to go with him to the game, but he shakes his head, defeated. He has that same concerned look in his eyes. There’s also some sadness in there. It tempts me to lower my guard and tell him I’ll go to the game with him. But I force myself not to. It’s not my job to make him happy. And though I have no idea why he seems to care about me, I want to stay away from him.
***
I’m alone at lunch like usual. Sophie waved to me as soon as she entered the cafeteria, and I thought she’d choose to sit with me today, but of course she hasn’t.
I poke at my spaghetti as I flip through the pages of my book. Aidan’s at the table across from mine and doesn’t take his eyes off me. His brother and cousin don’t seem to be here.
Alexis has tried numerous times to invite him to join their table, but he seems to be content with where he is.
I can’t concentrate on my reading because I feel his eyes boring holes in my head. When I look up, sure enough he’s still watching me. His face is sad and a little hopeless. Is it because of the game? Why’s it my problem? Why can’t he go with someone else? Alexis and Sophie would kill for that.
I try to focus on my book and shove some food down, when a shadow hovers above. I hope to see Sophie, but when I raise my head, I find Caleb instead. He’s been avoiding me for days, so it’s really surprising to find him here with his tray.
“Hi,” he says.
I look at Aidan’s table. He’s still alone. Zane hasn’t arrived yet.
“Hi.”
He lowers his tray onto the table, then sits next to me. He’s so close I can see his sky blue eyes clearly. His long hair falls over his face.
“I wanted to thank you,” he says.
“For?”
He pushes the hair away from his face. “For keeping our secret. You could have told the whole school.”
“I’d never tell anyone.”
His smile is small, but appreciative. “Like I said, thanks. Aidan was sure we could trust you. Looks like he was right. I don’t know what I’d do without my cousin. He’s got a heart of gold, lame as that may sound.”
I glance at Aidan, who’s ignoring Alexis’s attempts at flirting from the center table. The whole cafeteria can hear her trying to get his attention.
“He’s dealing with his own crap,” Caleb continues. “But he always makes sure to watch over me. Over all of us, actually.”
I have no idea why he’s telling me this.
He pokes at his spaghetti. “Looks like worms, doesn’t it?”
I shrug. “It’s not that much different from what Dad and I eat every day.”
“Oh. Really?”
“Fine, maybe it’s worse. But not by much.”
He looks genuinely concerned. “Sorry about that. Normally the guys and I bring leftovers for lunch, but we kind of ate everything last night. Now I’m stuck eating these worms.” He laughs. “But we have lots of cupcakes. That’s all I seem to make lately.”
“Why?”
He averts his gaze, but doesn’t say a word. Does this have to do with whatever he’s running from?
A few minutes pass before he says, “Are you going to the game tonight? I think the whole school’s going.”
I shrug. “Football is a huge deal here, so of course everyone’s going.”
“Are you?”
I shake my head.
“Me, either. I’m probably going to work on a new dessert. My aunt’s been having a hard time finding a job, so I was thinking we could start a baking business.”
“That’s really cool.”
He smiles shyly. “You think? I haven’t talked to her about it yet.”
“I don’t know you guys well, but I’m sure she’ll love it.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” He rubs his chin. “But that can’t take time away from my other responsibilities.” It looks like he’s saying this to himself. “Shopping, cleaning, doing the dishes…”
“Why do you do all the chores?” I ask before I can help myself.
He snaps out of his thoughts. “What?”
“Why don’t the other guys help out?”
His face goes deep red. “It’s not what you think. My aunt doesn’t want me to work so hard, but I…” He looks away. “I feel like I have to.”
“Why?”
He wavers. “Because they took me in.”
“You’re their nephew, of course they would.”
He shakes his head. “No, it’s not like that. You see, because they took me in, they’ve put themselves in danger.” He bites his bottom lip, his eyes wide. He scrambles to his feet. “I’m sorry I said anything. You’re just…you’re easy to talk to, and sometimes I forget to keep my mouth shut.” He runs his hand through his hair, scanning around like he expects someone to crash through the wall and attack him. He’s a little white and his hands shake.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
He grabs his tray. “I have to go.” He zooms out of the cafeteria, dumping his tray in the garbage.
This is the second time he’s run away from me. Am I ever going to find out what happened?
Aidan stands. He must see the confused look on my face because he says, “He’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.”
He leaves the cafeteria, probably going to search for his cousin.
I try to read my book, but it’s hard to concentrate. The more time I spend with the boys, the more curious I grow.
And I don’t like that. I don’t like that I’m losing this battle.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Aidan
“Hey, man,” I say as I step into the bathroom stall, where Caleb is crouched on the floor near the toilet, knees to his chest. I rest my hand on his arm, but he shrugs it off.
