Bottomed Out

by Brooke May

“Yes.” It isn’t light and sweet, but deep and lustful. I wish I could snap my fingers, and a condom would materialize in my hand.

  Reading my mind, Len leans over and quickly produces one from my side table. My dick is straining and jerks as she glides the condom over. The sun bathes her in the most angelic light. Her nearly white hair and her smooth skin give her those qualities that make me think of an angel right before me.

  “Oh.” Head tilting to one side, her eyes close as a peace fills her face as she sinks onto my lap.

  Holding still for several heartbeats after she has fully seated herself on me, I relish in this. I’ve missed her, and I’ve missed this connection.

  When the need to move takes hold of both of us, Len begins to move her body, unafraid to do all the work for the two of us. She takes her own pleasure from me while I get mine from that. My hands roam under her sweatshirt, pinching, stroking, and doing what I like to her budding nipples before tracing the taut lines of her stomach down to her pussy.

  “Jax.” Her whimper is sweet.

  Fingers find the slickness our union has brought to her. Finding her clit, I separate my time by rubbing aggressively and gently, earning me more cries.

  There is nothing quick about this. Watching her gently rock over me is just as powerful as if I were able to stand and slam into her while I pinned her against a wall.

  I see my future in her.

  “You’re mine.” I grunt, forcing myself to quit playing and pushing myself up into a sitting position while scooting us back so I can remain in this position.

  Her clothed chest hits and brushes against mine.

  My hands wrap around her waist, helping her thrusts to become sharper and more powerful. Each one brings another pant or moan, or some sort of noise of pleasure from her until she locks up in her euphoria.

  And I’m not too far behind her.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Life has fallen into a pretty awesome state.

  Owen’s funeral was a short, simple event where I was finally given the opportunity to meet Len’s parents, Nick and Chris. She ended up getting a little annoyed with them when they started to act as they did around Owen with me.

  I am not a simpleton nor do I need to be babied. Nothing pisses me off more than that but I did my best to keep that to myself since they just lost their son. That didn’t stop Len from putting them in their place about it. She tore that wound right open with making them face the truth about Owen’s issues.

  Since then, it has been cupcakes and rainbows.

  Somewhat.

  My training has shown a great deal of progress for my abilities on the back of my customized quad. It took a while to get used to shifting with my left hand, but thankfully, Paige and Parker have allowed me to train on their personal course, and with Axle now back on a bike, he has been able to ride alongside me.

  And let me tell you, being around a happy-go-lucky Axle is a very odd thing to behold.

  Ever since he and Paige came back from their Grecian vacation, they have been a happy couple, even if they still have a pile of shit to deal with. Their vacation was also my own. Even though Len and I still went to work every day while the other two were gone, we had a fine time together. Len couldn’t handle being at her apartment anymore now that Owen wasn’t next door, so while Axle was away, we moved her into our place.

  Now that she is living with me, every day feels like the first day of the rest of my life. Len is always cuddled up to me and smiling when I open my eyes.

  And life just kept getting better.

  Along with her permission to use her track, Paige has thrown her support behind me, sponsoring me by Piston Motor Sports.

  Putting the past few months into training comes down to this weekend.

  Everything feels like it should.

  Levi is helping with my training, Axle is once again being the natural badass he is on a bike and giving me a run for my money, and I’m in love.

  Putting my weight into the final turn before I hit the straightaway on my last practice lap, I watch as Len stands by the finish line with Parker, who, instead of bothering Axle at this time of day, is helping me keep time.

  “Fastest lap time yet, Jax!” Both of them run up to me when I stop several yards away. Pulling off my helmet, the first thing I do is lean over to give Len a sweaty kiss before turning to Parker.

  “Fast enough?”

  Parker grins, his new, fresher look is a little surprising to see on him. Like his sister, he lived in black. These days, he’s been seen in brighter colors, including pink, according to Axle.

  “More than enough.” Turning the timer to me, I can’t keep the grin contained. That is most definitely a good lap time. “You’re ready for this weekend.”

  I love that he isn’t asking.

  For the past two weeks, everyone has questioned my readiness. It’s refreshing to know that at least one person in my life knows I am.

  And no, I’m not talking about my mom.

  I’ve badgered her enough that I have her convinced to come and watch me. The woman I’m talking about is the one currently cradling my helmet. I know she isn’t completely over Owen’s death, and she is concerned with my safety now. She’s been hovering whenever I’m on the track and at home, her nerves have been slowly eating away at me.

  “Hey, Park, could you give us a couple of minutes, please?”

  “Sure, I’ll go make sure nothing is blocking your garage door.” Thankfully, he gets the hint and takes off.

  Once he is out of earshot, I focus on Len.

  “Are you okay?”

  She opens her mouth to speak only to seal it shut once more. The grin was wearing drops from her face, and she averts her two-toned eyes.

  “Len? You have been worrying yourself over nothing.”

  Just as quickly, that gaze is back on me. “Your safety isn’t something I can’t not worry about.” She takes a step over to me, and she is as close to me as the quad will allow. “Jax, what if you tip and can’t get back up? What if someone runs into you while you’re on your side and something bad happens?”

  “What if I was able to stand right now and throw you over my shoulder, spank your ass, and then make love to you just to prove that I love you?” With that, she is confused but silenced. “Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? You know I love you; the impossibility of me walking makes no difference with that, and the same can be said with me racing this weekend. There are plenty of people around the track at all times who will be watching for shit just in case.”

  “I’ll still worry,” she mutters.

  “And I’m glad you do, but have faith in me. Know that I will be just fine. Quit thinking up all these bad things and think about what it will be like if I won, all right?”

  “I don’t know—”

  “Len!” I snap, causing her to flinch, but the words are out before I can really think of what is coming out. “I’m not Owen. I’m not on some path of self-destruction. I’m going to be just fine!”

  My helmet tumbles out of her hands as her arms fall limply to her sides, and she wears a look I cannot possibly call an angry one, but rather dead. Without another word, she storms away, and I’m the biggest asshole ever.

  “Fuck!”

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Staring down at the water bottle with contempt, I release another huff of frustration.

  Frustrated with myself for being an insensitive asshole to Len earlier.

  Frustrated with Len for being too overprotective and worrying for no reason.

  She loves you, asshole. Quit being such a jackass.

  “I swear, if you make one more miserable sound, I’m going to find the biggest woman to wax your entire goddamn body.”

  Slowly blinking, I drag my gaze away from the perspiring beverage container. Across the small bar from me are my two friends. We are supposed to be toasting to my race tomorrow, but I don’t feel much like celebrating this achievement.

  At least not yet.

 
; I need to get through it first and try to make up with my girl before I feel like celebrating.

  “What?”

  “You’re sitting over there sobbing over your fucking water like a little cunt.” Pointing at me with his beer bottle, Axle pins a glare on me before downing his drink. “You should be feeling pretty fucking good about this right now.”

  “I do.”

  “You’re not acting like it.” Levi, ever so helpful, Crowe adds his two cents. “You huffing, sighing, and throwing yourself a pity party like a little bitch.”

  “Cunt, bitch, I’m so glad my friends are such supportive guys.” Rolling my eyes, I lean back in my chair and finally pay attention to the little celebration we are supposed to be having.

  Axle has checked over my quad four times today and feels satisfied that nothing mechanically is going to go wrong tomorrow. Levi is ready to just have some fun and see what kind of girls will be flashing their goods around tomorrow on the side of the track.

  “Sorry, it’s just—”

  “Your mind is elsewhere,” Levi cuts in.

  “Thinking about how you fucked up today with Pixie,” Axle adds.

  “Ya know, sometimes it is a massive pain in the ass that you two know me so well.” I can’t help but laugh. Running my hand through my short hair, I honestly feel ready to go home and go to bed. “It’s annoying.”

  “Now you know how I feel.” Axle snorts.

  It feels like each time I start to gain momentum with my relationship with Len, I do something to bottom myself out, so much so that my wheels just keep getting buried deeper and deeper no matter how much I push on the throttle to get myself out.

  I’m in it deep this time.

  I should have never said what I did about her treatment toward me. I know that Owen is a sensitive topic for her.

  “I shouldn’t be here.”

  “Damn right, you shouldn’t.”

  “Is it safe for you to return home and hand over your balls without them being destroyed?” I swear to God, Levi has no clue how to take anything seriously. I cannot wait for the day that a woman comes along and tells him no, shutting him down completely instead of lying down and spreading her legs for him.

  I’ll pay good money to witness that mess.

  “I’m out of here.” Unlocking my wheels, I push myself backward until I have enough clearance to turn. “I’ll see you two in the morning.”

  “Damn straight.” Levi salutes me.

  “I hope you survive the night to be able to race.” Axle laughs.

  “See ya.” Waving over my head, I slowly move through the packed sports bar. Everyone is here glued to the numerous TVs for a baseball game. I usually don’t mind and always politely get myself by when no one notices me, but not tonight.

  I’m in a fucking hurry, and all the assholes better move away or I’m plowing into knee caps and shins.

  By the time I get into my van and hit the road for home, I’m a mess of frustrated nerves and worry. Len simply vanished after she stormed off the track earlier. As much as I looked for her, I had no luck locating her. It didn’t help that the Piston Motor Sports complex is fucking huge and difficult to search. She could have been anywhere in the building, and I would have never known.

  By the time I was out front and getting into my van, her car was gone.

  And being the dipshit I am, I didn’t go straight home to beg for forgiveness and own my asshole-ness. I took the easy way out.

  She’s spent the past couple of hours at our apartment by herself, pissed off at me.

  If she’s even there.

  “Shut up.” Slapping the side of my head, I do my best to stay within my lane and the speed limit. The last thing I need right now is to be pulled over and expect to do some sort of half-assed road side circus for an officer to judge if I’ve been drinking or not.

  Relief slaps me when I pull into the parking lot and find her car in Axle’s old spot. Cold and alone like the woman inside.