“I’m fine,” he mutters.
“Sure as hell aren’t.”
He tries to push me away, but I stay where I am.
“I can’t help it,” he tells me. “She…she’s getting too curious. And I want to tell her. Is that crazy? I want to tell her my father is a raging murderer.” He buries his face in his lap. “What’s wrong with me?”
My hand returns to his arm. “You feel a connection to her. Like you can talk to her. I feel it, too.”
“But I hardly know her,” his muffled voice says. “Why would I want to tell a complete stranger the most personal thing about me?”
I don’t know the answer to that. There’s just something about her.
“She’s real, I guess,” I find myself saying. “Honest. There’s no bullshit w
ith her like other kids here. I know we can trust her.” I squeeze his arm. “So if you want to tell her—”
“No,” he says. “Hell no.”
“You just said you want to tell her.”
He lifts his head. “I want to, but I know I can’t. We promised your parents we wouldn’t tell anyone about my dad. Anyone.”
“She’s different.”
“We don’t know her.”
I throw my hands up. “You don’t make sense. Either you trust her with this secret or you don’t.”
He sighs, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “It’s like there are two parts of me. One wants to tell her, but the other side, the logical one, knows better. We’d put ourselves and your parents at risk. We’d put her at risk.”
I don’t know what to say because I know he’s right. “The less Lia knows, the better.”
Caleb nods.
“I asked her to come to the game with me,” I tell him. “She refused.” I laugh lightly. “Every single girl in this school chases me, but I only want to go to the game with one.”
He lifts a brow. “You like her?”
“I don’t know. I mean, we have this football connection, but she’s doing everything she can to stay away from me.”
Not to sound like an egotistical prick, but this has never happened before. Girls have always been into me. Lia is the first girl to reject me. It’s not like I expect us to date or anything, but what’s wrong with going to a game with me?
Her ex-boyfriend played football, but is that a reason to avoid the sport? I don’t want to judge her, but something else is going on. Something I’m pretty sure Zane knows about.
“Where’s Zane, anyway?”
Caleb shrugs. “Probably drawing somewhere outside.”
“You notice he’s been drawing a lot lately?”
He shrugs again. “Any more than I’ve been baking?”
I lean against the wall. “This move is making us crazy.”
“No. It’s not the move. It’s everything around it. My dad…” He swallows.
I place my hand on his arm again. “He won’t find you. We’ll be careful. You don’t have to look over your shoulder all the time. We’re safe here.”
Caleb doesn’t look so sure. Truth is, I’m not sure, either, but I’ve got to try to make him feel better. What kind of life is this? To constantly look over your shoulder?
“If only they’d just find him,” Caleb says. “I hate that I’m putting you all at risk like this. Your parents don’t have to do this for me.”
“Are you crazy? You’re family. Like a brother to me.”
Caleb doesn’t say anything, though I notice the corners of his mouth lift a little. He’s told me many times over the years that he always wanted a sibling.
The bell rings.
“You okay, man?” I ask him.
He rubs the back of his neck. “I’ll never be okay until he’s behind bars.”
I pat his arm. “He will be. We just have to let the cops do their thing.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
I pat his arm again as we leave the bathroom and make our way to our classes.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Lia
I’m in Dad’s room, sorting through his laundry, when I hear a voice trickling in from the room across. It’s Aidan. His shade is up and I have a good view of his room. He’s on the phone, in a heated discussion.
“Zoe,” he says, exasperated. “I told you to quit calling me.” He’s quiet as he listens to her, lying on his bed, his eyes on the ceiling. “I know, but I don’t want a girlfriend right now.” Quiet again. “You broke up with me, remember? You said you didn’t think we could make the long distance thing work. And then you kissed Jamie.” Quiet. “Of course I know about that. Everyone knows about it.” He sighs. “It’s better if we don’t talk.” Quiet. “Did you even love me? Or did you go out with me because you wanted to up your social status?”
He sits up and his eyes meet mine. I quickly withdraw from the window and continue putting Dad’s clothes away.
“Yeah, I’m here,” he says. “But I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Don’t call me again. Bye, Zoe.” There’s some movement from him before he says, “Lia?”
I return to the window. “I wasn’t eavesdropping.”
Of course I was. I’m no better than Zane, am I? Such a hypocrite.
He shoves his hands in his pockets. “It’s okay if you were.”
“Oh. I was, then.”
He laughs lightly. “She was my girlfriend. Broke up with me when she found out we were moving. I mean, it hurt, but I understood. We’d never make long distance work. But she went after another guy right away, like I meant nothing to her.” He shakes his head. “Sorry.”
“Do you still love her?” I ask, despite telling myself I shouldn’t care.
“I feel nothing toward her. But she keeps calling. Begging me to take her back. Sorry, this isn’t really your problem. I’m heading to the game soon. Any chance you’ve changed your mind?”
I start folding Dad’s socks. “I told you to go with Alexis. I think you’d have more fun with her.”
He inches closer to the window. “I disagree.”
“She seems more your type.”
Surprise fills his eyes. “You know my type?”
I shrug. “Yeah. Alexis.”
He laughs. “I don’t have a type.”
I roll my eyes. Guys like him most definitely have a type. “Whatever.”
“Lia, what can I say to persuade you to come to the game with me?” He gestures around. “Let’s get out and have some fun.”
“Football can never be fun for me. You don’t get it.”
“Then help me. Is it because of your boyfriend? Why would—”
I toss Dad’s socks in a drawer. “If I go to the game with you, will you stop asking me about him?”
“I’ll try.”
“Wouldn’t you rather go with Zane or Caleb?”
He frowns. “Caleb doesn’t like sports and Zane would rather stay holed up in his room drawing. You want to go, but something’s stopping you. I can see it in your eyes. You used to love football.”
“Just stop, okay? I’ll go to the game with you and that’s it. You’re not allowed to ask me anything about my past.”
“Okay.”
***
Since none of us drive, Craig drops us off at the game. Dad went straight from school, and I spot him in the distance, talking to a few kids. When he sees me, he smiles and waves, probably overjoyed to see me. It’s been a few months since I’ve been to a game.
Aidan takes in the energy emanating from the spectators. “I forgot how much fun these things are.”
I force myself to forget about Josh and the pain he caused. Honestly, I want to have a good time. Aidan seems like a kind guy, and it’s sort of nice to be here with him.
“Lia?” a voice calls before Sophie flings her arms around me. “You’re here! Wow.” I can’t remember how many times she’s begged me to go to games with her. “You’re with….Aidan?” Her eyes move from me to him. “Wow! What did you say to convince her? I’ve tried so many times, but she wouldn’t budge.”
He curiously looks at me. I know what he’s thinking. He probably suspects there’s more to my reservations about football than an ex-boyfriend. Josh wasn’t just a football player, he was football. He was the star of the team, the talk around school, town. It was impossible to not see his face on every single newspaper. So in order to protect myself and my heart, I’ve shoved away anything football related.
Even after he was arrested and sent to juvie, people still talk about what a legend he was. Like a football god. It’s ridiculous.
I can’t forget the last time I went to one of his games. Even though his team won, Josh wasn’t satisfied with his performance. And he took all that anger out on me.
It feels like my lungs have turned to stone. I can’t breathe, and when I shut my eyes to try to calm my hammering hear
t, Josh’s face floats before me. His lips are curled into an evil smile as he takes hold of my shoulders and shoves me into a wall.
Aidan grabs my hand. “Hey are you okay?”
“Don’t touch me!”
He springs back. “W—what? Sorry.” Concern fills his face. “What did I do?”
Hugging my arms, I twist away from him, focusing on the many people sitting on the bleachers. Our school has a lot of supporters cheering and waving signs. I used to be one of them.
I don’t look his way, but I feel Aidan’s eyes on me. Maybe it was a mistake to come.
He just stands there. When I turn to him, I notice the concern in his eyes has increased exponentially. Maybe it’s meant to make me feel better, but it does the complete opposite. I hate feeling weak and sorry for myself. One thing this mess with Josh taught me is to stand up for myself.
“Lia,” Aidan says, “you good?”
The hairs on the back of my neck stand up every time I think about him being released from juvie, but I’m not going to let that jerk ruin this for me.
Pushing my nerves and worry aside, I give him what I hope is a smile. “I’m fine.”
Relief washes over his face. “Good. You scared me for a sec. Looked like you were about to pass out.”
“Yeah, it’s the crowd.” I shrug. “Too many people is a little overwhelming for me.”
He nods. “I know what you mean. After my accident, everyone came to visit me in the hospital. Of course I appreciated it, but it was very suffocating.”
Aidan leads us to two empty spots on the bleachers. The place is packed like usual. But for some reason, the noise is getting to me. Maybe I have been isolating myself in my room with my books.
I spot Sophie, Alexis, and their friends a few rows away. Sophie waves when her eyes catch mine, and I give her a small smile. Her gaze curiously moves from me to Aidan. So do Alexis’s. Her nostrils flare.
“Sorry,” Aidan says. His gaze is pasted on Sophie and her new friends.
“About what?”
He tilts his head toward them. “Sucks to lose a friend.”