  With as much urgency as my van will allow, I get up to the front door and debate if I should grab my helmet to protect my head before entering.

  I’m a little more nervous than I would like to admit as I unlock the door and push it open. To my surprise, nothing is being hurled at me as the door opens wide enough for me to enter. No screaming about how big of an ass I am, just absolutely nothing.

  The apartment is dark and mute. There is still enough light coming through the windows to light the path to my room. After locking up, I make my way to my open bedroom door and find Len curled up in the middle of the bed.

  I can’t tell from this direction if she is asleep or not, so I quietly push my way in and then carefully get myself out of my chair and onto the bed. I move around just enough to wake her.

  “Jax?” Her drowsiness is leaving her slightly confused but also making her look innocent as well as gorgeous.

  Going to one of my sides, I pull her to me and cup her sheet-creased face. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” Two-toned eyes dart back and forth to each of mine as alertness returns to her.

  “I’m so sorry for what I said earlier. I’m nervous about tomorrow and knowing that you are too had my head all fucked up. It doesn’t give me the right to snap at you, though, and sling words out like that when I know you are just worried about me because you care.”

  She doesn’t say a word. Her mouth is open slightly as if she wants to say something but doesn’t know what.

  “I love you, Len.” I pull her closer. Our lips just a breath away from one another. Mine glide over hers with each word I say. “You mean more to me than racing ever will. I’m sorry for being a dipshit. I hope you can forgive me?”

  Now that I have the words out, I feel better for the most part. I can’t race while my mind is swarming with other things. I need my focus to be on the track and what is going on around me there, not what is happening in my life outside of it.

  “Of course, I forgive you,” she whispers.

  My dread is gone.

  “But if you ever pull something like that again, I’m going to make your life a living hell.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Race day.

  Two words that used to mean I would be walking the track with other racers rather than rolling along behind them, causing myself to be late to the riders’ meeting.

  I do my best to ignore the stares I’m getting from the others as I push myself around and even the glances my way once I’m on my quad after Axle has his final look through and almost refused to give me my helmet.

  I’m excited to show all of these fuckers I can race just as good as them.

  The only thing that is kind of gutting me is that Len got a call from Paige this morning and will have to leave as soon as my heat is over. Apparently, she’s had ample time to do what she needed here with me. That meant she couldn’t be my crew, and since Axle is still acting like the nervous little girl, I asked Levi to do me the honors.

  Strapping on my helmet, I start the quad and make my way over to the starting line. As I pull up, only a few of the riders continue to turn their gazes toward me while the rest appear to be indifferent. Even though I should be making sure my gloves are snug and that my footing is all right so I don’t drag a foot or anything, I’m looking out across the crowd to see if I can spot Len.

  Axle is in the stands already rubbing his hands together and white-faced with nerves for me. If there is anyone I should have snapped at, it should have been him.

  Oh, I completely get his nerves as much as I get Len’s and my own, but I thought he would have a little more confidence in me.

  Dragging my eyes away from the giant Aussie, I finally land on the love of my life. Standing nearest the exit to make her escape right after I’m done, Len is bouncing from her heels to her toes and smiling my way widely.

  Waving at her, I’m rewarded with her blowing me a kiss.

  Okay Jax, you’ve found your girl. Now it’s time to get your hea
d in the race.

  Giving one final tug on my gloves, I glance down at my feet before pulling my goggles on. Engines are revving around me from where I sit in the middle of the pack.

  Adrenaline is thundering through me. My heart feels the connection as I start my quad once more and prepare for the countdown.

  Unlike motocross, there aren’t as many guys in the lineup. Given the size of our rides, the track would get congested if there were any more. The rubber of my handles connects with my gloved hands, making this quad an extension of myself.

  Taking a deep breath, I shut my eyes as I slowly exhale and snap them open just as we are signaled to start.

  I know I’m not seasoned like the rest of these men surrounding me. Even if we are in an amateur circuit, these guys have been racing far longer on four wheels than I have. But I’m now on, and even without the use of my legs, I don’t feel different from them.

  Letting instinct take hold of me, I let go of everything in the outside world.

  Nothing to do with not seeing my family up in the stand even though I know they are here somewhere. Josie made sure to come find me before I went off to roll over the track. I keep Len and Axle out of my mind as well. I know both of them will probably not be able to breathe properly until I’m safely off the track. The one person outside of the other riders and myself who I allow to seep into my thoughts is Levi.

  Starting in the back, I find it easy to make my way through as I pick off one person at a time until only a couple of riders are ahead of me. The weather was kind and left us with a dry track. But a dry track can have its disadvantages too.

  The dust is flying up so badly that it is making it difficult to see, let alone breathe as I start to gain on the leaders. But I’m not given the opportunity to catch them. The final lap is on us before I want it to. I want this to continue forever. I’m hooked once more and have no desire to give it up.

  Just as I’m entering the final corner, I’m able to gain on the man in second place but it still isn’t enough.

  I finish in third place but never before did being the third best feel as good as this does.